Moving back to Germany in a month- Help!

[peacelikeariver]

So after 20 years in London I'm packing up my family and taking them home. Well, my home, they have never lived there. This is not a fancy move, just a normal job, no relocation package. Thankfully I have a very capable SIL who has been very helpful.
I have found a job and with child benefit we will have enough to live on while DH learns German. We have a flat. The kids are excited. All good.
Now comes the stress of actually moving!
Any tips? I have not lived in Germany for 20 years, never been an 'adult' there, so all the bureaucracy is a bit alien to me.
I have opened a bank account online.
Have applied for Krankenversicherung.
School is not problem, kindergarten we have to sort out once we get there.
As I understand it we will get tax ID numbers once we register there?
Is it true I need a letter confirming we have cancelled child benefit here to apply for it there?
Any tips and experience of relocating to Germany greatly appreciated!

Huh? I always got to keep my exercise books at the end of the year growing up in England, that's strange. I've found the German school more baffling in that they don't let me have a copy of his report so I can read and translate it at my leisure.

As far as I understand they keep the books in school for Ofsted purposes and we don't get them.
On the other hand I got all my school reports(Zeugnisse?) at the end of the year, parents have to sign them, but we also got to keep them.
Things are changing in both countries clearly.

Bertie you take him to the Augenarzt not the optician - health insurance pays for it, they won't pay for an optician. The eye tests they do as part of the Us are not very comprehensive, mainly colour blindness but not enough to know whether they need glasses. All mine have had eye tests at the Augenarzt - my youngest has one booked for a couple of weeks time and I specifically said when booking that he is a Vorschule Kind (they've stopped doing the school redness medical which included eye test in our area). Most public health insurance also pays for a couple of further medicals after you reach the end of the Us - there are two Js, both with big windows but off the top of my head the first one is available from about age 9-11 and the second from about 14-16...

peace I got my eldest a Satch Schulrucksack for 5 Klasse (not a Grundschule Schuleranzen but the ones they use for secondary school) for 50€ in a branch of the department store Urban - among all the 120€ plus rucksacks there were 3 or 4 in last year's colours for 50€ - exactly the same bags, but in different colours. As a lot of them were just "self" coloured they were hardly dated! DD was very happy with a pale grey one and even at secondary nobody has ever said anything about knowing it was a "last year's" bag (and she's in 6 Klasse now so would have last year's anyway! :o )

On the manufacturers websites you sometimes stumble across a reduced one, but they don't seem to point you to a section - I think you'll have more luck in physical shops, ideally bigger ones where you won't be hovered over and your child encouraged to nag for the most expensive model with all the trimmings...

The Schuleranzen are also often reduced in the shops once the summer holidays start as almost everyone buys theirs well in advance (Kindergartens have a day in June when the Vorschule children all bring their Schuleranzen in to show off).

Bertie you are meant to get a copy of his report to keep - they are official documents and you can use them if you leave Germany as a child to get residence/ access university etc. I've got a Turkish friend who lived in Germany as a child, was taken back to Turkey as a teen, and has been able to return because she can show she attended school in Germany for 5 years, by showing her 1-5 Klasse reports!

You should be given those.

I think it was perhaps because it was a mid-year one? Not sure. His teacher doesn't speak English and isn't very good at speaking clear simple German either.

I would have liked DS to have the Us because I was diagnosed with adult ADHD last year and as I understand he would be screened for it. Other than that and the eyesight I've got no concerns.

We are two years in. And considering leaving....
I think it can be ok if you have a life.

Will you be close to family? when DC are small you can make new acquaintances quickly.

I think we need a new German thread judging by everyone coming out if the woodwork on this one :)

Bertie my kids have all had all the Us here - there isn't any in dept ADHD screening as such, but there is a very long parental questionnaire, and I suppose answers to that would/ could trigger screening. DC3 has gone through Us absolutely unable to sit still, and DC2 was paralysingly shy with adults at 5, but neither raised any concerns. You can get him screened just by asking your paediatrician though - they will refer you to a specialist paediatric assessment centre where he will be assessed by an interdisciplinary team - paediatricians are generalists and not much more use than GPS except for referring you on to the right place...

We actually got DC1 assessed after her 1 Klasse teacher said she had problems concentrating - although it turns out that was more a matter of cultural communication failure, as I just hadn't got my head around the need for teachers here to find negative things to say, and there isn't anything wrong with her at all (they do IQ tests and assessments of their strengths ans weaknesses and all sorts though, you come out of the assessment with lots of random, vaguely interesting but slightly questionable information about your child! :o )

Just ask your paediatrician to refer you if you are at all concerned. No idea whether a diagnosis is worth having of course - I tend to think the German system isn't one in which you'd want a child with a borderline disorder diagnosed, if you could help them yourself...

That was meant to say "in depth" not "in dept"

Huh, interesting. Well, I'm not worried about him as such, it's just I mentioned it to his teacher because she always goes on about his focus and attention and she laughed it off saying he can't have ADHD as he sits still in a chair. Which I thought was quite dismissive as I have never had that particular problem! I'm not really keen for him to be diagnosed, it was just I didn't want it to be missed either if that makes sense.

