Lieber Frühling, komm doch bald. A new Kaffeeklatsch thread for Spring - living in Austria and Germany

[Ploom]

All welcome - whether you're living in Germany or Austria, have questions about life in those countries or just want to chat.

Previous thread here

Antique I know how you feel, as I went through something similar when I last lived in Germany. In the end, I decided that I would stop worrying about spending time with the people I most enjoyed spending time with just because they happened to be expats too. Having said that, all but one of my closest friends there has now moved away so it's not always an ideal situation (although only one had children at the time; I think that people with children do tend to stick around longer). Now, I have quite a good mix of both expat and local friends; strangely enough, it's taken me longer to get to know other expats (few and far between here) than it has locals.

I thoroughly enjoyed The Help too; it took me a chapter or so to get into it, but I couldn't put it down once I had.

cheas That sounds like a nasty dose of the flu; hope you're feeling better now and are able to play at the concert.

DD1 and the boy now have each other's numbers and are arranging a day to meet; DD1 said they'd be talking about it at school tomorrow. She's gone on a theatre trip this afternoon, so no time to revise geography thank goodness - I suspect DH will do some revision with her when he's home from work, though.

It's parents' evening at primary school, but DD2's teacher said I didn't need to see her if I didn't want to as DD2 is doing fine, so I'm just going to see DS's teacher. I'd have had a 40 minute wait otherwise, so was quite glad to get out of it; I'm only with her for two minutes normally anyway. The teachers here don't seem to go in for all the over-the-top praise that they do in the UK (according to what I read on FB, anyway); if a child isn't having any problems, there's basically nothing to talk about.

antique Dh always says that Germans don´t do small talk (or maybe that´s just him ), so I think it can be hard to strike up conversations with strangers. I think as cheaspicks says, if you go a few times and start seeing a few familiar faces, it might become easier.

I really enjoyed The Help. I haven´t seen the film yet, but often find films based on books a bit disappointing.

Linzer I agree with you about the parents´ evenings. I´m always out in a couple of minutes with dd´s teacher because she´s doing well, so there´s nothing to talk about. Funnily enough I spend a lot longer talking to ds´s teacher .

This will be ds´s first Klassenfahrt, but I think he´ll really enjoy it. The Elternabend lasted a grand total of 15 minutes and in that time the teacher managed to talk about the Klassenfahrt, eine Lesenacht and Zeugnisse. I was pretty impressed because these things usually drag on for hours. I ended up going to the local Eiscafe with a few of the parents as we´d planned to be out for most of the evening, so decided to make the most of it.

cheaspicks I hope you´re feeling better soon.

hupa sounds like my kind of Elternabend! I wish ours were like that! Is your ds looking forward to the klassenfahrt?

Linzer have you been asking your dd1 a hundred questions about the boy? Or are you holding back and trying to play it cool ! My dd reckons she would only be interested in an American boy so there's no point me asking about any of the boys at school - maybe she said that to make sure I didn't?!

Antique I've been through the same thing with playgrounds. I used to go to a village playground when the dc were tots and as we arrived the other dc would gather up their sand toys and bobby cars and go home!! I did make a couple of friends at playgrounds so do keep going. MAybe the grumpy lot that were there today won't be there next time and you can get into a conversation.

cheas hope the concert can go ahead. I asked lentil about the kale and it's grünkohl and is available frozen in Rewe. I think it's seasonal and traditional in north Germany. They have a dish with Grünkohl and some sort of strong Wurst, smells disgusting!

Well, today was the yearly Zukunftstag for all dc from year 5 to year 9 so my 2 were 'at work'. Ds went for a visit on the psychiatric ward at the hospital and dd went to dh's lab to count cells for dh's student then he took her to the Mensa for lunch. Ds has been asleep since he got home and dd is revising for geography (it's Schalenbau der Erde, Vulkane and Erdplatten in year 8 Linzer just so you have abit of Vorfreude!)

cheas We've been to the playground a few times and seen the mums out and about. One was quite happy to chat a bit until the others arrived then I was just glared at and openly blanked. Sometimes they say hi, normally they don't. I've heard the same complaint from a few other people I know here too. Ah well! I don't want to soundalike too much of a misery guts, I do have some lovely (expat) friends, this morning just got me down a little.

Linzer Hope parents' evening goes well. How exciting about DD's 'meeting' :)

hupa it sounds like you had a nice evening at the Eiscafe! I haven't seen the film version of The Help either.

Sounds like your two had a busy day, admylin!

Best go, DS is angry that I won't let him fill my slipper with Duplo while my foot is still in it. A perfectly reasonable thing to be angry about :D

Good evening everyone I'm in a good mood because the sun is shining and some of the nappies I ordered for DS are here (I'm waaay too excited about them honestly)

antique that would really upset me if the same thing happened. I'm very happy to have met a couple of mums at courses that I get on with really well. It's also much easier for me to meet one or two people because then I follow what they are talking about. A group of four or more and I find it a struggle.

cheas so sorry you're poorly! I know a few people who have has awful flu thus winter (might also consider a jab next year... I think this year we were very lucky)

admylin I've thought about it and can't think if a good place... I don't suppose primark do something passable do they?? Otherwise ebaykleinanzeigen is usually pretty good.

Linzer your DD1 sounds so lovely. Can't wait for more of her dating updates

hupa thank you for the well wishes. I'm contemplating taking him to the dr again tomorrow for a quick check before the weekend...

We have "the help" recorded, I think DP can put it on a disc so we can post it if someone would really like to see it. I loved the book and although the film is never going to be as good it was still a really enjoyable film.

