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Original poster

UK vs USA was your life better in UK or USA

191 replies

Cupcakeicecream · 20/10/2018 12:26

Just out of curiosity really. For those who have lived in either country which did you prefer and why. I'm trying to weigh up the pros and cons. Eventually want to be living in the USA. It's always been a dream. I want to give my child a better quality of life and I feel that USA is better suited. I feel that there are more opportunities. But of course health care costs and gun laws put me off slightly.

OP posts:
JosellaPlayton · 29/10/2018 23:01

My apologises, of course it’s the bodega !!

Want2bSupermum · 30/10/2018 12:19

It's funny I have a bodega around the corner from me, two blocks north, another 3 blocks south and a supermarket 3 blocks behind me. The bodega around the corner from me delivers, I just call them up and have the cash for them when they arrive.

sadsadsady · 30/10/2018 12:50

What on Earth is a bodega?!!!

Stupomax · 30/10/2018 13:45

I'm sure people who live in rural parts of England don't have the same burglary rates either, hence why they don't lock their doors

My parents live miles down a dirt track in rural England but still obsessively lock their doors, their car, everything. They really struggle with the fact that we just don't bother. I'm not in a particularly rural area either - I'm in a small town.

I'm not in a city and the nearest subway is over 100 miles away but we still walk and bike about the place loads. And yes, we'd walk to the nearby store for milk in the evening.

Frankly it's unamerican of us and the guard dogs should be set on us - if anyone can find any. There is a yappy Scottie a couple of doors down, or the elderly Lab next door... perhaps they'd do?

SenecaFalls · 30/10/2018 13:50

A bodega is a small grocery store, run by Spanish-speaking owners and usually offering quite a few Latin American foodstuffs, among other convenience store type items.

OlennasWimple · 30/10/2018 14:03

If I had had my family in the US with me, I would never have left

I'd rather be poor in the UK than in the US, but the opportunities to lift yourself out of poverty in the US are much more than in the UK (because of how the benefits systems work in each place(

sadsadsady · 30/10/2018 14:07

Ahhhh. There's none of those in Maine. 

So is it just Latin American?

Could my local shops in London be called Bodegas? They were all Turkish/Greek and sold lots of Mediterranean items.

What about Indian? Are there names for these stores?

I want a bodega now. Doesn't even have to be South American. Just selling some exciting food stuffs!

Want2bSupermum · 30/10/2018 14:18

Bodega is a corner shop. Just as in England we say 'DH can you go to the corner shop, in short of milk' we swap corner shop for bodega. Same thing.

sadsadsady · 30/10/2018 14:20

It sounds so much better than 'the shop with the good baclava' or 'the shop with the okra that isn't too big.' 

ErrolTheDragon · 30/10/2018 14:20

I lived I. Pennsylvania for a couple of years. It was ok but.... I like to walk. You pretty much had to go to a state park to do that, or the mall when it was too darned hot or too darned cold. It was lovely to get back to northern England with all our public footpaths and 'right to roam'.

But if I'd gone from some British cities to other parts of the US I'd have got a different relative impression, I expect.

SenecaFalls · 30/10/2018 14:21

In my town, we only call it a bodega if it is Latin American oriented. Otherwise, we call it a convenience store.

OlennasWimple · 30/10/2018 14:39

"7/11" seems to have become a generic "convenience store that is open long hours" term as well

SenecaFalls · 30/10/2018 15:08

Yes, 7-Eleven has become a generic term. Also where I live in the south, jiffy store is sometimes used. I think there used to be a chain of convenience stores called Jiffy.

choli · 30/10/2018 16:44

It took me a while to get used to calling the off license a "package store".

spamm · 30/10/2018 17:16

I live in the US (after Africa, Italy, Switzerland and the UK). I have called each of them my home for different reasons, but I love the US. We live in a suburb of DC in Virginia, and we have great schools, great walking trails, nice neighbors and ridiculous traffic.

From the UK, I miss:

  • The right to roam - Americans think they are free, but they have no idea! The right to roam just blows their mind
  • Decent pubs
  • Marmite (I know I can get it here, but it is expensive)
  • Good trains
  • A variety of Newspapers (although that has changed in the years I have been gone)
  • Access to decent Rugby season tickets
  • my husband and my son miss Ginster Pasties

I can get the other stuff - BBC Radio 4, the Archers, BBC TV, Rugby on TV, decent chocolate, great varieties of gin.And I learnt to make good mince pies and sausage rolls....

