Bizarre misconceptions about your home country

[NotQuiteCockney]

As a Canadian, living in the UK, people are always sharing some very strange ideas about Canada:

• It's really cold. No it bloody well isn't, not in the summer. It's hotter than the UK. Really.

• We have loads of beautiful countryside. Well, kinda. It's a long way away from everything, the countryside. We have no right to roam, and no footpaths, so it may well be beautiful, but that doesn't mean you can go see it. And as we have loads of it, we can put up ugly warehouses made out of corregated metal anywhere we like.

• It's very ecological. No, it's not. It's more car-dependant than the UK. Organic food is harder to get. And electricity is cheaper, so we use loads. And it's more of a consumer culture than here - more adverts on the telly, for one thing.

• It's cheaper. Not really. The taxes are quite a bit higher than in the UK. (Yes, really!) And work/life balance isn't great.

Which misconceptions are you tired of dealing with all the time?

That we are really tight (I spend all my money all the time!)
That we all hate the english (I dont BTW)
That we run around the hills in our kilts hunting haggis and eating deep fried mars bars!

My sister (Scottish) was in the US and someone commented on how good her English was!!! She was also asked if we wore different kilts for summer and winter.

WTF??

hahaha at this thread
a few years ago I got anew Amercam boss and I flew out to Chicago to meet her.
at dinner I ordered the fruit salad and she said:

Stooopid Boss Oh yes I expect you don't get much fruit in England do you?

HC - er well yes we do have fruit.

Stooopid Boss - well where does it come from?? I mean you can't grow it yourselves??

HC - well we grow some of it and we import the rest rfom, you know, Spain and Africa...

Stooopid Boss from where????

then as we were leaving the restaurant it ws starting to sow and she said "I expect you've never seen snow before have you?" wtf??
and this was a well educated woman in her 40s.

Goodness me, HC, what idea did she have of England? Did she have it confused with the moon or something?

I like "Yankers," piffle!

There are plenty of annoying things about Americans, it's just that some of their worst flaws (I think) are different from the stereotypes.

DH and I breathed such a sigh of relief after we left a wedding where we were seated with a tableful of New Yorkers. These were sophisticated people who would rather die than have the kind of conversation Harpsicord describes, but talking to them still drove us mental and we felt relieved we'd moved away from New York. But it's subtle stuff that's hard to explain, more complex than stereotypes.

The following exchange floored me completely.
I'd gone to Philadelphia with a friend (another very English girl) one spring, and on our last day we went to K-mart (or Target or somewhere) to get some little presents to take home.
Seeing the vast display of garish Easter candy, including some astonishing things called Marshmallow Peeps, we collected a few boxes to take home.

Cashier: "So, you're buying Easter candy, huh?"
Me: "Oh, yes, - we don't get stuff like this at home!"
Cashier: "Oh, so where are you from?"
Me: "England"
Cashier: "England... don't you speak French there?"
Me: ....

Amanda: "Well, we learn it at school..."

I still haven't figured out what the cashier's thought process must have been.

my brother got asked 'is Europe in England?' while on a year's Fellowship in America. He found it hard to answer. Having said that, he is a Baptist radical himself (on the left though) so moved in some stereotypical-type circles.

Some friends of mine travelling in Morocco were constantly asked, 'Is it true that in England you have dogs in your houses?'
I just love the idea that there must be people in Morocco confidently saying to each other, 'Oh no, of course they don't do that, it's just a myth.'

oh yes I also remembered this lady asked me what I was doing for Thanksgiving three years running

The wife of one of my work colleagues (English) once said something that made me realise she didn't know that English was most people's first language in Ireland. (She was well educated too!)

I think the Irish win top prize for people massacring their accent. Have a good Irish friend, a Dubliner, and she says she's only heard two actors who weren't Irish pull off a decent Irish accent. One's Daniel Day-Lewis, the other is a Glaswegian lad who was in 'Inside I'm Dancing'.

DH despairs that in films, EVERYONE has a West Coast Scottish accent - or tries to mimick one.

when I lived...ahem ....abroad I frequently was introduced as " This is Kristina, she's from England"

Actually I'm from Scotland

Oh really? Is Scotland the capital of England?

'I stay in Edinburgh'.

'Oh, is that near London?'

[rolls eyes]

self-shame moment: the first time I went to Ireland (1994?) I stopped in the airport and asked my friend 'are there cashpoints in Ireland?'

I was also asked:

do you have dentists in scotland?

whats your presidents name?

how come you speak such good english?

what do you do for Thanksgiving?

I got "does Scotland have its own airport or do you have to fly via Paris?" from a US colleague the other day. Naturally I informed him that the correct way to enter Scotland is via Prague, and that he needed to apply for a visa on arrival.

I can count on one hand the number of English people pronounce my Scottish surname properly, even though it's not got odd sounds in it. Even my English friends massacre it!

When I was in Germany I was surprised at the number of people who would correct me when I put down my nationality as Irish "No you must put your nationality, that is British, Ireland is in Britain". I did stand my ground but some of them clearly thought I was deluded at best and member of a terrorist organisation at worst and I suspect one or two changed my form once I was out of sight.

Rather sweetly someone at my db's work in Paris confessed to him that they were worried about spending a month in the Dublin office because he couldn't speak Irish.

A taxi driver in Kuala Lumpur once complimented me on my good English, but it later transpired that when I'd told him I came from Ireland he's heard Holland.

in the US some lovely lady asked me whether we had electricity in France and if we had traffic lights?
I come from a village in the Correze area (near the Dordogne) but soon gave up explaining that to people in the US, I just told them that yes, I was from Paris

Oi Frenchie! I'm fed up of explaining that no I don't come from London or anywhere near London! When I say the North of England they just grin and say "Ahh Ecosse!"

And whenever we go anywhere for a wine tasting, as soon as they hear our accents their faces light up and you can almost see the money sign in their eyes! They fall over backwards to help us and get us to try this wine and that, usually the more expensive brands naturally, then when we ask for a bottle they look at us puzzled "une bouteille?" "Oui, une bouteille merci!" "Harrrumph!"

yes rhubarb we are simple folk in france
as well as money grabbing bastards of course
it's just that they want you to enjoy the best the country produces dahling

Had to mull over it a bit before deciding which home country to choose :)

That we have a fetish for fat men in black leather on two wheels. This is not true, we have a fetish for their black leather wallets.

That we have a fetish for fat men in viking outfits. In fact we do.

That we are an insular and closed society. Of course not, our welcome is in direct proportion to the size of your bank account.

That we do kinky things with cat tails. Actually we do but that is a national secret.

That we talk to fairies (ha ha ha). Why do people find this weird? Of course we do. And we are VERY polite to the local witches too!

sssandy, which country is that???
I love the ones I've heard over the years about England - we all live near London/Manchester/Birmingham/Glasgow (?), drink tea all day and eat cucumber sandwiches.

SSSSsandy

Are you in the IOM ?