Anyone moved to the USA? Would you?

[Atla]

My husband and kids have Irish citizenship, I have British citizenship. DH works for a US company and has the opportunity to transfer his role to the US. It would mean a substantial salary increase and better opportunity for promotion. His job would be based in New Hampshire near Maine/Massachusetts border.

I'm a nurse but I feel like it would be a slog to get my state license to practise and appropriate visa but, as with all things, not impossible.

We are early 40's and have 3 small children - 8,7 & 4 - I have all sorts going around in my head and its very overwhelming - choosing where to base ourselves, finding schools, is it fair on kids, sorting out healthcare and insurance, very different tax/expenses, could I work? Would I want to (!).... are we too old?!

Has anyone done similar? How did it go? I dont even know what I'm asking really. I have previously lived in the states (to study) but over 20 years ago and in the mid-west, so very different area.

It would be a huge gamble and potentially a costly mistake but I am somehow up for it? It is an opportunity that has come a bit out of the blue although obviously isnt going to happen in the middle of covid so we have some time to consider. Wwyd?

I grew up in Boston and New England is a great area. New Hampshire's motto is : Live Free or Die - that will tell you something about their attitude to authority!
Health care will be included in your husband's package, but go over his offer carefully.
Is this a permanent move or a couple years then see? I think you should at least give it a go, give years and then take stock.
My parents moved there in the 70s when in their 40s with three children. Huge adjustment, but what a fantastic opportunity for you all.

I would go for a couple of years (my family spent a couple of years there) but there's no way I'd want my kids going to school there for any longer and definitely not high school.

DH took a 2 year secondment to Portsmouth NH in 2016. I went initially on a tourist visa but we got married after 6 months and I was then eligible for an L2 visa and I could work.

I absolutely loved the area. On the coast but also near to the mountains. We camped and hiked in summer and skied all winter. Boston is so easy to get to and is a fantastic city. We cut the secondment short by a few month (DH took a new role in the company) and I was so sad to leave.

I was quite surprised about the cost of living there. That’s one thing to look into and make sure you’ll be able to maintain your current standard of living. As with all relocations really think about the financial cost of moving and ensure it’s well covered. We were a little naive and accepted the first offer. With our second move we pushed back and asked for additional costs to be covered.

We didn’t have children then so I can’t comment on education. I imagine it’s a great area for primary ages. A real outdoor lifestyle and a lot of people are into healthy living. As teenagers it may be more limiting.

Feel free to ask any questions about the area and I’ll see if I can help.

@bakingdemon

I would go for a couple of years (my family spent a couple of years there) but there's no way I'd want my kids going to school there for any longer and definitely not high school.

My DH and SIL got world class high school education in Exeter, NH.

I was in similar situation 2 years ago. I almost said no but like you there was just something that made me want an adventure. Kids were 3 and 7 at the time.

It has been THE BEST experience of our life and I despite Trump and the chaos of 2020 I would do it all again in a heart beat.

Better quality of life, kids hav me WAY more freedom than we did back in the UK, we have far more disposable income and healthcare is through DH employer so we pay for it directly through wages and we have a great plan and receive services and care far beyond UK and NHS. Same for dental and vision.

We are on company sponsored visas and I can work.

My advice would be go for it!

My DH and I moved to the US about 4.5 yrs ago. Like you I'm a nurse but I had a 2yo & 6mo when we moved here and have had another since, and I would need to do quite a bit of college before I could do the NCLEX so I haven't bothered. We are lucky enough not to need the extra income.

We've really enjoyed it tbh. We live in California though so it's a long old slog with 3 small children back and forth for visits. If I lived on the east coast I would happily travel on my own with the children for a long weekend tbh. You get used to it. The children are happy here and two have started school. It's a lovely environment for them and the weather is great. We have our green cards now so have more flexibility re jobs. We will probably stay for another two years and then move home, there are things we miss about Europe and the lifestyle at home that we would like to have again. But I wouldn't knock it as an adventure! Your children are still young enough that they will settle well. No idea what it's like now relocating during Covid.
America is not as bad as everyone back home likes to think it is. It has massive flaws but it is also HUGE and full of millions of people which I think people have difficulty appreciating. One state can be day and night to the next state. For instance so when my parents bemoaned to me about the corona virus disaster unfolding in New York and what did I think about it I said "well you are as close to it as I am, it has nothing to do with California, or any other state for that matter". A lot of press abroad is given to Trump (who is unmistakably awful -do not misunderstand me) but what most people don't know is that the ones who are actually in charge of the day to day life of people are the Governors of each state.

