Heading back to UK: anyone pondering it?

[thefoggiest]

Anyone here toying with the idea of moving back to the UK after years away? I keep hearing doom and gloom stories from people back home, but... Well, there's a reason they're still there, isn't there!

Thing is @PolkaDotShoes my parents, in laws and other family members are all there and none of them are saying how awful it is either.
We also had an experience with the NHS as my son contracted a fairly potentially serious eye infection when he was there, and again, it could not have been a better experience (and I’m a huge fan of the Australian health system).
It’s difficult to know - everywhere has their down sides I suppose. We found things like food miles cheaper than in Sydney for example.

@pompomdaisy you've sold the north to me :)

Moving back here was the best thing we could have done.
The media have a clear agenda to stir up discontent.
This is a wonderful country in so many ways but we never read about the good stuff?

I'm in the NE and we are very happy here. I find it a lot less crowded here than when I visit a lot of areas in the South East though. I think too many people make life stressful. We live next to plenty of open spaces, beautiful countryside and fantastic facilities for children.

I've lived in the Middle and Far East with my family and we always wanted to come home. As much as we love the sun, there's nothing like being near all your family and old friends. We have a good life here and people aren't materialistic. People don't care what you can afford or look like, it's more about who you are.

I still follow a lot of influencers in the Middle East and they obviously have a lot of disposable income so buy a lot of unnecessary stuff. I think why do you need all that shit?

We often get tempted to move abroad for a couple of years or so (my partner can "work from anywhere" with his job, as can I, so we wouldn't have the stress of finding a new job etc).
However, a lot of people I know who've moved abroad are now coming back home. I think covid made them reconsider, especially if they have older parents or family members and the fear that they couldn't get home due to travel restrictions etc made them very concerned and realise how far away they were.
Equally, even though we pay a lot of money for the NHS and it's far from perfect, having it there is such a relief when I hear about my friends having babies abroad or getting poorly (no matter how minor or how major). Being in a position where they "can't afford a mammogram" right now is absolutely preposterous to me!
The majority (well actually all, bar two) of my parents friends who moved abroad are now back in the UK now they're in their 60s, and all of my friends my age who've got parents who are getting frailer or are have young children are moving back at the moment.
Uk has its problems, but my god it's better than some of the alternatives.

Every time I visit the UK I get the urge to move back but once I go back home again, I pretty soon remember why I don't want to move back, things just work better in the country I live in even if it lacks things like decent variety of food, and friendly chatter with strangers. If I could afford to visit more often then that would be perfect, get a regular "fix" of the UK while still enjoying the benefits of life abroad.

I'm really enjoying reading your different POVs! I do know that Brexit has made it harder but I have friends in the UK who didnt have any particular reason to stay and there was a five year lead in to Brexit being actually enacted. So they clearly enjoy living there despite it all!

I'm in France. I grew up here in part and have double nationality.

The weather is something I miss too! 🙈 The UK climate is great IMO. Give me rain, foreboding skies, make it relentless, I can take it!!!

Friendliness, upbeatness. French people actually pride themselves on being moaners ("on est râleurs !"). It can be draining. Don't know if people in the UK realise just how friendly that society is. Even in London you get met with cheeriness so often. I like that.

Food. I know, I know! France is amazing in one sense, for example I'll go and get a baguette, go to the fromagerie and get two cheeses and pick up some fruit at the market and that's lunch sorted.
But damn, I miss variety. Tahini, black beans, tandoori paste, birds eye chilies, great veggie/vegan options including ready meals.... Those are all basic things available on my grans village supermarket, and which even in Paris I had to go to specialist shops for.

Getting out and about. I find in France people tend to be homebodies more. People do more stuff in the UK. Even in medium towns it feels lively and full. You can make friends so much more easily because people change up their lives more, start again more.

Inclusivity. You see lots of different people. You see disabled people out and about frequently. I think France has quite a jarring approach if that stuff is important to you. For example their word for guardianista or wokism is "islamogauchisme" 😳
People have very different styles and attitudes.

Admin, taxes. I'm self employed and in France it's like a constant battle to stay on top of this rolling wave. In the UK my admin life was something even a child could handle.

TV. No comment.

Now for measure, the bad....

Trains. Jesus Christ, it's true that when I was back in the UK recently, I thought what the fuck is this? Eye watering prices, an absolute shit show, massive delays, no seating in the trains, people sitting on the floors, trains from the 70s. It's disgusting.

Health. I'm torn on this one. My aunt got breast cancer and in fairness the NHS were so responsive and swift. They had her all set up with a programme and ready to go that same week. However after her masectomy she was sent straight home that same day. Is that normal?! I found that quite intense. And I've found my own experiences with the NHS pretty hit and miss. I do think it is massively underfunded and that's quite scary to me.

Housing. Landlords that can kick you out with a little notice? That can decide whether or not you have a pet? Maybe I've been in France too long but this is all wrong IMO. The balance needs redressing in the UK.

Lack of just being. This is where I contradict myself. One of my favourite things in France is to sit at a cafe terrace and watch the world go by. You cant do that so much in the UK, the culture and streets dont have the same languid feel. You do find things that aim to recreate that but I feel like its forced so I dont do it.

My ideal would be a mix of both. Maybe I need to go and live in the channel islands? 😁

Wow sorry that is a massive post! 😁

Living abroad but following British media definitely gives you a skewed impression. We lived in Germany for 3 years and genuinely worried about coming back as of course the media gives you all the bad things that happen without any of the countering experience of living somewhere.

