Quick! Please tell me why I shouldn't pack my bags and dd and fly back to the UK

[SSSandy2]

OK seriously fed up with the school situation and everything here and wondering if I shouldn't just call it a day and pack up and leave.

You KNOW the feeling.

So, quick, please tell me all the bad things about living in the UK with children and about the schools and things there.

oh dear that doesn't good Anna but thanks for telling me! She wasn't the one with dc at the College Voltaire was she? (Please say no, it's another one because I'm looking at a house near there).

I would love to have just ONE posting on MN with no words missing. Why is it I always skip something?

No I don't think so (but am not completely up to date). Anyway, we're going to try to see each other this week or next and I'll pump her for information and post to you here. She's very fussy about education and does her research properly, so her opinion is worth listening to.

I know the education system is basically crap here. I don't know, Germans place a lot of value on education so why the schools aren't good (primary at least) eludes me. There isn't much learning going on in kindergarten either.

is the part Iranian family you mentioned that had dc at a private French school here?

Yes, my friend is half Afghan half Iranian, her husband is German. But the little girls speak French as their first language.

My parents have very good friends in Munich (my sister and I went to school with their children in Luxembourg) and those friends say that their grandchildren in Germany don't get a very good education, and that their grandchildren in Luxembourg (same school we went to) get a much better education. What is it with Germany?

hmm I was hoping that French school would be my last resort but if they found that unsatisfactory too, well doesn't leave me with much. I'd be interested to hear what your friend has to say Anna,if you two do meet up.

My father's suggestion was to put her in a school outside of Germany, not really all that feasible I don't think. I would not place a 7 year old in boarding school

the good thing about the crap education system is that with all the worrying, I can now fit into a skirt I used to wear before I got pregnant

That is the only good thing I can find in it though

You sound so glum
How's dd getting on at the school?

SSSandy2 - are there no IB schools in Berlin?

My sister had her children in an IB school in Madrid (ICS) and now in Amsterdam. She likes the IB curriculum and is happy with the Amsterdam school. Obviously there are potential issues of student turnover, but the curriculum and end-product examination are excellent

How strange. In the UK, many people like to to go on about how much better German schools are, usually citing the late starting age.

You've been unhappy with the school for a while haven't you?

You know the things that people grumble about regarding UK schools. Take a look at any education thread. But sometimes I think people can deal with certain disadvantages/problems better than others. Does that make sense? If you feel you can negotiate a system then its problems aren't so great. If a school can't deal with bullying then it's no good in my opinion. Doesn't matter what country it's in. It's just crap.

Good luck. I hope you find an answer.

SSandy - I've just emailed you.

Have you given me the correct email address?

Lilian thanks for trying to mail me. I'm really sorry, it wasn't the correct address. Should have "de" on the end :
iskrennii at yahoo dot de

Sorry to be so thick! Maybe I was thinking: ooh I'm not really here after all!

Thanks NKF. I hope so too, plodding on with it at the moment.

Ah fink, I was feeling pretty glum to be honest. EXTREMELY glum in fact. In fact I had a humdinger of a row with dh about the whole thing, I think I was totally stressed out with it and living off caffeine and nerves. Need a bit more Zen I think.

Anna, there is an international school outside of Berlin in Brandenburg, I think in Teltow, which follows the IB programme. I couldn't realistically get there for 8 in the mornings unless we moved to be very close to it. I don't want to actually move outside the boundaries of Berlin though because I was warned you get problems with secondary schools etc since you are no longer in the Berlin State system but in the Brandenburg state system. Don't think I quite followed all the intricacies of the issue, other than that it isn't a good idea.

We might have to do that, move close to the border in the south. I don't know if it is a good school or a nice school. No idea really. It's an expensive school though, know that much! We are house hunting all over Berlin at the moment. If we do end up down there, I will have to try that IB school, if we end up "up north", I will try the French one. This is if I have not spontaneously combusted by then.

