I Hate London

[JamSandwiches45]

We've been here as a family for three years now. We moved from Auckland, New Zealand. I can't be the only expat that spends every day regretting the decision?!

Apart from the shopping and the proximity to Europe/US for holidays, I can't think of one thing that's better here than we had at home. The place is a filthy ghetto! The general attitude/reluctance for people to actually put in a hard days work is astounding. I won't even mention the schools, are DH is a supply teacher and the stories I hear are beyond me.. I fear for his safety daily.

I miss my house on the beach! Time to pack it in and go home I think.

Hard days work... be a permanent teacher in London and try to not do a hard days work. Impossible. Myself and my colleague run ourselves into the ground. We work until midnight most nights and most weekends. The children are not bad though. I love working in London (although I commute and live in a village). London has a rich history, beautiful parks and a vibrant culture. Maybe shop less and try something different?

Having lived abroad in several different countries, it seems clear to me that the OP has got stuck in that negative expat spiral where everything about the host country is bad and everything about home is good. I've seen it loads of times, in lots of different places - in my experience, it has far more to do with the individual and their situation than with the actual location. There will almost certainly be expats in NZ trapped in exactly the same cycle.

The thing that always puzzled me was why people in that negative spiral didn't just get up and go home - I met some who had been living like that for decades. I can only assume that some people are in their comfort zone when they have something external to blame for whatever is going wrong in their lives - perhaps, deep down, they know that they wouldn't be happy at home either, but it's easier to maintain the fantasy of what life would be like back at home, instead of confronting the rather uncomfortable truth.

OP, if you're really unhappy here, you have the power to change things. London isn't perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but NZ probably isn't either. If you want to go home, go home. If you decide to stay, then make a decision to focus on the positives.

I think the attitude of the people who are from London to OP are a good example of the challenges of the place!

Instead of saying "Oh that's a shame, have you tried this and this to make it more enjoyable" or "Yeah not for everyone, I love it but couldn't live someone quieter, I'd be bored", there are people launching in and suggesting "Get on a plane and leave then".

That attitude is one of the reasons I hate the place! So many incredibly rude people and a superior attitude. I know there are many lovely people too, but unfortunately they are drowned out by the unpleasant and anonymous nature of the place.

OP, move:)

Piss off back to NZ then. Quite frankly if you don't want to be here, I for one would rather you weren't.

That's odd, I lived in Auckland for four years (Londoner here) and was shocked by the homelessness there when I first arrived - far worse than London IMO. I saw several men eating out of bins. Also, my experience was that most people exited the office at 5.01pm (and my office and DH's office "shut down" at 3pm on a Friday). A huge number of people take the whole of January off - we used to laugh about it.

That being said, and slowness and quietness aside, I really enjoyed the lifestyle in Auckland. But you can get to fuck with your comments about London being a ghetto. You know where the airport is!

It sounds like London is a terrible fit for you. I don't know why you thought it would be a good idea. I've spent time in nz and it's beautiful. Auckland is a great city in some ways but not somewhere I could ever live personally. However if I did find myself there I would not be incredibly rude about it on a website full of nz people. You may criticise shop workers here but you might want to take a long hard look at yourself and your manners.

@obviousNC101 Oh, another one of those 'friendly' Londoners I hear so much about.

It’s a fairly dangerous place to live op yes.
Crime has worsened in recent months too

It all depends where you live.

My area (tiny tiny north London area tucked away down a few lanes) has very very little crime. We can leave our door open and not get burgled (probably because no one can find the place.) You are just as likely to see horses and oxen going down the road as a car.
However Public transport is non existent and I have lived here 20 years and only know my neighbours surname because we occassionly get a package that hasn't been delivered to their address and there are no shops. If you want anything you have to drive.

If you came to London expecting beaches and bushland then you must be very disappointed.

How does your dh feel about the place.

What about your dc. How has everyone else fitted in.

You have to remember that London is a huge place and just because one area is dirty and feels like a ghetto another place a few miles away will resemble countryside.

If you don't like your particular bit then there are other bits you might like.

