Moving UK to USA

[iamrioxo]

I'm currently in a long distance relationship with someone who lives in Maine, USA. I have no desire to live in the uk and growing up America has always been the place I want to live in! However I have two young children both currently under 4 with a 5 year plan?
Can anyone give me any advice? The children aren't his either, they have a different father who was abusive, extremely abusive towards me and my children and we were involved with the social services and when I left their father I worked my butt off to get off from social services.
I'm worried that he'll try and object to it? However I feel deep inside that this will be beneficial to both the children and I. If anyone who has done this move? Thinking of doing this move or even in the same situation as me please just give me some advice through this?
Thank you

OP, what is it you hate so much about the UK, and why do you think the US will be so much better?

If you remove PR then no you don't need permission and you will have a legal documentation to prove that. I have spoken to a family lawyer and have friends within family court. It's a good thing he's an abuser and a rapist otherwise stripping him of his PR would be highly difficult to do so, and it does state that anyone who has the rights or responsibility for the children need to give their consent to me moving, so if the father doesn't have those rights, it's just my consent.

My friends advice is literally because she's done the move herself that's all.

I am not being naive regarding the health care costs, it's one of the biggest deal breakers I have with moving out there and I have to find some way to adjust with it. Like its gonna be more than hard however if I get enough savings to back me up at least a little bit, then I'll be happy with whatever I can do and just pray to god that my kids will only need calpol.

My personal opinion doesn't exactly matter on what I think each country is. Like I say, it's just a personal preference and I'm not here to go into a backstory of why I can't stand my home country.

Thank you for the health care breakdown, this is literally what I'm looking at as I really want to get the savings behind me to cover this. My partner has said he'd do anything and look into everything and sponsoring both me and the children he's completely fine with, and he respects why the health care is the biggest deal breaker for me. I don't ever expect to not pay anything for health care, I respect that I would have to pay something towards it as I have to pay something towards NAtional Insurance which goes into the NHS, so I'm not as naive or giddy or whatever as most of you think, I just want to know the break downs rather than telling me that I'm naive and such. Obviously my children are all up to date atm with the boosters, they are very healthy children and like I say, catch a cold going into summer and catch a cold around Christmas time. I've been a very healthy person. Only seen the inside of a hospital if a. I was beaten up by my ex. Or b. Pregnant. I try and remain as healthy as I can as well as the kids etc.

A healthy child can get hit by a car, or need his appendix out, or develop asthma, or get flu, or fall off a climbing frame and hit his head and need scans and x-rays and a stay in hospital. You ARE being naive by saying 'my DC and I are really healthy'. Most people are until a crisis strikes.

Assuming that a long-distance relationship will last for years is also naive. Its all new and exciting at the moment, but how do you think you (or he), might feel two or four years down the line when you never get to spend more than a few snatched weeks together every year and the costs of visiting one another and the restrictions of school holidays mean its really difficult? Five years is a long time - you've only been together a few months - and you're talking about five or seven or even ten years of living in this limbo. That's why people feel you're giddy on this new relationship and the delicious thought of moving far away from your abusive ex and this country that you apparently hate. The grass is always greener ...

Hello. I live in the US (have done so my whole life, in fact), and am a physician, and I think some of the information you are getting on this thread about healthcare coverage is slightly out-of-date and incomplete. The situation is not as dire as people are suggesting. In addition, while the social safety network in the US is not as well-developed here as it is in the UK, it is also not as well publicized, and varies state-to-state, so it can be difficult to get decent information about it unless you have tried to access it.

I have a number of relatives in the UK, including one who emigrated here at age 22, so I have a few thoughts on your situation.

I will pm you.

