Bizarre misconceptions about your home country

[NotQuiteCockney]

As a Canadian, living in the UK, people are always sharing some very strange ideas about Canada:

• It's really cold. No it bloody well isn't, not in the summer. It's hotter than the UK. Really.

• We have loads of beautiful countryside. Well, kinda. It's a long way away from everything, the countryside. We have no right to roam, and no footpaths, so it may well be beautiful, but that doesn't mean you can go see it. And as we have loads of it, we can put up ugly warehouses made out of corregated metal anywhere we like.

• It's very ecological. No, it's not. It's more car-dependant than the UK. Organic food is harder to get. And electricity is cheaper, so we use loads. And it's more of a consumer culture than here - more adverts on the telly, for one thing.

• It's cheaper. Not really. The taxes are quite a bit higher than in the UK. (Yes, really!) And work/life balance isn't great.

Which misconceptions are you tired of dealing with all the time?

two oranges actually - outside a service station in Gayndah and outside a caravan park in Mundubberra - both in citrus country in Queensland.

I generally don't worry about the convict thing. Just mention the average lifestyle back home (sunshine, family beach houses, cricket in the street, bbq's without the rain, pools in the backyard) and compare it to the average 2 up 2 down over here, and the weather. Usually shuts them up pretty quickly.

Was complimented on my good English by a nice man in Boston!
Another customer in the restaurant where I worked assumed I would use my tips to buy bombs!
As you do.

While living in the US i had this conversation many times:
Them: Where are you from?
Me: Belize.
Them: Where's that? or is that in Africa/the Pacific, etc.
Me: In Central America on the Caribbean Coast.
Them: Well your English is Beautiful!
Me: er, yes, we speak English there.

in the UK some of my conversations go like this:
Them: Where are you from?
Me: Belize.
Them: Where?
Me: (since most people seem to think Central America is part of America meaning the US, I say: in the Caribbean.
Them: Well I guess you like a bit of the Wacky Baccy then!

• "Belgium? Ah, yes, where exactly is Belgium? Is it near Sweden?"

I suppose it all depends on your sense of perspective.

• "You still live in Belgium? I suppose you must speak fluent Belgian by now."

Well, no, but then no-one does speak the non-existent language of Belgian.

Does it also irritate you that people say Hercule Poirot is the only famous Belgian?
Irrtates me, (he's fictional!!!!) and I'm not even remotely Belgian.

I can say 4 sentences in flemish!!

They are:
Can you water the plants for me please
I love you
Where can I get a man for the night
Will you sleep with me tonight

Brings back fond memories of an ex-fling I had in my pre DP days.

SNORT!

That's not very ladylike suzy!!!
:o :o :o

Belgians are very twitchy about the whole "famous Belgian" thing.

I can think of a few more - Jacques Brel, um, someone who did Asterix, and those horrible teen abduction guys ...

the TinTin man

oh hold on what about Plastic Bertrand

Was Herge Belgian? I thought he was. He lived in the SE of France for ages. And was a collaborator.

psml at 'Ulster says no' woman Tref.
I am brill at accents actually and can do Canadian even,with the curious vowels in words like 'about' and the intriguing inflections.

Agree re Americans having no clue about British Isles,even well educated people. have been asked if Wales is an island,and an Irish boyfriend,on telling an American he was form ireland,was asked which state that was in.

Have come across the French assumption that we have full blown Ritz style afternoon tea every day on umpteen occasions,also that we put mint sauce on all meat.

In Turkey,am regularly stoppped by yopung guys asking me to help get them a visa to Britain.

Re Wales,we don't all sing,speak in some ludicrous cod 'Valleys' accent,and say 'boyo' (Never heard anyone say it.)
Also Welsh is not devoid of vowels,they are merely represented by what an English speaker assumes is a consonant (eg. 'w' sound 'y' sound)but which are actually vowels anyway.
So there!

yes Herge = tintin man NQC. he is certainly Belgian - there is a Tintin shop in Brussels.

Do people really think welsh has no vowels? That's not possible, no language has no vowels. (Ok, written Hebrew has no vowels, but that's just because they're implied, iyswim.)

And, I'm afraid, moondog, I just don't believe you about the accent thing. Anyone can say "aboot" at me, but that's not actually my accent :-P

Anyone flying a St Gerge's Cross is a unthinking racist thug
apparently

I have one - went to tea at very smart Frenchwomans house.

She proudly served an immaculate "English tea" - fine bone china, leaf tea, little biscuits.

She poured the tea and offered me cream. "No thank you", I said "could I have milk please?" She puffed up and said in a very cold voice "THE ENGLISH ALWAYS, ALWAYS TAKE CREAM IN THEIR TEA; I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT", I mumbled that we take milk normally. She did a tight little smile and said once again "CREAM OR LEMON"

It tastes disgusting with cream - I know this for a fact...... bleurgh!

Kiskidee, I'm to say that I didn't know what language is spoken in Belize, I probably would have guessed French since the name Belize sounds vaguely French, well it ends in an 'e' which lots of French words also do. I do at least know where it is, well approximately. (Bran slopes off to find an atlas to make sure).

lol at these

re South Africa

-I got v fed up with the assumption that because my dad (and his family) are all white SAfricans, we must all be racist (this was very much the assumption around 20 years ago - a little bit better now)

re other African countries

• the fact that people could not contemplate that there were actually proper cities in these countries, we weren't all living in mud huts
• also the lack of African geography in most people is astonishing!

lol ggglimpopo
tea is such a minefield when you're french serving english people
dh taught my mum and I how to make a proper cup of tea when he first visited my parents
for years we had been drinking rather weak stuff apparently.....
we make great coffee though

When we get served tea, you can see their hands visibly shaking! And they never get it right poor sods! We drink PG Tips with milk in mugs - how hard can it be?

yes Rhubarb, but we want to impress our guests with proper teapots (only chance we get to use it) and stuff
mugs are a recent thing in France you know....
you should be flattered, people obviously think having you as a guest is a little bit like having the royal family over

But it makes me nervous for them! I'd be far happier with a mug! I've gotten used to drinking mint and lemon tea now and pretending that it's what we drink in England. Mind you, I suppose they think that our coffee is shit compared to theirs, not that I would know cause I don't drink coffee.

I shouldn't moan about them anyway, I'm only here for 6 more weeks and I'm gonna miss them all like mad!

oh Rhubarb.......

but yes english coffee is repulsive (although I must say it has got better in the 12 years I've been in this country)

hope you can make the most of those last few weeks
you should go down to st jean de luz if you haven't been yet, the beach there is so lovely and safe, great for kids, and it is a gorgeous town, you wouldn't regret it. If you leave Bx early you can have a great day out (and you must eat at Chez Pablo behind the market, it's full of locals and delicious and not expensive!!)