Anyone in Madrid?

[eggnog]

Are there any other Mnttrs in Madrid? Been feeling a tad lonely recently....

Thanks for that Eggnog - has really made me laugh!! Will keep you posted...

Dear Eggnog

Thanks for the spill on the schools! Another good thing about the Scand school is they accept as of age 2, whereas the rest say they start at 3.

It's funny about those puentes... you are totally right about them sneaking up on you! My sister in law is always on the ball and planned- I guess it's a spanish thing, living for holidays.

It should be very nice to spend xmas in UK with your family!
We flew with ds when he was 5 months, it wasn't too bad- and it was also a 3hour flight to Athens. We didn't plan on it but the friend who had introduced my dh and I 9 years ago, was getting married. My DS suckles for comfort so I brought a lightweight cotton blanket to cover us- He was asleep before we took off, played for a bit mid flight and some how managed to be asleep when we landed. We were worried about the whole pressure in the ears thing but some of the newer planes have better system for cabin pressure so it was no problem. We sat in window and center with the arm up between us. (It was a 3+3 config.plane, so we thought the aisle was a bad idea because the trolley tends to bump and with hot liquids being passed etc. Also ds is rather long for his age and the gap between the window and seat gave us an extra few cms.)

Some of my family lives in Hong Kong so we will be doing the long haul 22 hours travel time in January to see them. This one I really dread....

Have a restful day!

Dear Bebe: You'll do great! It's all in the mind and on the day meeting your bebe is your goal.
My birth experience was nothing to rave about (anyway unlikely to be an excerpt in one of those natural birthing, gentle method books I had read) - I had to be induced and after that I had to have an emergency caesarian- it was not as I imagined but for me the result was a healthy baby boy and his presence in my life is better than I could have ever imagined.

You probably already have packed these items:
a baby cap for your ds/dd to wear- we forgot.
Lots and lots of nappies - we underestimated!

Look forward to your post.

Thanks for the flying tips. I find flying stressful without a baby and with it is a nightmare. I have no idea how people manage with more than one child!

My birth experience wasnt a natural birth/ low lights and back rub experience either! All those books I read before hand as well..... but you are totally right in saying keep your eye on the prize. More than anything now i am proud of myself and my husband for what we acheived. having a baby seems such an everyday experience, but each birth is a miracle for the parents themselves. How have you found motherhood? is it anything like you expected? for me it has been a shock to the system. I cant beleive how much i love my baby. Maybe it sounds weird, but i couldnt imagine it when i was pregnant.

Bebe- make sure you know how to put the car seat in- we hadnt practiced and it nearly caused a divorce in the car park outside the hospital! Oh and feed the baby before you go home so they sleep in the car. it is a bit scary the first time you drive your baby and best if the baby isnt crying on top of everything else. (i learned this by bitter, bitter experience)

dear Eggnog,

Motherhood- to be honest it has its up-ups and downs... The up-ups are amazing and I agree with you that it's a kind of overwhelming love. (Something I have never experienced before for another individual.) The downs- I guess I just didn't really know fully what the job entailed and maybe a bit of me feels that it's harder doing it 'abroad.'

To be fair, my DH is very supportive but we also work together, plus we are about to move and we have some reformas to do so I don't want to dump too much on him. I get to work from home, it's more part-time computer/paperwork stuff so that's good- as I made up my mind that I didn't want to leave DS in a nursery until preschool. (Sometimes I even miss the ds when he has a 2 hour nap.)

But I guess because I do work from home and with feeding and napping, the feeling of being stuck at home is compounded. I guess that is the hardest part. Most of my friends, sisters don't have kids- their attitude towards me has changed or maybe I have changed. The ones who have kids are I guess too busy to write on a regular basis and have gone back to work. In some ways although I have gained so much, sometimes it feels that the rest of the world is moving somewhere without me- does this make any sense?

Sorry to blab all this...

makes perfect sense. none of my close friends in the uk have babies and they all think i have gone completely mad. sample opinion 'what do you mean you cant go out? just take the baby!' or 'maybe he has eczema cos you're a bit tense, relax and get some sleep' grrrrrrrrr

i have decided to keep ds home until he goes to preschool too. although, i am thinking about getting some more help next year so i have a bit of time to myself. even if only to clear out the cupboards or something.

i spend all day feeding, playing, walking him and of course, trying to get him to sleep, then as soon as he goes to sleep i am on the computer looking at pictures of him.... i am trying to concentrate on 'staying in the now' with him (sorry, awful psycobabble phrase) and enjoying every second, but it is hard sometimes and i feel guilty for not always enjoying him..... it is that feeling of dying to get away, then as soon as you do you miss them so badly it hurts.

it is compounded by being in a foreign place i am sure. it would make such a difference for me if i had my mother or SIL to call on, but i am making friends here and as i get my life with ds structured slowly things are getting more fun and easier.

by the way i love el pardo.... i think it is a great place to buy and often badger dh to look around there. la moraleja is convenient for us, but it is so ugly and suburban. we are renting here now, but i think i would feel better if i actually had my own house. you know? it would seem more settled.

anyway, here i am blabbing and it is wine o'clock

Dear Eggnog

I look at pictures of my DS too (I've got them sorted week by week) when he is asleep and here I was thinking I must be sick!!!!