Sorry, I'm not familiar with "mumsnet terms" I have no clue what a 2dc is?
And if I was a selfish mother? Why the hell did I leave the man that not only abused me but also raised his hand to his daughter? Please think about? Do not judge me on my decision, I am literally trying to collect information on something that could be an option later in life, anything could happen from here and now, I just wanted some advice not to be judged at, assumed or be called names. It's very degrading. I would never sit here and judge someone's parenting skills based on something they see on a forum which I thought was meant to be used as some place to go for advice/help if needed? I'm not sure why there is such negativity and personally I'm offended that you'd even call me a selfish ignorant mother. You have no idea what I've been through to try and keep my children safe from any harm. I've constantly said throughout my posts children and kids which is plural meaning more than one. So please. Take your negative comments away from me. Thank you.

I'm more of a positive thinker than a negative thinker. I like to plan for the future but I also make allowances for things that won't follow the plan, like unexpected illnesses, all I can say now is that my children are healthy, I am not irresponsible enough to allow them to cross the road by themselves as I'm pretty sure a 1 year old and a 3 year old is not acceptable to cross a street by themselves so right now they are out of danger. Obviously that can all change somewhere down the line however it doesn't mean I am naive or giddy. I've known this person a good few years prior to wanting to commit, so if we can be that good of friends for that length of time then we should be able to get through anything. I just have faith and hope that one day I'd be allowed to have happiness. Rather than people forever having to weigh in about that.

Like I said, countless of times. I don't want opinions on my relationship or reasoning to why I want to move etc, I just want to know facts, advice, helpful links that point me in the right direction to the right things that I need to find out. I don't sit here and weigh in on your relationships etc. I literally just signed up to this to gain the help I can. I'm quite shocked by the amount of people that have negative things to say. I see a lot of humans, and barely any humanity.

Getting a visa is tricky. Really tricky especially if you've not got a job. You'll need to get decent advice and preferably not off an Internet forum but from someone who has verifiable qualifications.

The visa part is not that difficult as long as her partner is prepared to marry her. Just a matter of filing the paperwork and paying the fee. If she doesn't want to get married, then she will need to find an employer to sponsor her and yes, that would be very difficult.

when you first move over car insurance is extremely expensive as they do not consider your previous driving history. The first year for my car insurance was $4500 for a VW golf. So while you might only spend $5k on the actual car you need a lot of cash to pay the insurance, sales tax if applicable and registration fees. Also, if buying a car for $5k it would be prudent to put at least $2k aside for repairs in the first year

I am american and have moved back and forth between america and canada and have settled now in the UK. America is just like the UK in terms of insurance: the market is reasonably competitive. In both countries I had to phone around to find a company that would recognize foreign driving experience and in both cases I found some.

And I don't think I have ever owned a car for more than 5K.

red So you were first insured in the US or Canada and then moved over to the UK? I know that when I moved over to NJ at the age of 25, having never had an American DL, none of the insurance companies that provide coverage here in NJ would accept my British driving history. DH has an assistant rotate through every 3 years and the insurance was so high they now use a company car as the cost to insure the individual was just 5k (for a toyota corolla) due to none of the insurance companies accepting driving history from Denmark.

Also having owned cars here $5k gets you something 10 years old with about 100k miles on the clock. Yes it is fine to drive something like this, however these cars do have higher maintenance costs compared to a newer car. Bear in mind in Maine you will need AWD plus, depending on where you live, you might need snow tires.

Want

My DP moved from Canada to live with me in MA and got cheap insurance no problem. She was in a slightly different position from you from the sounds of it. She not only had years of safe driving but also had insurance under her name in Canada. that may have been the difference. of course, safe driving for years may mean you barely drove, but having insurance under your name means you were the primary driver for a vehicle. She phoned around quite a bit, and got an insurer to respect her safe driving/insurance from Canada. When we moved to the UK we did the exact same. Phoned a few insurers and we found one that gave us safe driving for US/Canada experience.

As for car expense, I grew up in MA, so I know about winter driving. It just depends on what you are willing to tolerate. I have a cheap car here in London, and I drove one back home. My experience is that you have to have a pretty cheap and old car for higher maintenance cost to make up the price difference of a newer car. I have always thought that people have a huge tolerance for paying over the odds for a newer car, but that's just me.

