Anyone moved to the USA? Would you?

[Atla]

My husband and kids have Irish citizenship, I have British citizenship. DH works for a US company and has the opportunity to transfer his role to the US. It would mean a substantial salary increase and better opportunity for promotion. His job would be based in New Hampshire near Maine/Massachusetts border.

I'm a nurse but I feel like it would be a slog to get my state license to practise and appropriate visa but, as with all things, not impossible.

We are early 40's and have 3 small children - 8,7 & 4 - I have all sorts going around in my head and its very overwhelming - choosing where to base ourselves, finding schools, is it fair on kids, sorting out healthcare and insurance, very different tax/expenses, could I work? Would I want to (!).... are we too old?!

Has anyone done similar? How did it go? I dont even know what I'm asking really. I have previously lived in the states (to study) but over 20 years ago and in the mid-west, so very different area.

It would be a huge gamble and potentially a costly mistake but I am somehow up for it? It is an opportunity that has come a bit out of the blue although obviously isnt going to happen in the middle of covid so we have some time to consider. Wwyd?

sober I think MN just hates the US. 😬🤣

Your eldest is 8 - would it work to give yourselves 3 years? 2 to give yourselves chance to settle in, lose the "permanent holiday" feeling and see whether you like it. Then the last year you make the decision whether to stay or come back and start making plans, job hunting etc.

I probably wouldn't do the retraining for you within this period but see if you can get some info about what it would entail, contact hospitals, speak to current nurses there etc and then aim to start it within or after year 3 if you decide you want to stay.

As I understand it nursing in the US/Canada, and Australia is very different to nursing in other parts of the world, so you might want to take that into account. I live in another European country and have a couple of friends here who were nurses in the US and Aus and they both say they don't want to be a nurse here as it's such a different job.

We moved to Chicago for a bit. I agree that you need a massive salary boost to maintain an equivalent standard of living. Double sounds about right though.

Also agree that nursing is a very different job - but maybe in a good way - much higher pay and higher status too I think.

I've done it (a while ago, moved back to uk). Firstly that extra salary won't go far, everything costs more starting with your food shopping. Secondly check your visa type, our visa did not allow spouses to apply for work permits. Thirdly check the health cover arrangements, companies generally pay up to a certain premium per month, ours was not enough to cover all 4 of us so we had to pay some from salary, check the copay, deductible and company(ies) they use. What are schools like. Remember kindergarten doesn't start until after 5th birthday and some cities/states it's part time that year (so full time school starts in grade 1 at age 6). Private schools are plentiful in cities and vary dramatically in price. Finally how do you feel about religion? Half of Americans attend church and many will be pretty dismissive of those who don't, this varies obviously but in rural areas life revolves round church more.

All that said I loved it, we weren't on permanent visas nor on big money. Oh and finally tax arrangements are a bit of a nightmare because they will tax you on any income (eg rental income) earned in the U.K., be warned

I say go for it! That area is meant to be beautiful. You don't have to stay there forever - you only live once. Why not give it a go?

@Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow

sober I think MN just hates the US. 😬🤣

I don’t necessarily agree with you here. Maybe on some threads, but on moving threads people frequently come on to point out that the amazing salary they have been offered in the US, will not go far and could be quite a poor decision. It is often because of the cost of healthcare, which is just not an issue that many Europeans would even consider. But it can make a move to the US a bit of a shit option.

I would rather live in Saudi Arabia tbh the way USA is going.

@Immigrantsong

I would rather live in Saudi Arabia tbh the way USA is going.

Why?

I would go in a heartbeat. What is there to lose if you are going for such a short time? It’s now you need to do it, not later when they reach secondary school age. My ds went for six months as part of a school project( he was 16). He was so amazed by how the teachers spoke to their pupils «as if they liked them». ( We live in France - not much more needs saying 😒).

@PlanDeRaccordement

Oh, the state schools in the US are horrible, so factor in tuition for a fee paying school as well. Each State grades their schools andevery state says they have the best schools, but they do not. The curriculum is 1-2yrs behind what a European school teaches.

This is really not true. Florida is notorious for underfunding schools. Also the most common private schools here are Catholic and really not different from public schools in terms of curriculum. I do think special education provision has been excellent for mine.

Kids are a bit behind initially because they start later here, but the UK has a particularly early start (and it's argued whether that is developmentally appropriate). High school here is structured very differently and IMO there is more variation in quality and depth, but the good state schools here are excellent.

With cost of living there's a lot of factors. There is a lot more regional variation in the USA so it depends where you are moving. It also depends where in the UK you are coming from, since that will determine what you think is expensive for housing. I will say that I feel that COL has gone up a fair bit in the decade we've been here (housing particularly but also food) and the slide in the pound has made it feel more expensive (also makes American salaries feel bigger!) And of course you need to take into account health costs. We pay 20% of the total premium for all 5 of us (employer pays the rest) and our deductible (excess) is $1000 for everyone. But some companies pay half, some pay all, some have insurance with only a $250 deductible and some have ones with $6000. All of that needs to be accounted for when considering an offer and a family with children has to budget under the assumption that they will have medical costs.

We moved here earlier this year. It's really expensive! Utility bills, food, childcare, all significantly higher than in the UK. But there are some amazing places to visit and out kids are spending lots more time outdoors, hiking, swimming in rivers / lakes, seeing wildlife etc.. we are here for the experience and adventure and to experience life in a different country. But I miss many things about the UK.

I worked in a New York Hospital 20 years ago and absolutely loved it but I wouldn't do it now, altho New England is lovely.

We are in a similar position to you. We have 3 dc (7,4 and 3m), DH has been asked about a move to New York although we would live in NJ I think.

