Tell me again why did we emigrate?!

[WS12]

Ergh, I'm just having another one of those days where I think "why did we emigrate?!".

Thinking about how I left everything I loved in the UK to come here - my job, my family, my beautiful niece, my friends and my social life... everything I loved about life. Why are we living here again? I spend my time planning trips home and saving up to get there. Why don't we just live there?

I don't think Facebook helps. I saw a friend sharing pictures from ladies day and I thought, I'd have gone to that. Instead I'm here missing everyone wishing I was there. I don't think social media helps at all...

Does anyone else relate?

I do.

I’m not even fromthe UK and when I see pics of original people enjoying countryside visits, beer festivals and pub lunches I get very 😫. Not to mention all those cheap flights into Europe.

Where did you emigrate to?

We're in Australia now, its gorgeous where we live, but it's not England.

Yes I love English summer time and all things British!! I find I can't even watch a programme based in the Uk without feeling 😫

Yes! We’ve done two years and I feel the same as you. I don’t feel as though I am making the most of life when I don’t have family and friends around to share it with. Therefore it feels pointless sometimes.

My mum emigrated to Perth - I felt she just fell off the planet for me. She lived there 15 years before she died early at 65, I feel a bit robbed to be frank - hated visiting too yes beautiful sunshine and beaches but no soul

@Emms86 ❤️ Thank you for replying this is exactly how I'm feeling today. It's really weird but I actually feel like I've struggled to make memories in the last few years because my family don't share them?? Does that make sense?? We k my have limited shared memories, the rest is Facetime and phone calls.

We are coming up two years very shortly. I've had two massive periods of nearly returning home, I'm hoping this doesn't become the third.

It's so hard some days to find ways to reaffirm our decision, some days it's just like why are we here?? I have said this to my husband who said he understands my thinking. I don't know how to overcome it at times.

@flumpybear aw that's really sad 😢 Yes I think "robbed" is a good word. I feel robbed of what I could have in the UK, of the things we could be doing in the UK. And what am I being robbed for? Yes I do like life here, but is it enough to give up everything I mentioned ? I just don't know some days...

Have you made friends where you are? Have you got involved in the community? Have you started building a life? It makes a huge difference.

Step away from Facebook for a while. The fastest way to homesickness is to focus on what you are missing out at home.

Instead of planning trips back to the U.K., plan trips within Australia or the region, make time do things you could never do in the U.K.

Find a sports team to follow, visit the local parks/restaurants/museums etc until
you find your favourites, go to outdoor theatre or cultural events which are specifically Australian.

Expat friends are nice but find some Australian friends and get involved in the community if you haven’t already.

I remember how hard it was when we moved to the US but in my experience, the people who settle best are those that really, really make an effort to get out there.

@copperbonnet yes I have made some friends and I feel like finally my life is taking shape. I have a mix of expat and Aus friends as well as Italian and New Zealander so there is a few people like myself who have left family.

I think you're right for me to step away from Facebook. As you say it's the quickest route to home sickness to see what I'm missing out on.

Funnily enough we have just returned from a regional holiday. It made me feel homesick as it was cold rainy and very green just like England 😂 honestly I'm not making it up. I struggle in winter here as it's so much like back home. Maybe we need a trip up north that'd be great and very Australian!

You’re always going to feel worst about your decision at winter/summer solstice, right? I think you’re just a bit sad because winter in Australia is always going to be hard, with Facebook pics of seashores and holidays from UK mates.

Can you get to the Aussie snowfields from where you are? Create some of your own ‘envy pics’!! We went to a winter solstice bonfire night yesterday. Very fun indeed. Mulled wine, lanterns for kids, food trucks and great music!

I do understand how it feels WS it’s hard to be so far away.

I consciously stepped away from FB for a while and I only contact my friends back home about once a month. We do a FaceTime or sit and WhatsApp back and forth for an hour or so while we catch up.

We do weekly FTs with the grandparents to keep them happy

More than that can be too much.

Meanwhile we’ve joined in as much with the local community as we can and are trying very hard to make the most of life in a very different climate.

We’re also travelling through as much of North America as we can, going to visit all the interesting little places that you’d never get to as a British tourist.

I'm a life-long immigrant and am happy where I am, but why do you resist going back to the UK to live?