That's my point. When you move internationally it depends where you move from. The U.S. and Canada recognize each other so it isn't a problem with car insurance when you move to the U.S. from Canada. It was totally different when I moved from the UK. I had my own insurance from 17 and while I had 7+ years no claims, accidents or speeding tickets it didn't count for Jack. My sister moved to Canada and then the U.S. and it was easy for her to transfer her license over plus insurance recognized her Canadian driving record but not her UK record.

I am not disputing you had trouble. but I didn't. We (DP and I) did the opposite move you did (US to UK) and for some reason had no trouble. All our insurer here wanted was a letter from our insurer in the US and we got our now claims discount. I have no idea whose experience is more typical, but for us it was just a case of making a number of phone calls.

Transferring licenses is a different matter. You can't do it between the US and UK (either direction), and you can between canada and either the US or UK.

Auto insurance rates in the US remain high, irrespective of driving history, until age 25, when they drop precipitously. Maybe that accounts for some of the variation in experience.

Also, when determining rates, auto insurance companies in the US use marital status and credit score. (Apparently married people and people with higher credit scores are much less likely to be involved in a serious accident. One would expect this to include people in same-sex and heterosexual marriages, btw.)

It's totally different moving to the UK. You can't compare the two. The UK is used to people coming and going. In my family we have lived in more than 8 countries between us. It isn't unusual to have lived abroad for at least a year or two at some point. In the US Americans just don't move abroad and back again as much and as a result its a lot harder coming into the U.S. From countries other than Canada or the Caribbean islands compared to going to a country like the UK.

I've just checked our car insurance and for the past 2 years we have paid $2k a year for 2 adults to drive 2 cars in Texas (ford suv and a Porsche - don't judge, it's a long story). Our Singapore driving history was taken into account and we arrived here 2.5 years ago, first time living in the USA. It must vary massively from state to state.

I have a friend who moved to the US from Nigeria, and his driving record there was taken into account here. He pays a very reasonable rate.

Because of Obamacare, you have to pay whether you use the dr or not. Of course it's more if you do go, but you still have to have insurance. And Obamacare is not free. It's not the NHS. I think it's free for some but personally our rates have gone up.

I think a point may need clarification; under the ACA (Obamacare) you may be require to enroll in and pay a monthly premium for private health insurance for yourself and your children. As non-permanent residents you won't qualify for public health assistance, you'll have to enroll in private insurance coverage and that can be very expensive. Although policies can vary, a basic PPO health policy will cost you anywhere from $200.00 USD to $700.00 USD per month, depending on the insurance company and where you live. I'm in California and my son's premium, just for himself, is $526.00 USD per month. It would be higher if he had children. You and your children would most likely NOT be eligible for coverage on your partner's insurance.

So it's not enough to hope that you and your children stay healthy.

Well I can say is that New Jersey does not have a car insurance carrier that recognizes driving history outside of Canada or Mexico. I had been the primary driver in the UK and that history didn't count for anything. Also, the first year was $4500 and last year when I sold my car, with almost 10 years of clean driving history and an 8 year old car the insurance was $1600 a year.

Other parts of the country are cheaper just like property taxes being lower elsewhere however the cost is considerably higher compared to the UK.

Want2bSupermum may be highlighting something I always say about the US, that it is such a large country that things really vary from state to state. What happens in New Jersey can be very different from what happens in South Carolina, for example, sort of like what happens in Poland is very different from what happens in Northern Ireland. So making broad statements about the entire US is not very helpful nor are such statements likely to be very accurate.

It looks like NJ has the costliest auto insurance in the nation, 49% higher than the national average.

www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2015/03/nj_once_again_has_costliest_auto_insurance_in_us_report_says.html

as this is a five year plan (and all for that with such a big life-change) there's no need to do anything at the moment except save like mad. That means cutting down on all non-essentials - doesn't mean you can't still have fun, the front door is free!

but you are going to be in the UK for the next five years. I suggest a mind-set change from 'I Hate the UK' or you are going to piss away half a decade being miserable.