Haunted by Australia

[KateShine]

I am haunted by my time living in Australia in my 20s. I returned back to the UK after 4 years living in North Queensland. I had made a life for myself there, everything felt easy and I made some incredible friends, something I didn’t have back in the UK. I returned after people started moving away and settling down and I felt lonely and in need of returning to my home country. I found it immensely hard and still do living back in the UK. I’ve never felt at home here even before Australia. Mainly due to school bullying and lack of friends and sense of belonging.

fast forward 10 years and I have three beautiful preschool children and a fantastic partner. My partner and children have Australian passports. However my partner has never wanted to live there permanently.

I try to bury the constant nagging within my to desperately want to move there with my family but it comes back with a vengeance constantly. I just want to forget my time there and enjoy life here and while I’m trying my best to I find it so hard.

the rational side of me wants to just enjoy life in the UK and just be happy that my children will have the opportunity to live there when they are adults and that we can in the meantime enjoy the freedom of entering AU for holidays etc. but every day I think about Australia, the wonderful easy going approach to life, the blazing sun, and the fun and adventures that are had there.

anyone else share similar feelings ?

@GenericName123 i live in Adelaide - moved her in January with our 2 DC (10 and 12) and we all love it - such a relief to be away from the relentless negativity of the UK. There is loads to do, seasonal, very safe - the DC are thriving.

I agree with others saying it's a longing for an age/ era not a place and possibly a bit of escaping from hum drum life with a young family.

Not quite the same but I lived in Brighton as a young adult ( born and raised up north) and left 15 years ago to move back to home town where I settled down.

I sometimes long for those carefree days of yore , did a lot of partying. But I know love has changed now and it's my youth I'm pining for.

@Grabyourpassportandmyhand hi, can you not move back there ?! If you like it that much and watch livestream cameras of Australia during the night and want to die there surely you can find a way to return there for good ?

Come back! It’s safe, free excellent quality healthcare, best beaches and bush. A great place to raise a family. The major drawback is it’s so far away from Europe but if you can bear the pain of the long flight it’s manageable.

@Galdownunder I honestly would, it’s my partner who won’t

I am very fortunately that my DH has no interest in returning to Aus. We met there; I'd been backpacking, (25) then settled, got citizenship (28) good job in a Qld hospital, loads of (Aus) mates & parties etc. BUT one by one my mates settled down with a local of the same religion, & I'd just decided it was time to come home to the UK when I met DH (32). We had DS1&2 there, then decided to take a year's unpaid to come to the UK. Boys 2/4. That was 19 years ago. He's been back (family stuff) twice, we all went 12 years ago on holiday; but we don't really miss it.

DH likes English pubs, real ale, a greater diversity of mates, footpaths, proximity to Europe (he's in Krakow right now with the boys). His grandad was a Shropshire lad, emigrated aged 19!

We don't miss the relentless heat, burning sun from 10-4 which appears to be getting worse; dark at 6pm, casual racism and misogyny, the monoculture, the borderline alcoholism, the religious nature of all the local private schools, and their fixation on sport.

However, DS1 just renewed his Aus passport so best of luck to him if he decides to go work out there!

I had a brilliant time in my 20s but by the time we left, it was ho-hum domesticity, but with a swimming pool...

... an aside, we get our 'fix' of sun every summer in Spain! We considered retiring there, but, Brexit.

I think this is one of my favourite responses because i totally get it. It has reassured me a lot so thank you. I think the door on aus for me will never be fully closed but I do feel a lot of that is about not wanting to close the door to my youth. I love the weather in Australia but obviously hundreds of countries have this weather and a lot closer to home. A happy medium I think will be to try to create a life where we have an opportunity to travel abroad with our children often. I’m working on it..!

thanks for your contribution x