German Corner

[finknottle]

Deutsch or English
Native speakers, expats, anyone
From Brezeln to Bier

Please don't ask if you join in, everyone is welcome

For discussion of schools see separate thread

[finknottle]

Sandy, thanks. I've been reading half the night and morning and they're the first that express what I'm looking for.

Who's the "When I'm Gone" by, do you know?

[SSSandy2]

I don't sorry but I'll investigate. For the service if it is a religious one still (?) maybe "The Lord is my Shepherd" as reading or hymn

I think maybe the vicar refusing gives the family the opportunity to make this a very personalised service. Could they have one of her favourite songs, religious or not? I bet there would be a lovely Spanish hymn someone could sing. Given the text, anyone can have a go at singing along in Spanish. We've sometimes had Spanish hymns in church and everyone manages. If her family are flying over, that would be nice for them.

Could the family maybe make a pinboard to document her life a little? Perhaps the children would like to do that. Put a big happy photo of her in the middle where she is smiling and then show her as a baby, a little girl, her wedding photo, some family shots. They could have that up on display as a sort of positive tribute to who she was.

God it's so sad , isn't it? That vicar is hard to understand alright. He's thinking, they only come to me when they need me and don't support my church so why should I do this. Is he not sparing a thought for the fact that by refusing to do this, he could well be losing 3 young people to the church?

[finknottle]

Found it - thanks to our friend google.

That Corinthians is good, I think you need a bit of old-fashioned / old-style poetry.

And like a fool, I've been looking for stuff on Trauer when I should've been looking for friendship and love. Mind you, it is hard to find something that isn't gushy or plain cringeworthy.

[SSSandy2]

I like the quote by Albert Schweizer, will have to see what it is in German - "What matters most in life are the traces of love we leave behind"

Found it: "Das einzig Wichtige im Leben sind die Spuren von Liebe, die wir hinterlassen, wenn wir weggehen."

I like that because it focuses more on the positive things someone achieved and you can go on to talk about who they were and how they lived their life, IYSWIM. There must be a good site online with texts and songs in German but I have to go out to an appointment in a minute, so I'll have a google tonight. Maybe we can think of something that is more specifically related to who she was and perhaps how she died. I don't know. When is the funeral?

[finknottle]

Seeing as this thread is over 600 posts long and I've now gone and stuck a whole gloomy bit in, will someone please start a new more cheerful one? Not pleasant to wade through sad stuff.

Call it something more creative too

Any more ideas for poems/readings could stay in this gloomy corner. Think my head may explode after so much reading - will check back later.

Thanks for the help.

[finknottle]

X post.

I've been googling like mad but with little success.

Funeral early next week but need to get stuff printed and settled by the weekend.
Thanks again Sandy - and start a new thread!

[SSSandy2]

zu Befehl!

Don't worry, we'll find what you need. Sorry you have all this worry on top of mourning for your friend. You'd think at least in a case like this, compassion would be all around them, wouldn't you?

[hupa]

I´m really sorry to her about your friend Finknottle. I think it´s unbelievably heartless of the vicar not to get involved, but as SSSandy says, it will be a far better service with the input of family and friends who really care.
I really like the sentimnet behind this poem,

Life Goes On

If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower
Nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I am gone
Speak in a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves
That I have known

Weep if you must
Parting is hell
But life goes on
So .... sing as well

Joyce Grenfell
1910-1979

I realise it´s very hard to look forward at the moment when everyone is feeling so devastated.

[berolina]

finknottle I am so sorry.

I really can't think of anything right now - and me a Germanist - but can you post your email address (if, unlike mine, non-identifying) on here? Will gladly (well, ykwim ) have a stab at translating.

[taipo]

I'm so sorry Finknottle . Agree with the others that you'll have a better service without the vicar.

I like that poem, hupa and Ssandy's suggestions. I will have a think, too.

[finknottle]

Thanks Taipo.

