arrgghhhh coping with expat life, change, meeting new people, saying goodbye, how will it affect the kids....

[GTE]

ugh. Feeling worried about all this! Would love to hear other's views/experiences.. just posted on my blog about all this and realised I would really like to hear what other expat mums think/feel etc about the whole lifestyle... read here motherland1.blogspot.com/2008/03/coping-with-change-or-not-rather.html here to hear more of my woes...

First - it's right to feel worried!

I think there is a fairly predictable pattern that most people go through - and this can last up to three years, depending on how quickly you adapt.

Obviously there is excitement at the beginning, which turns into trepidation at all the hard work there is ahead, and perhaps some fear as you wait for visas to be processed.

When you arrive in your new country, there is wonder, but also a bit of disappointment as it does not live up to your expectations, then frustration as you find every day things difficult. You soon realise that 95% of what you do as a SAHM is the same wherever (shopping, cleaning, cooking).

My advice is to make the best of both worlds. Leave the bad bits of your old life behind, but enjoy the good bits (and share with your new neighbours). Take on board the good bits of your new life, but ignore that bad things. Don't try to replicate your old life - explore your new one and be pleasantly surprised.

I can't say for you, but I can, I hope be reassuring about children's experiences.

We lived abroad for three years when I was much older, 11-14, and, despite the upheaval and leaving friends, and people coming and going, I think it was a life-changing experience for me - in a good way. It broadened my outlook and gave me a wealth of new experiences, all of which far outweighed the sad bits. And I think I would have said that at the time.

hello

sorry been off line for ages. Thanks for replies - We live in Cambodia. Have been for 2 years but worry about kids saying goodbye to friends as they are always moving on, how it will affect them as we move about the world (if we continue to do so) etc.

Hi GTE, we are living in Malaysia and I have the same concerns, I have ds1 - nearly 4 ds2 - two and dd - three months. I agonise over the potential effects of this life. Think there is a book out called 3rd Culture Kids, which I am going to try and get hold of, have read some extracts from it and it sounds informative.