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Living overseas

Is being an expat the kiss of death for most relationships?

76 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 18/09/2015 18:09

All of our friends in Paris, who were expats (or one of the couple was, and the other French) have split up. Of my expat school gate friends from Brussels, they have all split up too. In nearly every case, the man ended it, and has moved on to a new, younger wife and a second family. The wife is either left with the kids, to struggle in a country that isn't "home" or heads back to the UK with the kids, and they hardly ever see their father. Our UK friends are not like this! It all seems a bit bizarre to me.

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ChristineDePisan · 29/09/2015 01:41

I'm sorry to hear about your experience life Flowers

In a general sense, I'm quite certain that living as an expat is a "sink or swim" experience for most relationships - it either brings you together or tears you apart, even if the catalyst appears to be a younger model or whatever. In the same way that having a sticking plaster baby is a terrible idea, so is going to live in a foreign country unless your relationship is absolutely rock solid.

DH and I have been very lucky that living abroad has tightened our little family of four, but even so I do feel vulnerable that my status in the country is entirely dependent on him. If he leaves me, is sacked, something awful happens to him - tough, I've got three months to get out of the country. That is hard and does make you feel for those who really don't want to / shouldn't be with their other halves but are essentially trapped.

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