I was dreaming last night that dh took up a position in Malaysia. That was one good dream. If only...

If I were as stressed as you are and as you say, your dh is not helping... then I'm not surprised you had a row Did it wake him up at all? The ds1 saga last year really woke mine up.
Have you tried turning the problem around? May not work for long but I find at the least it buys you a respite from having the same thoughts grind themselves into your mind day & night. Meaning: instead of looking at the school and its failings in what it doesn't offer dd, you turn it around to what she does get out of it. Focus on that for a few days - may help battle the helplessness.
I wrote and deleted a longer post to you yesterday. Deleted as I wrote that tho ds2 in now in Y3 and on the treadmill of tests & the dreaded first Noten, his teacher does put a lot of effort into ensuring there's some project/group work & they do have Art stuff all over the walls. At the parents' evening I was so impressed with the work she'd done (none of the others do as much) to create a friendly atmosphere with pictures and rewards systems. The curriculum is the same as ds1 had 2 yrs ago but she's so full of energy and so kind to the children that I'm daily relieved we have her & try & focus on that rather than seething at the relentless cycle of dictation/maths test/science test/essay...all of these in the last 2 weeks
Ds2 is such a sensitive soul - gets upset & goes into his shell if the teachers are the sour lemon-sucking faced variety and school, in partic Y3 & Y4 would be hell for him with one of those.
I also find resding threads in Primary reminds me that if we were in England, school wouldn't necessarily be rosy.
How is dd? And what's happening on the house front? Thinking of you - e-mail if you'd rather

SSSandy2 - my sister's IB school in Amsterdam has a school bus that picks her children up from the front door and delivers them back. My sister didn't want to live near the school (she wanted a nicer area) and the bus system is great, albeit expensive. What about the Berlin IB school? Maybe it does buses too?

bumping
How's life up in Berlin? We have 2 weeks half-term starting this weekend - and Weds this week is a holiday.
Would rather have less now and a week's hol in the spring and summer terms where there's no half-term at all but 2 weeks off will be v welcome.
How's your dd getting on?

Thanks Anna and fink, sorry I haven't replied earlier. I've had and still have such a horrible bug (week 3 of it at the moment) insert feeling intensely sorry for myself and begging for sympathy emoticon!

Oh fink, you are so sweet and positive! Yes dd does like her English teacher a lot more than the one she had. She is young and positive, speaks nicely to the dc and does have nice ideas. She uses the British national curriculum and teaches English style which dd is MUCH happier with. She is happier with the atmosphere in class and amongst the dc. However, I can't relax with the academic side of it being so poor. I don't understand how they can be at school from 8-4 since the end of August and they are on page TWO of their maths book. Page two. I mean WHAT do they do there for those 8 hours?!

I just can't believe that a capital city in one of the weathliest European nations has NO really good school. (Maybe the French private as Lilian says). At least one would be nice. I think there are a few with interesting approaches but none where I would unreservedly say, thank heaven she got in there and I KNOW she'll have a good chance of developping well as a person and academically.

Would someone please open up a school like that? Very soon please... Geekgirl?

Anna , yes the IB International in Brandenburg has a bus service but I am not happy with the academic achievement there. It is so frustrating in that respect. I can get her into an English language international if that's what I want but I cannot ensure academic success or even nice behaviour unfortunately. I haven't liked what I have seen and heard.

The state schools here don't have a programme to move along talented dc. They do have something to help struggling dc but those who in the UK would be G&T just get the same work as everyone else - and are bored.

Spoke to a very depressed Persian dm about this today. Her son was tested and has an exceptionally high IQ. They don't have G&T here, but you can get dc tested privately to see if they are "hochbegabt". It doesn't help you much since there is no school here in Berlin to cater to those dc and she has been going mad with it. Her ds is bored out of his brain at school all day.

Lillian, thanks so much for your mail. I've lost my voice! But I'll call you when I get it back, hopefully soon!