Moving back to Germany in a month- Help!

[peacelikeariver]

So after 20 years in London I'm packing up my family and taking them home. Well, my home, they have never lived there. This is not a fancy move, just a normal job, no relocation package. Thankfully I have a very capable SIL who has been very helpful.
I have found a job and with child benefit we will have enough to live on while DH learns German. We have a flat. The kids are excited. All good.
Now comes the stress of actually moving!
Any tips? I have not lived in Germany for 20 years, never been an 'adult' there, so all the bureaucracy is a bit alien to me.
I have opened a bank account online.
Have applied for Krankenversicherung.
School is not problem, kindergarten we have to sort out once we get there.
As I understand it we will get tax ID numbers once we register there?
Is it true I need a letter confirming we have cancelled child benefit here to apply for it there?
Any tips and experience of relocating to Germany greatly appreciated!

Many thanks for replies and link! Apols for delay - start of Easter holidays here in Ireland always hectic. First night am free to start the deep German research in earnest....

www.schulranzen-berlin.de/scout-schulranzen/sonderangebote-sonderangebote

Hi OP
Don't know if you have a boy or girl but by going on the discontinued lines I picked up a 5 part echte Scout for 100€ (the Swan true love design at the bottom).
Which Bundesland/town are you moving to?
Do not forget to join your local mietverein when you move. With legal insurance, it can come into its own.

You will need a "letter of cessation" from UK Child benefit: Apply for Kindergeld straight away as they will only backdate a couple of months. On Toytown Starshollow or John can get you a decent deal on Haftpflichtversicherung. Panda munich is an expert on tax and benefits. Your husband will probably find learning German at the local Bildungszentrum is cheaper than Berlitz, Inlingua etc language schools and often if enrolled on an intensive German course the BZ has free childcare if your youngest is not in kita straight away.

There used to be a forum called Rabeneltern which is a bit more like MN in tone than most of the German forums - just looked at them and they are very, very focused on the baby years, more than I remembered. I sometimes visit Urbia, which is a big and diverse parenting forum with - for instance - a very active school section. There's also a section on family life, parenting, school etc on a lot of more general forums - chefkoch.de comes to mind, which started out (as the name suggests) as a cookery forum but has acquired various other subjects and is pretty busy.

mietverein added to the list, thank you. And that is a great site for Schulranzen!
I remember rabeneltern from the baby days, will have a look again and urbia too, but nothing can really beat mumsnet I think.

I called DD's new school yesterday just to see what they will say. The secretary told me just to call when we are registered and come over to do the forms. She also said they would make her an appointment with the ?schulamtsarzt?. Anybody had to do this with a child who doesn't speak much German? How did that go down? I fessed up to her that DD understands a fair bit but doesn't really speak German yet and she seemed a bit alarmed.
DD is bright and doing well in school here, I am not massively concerned about the language thing. I think once they need to speak it they will pick it up fast.
I do really try with them here but since they started preschool and they figured out that everybody else speaks english they are just not interested in speaking german. Very frustrating!
Did you just put your DC into normal school classes or did they join special classes for children with german as a second language first?

Been through it twice: the pre-school check is the obvious physical checks sight/hearing/hopping on one foot then drawing a picture, answering questions and giving shapes, colours, basic vocab in German.
My first child came with no German aged 5, was in kita for six months then passed the test, did more kita and went into year 1 aged 6 and a quarter.
German came from being in kindergarten 8 til 3 and no one speaking any English.
My second child has just passed the test and will start this September but will be 6 and three quarters.
She was a kannkind last year so I decided to wait a year til she was a musskind. (The older they are gives them an edge and in secondary with freiwillige Rücktritt/sitzenbleiben they often end up older anyway even if they start earlier as a kannkind: kann and muss to do with when they turn 6). A friend of mine recently went back to her home country as her child "failed" the test/was told to wait a year. She took it personally when it was a non-brainer to wait 12 months.
Both my kids as non-natives did a weekly two hour course at the primary.
Basic vocab (clothes/house/body/food etc)
Both mine on the tests slipped in a couple of English words (eg apple, diamond) but nonetheless could hold a conversation in German.
If your child is passive not active, you might find they tell you to wait a year/do kindergarten for a year or some kind of Übergangsklasse < I have heard mixed things about those classes (but that said, some people are snobby/borderline racist when it comes to immigration/integration).
I suggest you start chatting with your dc now whether they want to or not!!(Farben/Formen/Zahlen/Alphabet).
Year 1 = basic letters, basic number work and simple reading. Push for that and if there is a problem, they can resit the year (even later a friend did year 3 twice so they would pass the hell that is Übertritt year 4 to get to Gymnasium).
I have a checklist of what they should be able to do, will look for it tomorrow but am sure your child does the stuff already (count to 20, sit still, you know the usual classroom conformity ).

oh and the weekly class held at the feeder primary was free, just needed to get them there and back one morning a week before kindy (some kitas will do the drop-off/pick-up to the school for you). It is a requirement/offer for all Vorschulkinder^ who have German as a second language or who are bilingual.

^ Finally in my experience there has been little to no extra provision for German as a second language/or SEN
within the classroom itself in a typical state run primary. (Compared with the UK). But the syllabus in Years 1-3 was easy enough. It is only the continuous assessment in years 3 and 4 that are a royal pain in the butt.

That is a bit worrying then. I talk to them in german all the time. They do understand but point blank refuse to answer in german. DH also doesnt speak german so we have always spoken english to each other. I think the dc just can't be bothered over here. Unfortunately my family has been less then helpful, they just don't get it. Even when they were small their attitude was: well we can't talk to them they don't speak german.never mind that at that point they didn't speak any bloody language because they were 1 or 2!
Think i have to ban anything but German telly and enter into a stand off over answering me in German.
If you find the list that would be really helpful, thank you.