I guess it's getting harder to talk to friends who have no kids and don't want them or friends who are single, as sometimes I really have to make an effort not to talk about DS. But when they ask about him, I tend to go on and on... Though I can remember a time when I would be feigning interest when a colleague at work went on about their kids.

You are right about life getting more structured once our DS grows up a bit more- when they get more and more mobile the time seems to go faster, instead of teething and being frustrated at not being able to communicate or move around. Ever since a couple of weeks ago, DS can actually sit upright for longer stretches (10-15mins) so he can actually play with stuff! This has given me time to brush my teeth and do some basic grooming :-) while he is awake.

I think it's the sleep thing too. It has taken its toll these months, sometimes I get a bit short with my dh- the poor thing. (I haven't slept more than 5 hours in one go on 4 occasions in the last 7/8 months. Usually DS wakes every 3 hours at night, but I get by and sometimes have to take a nap in the middle of the day- Where we are right now , we are a bit tight in space (which is also why we are making the move) so when DS cries in the middle of the night there is no escaping it- even when we try to give one another a break from waking up by sleeping in separate rooms.

ps. If you are interested in El Pardo, I know there are one or two on the market. I can email you the link, if you send me an email to fszepo at gmail dot com

Dear All Madrilenos

I'm down in Andalucia with a 2.5 DS and after all this time I still feel a bit lonely! We've just been back to visit family (MIL) and it was ok but DS doesn't really know who they are and it takes time to form these relationships.
When was DS I started doing Usborne Books at Home which has helped a lot (and there aren't many expats in my area). It's good to get out and about with a specific project in mind. If anyone else fancies doing it or wants to find out more have a look at my website: www.usbornebooksspain.com or CAT me.

Chicca, thanks! i had a look at your site and it was very interesting, what a good idea! great way to get out of the house and make a bit of money. i live in an area of lots of british schools so i imagine it would be possible to sell a lot of books. not sure i would make a good saleswoman though. am a bit pathetic in that area.

maamee, totally understand the sleep thing. ds wakes every three hours too so havent had much shut eye now for 9 months. like you i get a bit short with dh. felt so guilty this morning i have given him leave to go and play a round of golf so am on floor with ds and a ball (and mumsnet dh is very good but i am bf-ing so not much he can do to help at night. some days i feel great, others i am so damn knackered i want to curl up and sleep forever. feeling good today as ds's cold has gone completely and mine is a lot better. would love you to send me the links to el pardo inmobiliaria. i can indulge my property pornography

Hi Eggnog

I'm glad to hear you both got rid of your colds. It's a strange wet year, this one.

There are several property websites out there. (You probably know them all if you do inmob porn :-) like me...) We found our house in idealista.com, there is also segundamano.es and fotocasa.es. Anyway if you find that you are interested in the area, send me an email and I can give you more info from there.

We were also looking in the alcobendas area, it would be more convenient for schools and closer to my ILs but where we will be moving is a lot closer and faster getting into madrid, particularly into the area we are now- which we really like.

take care

Thanks maamee, will be enjoying my property porn perusal over a large glass of wine later.

bebe- where are you? didnt you say you were due to be induced the 13th? if you're about let us know and we will send up our special offering to the goddess of childbirth for you- what should we ask for- quick labour and an epidural? or are you after the full natural labour- whatever you require!

BTW of course you are welcome to our ice cream/coffee gossip mornings. i am going to st georges playgroup tomorrow at 11ish for the xmas party- so if you're free..... i think it is hermosilla and nunez de bilboa

Hi Eggnog
Well I'm still here...
Just back from the hospital and can't say I'm feeling very happy. The doctor this time was a brute - very defensive (clearly didn't like all my questions!) and not very pleasant at all (why is it always a different one??)Anyway stuck to my guns and refused an induction tomorrow as I feel its too early. I'm only 40 wks today but I'm measuring big (2 wks ahead according to them)The baby is healthy so I don't feel its reason enough to induce at this stage. Anyway they have given me 'til next Weds so I'm hoping and praying I've done the right thing and bubs will make his own appearance...
Oh when you're communicating with the goddess of childbirth it's definitely a quick labour as natural as poss for me please...!!

bebe, good for you!! i am no expert but i know several girls who were induced and it ended in a c section. not the end of the world, but not ideal. often it seems that if you are induced you dont progress much and they recommend a c instead of a long labour... they are a bit induction happy here in spain. there are lots of people on here who know what they are talking about so if you havent already- start a thread to get some good advice.

huge hugs to you- you're nearly there let me know what happens so i can keep in touch with the goddess.

So it's fingers and everything else crossed at the moment!
All as I can say at the moment is "Thank God" for Mumsnet!! I started a thread about refusing induction (Have I done the right thing?)this pm and have had some fantastic advice that has made me feel much better. It's true you ladies out there really know what you're talking about.
Eggnog seems you're right about C-Secs. There were three going on whilst we were waiting this morning!!! And the hospital here is tiny - Yikes

Hi bebespain

I will put a word in to the goddess for you too ;-)

All the best.

hi eggnog

I wish I could join you at the xmas party but trying to pack bit by bit before the move while ds is having his naps during the day. Perhaps next year?

