Potential move to Australia with kids

[Jellybeansandflyingsaucers]

We have the opportunity to move to northern Queensland with my husbands work (we’ve never been there before) good money, although I would need to get a job once youngest was in kindy/prep. Good relocation package.
we have close friends living in the Town we would be living who have similar age children to ours.
our kids are 8,4 and 10 - I’m just so worried they won’t be ok and won’t settle and I hate the thought of them sad, and resenting me later in life. Im also not sure I can cope with the stresses of moving our whole life from UK to Australia (selling house etc- need the money from the sale) but also I don’t want to crush my husbands dream of a better life for us all. I’d like to be brave enough to go but I’m so worried.
just after some opinion or positive stories - we have to make final decision in a few days. This would be our last chance (visa wise)as husband is in his forties…

The thing is, you won't know until you go. It may be tough. It may be fantastic. Be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. Sounds like a great opportunity

Have you been to Australia at all? I wouldn't move my whole family to a country I hadn't visited. I thought I would love Australia but really didn't when I went on holiday, and put plans to go and work there on hold. I have lots of friends who have moved out there (common for doctors) - half loved it and never came back, the other half did a year then came back to the UK as either didn't like Australia, or missed friends and family too much.

Essential you visit first. That's your investment in making the right decision. At least two weeks, and not for tourism, but to experience day-to-day life, visit schools, try out commutes, look at rentals.

Also be prepared to spend the rest of your lives in Australia, even if you don't learn to love it. Once your children are growing up Australian they may want to stay they (and marry Australians, etc). So even if you get homesick, you'll have to live with it if you want to stay with your family. Also know travel will never be as cheap as it is now - it's only going to get more expensive in years to come.

Will your children be able to stay for a lifetime or might they face immigration issues that send them back to their home country despite not being raised there?

I grew up in Queensland and there are obviously benefits to the lifestyle and sunshine.

The Australian housing market is in absolute crisis though. Could you afford to live there? Would you be able to buy? If you are looking at somewhere like Cairns it's very pricey.

Article here from the Guardian about how you need an average salary of $164,400 to afford to buy. Will DH be on that?

I didn't like Australia much when we had a month there a few years ago.

We were in Adelaide. Everywhere is so far from anywhere else, even within Aus.

Try the pomsinoz forum OP. I was on there a lot when we moved out there (nearly 20 years ago) Totally different situation a we didn't have kids at that time. Ultimately I didn't want to stay and returned to the UK after 15 months. The pros did not outweigh the cons for me. I don't regret coming back.

Yeah. But you were in Adelaide 😂

I've just seen you are taking about NORTHERN Queensland. Are you meaning Cairns type area?
Its hot. Always. And humid. It's nit a place I would consider. Brisbane sure but northern Queensland is a different beast

I'm Australian and have divided most of my life between there and the UK. I advise against it.

You've got to consider not just "Australia" but the specific region. If it were Sydney or Melbourne, maybe. Those places have changed hugely since I grew up and now just as interesting, cultured and diverse as London, Brighton or Manchester. I don't know Brisbane but northern Queensland is much less so. You might experience considerable culture shock in your interactions with people there.

It does have some astonishing natural scenery but beyond seeing that as a tourist, is it enough for a life?

And it's hot. REALLY hot. There was a time when this might have been a selling point - think picture postcards of muscular tanned bodies on sandy beaches and endless reruns of "Neighbours". Now, with global warming taking off and much of Australia's hottest regions literally catching on fire every few years, not so much.

Doing it to "see how it goes" sounds like creating trouble to me. Yes, you could do that as a single person, but as a family: what happens if after a few years two of you find it an idylic paradise that you refuse to be dragged away from, while the other two are bored silly and crying into your pillows with homesickness every night? And it's not like you can just jump on a plane to go back and forth for a weekend whenever you feel the need.

Finally as a pp said, housing in Oz is ridiculously expensive. Time was when anyone coming to the UK from there couldn't believe how expensive the UK was. Now it's the other way around. You'd have to do the sums for your own situation but there are few people I can imagine coming from another country and buying into the Aussie housing market.

I think you'd need to all visit the specific place for at least a month and properly get to know it, before taking such a leap. Short of doing that and deciding you're all smitten, I'm just not seeing the upside.

My brother and his wife did this, similar ages, similar kids - they’d never been to Australia before but it was his dream. He went for 10 days for his interview and then they all did exactly what you described. Fifteen years later they have a fantastic life, I’ve visited and it’s bloody lovely! It worked for them, that’s all I can say

You might love it or hate it and I would say you have to visit to get a sense of that before you commit to a move. I lived and travelled in Oz for a year so a limited time but I came away certain I couldn't live there.

where exactly?

I wouldn’t move to Cairns area no, very humid and quite parochial I think?
Big cities eg Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane maybe but any except possibly Melbourne the heat would rule me out .

You were in Adelaide. C'mon.

Are they in Northern Queensland though? I used to go there quite a lot as I used to work in mining (wondering if OP's husband also does). It is super remote and places are a long way apart. Cairns (if it is Cairns- might be somewhere even smaller) makes Perth look like LA. It's committing to moving somewhere that basically has very few cultural and leisure amenities and where the next big city (Brisbane, not Sydney) is an 18 hour drive. I'd say that's a massive risk and not one I'd take, and I moved to Hong Kong with 5 weeks notice so I'm not particularly risk adverse.