What I love about the US:

  • Less moaning and more optimism
  • Access to decent support in school for my son's autism - by law
  • Good dentists
  • A better relationship with healthcare workers
  • My family (we moved to be closer to them, which helps)
  • the multicultural aspects in school, and just all around us (I live close to DC - so I know that cannot be said for everywhere)

What I have found more difficult in the US:

  • Supermarkets were in the stone age when we got here, but have improved incredibly in the last 9 years
  • The weather is just crazy - the intensity of it is something I have never encountered elsewhere
  • The link to religion - we do not belong to a church, and I know some people judge us for that. I don't care, but it is strange.
  • The need to create new words - when perfectly good English words exist already
  • The strange relationship with race - we have much more open conversations in the UK about race and we have to skirt around things in the US or approach them so carefully

We have been in the US for over 9 years, and I love living here. We have made some amazing friends that have big world views and have traveled extensively. The idea that Americans are small-minded is not fair, just a bad generalization.(Have you been to Switzerland?). My son was born in the UK but considers himself American (although he is very international, he just does not realize it). When we go back to the UK, we have all the nostalgia of going to the "old country", but we are relieved to get home.

choli · 30/10/2018 17:30

The link to religion - we do not belong to a church, and I know some people judge us for that. I don't care, but it is strange.

I have found that this is regional - I have never been asked "where I worship" in Boston or New York, but coworkers who moved to South Carolina tell me that it is a question that they are asked. However, I also hear that many many social activities are centered around your church, from Halloween parties to general "social" events like barbecues, camping trips, volunteering, charity work, etc. So I think that a part of the community that some emigrants feel is missing can be related to not having a "church family". I manage without one myself Smile

Almondio · 30/10/2018 19:41

I lost count of the number of times we were asked which church we belonged to when we lived in a southern US state. It was really odd to us.

And it was also a place where many people would drive less than a minute...that's ONE minute...to take their kids daily to the drive-through school drop off. I regularly got drivers stopping when I was walking to the supermarket (less than half a mile) asking me if my car had broken down, if I needed a ride. Very kind offer but no thanks, just walking...they didn't understand.

SenecaFalls · 30/10/2018 20:24

Access to decent support in school for my son's autism - by law

I have only lived in the UK as a student, and I realize that is a very different experience from day-to-day life (I loved it so much that I considered staying), but, based on what I know from MN and other sources, I was much better off as the parent of a child with special educational needs in the US.

SenecaFalls · 30/10/2018 20:26

Also, I want to add that I live in the Deep South, and I know lots of people who don't go to church, and I haven't been asked about my religious affiliation or lack thereof in a long time.

Stupomax · 30/10/2018 20:50

I've never once been asked where I worship, slightly disappointingly. It would be so much fun to answer.

Want2bSupermum · 30/10/2018 20:58

SNs education here is miles ahead of the UK. Eating disorders are much lower here because the Mh services available in schools is excellent. The schools are on top of pastoral care of their DC because the law requires them to be.

We haven't move back because I couldn't coordinate the care and education of my elder two DC who have high functioning autism.

sadsadsady · 30/10/2018 21:28

My brother is a very very low functioning autistic man and his care and provision in the UK is appalling.

OlennasWimple · 31/10/2018 15:02

I'd concur (from second hand experience, admittedly) with the SN support in schools. I wonder how much of that is a function of having larger schools, so it becomes feasible to provide proper on-site support? My DC's US school had over 1000 students, their UK school had barely 300

On religion, I was never asked where I worshipped but did occasionally consider that it would have been easier to make friends if we frequented a church or synagogue, given how important they are socially (and indeed in the provision of afterschool care options, nurseries etc). We were invited along to services, but no-one was offended if we politely declined

SenecaFalls · 31/10/2018 15:47

I wonder how much of that is a function of having larger schools, so it becomes feasible to provide proper on-site support?

I'm not sure about this. My son's high school was fairly large (around 700), but I have two nieces who are special education teachers in (separate) small schools in another state. I also have another niece who is an American Sign Language interpreter in a mid-sized school in yet another state. I think it is in large part due to legal protections and procedural avenues to pursue those rights if denied or if found to be inadequate.

spamm · 31/10/2018 17:31

I have not been asked where we worship, but the lack of link soon becomes obvious. For example, we are free for brunch early on Sundays (= no Church). And my son does not go to "Serve Camp" in the summers - to do service in communities that are supported by churches. His best friend (13 years old) was working in North Carolina this summer helping rebuild homes and working on repainting a church. And as you say: church picnics, Trunk or Treat for Halloween, etc...

On the Special Education Support - it makes a difference to my son's life everyday that he is protected by an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) and we can demand action when we need it. I try not to behave like that - I appreciate the partnership with the school - but we have those protections in place when we need them. He has a dedicated Case Worker in the school and he is also placed in classes with 2 teachers where possible (only 2 which are advanced classes do not have that option), so he has the extra help. He also has accommodations that we can work to have in place all through High School. I do not know the UK system well, but friends in the UK with similar issues do not get the same support.