What to do with the pile of clothes ds has grown out of already?

I never made it in the end. the man came to put the alarm in (lots of mad robberies in our unbanization recently) and has only just left. What to do with the baby clothes? i am lending the good stuff out and everything else is in boxes waiting for the next boy! ds is having a marvellous time today with the boxes from the shopping delivery- so much for expensive toys eh?

bebe- IMVHO it sounds like you have done the right thing. labour is easier if you go into it naturally. i dont know why, but they are very induction/ c section happy here. on the other hand you can be guaranteed and epidural if you want one, which is bloody fantastic. my obs wouldnt let me go over 41 weeks as ds had a big head, he came the day before the scheduled induction... and he came fast. 4 hours beginning to end!!

the docs here dont understand us brits wanting a natural vaginal birth as (huge generalisation coming) the spanish want pain free and quick so are happy with epidurals and c sections etc etc... they make a dreadful fuss afterwards if they had any pain. i was the poster girl in my hospital as i was such a buena chica the nurses love us brits as we are so stoic, the docs donty like us cos we make them do the full vaginal birthing routine. good luck and try keep us informed.

Just back from a very long walk...knackered!

Wow eggnog that sounds like a very positive birth experience! Four hours would do me just fine. Totally agree with every you say. It certainly seems the norm and I've noticed how the Spanish girls at my ante-natal class don't really ask any questions and just seem to go along with everything they are told. Their only concern seems to be getting an epidural straightway 2/3cms dilated!
I've been told lo is on the big side, am measuring 4kgs now but not due to gest. diabetes)which seems to be of greater concern than would be in the UK (I think?)
I know whatever will be will be in the end but would love to start naturally...please.... (says another little prayer)

Hi

My names Emma and i live about 10mins from torrevieja!! i have just found out im expeting my 3rd baby (5+5weeks) and have no idea what the plan is in spain can anybody help!!!!

[email protected]

Thanks Emma

Hola emjhill, do you have private health insurance? that's the first thing. and do you speak spanish? there are three levels of care. first is social security, second is private health care, with private doc and clinic and third is a doctor outside your health plan. usually the plan cover 80% up to x thousands of euros for a doc they dont have on their books.

it is v different from the uk. privately you get a check up and scan every month. i found a doc who spoke english but he wasnt completely covered by my insurance and our bill at the end was eye popping. my experience was generally very good and i felt looked after, but they are very quick with epidurals and c sections here. depends on you and how you want things to be.

there is a natural birthing clinic near valencia, but i dont know much about it. a friend gave birth there and was very happy.

hope this helps, and CONGRATULATIONS

Hi eggnog!

thanks for that no i dont have private medical insurance!

Getting quite panicky now as have we only just moved we arent registered to pay social yet either as we are working at my parents bar.
My dad pays social but i dont think that willcover me as i am now married

What do you think the best thing for me to do would be?
Em x

to get social security you need to get residencia. i am not sure how you go about it, but there are lots of websites that can point you in the right direction. search on google. if you dont speak spanish and have to go to a SS hospital it will be stressful. perhaps you could get a private doc for your check ups then go back to the uk for the birth???? private check ups are aound 100 euros a time in madrid. there is a huge expat community where you live so ask around there and you will get some good advice. good luck

bebe, 4kgs, what a whopper!! to take your mind off the birth...... if you are planning to breastfeed take a peek at the lalecheleague.org website and familiarise yourself with their advice to new mothers. i wish i had done before ds came!! i thought it would come naturally. it didnt.

ds was indeed quick but also......complicated was glad of the epidural. funnily enough i was far more afraid of that than the birth itself. didnt hurt though, hardly felt it.

Thanks for that advice Eggnog - that's next on my list of things to do (Don't actually have a list so am glad of your suggestion...
I think I too am more scared of having an epidural than the actual labour, funny isn't it? Just the thought of where they put the needle makes me cringe.....But then again the relief it can bring must be superb...
When are you off to the UK? Hope you have a great time

bebespain!

PLEASE dont worry about an epi!!!! they are AMAZING!!!!!!!!!

I didnt have one with my first but did withmy second and it was the most amazing thing!! will demand one with this preg and anymore there after!!

How are you coping with being preg in spain i am about 6 weeks gone and have no idea what to do!!! have only just moved and arent paying social or anything yet so havent got a clue where to go!!

Em x

bebe, i really didnt feel a thing when they did the epidural. they had to do it 4 times aswell as they couldnt fidn the epidural space. i repeat- didnt feel anything at all!!!! it was wonderful when it worked. it made me go abit shaky though, so be prepared, it is an odd feeling, but not unpleasant.

i am off to the UK on tuesday for a week. v sad though as my best friends's sister has died very suddenly, so i begin the week with her funeral really makes you think how precious life is and how transient...

anyway, have to cook big roast beef dinner this afternoon as have people coming over for booze fueled evening. hope i dont get pissed and maudlin.

emj, wish i could help more.... do you speak spanish?