Check out the Australia and New Zealand-board here on Mumsnet.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/aussie-nz-mumsnetters

Which part of Northern Qld? Because even up there, the difference between Cairns and (say) Charters Towers is significant. A lot of the towns up there go through really fluctuations too due to employment. Eg Townsville has had a boom time and was a really nice town, but unemployment hits these places really hard and they can become crime ridden really quickly.

Things you need to be aware of in North Qld - it is nothing at all like the U.K. It’s tropical, you get cyclones, monsoon like rain, boiling humid heat in the summer and you also can’t go in the ocean in the summer because of jellyfish. It’s so SO far from a city - Brisbane is a flight away.

It is also beautiful - wonderful beaches, rainforest, the winter is stunning.

I live in Sydney and it gets quite hot here in the summer but even I couldn’t cope with the humidity and heat of Qld, nor with the feeling of being miles from cities.

i would definitely visit before you move. Please don’t think of it as a hot England, it really isn’t. Some of the people in FNQ are so bizarre - if you read any mad stories about Aus it will nearly always be out of FNQ! Having said that, my aunt lives up there and loves it. She is basically self sufficient on her farm though and it isn’t a life I would want or be able to cope with at all.

Hi , I’m interested if you moved as I’m in a similar situation. I personally am only concerned about the education and it not being as good as uk. I would say your children will love the new life and you have nothing to fear that way. You will probably miss your family and this will be the biggest issue.

What decision did you make OP?

I think it sounds like an incredible opportunity for you and your family. I wanted to give a positive push!

As someone who personally moved to Australia I hope you’ve jumped at the chance! It’s a country of so much opportunity, the lifestyle is incredible and I personally haven’t regretted it for a moment. My family have blossomed and life is far more comfortable that it would ever have been in the UK.

I don’t know where in Northern QLD you were looking at, I haven’t lived up there but it can be quite varied weather wise and very different from the UK. But that’s something you learn to live with! and you wouldn’t have to stay in that area forever if the country suited you but the particular weather zone didn’t.

If you go in with a positive attitude your kids will likely feel that too, it’s about showing them all the new exciting aspects and yes it will get hard at times but you focus on the positives.

At the end of the day, what’s the worst that can happen, you love it and stay, or you find it’s not for you and you return to the UK. Yes that comes with a cost but I’d say take the chance. If you’ve a relocation package to go that eases a lot of stress of the move there anyway.

Good luck!

What is it you want from education @superstrongmom ? Academic? Life skills? Opportunity?

My personal experience is that it is typically less academic focussed in Australia. But that’s not a bad thing. So much focus on sport, living healthy, integrity and respect, leadership, apprentice opportunities etc. Australia seems to have a far more well rounded education from what we have experienced in the last 5 years (primary and high school) and it’s far less pressurising than what I know of a UK environment.

Can you treat it as a two year adventure? I’d love to take my kids abroad for a couple of years but I would probably rent out my house and rent abroad so I always had the option of coming home.

Can I ask what makes you say that re Adelaide? It’s the second negative comment and it’s one of our options. 🫣

I’m from the U.K. and have also lived in Adelaide for 2 years (13 years ago) so my comments are these:
Cons: it is a fairly small town, so job opportunities aren’t brilliant if you’re a high flyer. If you want a comfortable job though, it’s fine.
It feels like you’re on the edge of Australia because it’s such a long way to main cities
When I was there, the people were friendly but it was hard to break into friendship groups as they’ve all known each other for years.
It can feel a little bit bogan

Pros
It’s affordable
The scenery is lovely and it’s a very livable city. You can drive from one end to the other in 15 minutes and be out of the city into the country in the same amount. No rush hour to speak of and awesome free trams that run through the city and out to the beach
Lots of nice restaurants and cafes
The climate is pleasant - it’s a dry heat and even at 35 degrees it’s not too bad.

I would say, just visit and see how you find it. For me, it was too quiet, felt too far from everywhere and for my husband the jobs just weren’t there.
However, we were able to move back to Sydney and buy a house on one good income in a lovely area and those opportunities are now few and far between. If he was in the same equivalent job now, we would not be able to afford our house.

If I had to rank them, for me it would be Sydney, Adelaide, England but that’s because we’re established here and earn a high wage. I would rank Adelaide above England but it depends where you have come from. If you’ve come from an exciting city then you may find it boring and slow - it’s actually kind of similar to the town I grew up near; Horsham in Sussex and I would say it’s better than Horsham but you don’t have the access to the main cities without a plane ride.

Hope that helps @Anotherhood

Thank you. We are from the country side in Suffolk, lived in London and Chelmsford but not a city lover and much prefer the quiet, though move wise we want somewhere when the children get older they won’t get too bored, the cost of living doesn’t out reach the wages like it does in the UK, the schools are good, it’s safe and it doesn’t get so hot it cooks you 😅

Because if the new school fines coming in to effect in august in the UK we couldn’t afford those let alone the £10k + just on flights to have a look….. hubby is a police officer and I’m going into HR. Both hitting 40 so it’s our last opportunity really, but it’s a big and expensive mistake to make if you get it wrong.

Do you live in the city or outside? I’m wondering for travel purposes. We had thought of Brisbane, we liked it there when we visited, bit more to do, Queens town I’d wonder if that was super touristy and possibly overpriced because of that….

Sydney I like but think it would be too big for us to live.

Can you say where in Northern Queensland OP? We are talking about an area the size of Western Europe!

I’m in Cairns and happy to advise the good, bad and ugly if this is where you are moving.