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Living overseas

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UK vs USA was your life better in UK or USA

191 replies

Cupcakeicecream · 20/10/2018 12:26

Just out of curiosity really. For those who have lived in either country which did you prefer and why. I'm trying to weigh up the pros and cons. Eventually want to be living in the USA. It's always been a dream. I want to give my child a better quality of life and I feel that USA is better suited. I feel that there are more opportunities. But of course health care costs and gun laws put me off slightly.

OP posts:
ragged · 27/10/2018 19:11

We're 5 minutes drive from our nearest neighbours. ... class of 5-10

Those things right there would be my idea of hell.

So, er, plates, what is your health insurance like?

dontalltalkatonce · 27/10/2018 20:19

And today, 8 people were shot in a Jewish temple in the US, where a couple of days ago someone sent a load of package bombs to people.

RedneckStumpy · 27/10/2018 20:22

dontalltalkatonce

Horrible events happen in the UK too.

Besides the news reports I have seen state that bombs were not real.

dontalltalkatonce · 27/10/2018 20:23

Yes, but oddly enough, not to the same extent that mass shootings occur in the US and certainly not the same level of school shootings.

RedneckStumpy · 27/10/2018 20:26

dontalltalkatonce

That is true, but I would still say that life is much better and much safer here in the USA. Here I don’t have to lock my car or my house.

dontalltalkatonce · 27/10/2018 20:28

That is true, but I would still say that life is much better and much safer here in the USA. Here I don’t have to lock my car or my house.

I wouldn't call a place where kids get shot at school safe, but to each his own.

RedneckStumpy · 27/10/2018 20:32

Fair enough, it has been mentioned up thread that gun violence grouped in certain geographic location, and is not widespread

LittleMy77 · 27/10/2018 22:19

But gun violence is widespread - its spread out certainly, but its not aimed at specific communities, nor is it (as often misconstrued) a 'black on black' issue.

Most of the school / college shootings, the mass shooting in Vegas, the texan church, at the army bases etc were all random acts of terrorism committed by white males against people going about their everyday business. They're not gang related, and most of it is random and linked to either mental health issues, domestic violence revenge type attacks or (like today in Pittsburgh) idealist shooters in the name of politics.

The worst for me was the Newtown CT shooting in 2012, where 28 people were killed, 20 of which were 6 / 7 year olds. The area is 'naice' and its not something you ever think would happen. Same goes for movie theater shootings, concert venues etc.

SputnikBear · 27/10/2018 22:42

In the US your lifestyle depends greatly on your job. You need to have a good salary with decent holidays and good health insurance. A crappy job will make your life utterly miserable. Losing your job is disastrous. Whereas in the UK you’re more insulated from the effects of having a crappy job because everyone has NHS healthcare and 4-5 weeks holiday.

noodlezoodle · 27/10/2018 22:50

We moved from the suburbs in Berkshire to the middle of a city in California and I've never been happier. This sounds ridiculous but the weather has made a huge difference to my happiness - I don't get SAD anymore and I don't dread winter. We still have shorter days but see some sunshine most days, and yesterday I had lunch sat outside in 70 degree weather.

Ironically the city we live in is astronomically expensive so we downsized from a house to a 1-bed apartment, but our lifestyle is still much better. Where we live is very walkable so we don't bother having a car, we use public transport or Zipcar as needed.

I get very homesick for family and friends but not for anything else. I travel back to England a couple of times a year and I'm always struck by how grumpy people in general are compared to in the US. No plans to move back unless we have to for family reasons.

choli · 28/10/2018 08:33

noodlezoodle yes, it's remarkable what a difference the sun can make to mental health. It's impossible to explain to someone who has not experienced it.

RedneckStumpy · 28/10/2018 11:23

LittleMy77

Do you live in the UK or USA?

platesandflowers · 28/10/2018 11:48

Honestly, I'm so so much happier here. It can be bloody cold but it's sunny so much more. Our summers are like the long, hot always sunny summers when I was a kid.

Dh says the coolest he's ever felt is in the UK when it's cold and damp, it gets it to your bones in the Uk in a way it doesn't in Maine.

Trills · 28/10/2018 12:13

We're 5 minutes drive from our nearest neighbours. ... class of 5-10

Those things right there would be my idea of hell.

My idea of hell too.

Which is why it's important not just to say which you prefer, but what kinds of things you like/dislike.

