Anyone in the process of moving home?

[KobaniDaughters]

Looks like we’re more than likely moving back to the U.K. - maybe end of the year for DH but summer for DC and I. Feeling pretty overwhelmed and wondering if anyone else was planning to head back from abroad in the next few months for shared hand holding?

I am. Myself, DH and 3 DC. I’ve been quite excited about the new start (and hopefully end of covid being so overwhelming) but as it’s getting closer I’m getting nervous. I think I’ll get a culture shock very much. I’ve been abroad for 10-15 years and I still love where I am, maybe more than when we came here, but I know moving back is for the best in my head but my heart is nervous. We’re moving for the dc specific education opportunity and to be near elderly GP.

How old are your DC? We’ve been away 10yrs too, I’ve gone through periods of very bad homesickness and we went to therapy last year as we couldn’t talk about a move home without it turning into a fight and it changed EVERYTHING for us.

I’m excited but nervous of reverse culture shock and D.C. being secondary aged means we can’t just try out a few areas of the U.K., we need to choose somewhere and stick to it so that feels a little overwhelming.

When are you planning to move?

Tentatively joining, I think we are heading back to the UK after five years overseas so DC can start school in the UK.

My DC will start secondary and so yes it also very much is a permanent move once we’re there. We haven’t been to the area (aside from driving through it) we’re going to for years so it’s based on what it was like years ago/second hand accounts from friends and family. We also have only done virtual tours of the schools dc will go to. It feels like we’re really taking a chance in that regard because they have a very nice school here and we love our area. It’s quiet village near a mostly deserted beach. Loads of space and very few people. We are moving to the outskirts of a city in England but it might as well be down town New York in comparison to here. I really love the place we’re going, I’ve lived there before and it’s great. But ... I’m so nervous as to how the dc will respond to the change. We’re moving in summer. There is always a national holiday here over July and it will make the contrast even more stark. I know there are going to be many positives, I’ve just forgotten them right now 🥺 no seriously this is just the nerves talking I know it’s for the best. Also my dc hasn’t had their education in English, I’m not sure whether to get them a tutor over the summer for a few hours a day for a couple of weeks to help them, or if it’s better to settle into the new surroundings and not worry them too much about it and take it as it comes. Oh no so many doubts 😖

They can read and write in a basic form in English but nowhere near their age level for English speaking children

@newstart1234 do you have school places already lined up then? It does sound idyllic where you are but as we all know essentially it comes down to same shit different bucket!

I’m wondering the same about getting a tutor especially for my eldest, we’re in the US and they haven’t been back in school since lockdowns began last March (first day back today but still on zoom) and I’m worried my eldest is significantly behind.

We used to live in London and won’t be going back but need to be commutable, trying to do the research from far away is tough!

Oh my, I can’t believe they’ve been out of school so long. I’m wondering if it will be slightly easier moving this summer because all the children will be at such different levels the school will have more flexibility built in maybe. I’m not sure if that’s overly optimistic.

We’ve got a place for our youngest and we’re waiting on the secondary places but I’m fairly sure where they’ll be going. I’m fortunate that we’ve already lived there and know our work places too already.

Yes to the same shit different bucket! We have got everything out of being here and I think we are ready for a change of scene. But I will miss here, and I never would have predicted that! I’ve had periods of homesickness too and I’ve always felt a (albeit welcome) outsider. I didn’t know I’d developed any attachment to the area, but given my nerves atm maybe I have 😮

I’m quite excited about having a different school culture. It will be interesting to see how the British schools are different. They have a good reputation generally here.

I think preparing ourselves for reverse culture shock is probably a good idea too!

Did you manage to get school places without an address or do you already have one?

Ok starting out to-do list, the immediate things we need to figure out are all to do with our home here, think we’re going to keep it on and rent it out, found a property management company so now looking at all those odd jobs we’ve been fine living with but need to improve for renters

Then next week start calling LEA’s and schools to find out where has room for my DC and then sign up with home rental companies because there is NOTHING on Rightmove

Getting quotes from moving companies for our stuff and for our pets (getting them up to date with all their vaccinations!)

And I think we need to set aside full weekends to just start culling stuff....

I think we’ve decided to move next summer. Much as I desperately want to go back ASAP it just feels like a lot to sort out in 3 months and not being able to tour schools or areas is stressing me out - we can all move together this way as well as opposed to be apart from DH for 6 months. Maybe even look at doing some travelling between the two countries when we move. DS will be 13 so not entirely ideal but I think we can make it work

Hi kobani I am interested that you have decided to postpone until next summer. We are likely moving back to the U.K. from Australia this year. Like newstart I am nervous and not keen at all, we’ve only been away for 3 years and I would love to stay longer, but like others we have decided to move for schools as DS1 starts secondary school in the U.K. this September and it seemed like a good time for us. I am slightly in denial and wondering if we are crazy as life is pretty normal here as there is no covid in the community

I’m nervous because it means DS will be going into year 9 and that feels so old, I was just getting really anxious about sending him blind to a secondary school I’d never seen and it feels like there’s so much to get done in order for us to leave in 3 months.

I’m the opposite to you though - I’ve wanted to move home for years!

We brought our primary school age dc back from a non English speaking country.

We didn't get a tutor for a while, we should have done this much sooner. We found a fantastic one who made such a difference.

The culture shock was worse for the dc than moving out of the UK in the first place. Although much less for DH and I.

