Dilemma, UK or USA?

[admylin]

Nothing is sure yet but dh has got an interview in London next week and one for a job in Texas but the interview isn't 'til December.Both places sound as if they want him.

I'm in Germany and can't wait to get away, infact could pack tomorrow so I don't really care where dh goes to work as long as it's an English speaking country. Somehow I think life might be nicer in Texas as compared to London. What do you think? I just seem to read so much negative, stressfull stuff about London (especially about schooling) and cost of living. I bet we couldn't afford to rent more than a tiny flat in London. Just thought I'd ask on here as I can't sleep thinking about it - I really really want out of here but why does London not appeal to me?

London is great if you are either young and single, or filthy rich.

I am barely coping here, if it wasnt for my husbands job... grrrr

You do get biting ants in Dallas though - I know because I au paired for a year and one of my charges jumped into an ant hill, came running to me screaming and I brushed them off him, all over my bare legs (was wearing shorts and sandals). It did get quite cold in winter though - we did have frosts but not snow - it is quite dry.

SSSandy, I know, I will gladly go to either place really and teh dc are very happy about the chance.
Dh's interview went well, he got back last night at midnight. They said they would be able to reconsider the salary and at least match what he is on now. Would still mean tightening the belt abit though as everything would be more expensive. Berlin is SOOOO cheap.
Problem is now, we habve to wait and see ifthey actually offer him the position then he will have to try and get himself over to Dallas as soon as possible because the employer over there had planend to meet him in Spain in December. That would be too late to give London a yes or no.
Please, please, please let one of them work out for us. It would be just the right tim eto move the dc so they can catch up nicely at school before the real serious learning starts.

bozza , ewww, I hate all things creepy and crawly. I would have to have a fully and tightly screened and sealed off air conditioned house so I would feel safe!

really hope it works out for the best admylin. Good luck!

I personally don't find London scary to live in. Like anywhere else, you just have to choose your area (and have a think about schools before you choose, IYSWIM). And there are so many fantastic things to do in central London.
Housing is pricey though.

pooka , I don't think I would be so scared about living in London, I think the worst and most stressfull part would be getting the right neighbourhood with teh school fairly near by. It is so hard to guess just on one or two visits if you are going to feel good in a certain area. I think we would go into guest house type accomodation and take our time but we wouldn'thave that much time due to schooling. Not looking forward to that part.
To top it all dh's present boss has been and offered him a 5 year great job contract at a new stroke center being established in Berlin which would be great for his career if he was in it from the start but I want out of Germany, if he goes for that job we'll be having hard times ahead.

I'm really glad there are such positive signs, admylin- hope you get to somewhere you like very soon

how does he feel about turning down the job offer here in Berlin admylin?

Thanks Tamum, wish Edinburgh had worked out, I really fancied living there and it wouldn't have been far to get to my family.

SSSandy, dh is torn as to which way to go, he wants a permenant job and to get rid of all these 1, 3 or 5 year contract things which don't give you much security. Never going to get a house bought on those contracts if the bank has anything to do with it how ever much they pay.

At the moment we're chilling and waiting to hear from the London job and depending on teh answer we'll panic then because dh will have to get himself over to Dallas to check that one out and get the definate offer to compare. His boss here really wants him to stay.

my friends found the usa more expensive than they thought eg health care, schools, some weird tax on the house they bought - really do your research on the sums first

i think you need to do some holidays and see what both are like

one thing about working in london is that you can live outside and commute in if y ou have concerns about city life eg windsor, st albans, essex etc etc

personally id chose london over texas as i hate that driving everywhere mentality, bush, the oil industry - it would really annoy me being there!

newgirl, good point. All those things get on my nerves too. We have never been to America so have only the idealized TV show, Hollywood movie image of it all. Of course I know it isn't like that but still doesn't help me to imagine what it would really be like.
Dh on the other hand, dreams of his jeep or pick up and loves the driving door to door mentality.He is totally against tube or train every day for an hour each way meaning living in London as near to centre as possibly affordable.

oh yes I got bitten by those ants

Oh the decisions!

I am painfully familiar with many components of your scenario...

You have my heartfelt sympathy.

We lived in London with 3 children for four years (having been there for one year with one baby) and we LOVED most of our experience and hated some. It was very, very pricey but we made it work and DH was a full time student.

If you choose London (or it chooses you) I would be very happy to recommend some amazing places to look at living as well as 2 good schools that we really, really miss.

(We are currently in Vienna, Austria so I know how you feel about the school and language issues.) Our options are Geneva (sure thing--starts November 5) or New York City (possibly in the New Year).