I saw the other day a girl walking in a London Street sporting a blue mohican and dressed in leather and chains. Nobody batted an eyelid. I can't see how you are stranger looking that people stare at you

My old boyfriend from NZ hated Aucklanders. I suspect you're familiar with the acronym. But he lives there now and learned to love the people and place with a bit of humility.

Calling a place a filthy ghetto is pretty offensive if you're unfamiliar with the etymology, not to mention, it's rude.

Every city has its pros and cons (and I've lived in several, including in NZ). For me, London is the most vibrant, culturally diverse and accepting of others.

@JamSandwiches45

I'm with you here:) Stay strong:)

"Dang, you colonisers are taking everything! Oh, but derogatory language wasn't an issue when you were stealing our land and giving us smallpox infected blankets, right?'

Um, lived here 25 years and never met a coloniser yet. If that's how you see Londoners, course you're not gonna make many friends.

I think the attitude of the people who are from London to OP are a good example of the challenges of the place!
I think if the op had come on with a less aggressive attitude and asked for suggestions of good things to do she would have had a more friendly response.

JamSandwiches45

Your post makes me very sad. There are many Polynesian people living in the UK and many of them are happy and well integrated - I have many friends amongst these. My advice to anyone so unhappy living in a foreign country is either return home or move somewhere else you feel you would be happier. Life's far too short to be so very bitter and miserable. I've had many positive experiences of expat life - I've lived in New Zealand, including Auckland), but my experiences of the country were far from positive so I chose to leave - it really is that simple.

@CluelessMummy I can 'get to fuck'? Ok.. Not sure where you got the idea offices shut at 5pm.. DH worked until past 10 as a teacher and was in on weekends too. Or where you're seeing these vast amounts of homeless, in the thousands was it?

More to the point, you can't be 'racist' to whites.

I am very surprised to hear that your OH can't get supply teacher work anywhere apart from London or Birmingham. They're crying out for decent ones everywhere!

Anyways, comparing NZ and London is like comparing apples and oranges and being surprised they're different. I'm sorry you're not happy here but your language is deliberately inflammatory. Don't be surprised when people therefore get defensive. I'm sure it would be much the same if I went on a predominantly NZ forum and called it a "ghetto" and that everyone was "lazy/workshy" etc etc.
Perhaps this moan would be better suited to an expat forum?

I'm an expat. I've lived in London for 10 years now. It honestly took me until about year 5 to really like it. It is dirty. It is dangerous. People are on the whole less friendly here than anywhere else we have lived. It took years to form a solid social circle. Customer service is shocking. But It has buckets of free cultural things to do. We make a fairly good salary. I think it would be fairly miserable to be not very well off in London.

@pinkdelight Oh jfc. You benefit from a system that was built on the destruction of my whakapapa. You have our decapitated heads in your museums and won't return them, evidence enough?

I think if the op had come on with a less aggressive attitude and asked for suggestions of good things to do she would have had a more friendly response.

I think she wasn't aggressive at all and she clearly made fair points!

Nice weather we are having.

i live in Scotland but visit London regularly for work and to vist my sister.
I am constantly staggered by the friendliness I encounter compared to here. Cabbies, rail workers, shop assistants and the various people I stop to ask for directions are all so friendly and helpful. I love being called darlin', mate and love (sorry feminists) and the diversity is amazing, again compared to here.
I can't comment on what it would be like to live there, other than my sister has been there 20 years and enjoys it, but if you haven't found a single friendly shop assitant then may I suggest the problem is yours?

@JamSandwiches45

What about Edinburgh?

Beautiful countryside, clear air, gorgeous cities with space, much higher standard of living, incredibly warm, friendly and welcoming people.

@LuMarie Haven't been up yet, but have only heard great things. Friends seem to be enjoying it, so could be an option.

So you've tried London and that's it? The UK is a pretty large place.

I wouldn't live in London if you paid me. There are other places in the UK that is nothing like the place.

What fair points LuMarie?

Jam, can you spend some time exploring other U.K. Options? If you like nature and the beach, London IS going to be shite. I love London but it's partly the thing she you've mentioned that I love - e.g. I LOVE no one talking to me in shops and not really being 'noticed'. The anonymity of a city is fab. I'm living in a rural area now and I actually hate how friendly it is.

I hope you can find a solution - but maybe a compromise?