I didn't hold much hope of getting a kita place for only 3 months for the oldest but must get onto that. Will make some phone calls this morning.

Good morning!
We have moved around a fair bit and I remember one of my dc stomping his feet, shouting "I don't want to speak Germany!!!". Said child quickly got the idea that the only way of being able to play was speaking Germany and then he was fine.
Your kids will come round to the idea.

Don't hold a stand off over answering in german. If they understand it they'll soon get over their reluctance when you get there and they need it, but if you make an issue over it now you risk making them feel resentful about it.

The schools are well used to accepting non german speaking children as they've had all the new refugee children the past year or two. They aren't going to deny entry based on language competence, honestly. They are legally required to give them a place anyway.

I'm pretty useless at the stand off anyway, my kids are extremely stubborn!
I'm really not worried, DD has 3 months before school starts, and once she starts I know she will pick it up fast. I was more concerned that the school will go: Nope, not enough german and pack her off to a special class(which would be in a different school).
I don't have a problem with her being in a class with refuge children by the way, hope it didn't come across like that. We have 'Migrationshintergrund' ourselves. Just think that, given she already has German knowledge, she will benefit more from being in a class with children who all speak German. Then she has to get on with it.

Bertie, not sure where you are but in Bavaria they can and do put kids into Übergangsklassen. My Chinese friend's child was told only last year to wait a year so it can and does happen. Not that I am against waiting, I think it makes sense. As for three months of kits, check the Bildungszentrum childcare for course attendees. We take older children too. The Betreuung staff will coach your DD to speak German. Also look at your Jugendamt website for Ferienangebote. There will be fairly cheaply run courses/activities and holiday cover in July. You are a native German speaker so will sway the school in that regard anyway.

Kita

Found the list. If your DD has already been in UK reception class, she can do all this I would have thought.

Be able to:
Greet adults and fellow pupils
Keep at an activity for 30 minutes and be able to complete a task
Ordnung halten!!!
Distinguish left from right
Count to 20
Know and distinguish colours
Notice/spot 5 things
Work with scissors and glue
Work with others in a group
Speak and understand German
Work on small tasks independently

Don't forget to get the long list of Grundmaterialien from the teacher. Always a joy, running the gauntlet of Müller in the first week of school. I have my list now but am not organised enough to have done anything about it. Subconsciously I must love the adrenaline rush of what can only be described as The Stationery Hunger Games.

Oh right, no, nor in Bavaria but perhaps I just haven't come across this!

I suck at the stationery and I'm sure DS's teacher thinks I'm awful

She'll have an R against your name Bertie for Rabenmutter Don't worry, you're in good company!
Bayern is in a world of its own, I reckon. But that's another thread.
Frohe Ostern

I've got a 5-year old who refuses to speak my mother tongue and I'm not hugely consistent myself. I was amazed that after a few days back home where he was mainly quiet and a bit upset he suddenly started to speak my language with his grandparents and cousins. Not perfect, but perfectly reasonable full sentences. I was really very surprised. Back in the UK, complete refusal again unfortunately. Hope it's the same for yours and they can just switch their German to active

Ordnung halten great at school, useless at home!
She can do everything on that list apart from speak bloody German. Oh the shame!
DD2 is down with the language thing, keeps telling everyone 'we are learning deutsch!' and does a great rendition of 'Alle meine duckchen". I'm not correcting that, it's too cute.
I just found the bildungszentrum, thank you for that tip! DH needs to do an integration/language course anyway and they do have a KITA.
We are moving to Leipzig by the way, no point being shy about that now, anyone who knows me will have figured out its me by now.

Alle meine Duckchen made me smile. My youngest was born here but does not speak German yet apart from NEIN. He sat through the Smurfs in German at the cinema yesterday though. We will get there in the end.
Leipzig had a good indoor ball pool and a nice zoo

Stationery Hunger Games

We were Bavaria too, waves at any HENhaus Fraus!

I rather like stationary, I suspect I would enjoy a good rummage round the shops for the right stuff.
Tried to cancel child benefit today, they asked me lots of nosy questions and then said they will check if I'm still entitled to it and send me a letter to Germany with the decision. WTH??? I just wanted to cancel it, not ask if I can still get it. I know we won't be entitled but even if I was, why would I want it from the UK when we get 3 times as much in Germany. Why can't they just cancel it? How odd.

^ I think it's to do with where you pay your taxes? So they have to check you're not ordinarily resident. The letter of cessation took a couple of months and half a dozen phonecalls. Infuriating. Which reminds me, you will need to close down any isas, policies etc where you have to be a UK resident as you won't be eligible for interest or insurance won't be valid. I did not notify DVLA in advance but swapped my driving license for a German one when I arrived.

We made it! We are moved in, registered, krankenversichert, dd registered in school, with faint hope of a kita platz for little one . I'm starting work on Monday. Bit nervous about that. Kids are having a great time in the garden and with their cousins. Slowly starting with a bit more German. Thank you so much for all the advice on here!
Now I need to share this weird observation: its been lovely and warm here, 20 to 21 degrees, sunny. We were out yesterday and saw lots of kids, without fail my kids were the only ones in short sleeves?! We walked past a nursery and every single child was wearing those stretchy hats, not sunhats. How do they manage to get their children into long sleeves and jackets and warm hats in this weather and why? And more importantly how long until someone reports me to the Jugendamt because my children are wearing tshirts in May?