However I wouldn’t read anything into people choosing to stay in the UK one way or another. There are all sorts of reasons people stay, from lack of options to family to a sense that it may be a country on the decline but it’s OUR country on the decline 🤷‍♀️

I love Britain and I love living here. I’m envious of your dual nationality though.

We’ve been back for 2 months. I was not enthusiastic to come, and I’m sure there are ups and downs ahead, but on the whole it has been a better move than I expected. The supermarkets are amazing here - so much variety and great quality.
i don’t know what you mean about landlords being able to kick you out - friends of ours moved back shortly before us and are not instigating legal proceedings to try to get their house back as the tenants did not leave at the end of their tenancy. They are having to stay in airbnbs while they do that.

£50k per year 🤯

I think if you have a business in the UK and live in Aus that's a bit hard core!

A pp had it bang on, moving home and being around family and old friends is priceless. We spent 10 years in the UK and moved home a couple of years ago. I'm just back from taking dc1 for a visit with my DP just because we wanted to. I will NEVER tire of being able to do that after not having that option for so long

/now instigating

My DP but her GP obviously. Don't think I made that clear 🙂

@Ozgirl75 we are other way and are contemplating a move to aus. One thing holding us back is we both have businesses here but we could do then from aus with a trip back here once / twice a year. Can I ask how did you find the tax etc with doing that?

I actually think the UK is pretty great, the climate is mild, the food and choice is great, people are friendly, loads to do, easy to travel from etc. BUT I've never felt settled here and even after 25+ years I still call Australia home! I miss the lifestyle, the decent beaches, the laid back attitudes, the fact it's not pitch black at 4.30.

I still have a lot of family there though, but DH is a Brit and wants to stay near his mum (fair enough!) not sure what we will do!

All these people saying the UK is toxic, how much have you travelled?
I’ve been in several countries recently where grocery prices were outrageous, taxes were higher, racism was open and horrific, healthcare was abysmal, homeless cities horrific drug problems…
I have lived abroad, and there were things I enjoyed, but actually I’m always happy to come home. The UK isn’t that bad!

We're pondering a move to my Scandinavian home country next year but are really torn. I have lived in the uk for over 20 years now and feel I've been ruined, I will never feel quite home anywhere. Despite its problems I love the uk, I agree about the food (so much choice), the friendly, easy way people relate to each other, the openness. If I was originally British (I am naturalised recently) and my family lived here I don't think I would contemplate leaving. BUT, the pull home is incredibly strong, and my home country has got lots of good things about it too. I think life could be really good there but I really don't know until we have tried.

My point being, you can try to compare and to weigh for and against and try to work out the "best" country but at the end of the day that's meaningless because it's your heart that decides it. The problem for me is my heart is in two places!

...and a really fascinating one!!

I've lived abroad for a few years and recently spent a few months in the UK.

Loved the diversity of personalities and the easy banter. I was also impressed by basic NHS care (3 cancer screening tests, including a mammogram; an efficient online prescription service).

Places are changing rapidly, though. There's just too many cars on the road and places get rammed (even up North!).

I think we all end up longing for more space, and that's what drives us abroad in search of it. Or maybe that's just me.

@HomeBittersweetHome
Completely understand that. I will always be torn and have spent my whole adult life veering back and forth between the two. When I die my ashes should probably be scattered in the channel 😂 A really good friend of mine is from Scandinavia and feels very torn about her home country too - loves the outdoorsiness, calmness, smoothness of it, dislikes the social monotony

Did Brexit nail your feet to the floor or withhold your passport? Don't be silly.

Just FYI for anyone really wanting to leave the UK but not knowing how, you could always look at Ireland. I have lots of family there and spent some of my teenager years there. It's a different outlook in many ways, but much will feel very familiar to you. Culture, food, climate, social attitudes. There has always been a "special agreement" between the UK and ROI that remains unchanged by Brexit. You might enjoy life there... And if gaining a new citizenship is important to you, it would make a great stepping stone.

I think you will never get to live in the perfect country, it's more a matter of personal attitude. I loved living in Germany, but was totally overcome with homesickness when I returned. There's always good and bad everywhere. Just don't be one of those people who move somewhere and find nothing but negatives.

I am finding living in the U.K. a bit depressing at the moment but I wonder if the grass is always greener.

A friend of mine emigrated to Australia a few years ago (his wife is Australian). He was living in a room at his parents' house and now has a house in Sydney. All sounds amazing in theory.

But he hates it. (His words not mine) he finds it lacking in culture compared to the U.K., feels like a backwater, hasn't really gelled with people and made good friends (I think some of the people he's met are a bit misogynistic) and misses being near to Europe for holidays.

His life sounds great to the outsider but, as much as we moan about living in the U.K., perhaps there's a feeling of belonging that we don't always appreciate.

For all those citing Brexit as the reason they are unable to leave, what exactly is stopping you? Is there very much more paperwork? You had five years prior to us leaving the EU to sort out an easier move, and chose not to do so; is the process now really so onerous that your dreams are unreachable? DH travels regularly to eU and has no issues, and we have friends who travel and work in EU too, with little change.

I see no evidence of a cost of living crisis where I live in the UK. Everyone appears to have a lot of disposable income and restaurants and shops etc are always very busy. The UK is a great place to be right now.

Yes its a lot more paperwork now. You can't just move somewhere in Europe on a whim now like you could pre-Brexit, you have to have a reason like work (as in already have a job in the country you move to), family members living there, or studying there, or be independently rich so you can fully support yourself and get a residence permit on that basis. Then there's applying for the first residence permit, then renew regularly until you are able to apply for a permanent residence permit, and each time there's a risk you'll get denied.