Homesickness, veterans and newbies all welcome!

[Bebespain]

Hi everybody and happy New Year!

I decided to start this thread as I am a veteran at feeling homesick (10 years out of the UK) and despite a period of slight remission, lately I feel I am right back to square one.

I had been reading another thread in the Overseas category and I can see I'm not the only one finding that homesickness actually gets worse as the years roll by.

Of course, there is little anybody can do or say to change my current situation and yes, I know life could be much worse, but I do think that severe homesickness can be crippling and not many people really understand how it feels. I just think it would be helpful to have a thread where others going through similar feelings can support each other...oh, and let off a bit of steam while we're at it

In my case I think being recently diagnosed with a chronic health condition, Brexit, plus the fact that we will be unable to make our annual trip back "home" this Summer has knocked me for six. I feel totally stuck and as my children get older (plus the fact that my husband doesn't want to go back to the UK) the realisation that I will most likely have to grow old here, is an absolute killer.

Anyone else...?

I have just put shed through the other side of nursing my through a long illness. He died a few weeks ago. I was incredibly fortunate to be able to go back and spend pretty much the last 8 months "home" nursing him with my mother and siblings. We had not all been under the same roof in 35 years. I now see the long illness almost like a gift to us.

I have lived abroad most of my life including with my parents and been in Asia for the last 10. I have loved all our postings and some places we have overstayed on local terms by choice. We have made it our home and found "a village" to raise our family everywhere by nessecity.
I have to say I have mostly enjoyed it appart those early years with work and no childcare backup.

I now realise how much we all missed being scattered. But it is what it is and I also see how little effort they put in it whilst we have come back to them every year and how our children are grounded in their identity and their affection for them despite the distance and quasi indifference.
I accept that being abroad is our choice.

To those going through something similar, just want to send my love and support. Please go home when you can. Hold hands, smile, caress. No need for words sometimes. If I had not done it, I think I would not be able to recover.
We spent the last month in our childhood home and having all those long lost friends and familiar environment was incredibly soothing. Even if we have little in common now, That place still exists. It is an emotional space that truly exists and is like no other.

OP sorry for the tangeant! It has not changed my mind about going back for good. I am the sum of all my "local" lives.

See below, really interesting idea. The topic is about identity so off topic here but her concept of "home" really rings true
www.ted.com/talks/taiye_selasi_don_t_ask_where_i_m_from_ask_where_i_m_a_local#t-104325

Intersting thread. I've been overseas for 10 years this year, I'm 11 hours from the UK in my DH's home country.
I didn't think we'd stay this long but have had 2 kids and got stuck. Healthcare, education and lifestyle is miles better and more accessible here. My DH would never go back to the UK.
I don't really get homesick but i miss my albeit very small family and small group of friends.
Last month my Dad was taken very ill and is now in hospital, i popped back for a week but wish i was there to support my Mum more. He will be in hospital for a very long time if he makes it out at all and i just feel useless here.

TheQueen are you to the SE of Brussels in the 3080 area like me?

isthistoonosy wrote: "...But over time it became clear he missed a place that didn't exist anymore - people had moved on or died and the whole country was a different place. It made him ill, or being ill made him more homesick. We were never really sure."

This can happen even if you're still in your country of origin. I has happened to me, and I still live in the town I was born in.

Hi. Glad I found this thread. I moved from London to Sydney 7 months ago to live with my DP who I met on holiday about 15 months ago. I miss home so much - friends, hobbies, family, my flat....and my freedom. I think part of the issue is me and DP didn't "date" - it was straight to living together. So I feel I am not just dealing with homesickness but all the "fun" of living with a man. Despite various conversations, "nagging" and moving out of the flat he shared with another guy, I still feel I am doing most of the housework etc. I lived alone before and I long for the days I didn't clear up someone else's mess. So much for the honeymoon period....
Also, it's so expensive here. DP pays more of the rent etc here but I am still struggling, despite feeling I had plenty of cash when I lived in London. I work freelance and still earning pounds so suffering from the exchange rate. Going to the gym and playing tennis twice a week costs 3 times what it did at home and food is twice as much. But on the plus side, it's sunny, the beach is down the road and there are some great walks etc. But I still struggle with the idea of staying here - and, obviously, I don't have to. I still have my flat in London (I let a room to a lodger but my room is still "mine" to stay in and all my stuff is there) so going back would be "easy" (except coping with everyone else's surprise/comments etc). DP is English but AU citizen - he's been here ages and his life is here. I really don't know if he's move back if I suggested it. I just feel like I've made so many changes and sometimes he hasn't made any (like tidying up after himself).
Am not sure what advice I am after but just wanted to communicate with some other people who's "dream life" might not be as perfect as they hoped.