Make sure you check visas as at the moment there is a ban on L1 visas which may or may not be extended beyond 31st December. A backlog has been created meaning that getting appointments at the embassy to get the visas will have a long long waiting list. We are really torn on whether to go as we have fantastic schools where we are in London. We haven’t had the package figures through yet so really don’t know if it’s worthwhile but it’s finance so is likely to be good.

I am reeling in shock after finding out how everyday food in America has so many unhealthy, harmful chemical ingredients compared to the same food in the UK! The UK/Europe bans so many of the ingredients in common American food:

lifewithtisha.com/2017/01/24/uk-vs-usa-a-noticeable-difference-in-food-standards/

foodbabe.com/food-in-america-compared-to-the-u-k-why-is-it-so-different/

Having lived the expat life in the US since childhood, I grew up on (and have no choice but to still eat) this harmful rubbish! I have been seriously considering relocating to the UK (despite Brexit) in a few years, and this has enormously strengthened my wish to do so. (I mean, I knew about the chlorinated chicken, but Subway bread made with a banned ingredient that goes into plastic? Are you kidding?) I could not knowingly allow my own future children to ingest this poison!

Expats living in the USA or planning to do so:
What are your thoughts on this? How can you manage to watch your own children consume this nasty stuff? Do you not think health and food safety should outweigh the benefits that living in America brings?

Buy organic, at farmer’s markets and from local bakeries. Costs more of course.

@Star555 cook all your own food? We’re vegan anyway so rarely have anything that would be heavily processed

OP I would just think long and hard about long term repurcussions. I am normally the first person to say what do you have to lose, go for the adventure but if it’s an open ended contract you could find yourself in the position myself and huge majority (if not all) my expat friends here are in where rock star husband on a mega wage wants to stay and you have sacrificed your career and miss your people but can’t leave. We’ve just gone through couples counselling to work it out but it’s been really hard. Of course being on the east coast might be easier but covid has made me realise just how far away we are

Re schools and areas, it’s like anywhere, some are great some are shit, the country is huge. But it is fucking far from the rest of the world!

In my experience it's great to be middle class professionals in the US - quality of life is far higher than England. Just make sure you never slip down as it's much much crappier for the bottom half.

I was in NY where the differences are really stark and in your face and it made me feel a bit shit tbh. On the other hand I know I'll go back.

We chose not to do this a couple of years ago. It looked really great on paper, salary of about $200k, good company, headhunted DH. But I wouldn’t have been able to work on the visas offered, which while I didn’t mind, I think would have stung in the longer term. And the money really didn’t go as far as we thought once we had done all the sums. Lack of annual leave for DH meant that I would have basically been a SAHM, and that seeing family would be awkward. Any holiday we had would have been with them.

I was really up for it, quite excited and positive about it, but it didn’t make sense for us on paper. And then there is the whole fun thing. I couldn’t get my head around sending my kids to school in that environment.

Hope you find out what works for you!

Please don't read Food Babe. I'm not going to tell you that everything is peachy keen with American food (although for all the chlorine scares, my chicken is not chlorinated). Food Babe is notorious for her bad science. Use science based sources.

Also, the reason some fruit & veg here have ridiculous shelf life has nothing to do with preservatives. It's because they breed it specially for shelf life and not flavour (I strongly advise against buying Driscoll strawberries, they're even worse than polytunnel Elsantas). Remember it's a huge country with an enormous variety of climates so crops will rotate and can come from 3,000 miles away--a real issue when you live in the Northeast and so much is grown in California. This time of year I get a lot of my produce from farmers' markets and it is delicious. (I do miss thick double cream and clotted cream. I can get good quality farm cream, but there's simply no equivalent here to the thick kind.)

I do bake my own bread. I would never brag about UK supermarket white but most of the American stuff is even worse. There are fantastic bakeries some places, but we go through enough that it's just much cheaper for me to bake.

@GeorginaTheGiant

I wouldn’t consider it personally as long as Trump is in the White House. Even if he goes in November, it will take a generation to undo the damage his term has done to society, if it ever happens. I couldn’t like in a country where significant numbers of people think the way so many Americans do. Money isn’t everything, my soul would die out there.

Totally agree. I wouldn't have hesitated when Obama was in the White House but there are turbulent times ahead whichever way the election goes.

Currently living in Boston and love it here. Beautiful lakes for swimming in the summer and skiing at the weekends in the winter. It feels like a different type of cold to the UK...the damp in the Uk makes it feel very different plus the clothing for cold is more available. Don’t underestimate how expensive everything is, may be cheaper In NH. In Boston area, you will need at least a $200k salary to have a nice life. Sadly, we will be leaving in a few months and definitely not looking forward to returning to the UK. The outdoors lifestyle and passion for sport and just doing stuff is great.

Fruit and veg at Whole Foods is by far better quality/taste than most in Uk even if you do pay twice as much

@Wasabiprawns

Fruit and veg at Whole Foods is by far better quality/taste than most in Uk even if you do pay twice as much

We're in New England as well and have been getting a large portion of groceries from Whole Foods now after our nearby giant supermarket closed down. Do you mean US Whole Foods is better quality than UK Whole Foods, or US Whole Foods is better quality than UK Sainsbury's/Tesco?

Every thread you read on MN, even before Trump, says it's shit for the wife, expensive and lonely. Unless Dh gets huge huge salary increase to compensate for that, I can't see the appeal.
If it was Canada, I'd jump.

Veg from tesco/Sainsbury’s comparable supermarkets isn’t any better, and most of what I buy is grown in my state! Avocados though are amazing here