I need some advice about moving to the US

[AnnikaHansen]

I'm a UK citizen and the possibility of getting a dream job and relocating to the US (specifically LA) has come up.

I would be following a lifelong dream if I took this opportunity, though not one I saw happening in the US, so I am a bit blindsided. I've been a SAHM/carer for seven years too, so to say I am unprepared would be an understatement.

My two eldest DSes both have ASD, and I'm terrified about relocating and losing their hard won school places here. It would also mean DH walking away from his business which he has worked hard on and will soon start to make much better money.

Added to which, I don't know anything about going to the US to work. How do visas and tax work? Am I right in thinking DH would not be able to work?

I am wondering if someone could walk me through the practicalities so I can decide what to do.

So to cover bases I think there are a few issues affect your decision:

1. DS's with ASD. In democrat controlled states like CA many school districts are excellent with helping SN children. Jump on the U.S. board to ask. Also call up school districts.

1. DHs business. Would he be able to run his business online from the US? If not what does he think he will do? Also, will your employer be moving you over on a visa that enables him to work. If not they need to cough up.

1. Your pay. It's not cheap in CA and healthcare costs can cripple you. If your salary is less than $120k and your DH isn't allowed to work I would decline their offer.

Congatulations on the offer! It's amazing to have such an apportunity after a long hiatus!

1. Look at [[https://www.autismspeaks.org autismspeaks]] and search community outreach in LA & resources, hotlines etc....

Great info there.

1. I'd only be happy to move in your circumstances if HR at your prospective employer was very supportive in the relication process. They should answer all those questions about your visa and DH's status without ambiguity and provide a thorough medical cover and relocation costs.

You need to work out if you are moving permanently and will be there as a local or on expat conditions. If it all fell over, how would you relocate home? Would your visa mean you can only work for your specific employer or could you change easily to another company if it doesn't work out?

Taxes are easily done on Turbo tax online, you are supposed to incl worldwide income, so be aware id you have investments etc in the UK.

Are there opportunities in the UK in your field? As your DH has a business and your DC are settled, I'm not sure I would go in your position. What does your DH think about giving up on his business and potentially not being able to work for a few years?

I'm in the US and can work, but as I'm linked to DHs visa, if we split up or he lost his job or was transferred elsewhere, I have 28 days to leave the country. Quite unsettling and is causing us stress right now as his employer actually does want him yo transfer somewhere and belatedly decided they don't want to pay for us to go as well.

I worked in SF for three years at the turn of the century and I had a brilliant time. However, you need to be aware that there is no security of employment. If a company wants to lay you off they can do it and you are gone that day. And if you are on an H-class visa that means that you have 28 days to leave the country. (I know this personally because I lost my job when the internet bubble burst and I had that long to leave the country).

Also, do you know LA? It's not to everyone's taste. I wouldn't want to live there. It's more of a suburban sprawl than a city and a good friend of mine who lived there really struggled to make friends, etc. I prefer SF or Seattle.

The visa is the first thing -- the company should have a legal team, or at least an immigration lawyer, who will manage the process. They should be telling you what visa they have in mind. I don't want to sound like a wet blanket, but be aware that many 'dream job' offers turn out to be basically impossible: the company has offered without any idea of visa realities (especially true for smaller organisations without experience of international staff).

As others have said, if you're on an H visa your husband won't be able to work. There is also usually longish timelag between applying for the visa and finally getting it, since H visas are usually oversubsribed and go into a lottery system at a set point each year.

There are some public (free) schools in Santa Monica now where there is funding for in-classroom helpers for children with Autism. So basically your child is in a mainstream class and if there is a kerfuffle of some kind the helper deals with it, takes the child outside for a chat, whatever.

I don't know how old your children are, but it is worth calling the school boards to find out which specific schools have this policy, because its not a widely advertised bonus. I only found out about it at my kids' school because a friend told me this is what her son was getting.

My cousin is an immigration lawyer in LA (roughly LA, might be SM or Malibu or Rolando). PM me if you want his name.

oh ps: cousin is a bit of a conspiracy theorist about autism. At least that means he must know a bit about local support & formal services provision!

I live in LA (have done for 3.5yrs) and got used to it a lot quicker than I thought I would - do not have autistic children but as far as I know a few of the good schools have SN children integrated in the NT children at school (DS's school does and it's part of LAUSD)

feel free to pm about life here

Are you all willing to drive? A lot?

You say that barkingfly, but its possible to avoid spending long stretches in the car.

We lived in Santa Monica for 5 years, you can nip about quickly there in the car, or walk. You can walk down to the beach and back. And there are dozens of buses you can hop on and off, which only cost $1 per ride.

If you need to get from say Pacific Palisades to Beverly Hills, you have some driving to do, but still, nothing too crazy, maybe 30 minutes.

Its true that LA is huge and sprawling but who needs to drive all over it, unless you're an uber driver, its practically no one.