Personally I hate having half the people I love on one side of the world and half of them on the other side. If I were to move back now I'm just spend all my time missing my friends here.

And I think that if I had my time over again I would have saved myself that heartache by not immigrating.

I understand, although I "emigrated" back to my country of origin, the UK. But considering my family left when I was five, and I'm alone and I have had to start everything with completely new lies not knowing anybody or anything. It's been really hard. It's getting easier as time goes on, but when it's a rainy day in July and I see pictures of my friends and Vietnam at the pool, or my family on the Fourth of July, or other things, I get really upset. And homesick. I spent the first years of adulthood in Southeast Asia and I know so many people there, I speak the local language, and I was in a rule area rural area, totally different. I am moved back here because of visa issues, the regulations kept becoming tighter and tighter and I had a lot of bad luck in 2014. But I have a hard time when people ask me in the UK, why am I living in the UK. It's understandable but I don't like it. And I don't like having to explain why over and over. And I don't have a British accent, even when I try to have one, the American accent still comes through. Some people ask me where am I from.

I moved to Spain and suck it out for five years, never belonging and never feeling ‘at home’ even in my own house. Coming back to the UK was the best decision I ever made.

Life's too short, return home and be with your loved ones before more time passes you by.

I feel like my life is at a bit of a standstill whereas back in England parents are getting older, siblings and friends are carrying on with their lives and nieces and nephews are growing up and hitting new milestones that I miss. We live in a beautiful area, in North America with great weather but I find myself wondering whether I’m missing out on the best/last years with parents, family and friends, if that makes sense.
I do agree with the Facebook thing, it definitely doesn’t help to see peoples unrealistically happy family photos 😆
It would be very hard for us to move back to England now, a bad decision career wise for my husband who doesn’t feel the same way as me about England. I would also feel terribly guilty uprooting my children again. So I’m in a no win situation which is definitely not helping my homesickness!

I think you are looking at the U.K. with rose tinted glasses.

The U.K. s in the middle of a major political crisis and is facing the start if a major economic crisis.

It’s easy to look at what you had, remember all the good things (even worse w FB that gives younthay ever so curated look at peole’s life) and forget about all the issues. The ones you had when you were living there (after all there IS a reason why you emigrated) and the ones you are probably not quite aware about (the current political and economical issues for example)

I say this as a long term ‘immigrant’ (I’ve spent more time living abroad than in my ‘home’ country). How you remember/miss about ‘home’ is rarely the reality.

Also worth remembering that people will look at your beautiful photos in Australia and be just as jealous as you are.
Thinking they are missing on xxx and yyy and how lucky you are to have moved there.

Tough for those left behind.
My family have been left devastated by emigration- despite the brave faces.

What were your reasons for emigrating?

Are there strong reasons that you should stay?

It might be that returning is a good idea

I’ve lived abroad many times, and we are just about to move again in the summer for a few years. The first time we moved I was really surprised how much I missed home. I love England so I will always come home but for me it was more that my parents and family are here. I want them to be part of my children’s lives. Having family around is more important to me than living somewhere with nice weather.
I would take a break from fb too though, I used to feel sure people only put photos etc on to make me jealous!!!

Shutityoutart I agree.

I get homesick and I live in the UK....seeing all the posts of my hometown are lovely....then a quick trip up north reminds me why I moved away x Maybe take a fb break....you must of moved for a reason.

I miss Australia having lived in the UK for more than 10 years now. I’ve made friends and have a life here but I’d like to move back.

Thanks for your replies everyone. Yes I think a Facebook break is a good idea for me.

We moved as my DH is Australian and he missed home. I do like the life out here, we're off to a church event now so this should be nice. It's just hard feeling miserable.. I think SAD gets me more here. And it doesn't help it's summer back home!

I find when dreaded homesickness strikes, it really takes hold. I was extremely happy in the UK but once homesickness kicked in, it was like I’m never going to be happy until I go back to Australia. Such a strong irrational emotion that refuses to go away. I was lucky that I didn’t have family left behind to miss. As for friends, so many people return home and find their friends have moved on or hardly see them. For me the biggie is the memories, now both parents have passed and wanting to return to that familiar lifestyle. I’m moving back to Australia both excited and nervous to what extent I will miss the Uk. DH isn’t close to family, so it will be interesting to see if, years down the track, memories start calling him home or if he will be content with just visting.