Are you leaning more towards Geneva or New York Cadmum?

Cadmum , one of the interviewers on the panel at dh's interview in London was an American professor from New York and he told dh not to even contemplate his home city, that London was a great place with loads of oppertunities and New York is all a myth!
Geneva would be great, French is easier than German! Thanks for the offer about London. If he gets it I'll need all the help I can get!

SSSandy2: DH (with his marvelous sense of humour) has pointed out that they are both in the same direction...

It would take me a week to explain the complicated story and this isn't my thread but I would be happy with either. The biggest heartache is that it didn't happen before school went back in because DS1 is having a fabulous year after a really awful one last year so I am sad to think of moving him at all...FIGURES! I feel about as passionate about leaving this place as admylin is about leaving Berlin otherwise.

We lived in New York for 5 months (DD2 was born there 19 months ago). We were all shocked to find that we loved it there. The children were alive in the big city. It was very much like London for them after a quiet year in Canada...

I would love to help with any questions you have about moving to London.

I remember Cadmum, the international school in Vienna... SO glad to hear things have improved.

I'm so happy for you both that you'll be moving on to somewhere that suits you both better maybe.

I'm also that I'm not.

admylin, I wonder whether schools in Dallas or in London would be best for your dc.

Either way it will not be a cushy move, you will have a hard time getting set-up and sorting everything out but it might give the whole family a real postive boost.

Berlin will still be here. When will this stroke centre be finished? Perhaps if after a year, you all regretted the move, dh could even return and take up that post.

I moved to the us and found it to be exactly like it is on tv! I couldn't believe it. We have just moved back here and I think it has possibly been a bad decision. I can't say enough about how much I loved the US. If you get the chance to go there, take it. Even if it's only short term it will be a great experience. American 'culture' is just so entertaining. You will not believe some of the things you will see! The people are much nicer, I don't live in London, but I object to no longer being able to take my kids to the local park without having to avoid endless dog poop, watch for broken glass and having to listen to teenagers swearing and attempting to break the playground equipment.

The weather is a big part of your decision - I find I am so miserable after waking up to blue skies on most days and now all we see is grey (or gray if you're being american) skies. Don't underestimate how important the weather is when you have young children - having an outdoor lifestyle is hard to give up. 100 degrees is hot but with air con and outdoor pools you'll get used to it. If you decide to go I'll give you my top mosquito repelling tips! And you can spray to keep the ants away.

Your biggest problem will not be deciding whether to go there but how long you want to stay - I guarantee you won't want to come back.

Can you tell I've fallen out of love with UK?????

I've lived in new york and london and would choose london any day. We live right in the centre, which is not necessarily more expensive than further out, we've just compromised on space and a garden. The US taught us that you can live in a flat (apartment) with children. We have a fantastic multi-cultural state primary school. We walk or take the bus everywhere, which takes alot of the stress away and DH can walk to work. We are surrounded by parks and fantastic museums. My kids are obsessed with the terracotta warriors since we went to see them after school the other day.

I love it here and would only consider moving to another big world city now! Oh yes, and I hated the heat in NY - with children it was dreadful in the summer - only really came out in the evening.

tinpot, have you got any hope of going back? It sounds great from what you wrote. I wonder how easy it is to stay though, I suppose the visa requirements are quite strict and if you come to the end of a contract -how long would you have to find something else.
That is the easy thing about Europe, neither of us has to worry about visa or permits but in the US it would be a worry.

Spatz, please please tell me which are that is in LOndon so I can add it to my list!!
Dh would be working in Hammersmith (at the hospital doing research) so I have no idea aboutthat area or what the housing is like. We've always lived in a flat here but the dc's dream is to have stairs and a front and back door like all the relatives in the UK.

I have lived in London and, separately, worked for a Dallas based company, which involved going there for 2.5 weeks for company training. So, haven't lived there, but worked there with the people, etc for a little time.

I wouldn't live in London with my dd. I very consciously made the decision to move out before we had children. For me, I love visiting, but London is not fun to do every day and it is hideously expensive.

My experience of Dallas was that it is hugely right wing, which I found difficult. The people are so welcoming, however, and very positive about everything (complete lack of cynicsm - great, and irony - not so great). Many of the Dallas men I met were quite sexist, but very gallant also. I also met some lovely Dallas men, however, so am not tarring them all with the same brush!

If I had the choice, I'd live in surburbs of London and enjoy the leafyness and the opportunity of being able to get into the city if/when you want, combined with much better schools, etc.