Kescilly · 28/10/2018 12:23

I do miss people being more open, friendlier, more enthusiastic. Bit too much grumbling for me here but I suppose I’ll become like that eventually too. I definitely find UK winters harder than those I’ve experienced in the US.

platesandflowers · 28/10/2018 12:32

I lived in London for most of my life so I'm more than happy to live out in the sticks.

platesandflowers · 28/10/2018 12:34

Half the battle with winter in the UK is that a lot of people just don't dress properly!

When I moved to the States Dh promptly bought me a new coat and new boots.

The Norwegian saying 'there's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes' is so true!

Kescilly · 28/10/2018 12:43

It’s not the cold that does it for me, it’s the short days and months of grey. I miss the sun.

breakfastpizza · 28/10/2018 13:33

I'm dual and have lived/worked on both sides:

  • Your job and income will be the defining factor in quality of life in the US.
  • Which state you live in will also have an impact.
  • Housing is generally better in the US.
  • Food used to be cheap. I've found it increasing in recent years.
  • I've personally found that Americans work harder/put longer hours. In the UK, everyone thinks I'm a workaholic for putting in the same.
  • You can pretty much be fired for any reason in the US at any time. Very few protections.
  • Unless you have a great job, far fewer holidays and slim to none sick pay. They do have 'personal days' but it varies greatly.
  • I lived in Chicago for a while, which has horrific gun crime stats. I never worried about being shot because (as per a PP) it's mostly gang/drug related.
  • VERY narrow POV on world affairs. The US is still king of the world in most of their minds.
  • Americans are much friendlier and easy to make friends with.
  • University costs are insane. My co-worker's kid just graduated with $200k of debt for a degree that will get her a job in the $50-$80k max range. Student loans are not forgivable in the US, even if you go bankrupt.
  • Class is much more blurred over there. I'm friends with a billionaire and people on the breadline and it's not uncommon to mix.

My biggest concern about the US is what's going to happen in the next ten years. Divisive politics abound, but also the gap between the haves and the have nots is becoming staggering. Until you've lived without the safety nets the UK provides, you don't appreciate how amazing it is.

Stupomax · 28/10/2018 15:08

I think you've summed it up pretty well there overall breakfastpizza.

My oldest is applying to college at the moment and it's pretty eye-opening looking at what you could end up spending. I've said she can have $xx from us per year, she has $xx in savings, then the rest of it will come down to a combination of what she can get in merit aid/scholarships and what kind of debt she's willing to have when she graduates.

She really doesn't want to graduate in a lot of debt so she may well end up turning down offers for colleges that she'd otherwise take, simply because somewhere else offers her more merit aid. Ironically the top colleges (if she can get in) will be the cheapest for her, other than our state university which has offered her a free ride but she doesn't want to go to.

It is a minefield and I can see how kids get sucked into taking out loans after being sold on a beautiful university that promises the world.

Stupomax · 28/10/2018 15:11

When I moved to the States Dh promptly bought me a new coat and new boots.

Yes :-)

I just got my kids ready for winter. New LLBean boots for DS, new down jacket for DD, make sure everyone has ski gloves and some good thick fleecy gloves. Mine won't be seen dead in ski pants other than when actually skiing, but I quite happily wear mine when I'm walking the dog (or rather snowshoeing with the dog).

platesandflowers · 28/10/2018 15:25

I'm currently swapping all of the Summer/winter stuff and realising that none of ds's stuff from last year will fit. Fuuuuuuck winter is expensive here!

Massively pissed that his Patagonia snow pants we took a small mortgage out for won't fit this year even though I sized up.

Ugh. That is a down side to living here. The winter gear expense!

I'm glaring at my snowshoes and wanting to run over them with my car.

Aimeeee · 28/10/2018 15:29

We lived a few years in the Pacific NW and much prefer it back home in the UK. For me anyhow ..... the weather was awful (rain 9 months, heat 3 months), food wasn't great and cost a lot if you wanted good quality, education was pretty poor, people drove everywhere and there was little sense of history or belonging to a town (we were in the suburbs though). The people were really friendly and welcoming and we made some good friends. A fair few locals didn't know much about the world outside the USA and believed the UK was quite backwards and we were lucky to have "made it" to the USA (very strange as we found them quite old-fashioned). Children don't get much independence there as they're not generally allowed out without parents until they can drive (at 15) because of the fear of crime (which was much worse than at home).

LittleMy77 · 28/10/2018 16:09

plates I live in the US, why?