I would absolutely consider the option, however make sure you are getting a good package, it's not a place you want to be scrimping to live.

I live in Chicago at the moment, coming up to 2 years here. Husband is here and we’re currently expecting first baby (woohoo!) The US is great if you’ve got money but I honestly don’t know how people survive without, especially without health insurance. The bills must be crippling, excuse the pun. Bear in mind, if you’re thinking of staying permanently you’ll likely have to start college funds for your kids now. I believe most families do this when their kids are born. It’s called a 529 fund and can only be spent on education (Sources: brother lives in NYC with 2 kids and 3rd on the way. I work in finance) College here is insanely expensive. We’re planning our exit now (husband Swedish so hopefully moving there).

I lived and worked in Massachusetts for 5 years in my 20s. Had an amazing time. Beautiful area. Great people. Summer on the beach, winter skiing... Go for it OP!

No idea if this will be any help but when Bill Bryson moved his family to the US for a while they lived in Hanover, NH (where Dartmouth College is). It does sound like one of the nicest - and prettiest - parts of the US. We lived on Long Island for 3 years in the 80s but never got up to New England, sadly.

A couple of extracts from the book here (UK edition is called Notes from a Big Country). It gives you a bit of the flavour, though the part about the USPS is rather sad given what’s going on atm

movies2.nytimes.com/books/first/b/bryson-stranger.html

Really check the numbers. New Hampshire is possibly less of a cultural shock than other states (Democrat, walkable towns, less self-sufficient gun-toting or evangelical types), but do not underestimate how different the culture is - more so than many European countries. The lack of obvious language barrier lulls you into a false sense of security.

Rent may be cheaper and salary higher, but once you add in healthcare costs for a family, likely needing two cars, sales tax, cost of less-processed food, and childcare and camp to cover the vacations, and cost of buying days off to supplement the very few allowed, the salary hike may not cover it. I've had a few friends move to California and Chicago on what looked like great salaries, then find they couldn't afford decent lives there.

The one cultural difference involves holidays. There is minimal annual leave and people don’t always take it. This means people don’t do two weeks of summer holidays etc. This is also why Thanksgiving is so important because it is the one guaranteed long break in the year. This is also why summer camps are such a big deal- the summer holidays are long and with both parents working FT you need the camps.

Yes, shorter holidays are a huge difference. It was a shock to me when I first moved here, but some companies have finally got the message that having breaks actually makes employees more productive! I’m self-employed now so set my own hours, but DH gets four weeks plus five floating days so closer to European expectations. Definitely ask about it though.

You say that it's a substantial salary increase but you need to be aware that the cost of living is much higher in the US. IMO your DH would need to be earning at least double what he does now just to maintain the same standards of living.

You also need to see what sort of health insurance his employer is providing and what the out of pocket expenses will be. The most recent insurance we had our excess was $10,000.

Thanks so much for all the replies, it is a lot of food for thought and it is very interesting to read other peoples experiences. We aren't considering an immediate/quick move - it would be in the next couple of years, so lots of time to consider/plan.

DH would get a family healthcare plan as part of his contract but we'd need to look into it really carefully, hidden expenses and cost of healthcare is probably my main concern, especially if I'm not working straight away. DH would be on a very good salary (well more than double current) but yes, it's an expensive area, high property taxes, and we would need 2 cars, potentially childcare for 3 kids, so it all adds up.

I lived in the states before for a year for college (20 years ago!) and agree totally with the pp who mentioned how culturally different it is - it was kind of a gradual culture shock as it is deceptively similar at first because of the common language but the longer I was there the more difference I could see. I was in the mid west then, so a different country to all intents and purposes!

We have moved to Midwest on L1/L2 visas.
We have been here three years and are planning on another 2 if visas continue to work out.
I would say you need about double the UK income as food and utilities are eye watering.
DC are happy here, I think if we told them we were going back to the UK one would be quite excited the other very sad.
Staying much longer term is a definite possibility but college fees are very high.

I find mumsnet to be fairly negative on moving to the US--we've been here a decade and while I miss the UK I think we're settled here and enjoy it. My DH gets decent holiday now that he's been at his company for over 5 years. I really hope we dump Trump (he'd love to destroy the whole country) but it is true that many people did not vote for him and his views dont' represent many Americans, especially in the Northeast.

