The biggest thing I hate about being an expat in America is....

[DeliveredByKiki]

My panic attacks incurred by police helicopters circling the vicinity of my DC school. We live in a metropolitan area in a liberal state but the fact that it even crossed my mind there could be Someone with a gun in my child's school is horrible.

The gun laws are ultimately what will make me move home before they hit middle school

What part of Canada are you in UKSounding? I'm Canadian and it's never been considered rude to ask someone that in my experience. Though I was raised an army brat and moved a lot and it may have been more acceptable to ask that question in that type of community. And I live in an area now with a lot of short-term locals from all over the world, so it's a question that gets asks fairly often around here.

There is nothing wrong with it.

There is a lot wrong with assuming everyone you meet likes to have their difference pointed out.

A lot of people like to feel they are making a connection when they strike up a conversation or when someone starts to chat with them. People like to make connections on a purely human to human level. If the person they are trying to connect with states the difference (a reference to a surface level attribute) instead of listening to the sentiments (paying attention to the inner human feeling, meeting that human on the level of equals) it can be very discouraging.

Ultimately if you go around assuming people want to be othered, go ahead, state the obvious, point out differences - for example, 'Gee whiz, you've got Daz blue white skin and your hair is the reddest I have ever seen.' But if you want to be inclusive and meet people on a human to human level, then listen to the need and focus on connection.

You are holding other people at arms length when you note out loud the surface level differences.

I was not actually aware that it was considered rude in Canada to ask where people are from. I wondered why this was...

I first noticed this visiting San Francisco. People would say 'say, are you from round here' and I would want to snap back 'are you deaf, can't you hear that I am not'. Only when I listened to others replying to the selfsame question, did i notice that it is more 'inclusive'. You can reply yes, I'm or no, I'm from . All good.

How would you have felt if you had been having a chat, answering questions that you thought were about making that human connection, asking some in return, making the odd attempt at ice-breaking via humour, and feeling you were getting somewhere, and then instead of taking a cue from the actual subject matter of the conversation, the person you were chatting with said, 'I just love your cute accent'.

Bear in mind that all your life you are used to opening your mouth, talking about whatever it is that you want to talk about, and having your opinions themselves listened to and responded to and that you therefore expect that people will hear what you say and not how you say it.

I thought it was just a cliche that people would comment on my accent, but no... That story line in Love Actually where he pulls based on pretty much his accent? Kinda believable!!

In the area I live people feel slightly threatened by foreigners as if the all had an invasion masterplan . But from what I see elsewhere in Canada, asking someone where are they from might make the person feel unwelcome (you are obviously not from here, not one of us). The answer to the question could also be "well, I'm from here" and that is an all other kind of awkward.

In a community where people move a lot, I would guess that it is different because your different origins is common grounds.

Where do you live math? I have never come across this kind of conversation. Are you sure this happened?

I have an Irish accent, and I live in the US. It hasn't happened for a while as my accent has melded into the surrounding accent.

But yes I am very sure this happened.

I have heard, 'I just love your cute accent,' and, 'I just love the way you guys talk,' and, 'I could listen to that brogue all day,' and even, in mid conversation, out of the blue and apropos of absolutely nothing, 'Can you talk Gaelic?'

I have also had my English complimented, as in 'You've learned so much English over the last year' - from a doctor's receptionist. I had developed more of a local accent. I just said 'Thanks'. This receptionist also thought I was asking for a prescription for amphetamines when I asked about one for pre natal vitamins the doctor had told me about but forgotten to give me.

we are in UK.
At a governors meetign at the end of last year the head told us that we will need to have a code red policy, and all staff will need to know what to do in those circumstances. We talked about school site and how we woudl put it into lock down, and where the kids should go. There will be an expert coming in in the next couple of months to advise.

We are not in major urban area, nor a dangerous one, just that this is now a good idea for all schools.
So not just US.

Re: driving. I am an American living in the UK. My driving test in America (new York) consisted of performing manoeuvres. So, pulling away from the curb, parallel parking, reversing, performing a 3 point turn in the road and driving around the block. Literally. It was about 15 mins long and I passed it first time

My test in the UK was closer to an hour and involved joining traffic, rural and town driving, hill starts, emergency stops, etc. I passed it on my second attempt

There is no way the American system trained me to be a safe and competent driver