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Original poster

Help! DS in trouble in Canada. Any words of advice?

185 replies

DUTI · 11/05/2019 19:24

He's been an idiot. He knows it. He doesn't deny it.

He went out last night and got so drunk that he thought it would be a good idea to drive home. The Police spotted him and have done him for driving under the influence.

Is there anything he can do to mitigate things? He drives for a living so losing his licence is bad news.
Anybody got any wise words on the best way to approach this in Canada?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 12/05/2019 20:31

You are determined to think the worst of him MrsTP

As I said in a PP, I went through the immigration process in Canada. It was arduous and you have to behave impeccably, better than a born Canadian. I have sympathy for refugees, asylum seekers and immigrants without privilege. I have none for someone in Canada as a guest who chooses to endanger the lives of the people around him. And you appear to have very little feeling if you think I'm being harsh.

You said he was there as a tourist. That means no working. If he's on a working visa he's not a tourist. The rules are very different and I should know. I couldn't work when I was on a tourist visa. So he's either not on a tourist visa or he's working illegally.

buttertoasty · 12/05/2019 20:36

Let him deal with it himself. You are foolish if you believe this is the first time as well, it's probably the first time he has gotten caught.

PCohle · 12/05/2019 20:39

Canada has working holiday visas ("international experience Canada") that last up to 24 months. That's apparent from a very quick google.

It seems unnecessary to keep insinuating that OP is lying or that her DS has been working illegally.

www.cic.gc.ca/english/work/iec/eligibility.asp

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/05/2019 20:52

That's an open work permit. Not a tourist visa.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/05/2019 20:53

And they aren't easy to get.

sar302 · 12/05/2019 20:59

Just to say that letting him know how horrifically fucking stupid he has been, and continuing to support him, are not mutually exclusive as a parent. I would hope my parents would continue to support me, almost no matter what I did. Almost. But I'd expect them to give me the absolute bollocking of all bollockings at the same time.

PCohle · 12/05/2019 21:21

One of the three options for an "International Experience Canada" visa, which provides young people with the opportunity to work and travel in Canada, is "working holiday" - this grants the holder an open work permit. The OP described her son as having a "2 year touristy visa". That sounds fairly accurate to me.

Why are you so determined to believe the OP is lying?

Original poster
DUTI · 12/05/2019 21:26

That's an open work permit. Not a tourist visa.
If you read my post I said a "touristy" visa. As a short-hand. Because, would you believe, getting the name of his visa precisely right isn't top of my priority list at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
DUTI · 12/05/2019 21:28

Thanks PCohle. I'm glad somebody gets it.

OP posts:
CaptainMarvelDanvers · 12/05/2019 21:31

You mentioned it wasn’t his car but instead a Boris Bike type situation. Was he riding a cycle?

Passthecherrycoke · 12/05/2019 21:32

I don’t know why anyone even cares about his visa. It’s irrelevant to the thread

RedRiverShore · 12/05/2019 21:35

Was it a cycle or a car he was driving?

Original poster
DUTI · 12/05/2019 21:38

You mentioned it wasn’t his car but instead a Boris Bike type situation.
I meant one of those short-term hire schemes, like Boris Bikes. It's for cars and called Car2Go.

OP posts:
Halo84 · 12/05/2019 21:40

@MrsTerryPratchett

While largely irrelevant to the thread, you are wrong about the difficulty of obtaining any form of work visa. Everywhere I go, I meet people here on work visas. In Banff, every hotel has foreign workers. The vast majority of them are either from the U.K. or Australia.

QuilliamCakespeare · 12/05/2019 21:42

I have boys and can fully appreciate that as teenagers and young adults they will probably do stupid things. However, drink driving is inexcusable. It'll be a hard life lesson for your DS but better then he learns it now when no one has been hurt.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 12/05/2019 21:44

Aside from other stuff he needs to speak to Cars2Go and get the vehicle out of the pound. I’m sure they’ll charge him too.

Tons of designated driver services here. Or he could have got a cab. Too expensive? Not now it isn’t.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/05/2019 21:48

Because, would you believe, getting the name of his visa precisely right isn't top of my priority list at the moment.

It is actually relevant because they can't refuse to let people in in certain cases. But I'm done because you seem happy to get shitty with me, when it's your son criminally endangering people and your concern is whether he's able to carry on with no consequences.

I'm out.

Clutterbugsmum · 12/05/2019 21:49

Whatever way you try and spin it, your son decided to drive while drunk. The best thing you can do is tell him is to pay the fine and take any other consequences and stop wasting time looking for mitigating circumstances because there are none.

And if they don't let back in to Canada after returning from the UK it will be a massive learning curve to not be an idiot.

I'm shocked that you as a parent are trying to excuse him. Why the hell aren't you telling him that you are disappointed with him as he knows better then to drink drive whatever country he in.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 12/05/2019 21:50

He might want to look at this: www.cbsa-asfc.gc.ca/security-securite/rem-ren-eng.html

Original poster
DUTI · 12/05/2019 21:52

DS had just parked up when the police approached him. They decided that since the car wasn't his there wasn't much point in towing and impounding it.

OP posts:
MooseBeTimeForSnow · 12/05/2019 21:54

If they can revoke PR for first time offenders I’m sorry to say he’s likely to be on a flight home soon. www.immigration.ca/canadian-permanent-residents-face-deportation-for-first-time-impaired-driving-conviction-dui

IvanaPee · 12/05/2019 21:56

My god.

Your poor little diddums who’s feeling so sorry for himself and worrying about being allowed back into Canada could have fucking killed someone.

He could be a murderer right now. And he doesn’t need mummy being cross with him?

He’s not a silly kid who made a silly mistake. He’s a scumbag who made a decision that could have ruined lives.

Stellar job, OP. 🙄

MaybeitsMaybelline · 12/05/2019 22:06

My DS is 24, I wonder what I would do in the same situation.

I would read him the riot act, tell him he has completely fucked up and what on earth does he think I can do to put this right. my recommendation to him would be, pack your bags mate, looks like you’re coming home.

And if you lose your girlfriend and your job prospects in Canada still think yourself very very very,cute,y you didn’t lose your life or that of someone else.

Seriously, OP, you can’t get him out of this and you need to stop making excuses. Drink driving is not a mistake, he knew he had been drinking and he knew he shouldn’t drive. But he did, because he thought he would get away with it it.

But he didn’t.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 12/05/2019 22:13

How long has he been there? Does he have a BC licence or does he still have his UK licence and an IDP?