Tell me again why did we emigrate?!

[WS12]

Ergh, I'm just having another one of those days where I think "why did we emigrate?!".

Thinking about how I left everything I loved in the UK to come here - my job, my family, my beautiful niece, my friends and my social life... everything I loved about life. Why are we living here again? I spend my time planning trips home and saving up to get there. Why don't we just live there?

I don't think Facebook helps. I saw a friend sharing pictures from ladies day and I thought, I'd have gone to that. Instead I'm here missing everyone wishing I was there. I don't think social media helps at all...

Does anyone else relate?

@User17890 I wish you good luck in your move! I agree that the emotion is unbelievably strong and can at times take over my entire thinking, when I wake up in the middle of the night BOOM it's there! It's very difficult to handle... but I seem to have "attacks" of homesickness or bouts of it, and it passes only to rear it's ugly head a few months down the line 🙄

I really think it is a work in progress and will always be there. A friend here has been in Aus 7 years and still has attacks of the home sickness, it might never go really. I spoke to the doctor about how I was feeling and she said they called it separation anxiety like in a child, it's more complex and serious than people think. But she gave me some good copying strategies which are helping me to cope on the hard days.

I find that it isn't just people I miss like family or friends, but I miss the physical look of the place - the streets, houses, countryside- when I see it on the TV something inside just comes alive and I know it's "home", it gives me the happies I guess just to see it! The buzz of a sunny day or snowy day... the feel of a busy Saturday afternoon shopping... the culture is so different here.

I do worry though if we moved back we would regret it. The life style we have and the opportunities etc. I worry we'd go back and I'll realise that I couldn't see how good we had it because I was blinded by home sickness. Yes we'd pick up the pieces and enjoy life again, but would there always be "what if we stayed there?" In our minds? Most likely, either way...

And also I do worry that in 20 years time our dual citizen children will come to live in Aus! And they will do to me what I did to my parents.. and by then it will be too late as 50 year olds to start a new life down under.. we might be in the U.K. And our children in Aus...

Thank you WS12 :)

It does feel like separation aniexty.

For me, I wouldn’t be moving back to Australia, if we were just going to move back to where I lived before I came to the UK, as I didn’t like it that much and I know I have a much nicer lifestyle in the area I’m living now. So it was important that we moved to an area in Australia, that was an improvement on the lifestyle that we already have. Or really what is the point?

I totally get what you mean about the countryside. We live in the countryside and it was bliss until homesickness set in. I love the villages, I love country pubs, I love English summer ( just wish it was longer), Autumn is my favourite , you can keep the snow lol. We were once looking to move and we couldn’t see past other country villages. I look back and think, we were trying to get into retirement living years before our time. Once we came out of the loved up stage, we realised just how much we loved being outdoors and out of the house doing stuff. So we need nicer weather! We isolated ourselves from meeting people living in this area, and there isn’t a lot of activities where we are. London is not for us. I’m also being strongly drawn wanting to be near the water a lot and being closer to the city for lots of activities hence moving to Sydney. I also went through a big change in the type of houses I like. I used to always love Victorian and older style houses as well as antiques etc. Now, I want everything modern, maybe due to my new minimalist attitude. We also struggled to find land to build a house and that is something we eventually want to do as well as as I prefer Aussie house styles and have a preference for detached homes.

So things can change! All you can do is think of what lifestyle you want right now and which country will offer it to you and if it matches what your DH is after. It could be just a matter of moving somewhere else in Australia? I did look at other areas of the UK, but the areas I loved were all hoilday type places lol, so not easy to get work, lots of traffic and not cheap!

I have also thought will our future kids grow up and leave us for the UK. Though with the internet and being able to talk to people all over the world. They could end up moving to the US or Asia. You just never know what they will do. All you can do is maintain a close relationship to them and hope they don’t want to stray far from home lol.

WS12 I feel for you. We actually came back from Australia a few years ago but are now considering 'ping-ponging' back.

I know exactly how you feel about dual citizen children moving back to Aus - but as a friend of ours said 'if you are in Australia they will want to come to the UK, if you are in the UK they will want to go to Australia'. You do have to just do what is best for your family now as anything can happen in future.

I, like you really love certain aspects of the UK - the long summer evenings, the green countryside, proper villages etc. But since coming back we also realise how much of Australia we loved - the lifestyle, being outdoors so much more, the coffee. And with two young school aged children in tow we can't take advantage of being close to Europe like we could beforehand. I think unfortunately once you live somewhere else there will always be the 'what if' question.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I've been in the UK 10 years and am moving home to Aus in the next few months.

I knew it was time when I started to feel proper jealousy of my friends who had family around them. I'm so looking forward to my dc hanging out with my parents, sister and wider family.

I hated my first 5 summers in the UK because it made me so much more homesick. Dh is Irish and he struggled with the winters in Aus and homesickness.

I've told dh our return to Aus isn't forever. I just need to go home now which he gets and is supportive of. I think we may end of retiring in the south of Spain if the dc return here!

Where are you in Oz? I have been in WA for nearly 5 years and it does get better over time. I agree massively that Facebook is the killer of joy - all those trips you miss and seeing your friends having a great time 😣 I am seriously considering unfollowing them for a bit as it does get you down and certainly doesnt help when its cold and miserable here.

Did you just say 'cold and miserable' referring to winter in WA 😮😂