It's interesting what you said about finding negatives because I never quite know whether their scale goes from excellent - satisfactory - poor or satisfactory - poor - terrible. DS seems to get top marks in everything but hover in the middle for concentration and focus, so it's confusing.

They wanted to do the IQ test on me but they didn't have one in English.

The school systems are certainly different, I hope DC will do ok. They are 6 and 3.
We are going back because we can't afford London anymore and it was moving to Germany or moving elsewhere in the UK. And after brexit that didnt seem an appealing option really. And it will be nice for DC to be near their cousins. So i really hope we will be able to settle down, I did have to laugh at the pace of things when we were looking at flats. No urgency whatsoever, you would almost think people didnt want to let their flats. I think everything moves slower than in London which will take some getting used to but will also be nice, once it doesnt drive me crazy anymore.

What area are you moving to? Sorry if I missed that.

We got our eldest a Satch bag too when he joined 4. Klasse, IIRC. Our middle one (current 4. Klasse) still has a trad Ranzen, but they do get too small and awkward at some point. We got ours their first ones from Jako-o - they do quite an inoffensive model for (at the time, and shouldn't be much more now) 80 Euro.

In our last and current state (Thüringen and Brandenburg respectively) the Us are pretty much compulsory, in that 'they' chase you via letter if you don't have them. They're quite interesting, though, I've found - once the Kinderärzte have got past the brow-furrowing about the dcs' presumed underweight and -height (we're small. I'm small and my dh is TINY for a German. Our kids are slim. But do they fret if they're not on the 50th centile...).

School is 'ein Kapitel für sich', as the Germans say...

(Should have added said Satch bag is still going strong in the middle of 6. Klasse. Was quite ouch price-wise but worth it).

I think it must vary by area, flats here are so hard to find and you need to be looking months and months in advance But we enjoy the quality of life here and certainly we felt that we'd need to be earning a LOT more to consider moving to London particularly.

6 and 3 are great ages I think. The first year of school is very slow here compared to the UK equivalent year 2 anyway. And 3 is just kindergarten age, so perfect.

And woe betide you if you try to be slow in the grocery queue I get quite upset at my British family's shopping slowness now!

For a German forum try www.rund-ums-baby.de In that forum are also others that returned from the UK or are planning doing so. There is a forum for raising multilingual children as well.

I think if your children understand German and maybe even speak some words, they'll learn fast when they are around other children.

Good morning - this seems a really useful thread..and I don't want to ambush but as my unexciting name suggests I'm moving to Frankfurt in time for Sep 2017.. and am at a loss where to start, not full expat so not exactly all usual help etc. I read of a German thread..could anyone post link? Many thanks! And good luck to OP..I'd love to be moving back 'home' but unfort..not on the cards....

Welcome to Frankfurt, Frankfurt! there are tons of expats and regular forriners here. There is a pretty active British and US Women's Association in the Taunus area - they may be of help as well.

Another frankfurter here waves
Well I work in the city but we live in the Taunus now. Are you coming alone or with family? With work? Do you need to find a place to live? Happy to help with any specific questions you may have.
Oh and here's the German thread
(Sorry don't know how to do those short clicks links!)
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/living_overseas/2739796-Is-there-still-a-German-Thread?pg=1&order=

Doctors will be interesting I think, there seems to be a lot of homeopathy floating around the regular healthcare system. Odd

Why odd? I live in a country next door and my GP is a homeopath also.

Great to get the regular diagnosis but not have to take the pharmacists drugs if you don't want to.

Good to have it if you need it but big pharma is all about the money.

As far as Schulranzen go, you may want to consider buying them second hand on ebay. This is what we did and ended up with top brand Ranzen in perfect condition including (the not really needed) accessories for less than 20 Euro per child.
I dito the Haftpflichtversicherung and - depending on your line of work - consider a Berufshaftpflicht as well. rund-ums-baby is the German forum I would recommend as well.

BTW, should you have posted here a year or two ago wondering whether to make the move or not: Congratulations on your decision! You will have a much better quality of life.
Herzliche Grüße
C.

Oh never thought about Ebay, good idea.
And yes, caterpillar2001 that was probably me. I spend a long time dithering but Brexit was the much needed kick up the backside.

I have started to pack up some stuff, the more I pack the more stuff seems to be there, its making me panic a bit.
I have endless lists of things to cancel, arrange, sort out... nightmare!

katside why are you thinking of leaving? I don't think I could face moving ever again after this. I do worry about the change, but then I am a worrier in general.
We are moving near parts of out family( the nice parts) so that has been helpful.

we have been moving country every few years for the past 25 years or so, so maybe it's just an itch. I think life here can be ok, I am just not great at creating social bonds and neither are people around me so that"s kind of a bad combination.

the moving part is not such a big deal to me, I am quite good at that. but making new friends is harder.