From England living in Scotland

[lovesT]

Hello,

So I know we are not living oversees but I hope I can post here and it will make sense!

I grew up in London, then from last hear of primary to 25 I was in Kent where I met my husband and had our first baby. THEN lockdown happened, I was in mat leave and husband was furloughed so we decided to move to Scotland. This was something we had thought of doing and we had some family up here so we basically just went for it.

We've been here for 5 years almost, own our house (something we we likely couldn't have done where we lived in Kent), now have two children here who are happy and we go to lots of lovely things and work is good etc.

Things are good, but I've really struggled making really good friends and connecting with people and I've really tried (though it is hard with children and basically no support). I've recently started to have wobbles about what if we didn't move? Have I taken anything away from my children? It feels sad they won't see the places that were part of mine and my husband's lives?

We just and back from London where I grew up and saw things with soo many memories. It was an emotional time as it was for my Granny's funeral so I know that's mixed up with how I'm feeling but I feel home sick for a place that isn't home anymore?

I feel like I've started to wonder if I just won't feel settled and connected where we are specifically and if I've left some sort of life behind. I'm assuming this is quite normal? Would love to hear other experiences!

We know where we are isn't our forever place,the location is convenient for work but not where we would choose at all. I don't feel like I fit in so that doesn't help. But where do I fit in?!

Would love to chat to anyone from England living in Scotland and your experiences. Thanks!

I am not someone from England living in Scotland, but I think anyone who has moved to another country (or moved away in general) can recognise those feelings that you have.

My condolences for the loss of your granny. It's very understandable that a bereavement and a funeral make you think about life and your place in the world.

What made you move to Scotland in the first place? (You don't have to write it here, just a question to yourself). Lockdown, maternity leave and furlough, and also some family in Scotland. Close family?
You had thought about moving to Scotland - was it because of your family living there, the nature, the culture, the food, the adventure?

What does your husband think?
If you would move back to England, would you move to London/Kent/somewhere else?
How old are your children?

Moving back to England or staying in Scotland, there is no wrong answer.
Nothing wrong with saying "We have had some great years in Scotland, but now we are ready to move back to England because of the following reasons...".
Nothing wrong with staying in Scotland if you like it and have a good life there. Maybe making new friends will be easier when the children are older?
You can always travel to England and visit.

No wrong answer.
And nothing wrong about wanting to go home.

I wish you and your family all the best!
I hope you will get some answers from people from England living in Scotland!

Perhaps try and ask the question on Scotsnet also?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/scotsnet

This is a quite recent thread by someone from England, living in Scotland, and thinking of moving back to England.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/scotsnet/5147105-should-we-stay-in-edinburgh-or-go-back-home

@SkaneTosthank you so much for such a kind reply 😊 I think it's helpful to know others might feel the same and that there is no wrong or right way!

We never felt like we fit in with the fast paced, money focused part of the South we were in and have always enjoyed travelling and adventures. Javit family up here just made sense to start near them (we have since moved about 40 mins from them but still see them). There are lots of reasons we left and lots of reasons we moved here. I can't tell if I'm in a difficult time in life to make friends (two young children, no support) or if it's just not clicking with people here?! So hard to know.

It's complicated because my husband loves his job (most of the time) and has recently had a bit of a promotion etc.

The hardest thing is that my mum and sister followed us up 😅 and other family have moved slightly closer since. So we can't just leave them again 🙈 I just want to make a nice group of friends and I think that will make a huge difference! Every other part is good, apart from we know we don't want to stay in the town we are in. It's been great for the last few years as it's so close to work but it's not somewhere we love at all, our house is nice and it's convenient.

I know could be soooo much worse but I think going down south made me question a lot but I also can't do much at the moment. Feels lonely!

Thanks again for the reply 😊