After a few years we had all settled but ended up leaving again post Brexit so our forever house wasn't so forever after all.

Hi . We have an address to move to but We just missed the school application deadline so we are making an in-year application even though they will be starting in September. Would you be able to visit The U.K. this summer to Check out the schools and areas? I agree that 3 months is a very short time and if you want it to be a permanent move then it’s probably worth investing another year of planning. We had a very good idea of where we wanted to be and we had friends who live nearby doing house viewings for us. we toured the houses and surrounding streets on zoom with them holding the camera 😳 I’ll start looking at tutors for a couple of weeks over the summer. I don’t want to pile pressure on the dc so I’m still unsure.

Yeah we have tickets booked anyway to visit in July so I’m going to make a short list of schools and start calling once the latest guidelines come out and see if we can tour when we’re there

That sounds like a good plan Kobani. It will be great to visit schools this year. Can I ask newstart have you been able to apply for schools from overseas? DS1 has a place at an independent school, but I need places for DS2 and 3 in our local primary if possible, although it is very oversubscribed.

I am preparing myself for reverse culture shock, but I would be interested in hearing more about it. I’m expecting the children to settle in quickly, but my youngest remembers nothing about the U.K. so we may have an experience like you, Ineedaneasteregg even though we are coming from an English speaking country and have not been here very long.

Is anyone else making huge lists all over the place and then losing them?! I think I need to get more organised!

All my lists are in my head!!!

When were your kids last in the U.K. @Thefourthcraw? I might be kidding myself about reverse culture shock, we spend a chunk of the summer in the U.K. every year and obviously this year they’ll know they’ll be moving back. But can’t prepare them for British children and teens really

I have been able to apple from overseas but my ‘official’ address is now in the UK where our new house is. I don’t want be too outing but we will have our lives split between here and UK for a few years as my DH is continuing on his current work projects for a few years yet. Our youngest will go to a school outside the mainstream system so has already been arranged.

I’m sure my children will have a culture shock and I’m worried they will not like it there 😔 they go home from school freely with friends and have lots our freedom here. I’ve read (on mn so may not be representative of course 😉) that parents arrange play meetings and time with friends. It will be very strange for them and I’m (secretly) worried they’ll get to 18 and move directly back here having resented their time ‘abroad’. Pathetic I know.

I hope I’m making the right decision. I’m sure I am but one factor is I’ve not visited for so long it seems like I’m not entirely sure what I’m signing up to. The last time I lived in the UK was years ago. I’ve visited of course, but you only see a place at its best when you’ve no commitments there I find.

We’re moving to be nearer family and because I think our dc will have a broader and deeper education opportunities in the UK. But mostly so they can be close to their wider family. The pandemic hasn’t made this decision but it’s been a real shove in this direction iyswim.

I’d add that I’m ready to jump in with both feet to the different culture. I’m very excited at the chance of a new start, new job, new surroundings etc. My reservations are only with the dc. I’m hoping that my enthusiasm will carry them on till they’ve made new friends and got into new activities etc.

None of us have set foot in the U.K. for 3 years @KobaniDaughters. We are moving back to our own house so won’t need to find a new place. I am going to call the LA, but I don’t think we can apply until we are living there.

Where you are now sounds idyllic @newstart1234, It’s been nice for my oldest to have more freedom in Oz as it feels very safe where we live. I don’t think it’s pathetic to worry about your children wanted to move back when whey are 18. Part of the reason we are moving back now is if we left it much longer we worry the kids would be settled for life.

How is it going @Twilightstarbright. Do you have a time frame to move? Have you made a good list yet?

@newstart1234 I feel the same, DH and I are quite excited about the fresh start (we will be moving to a new area and everything) but I am worried about DC and sometimes worry a lot that I’m being selfish making us all move. But this was never supposed to be a permanent emigration, I really do think they’ll get a better education in the U.K. and they have close relationships not just with family but with life long family friends and I think they’ll just really benefit from being able to see those people more regularly. I’m also feeling increasingly guilty about our carbon footprint and looking forward to committing to a few years of non-plane travel and getting to explore Europe again - getting our summer holidays back rather than spending them trekking across the U.K. for an annual visit to family

Ugh bugger now I really want us to just go this summer

Jumping on the thread, as we're in a similar position. Moved to the US 3 years ago with 2 DC, now 10 and 8. After a lonely start we're all very settled here now and I get sad and stressed at the thought of uprooting again. But it was never meant to be a permanent move, and I'd like to be closer to family and friends again. We rented out our house in London.
We'd be going back next summer and eldest DC entering into secondary in September. I spoke with the LEA and you can't make an application until you're back in the area. We could hope for a place at their old independent school but it's a world away from what they're used to here.
I need a crystal ball to help us decide what's best

We seem to be in quite a similar position @londontonyc. I checked the LEA website and got the same info. I am having lots of second thoughts today. DH is feeling really positive about the move and I am getting very cold feet. I just wish I could feel excited about London. I feel like we are up rooting the family for a poorer quality of life. I am also putting off telling my boss about the move, I feel like more people I tell the more real it becomes, I'd rather stay in denial for a while. We will decide on a move date this weekend, likely to be August.

Joining thread! We are 5 weeks away from relocating from Singapore back to the UK. I've been excited for ages but now I'm very nervous -we've only been 3 years but DS who is almost 6 can't remember the UK and DD and DS have only ever been to international school.
I'm sure it'll be okay but my nerves are jangling and I am going to miss Singers.