New England is liberal (NH has a reputation for being more conservativebut this is by New England standards; it is not Alabama) and secular. You won't be too far from Boston which is a fantastic city, and there's plenty to do nearby alsobeaches (cold water though!), mountains for hiking and skiing, lakes for boating. And lobster rolls!

If you do qualify as a nurse, American nurse pay is good, and you have opportunities for further study (masters degree) which opens up advanced practice roles and even higher pay.

The education system is different but there are aspects to it I like--less pressure over school admissions (except in a few big cities, or expensive private schools) and now that I have one in high school I appreciate the flexibility of the curriculum.

New England gets cold in the winter, thoughif your house and heating aren't efficient you will cry when your fuel bill comes. Summers won't be as sticky-hot as further south thoughwe are near DC and this summer was bad, most days over 30 until the past few days and a lot over 35. Things are warming up though and I'd strongly consider having air conditioning, which is not always the norm that far north.

New Hampshire does not have state income tax but property tax (council tax) is quite high to compensate so if you are looking to buy a house, take that into account. (The owner is liable, so it's included if you're renting.)

TBH the Covid mess is what would put me off just now, though again--NH is the safest part of the country...

We moved aged 35 for husbands job, and we are pretty happy here but we are in a democratic state so the people I know are not the red necks portrayed in the media. We have a better quality of life, far higher incomes. School is great as we live in a nice neighborhood with far better spec Ed provision. We will have a very comfortable retirement far earlier than we would have had in the U.K. our home is larger detached and more fit what we would have spent in London.
Yes we would do it again.
Nurses in my state earn 70 to 130 k a year. Teachers earn 53 to 100 k.
Everything just pays more here but it is cheaper cost of living to London. Groceries are more.
Health insurance can run to 700to 1200 per family once your salary goes above 100 k do factor that in.

The biggest loss is proximity to family but as family members age and pass on that becomes less of a loss since they are gone.
If you are close to family think hard. It’s a big loss.
Trump will be out In November and the U.K. is just as screwed from covid but with more expensive housing, less space, less opportunities and Boris...

People damn America off the back of media coverage but the truth is you can have a very nice life here if you have professional jobs. I would be earning 35 k as a teacher in the U.K. here it is more like 80 k and that money/ it makes life easier and gives more choices and I’m grateful for it.
Go for it, unless your parents are going to need you as that’s really the only downside I see fit transplants.

I have been in the US a couple of years. I'd ensure that the visa allows you to also work, make sure you are happy with the compensation package and relocation package and go for it. Your kids will thank you for the life experience and you might find the change in lifestyle suits you in the long term.

Politics is volatile the world over. Don't take any notice of the negative comments about Trump. I have found Americans to be extremely welcoming.

We did to Florida with four DCs. It was a 4yr contract with all relocation to/from paid and that was perfect it meant we knew we were moving back to France. We enjoyed it as we lived in a house by the beach and saw many launches from Cape Canaveral. The school had a surfing team!
I don’t like very cold weather, so New Hampshire wouldn’t be where I’d choose to go, and I’d never agree to transfer to the US unless a return back home was part of the agreement.

Oh, the state schools in the US are horrible, so factor in tuition for a fee paying school as well. Each State grades their schools andevery state says they have the best schools, but they do not. The curriculum is 1-2yrs behind what a European school teaches.

I would dependent on DH’s salary being high enough and coping with the crap holidays! I think your political concerns will be less of an issue in NH.

What visa type would you be going on? Because while your post states you are aware a change in status could take a long time, I just wonder if you are fully prepared for how long it could take.

@PlanDeRaccordement

Oh, the state schools in the US are horrible, so factor in tuition for a fee paying school as well. Each State grades their schools andevery state says they have the best schools, but they do not. The curriculum is 1-2yrs behind what a European school teaches.

This is not true. Districts are paid by direct taxes so in high tax areas the schools are pretty outstanding (think exchange visits to China, own ice rinks, 2:20 ratio) I do not agree with the system, but your post is very erroneous.

Oh I see you were in Florida, I think that will colour your views. It is NOTHING like Florida in the Northeast.

I left the UK 13 years ago, not to live in the US. I find Mumsnet to be pretty negative about moving anywhere overseas. No country is without its issues or problems.

The thought of living in the UK right now fills me with horror! We love living overseas.

First hand reviews from people who actually live there are what I would base my Decision on.