You lot have cheered me up - I was beginning to think I wouldn't find anything suitable and not being a church-goer have not idea what the German standard readings are. Her husband wants something affirming and texts like the Corinthian one are that.
He said he's not "a big fan of God" atm but I think it's more he's not a fan of the church so he will want some religious readings.

[berolina]

Shall have a go and email you, finknottle.
(I am religious but I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't all that enamoured of God atm - but a good religious reading can be a very powerful thing)

[berolina]

Have emailed you

[finknottle]

Thanks for that, bero, have replied.

[trockodile]

Hello everyone -haven't been around much recently, DH came home after 10 weeks away, and now has 2 weeks leave, also a friend came to stay with her 2 year old and I had to go into hospital for a D&C under General Anaesthetic(as an aside hurray for the German Medical system).

So sorry about your friend Finknottle

Thank you SSSandy for remembering me -I feel quite touched! Have just posted on the schools thread -DS has just gone on a taster session to his new Kita![heart in mouth emoticon!] Dh is with him today, as I think both of us will be too much. I will go next week, then he starts 5th May. They have been so nice so far, can't believe how helpful they are.

We have had a busy couple of weeks, trips to Munster Zoo, swimming, Tier Park and 2 visits to Play Mobil Land. Can I just say how wonderful it is -we love it! It is an 8 hour round trip for us, we did it in a day the first time and the next spent the night in the Play Mobil hotel. Cannot recommend it more highly.

[SSSandy2]

You've been very busy Trockodile. THe KG sounds nice. Hope it works out.

Finks, I'm not usually online much over the weekend but feeling a bit sick this weekend. Just wanted to ask how you are going and if there is anything you'd like us to search for/translate/discuss relating to the funeral still.

[admylin]

Sorry I can't help much can I finknottle. Dh can't find what he brought back from professors funeral but said it was alot from old students and colleagues on his teaching and research so probably wouldn't have helped. Hope you've got through it all and are feeling abit better.

Lurk alert, for Berolina. By chance I saw you on another thread and didn't realise you were having such a hard time of things at the moment. I bet you've got burn out syndrome, they don't really recognize that in Germany 'til you nearly fall over with it.

Do you want to look at our flat? We will be out of it in September and the garden is only used by us, we've got 3 rooms and I've put some pics on the profile of the garden etc, if you like you can look at it. We're in deepest Mitte and not too expensive. The other Mitbewohner are professionals and usually away at the weekends and never set foot in the garden at any time.

[berolina]

Thank you admylin! Looks to be a lovely big garden. And you have room for a table in the kitchen I would be reluctant to leave Steglitz/Friedenau tbh, but do you want to CAT me if you can, or if you can't I intend to get a non-identifying email set up for MN purposes, so when I do I'll post it on here Thanks again.

[berolina]

(I will be to lose you from our Berlin battle hardened veterans society, btw.)

[admylin]

I can't CAT but I can tell you where the flat is and all the details if you like by email - I have one of those email addresses already! admylin at gmx dot de

I spent all day today reading on a blanket in the garden (and have a sunburnt arm and face) while the dc played and I couldn't believe I was in the middle of Berlin. The only negative part of our flat is that it's 3rd floor but we'd planned on moving down if someone moved out but now it's us moving out - not in love with Berlin but still can't face the thought of organising yet another move.

[finknottle]

Morning you lot,

Thanks to your help I have my readings. Much appreciated. It was such a relief last week to be able to rant and to ask for help!

It is a glorious day today and smells so wonderfully of Spring. I don't think we were the only ones who had a barbecue yesterday

[admylin]

Morning - was a lovely weekend too wasn't it. Dh went to work as usual and we just stayed in the garden and I finished my book and the dc played and they had their drawing stuff out and their books. It was so nice and peaceful too - we forgot to go in for lunch!

Have to get some summer gear for everyone - I need a summer , light jacket and some sandles for the dc and for me. Last summers clothes still fit me (phew) so thank goodness for that, I always think I'm putting weight on in my old age but going by the clothes I can't have!

[SSSandy2]

part II of the German Corner :www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2423/521224