Oh we also have skyfall if anyone hasn't seem it (I luuurve Daniel Craig even if he is rather short it!)

hupa I forgot to say, that sounds like a great parents evening! I hope you enjoyed the ice cream

Oh, Nutella, you just reminded me: I still have Call the Midwife if anyone wants it. I really enjoyed it.

I really liked both The Hunger Games trilogy (though I found the 3rd one the weakest by some margin) and The Help (and also the film of The Help). When I lived in Belgium I would regularly get English language books through amazon.de but now I have switched pretty much entirely to the kindle app on the iPad. I said I would never give up hard copy, but then I went ahead and did just that! Oh well, I suppose it will make our move just that little bit easier.

We had found a house and were negotiating the lease when the owner decided she didn't want to rent the house out at all, so now we are back to square one. We've been searching around on Immobilienscout and have found another potential candidate, so I have my fingers crossed that we will be able to sort it all out soon!

I do definitely worry a bit about meeting local friends but hope that the fact that I will be working full-time in an office will help -- I hope that even though I will be an outsider initially, people will be won over by my winning personality.

Hope you feel better soon, cheas.
I lightly fry all the vegetables I put on my pizza before I put them on the pizza, so I just chuck in a couple of balls of frozen kale towards the end. I keep meaning to add it to the jug of hot water when I'm doing the yeast, so it's in the base, but it's always hectic as DS loves to mix and roll the dough, and I keep forgetting.

Antique, hope you aren't still feeling down about the unfriendly people. Give it time.

LT, ooh, how exciting re DD! :) Hope he is a nice boy!

Nut, yeah, my home used to be a right hippy haven. I loved it, but I now prefer a much simpler space, I feel lighter for having less junk. cheas, I have a long way to go still. Am wondering just how basic a capsule wardrobe I can manage. I tend to wear the same few outfits, but I keep a few things 'just in case' - but no just in case has come up in years! :)

Hello to everyone else!

Morning all! Just got back from the car wash, the car was really in need of a wash. Probably all that yellow tree pollen will appear in the next few days and ruin the shine!

Nutella I think I might be lucky in TKMaxx for walking shoes. Otherwise I've thought about going and trying some on in the sport shop and then once we know the size is good for a certain make, ordering it from UK as it'll be cheaper there for sure.

Tabitha how annoying about the house. Hope the other option works out.

At the car wash the front number plate came off, no idea if it was the pre-scrub by hand that I paid extra for or the machine but anyway they replaced the number plate holder but with a second hand one and it's also got a bit of plastic hanging off! I suppose thos ethings are cheap enough so I might se eif I can buy one.

Drama on the job front here! Dh's old boss rang for the second time to say not to accept the Berlin job. He said there's no way you can be employed by Dresden university and stay in Berlin long term. Dh won't consider a move to Dresden. It's complicated.

I can't hear the words car wash without feeling like I should breakout my finest disco moves. :)

Pizzas are in the oven, stretchiest bases I've ever made! Even remembered to add curly kale to the yeast, so it's in the base.

admylin, crikey, what a headache! Your poor husband, all this hassle. What are you going to do? What's wrong with Dresden?

Hi, wow I'm miles behind and no time to post properly, bit overrun here with visitors, dog sitting, DS 2's birthday, cake baking, parties... He had his tots party yeaterday, got to clean and ice cake no 2time and prepare home made pizzas (topical) ;) for the extended family descending at luch (MIL always turns up hours early...).

Just wanted to say admylin Aldi have walking shoes atm. Argh about the job madness!

Homework tantrum happening, off I go, waves to everyone!

MrTumbles from the fb pics it looks like your ds had a great birthday! I don't have a clue who all these figures are theat he loves! When my 2 were that age they didn't exist I don't think.
Here we have Aldi Nord and they didn't seem to have any wanderschuhe. Aldi sud has different specials (sometimes better too) and I also manage dto miss the lidl offer as they had them recently but all sold out now of course. I 've found some on sale for around 50? so will have to drag ds out to try them on.

Lentil Dresden is probably a great city but dh is abit scared of being too foreign looking as he's heard tales of racism. No idea if it's true or still up to date info but he doesn't want to risk it.

They have so far promised to match his pay atleast and the initial contract is 2 years but the boss said that's standard nowadays for universities and the project he'd be setting up is definately funded for longer and would take 3 to 4 years to get any decent results anyway so it should be safe

That's so awful, what a stupid world we live in. How unfair.

Hello everyone,

ach, I just can't keep up. I can just about read the posts, have attempted a reply a couple of times but gave up half way as the dc needed dinner, showers, help with homework - you know the story!

So another attempt, but not sure how far I will get.

admylin the decision sounds very complicated. How is dh feeling about it all? and you? are his present colleagues still being nice to him?

home-made pizzas sounds lovely. do all pizza bases have yeast in them? I don't get on with yeast, or at least haven't in the past. Maybe after nearly 4 years here I have absorbed the baking bread gene?

linzer any developments on dd1 and "the boy"? I have parent's evening next week. I have not been told not to come in - oh dear. Btw I have the 9th and 10th May off if you have time to meet up?

Friendships? I have also found it hard. I kept away from the ex-pat groups on purpose (not sure that was wise really), and making friends with limited german was hard at first. I had some similar experiences antique when we lived in the UK: just an unfriendly bunch at the playground. Remember: it's not you, it's them. But it might also be that they need to get to know you better. Are local people quite local? I am amazed by how many parents in dds school grew up in this part of town, went to the same schools, go to the same church etc.

tabitha any luck with the house hunting? It must be hard to do it from such a distance. Have you got anyone helping you at this end? Do you find you read more since you went electronic? I read a lot more, and am much happier for doing so.

We had a lovely time with my family. It was lovely to see all the children playing together. I miss them now. They stayed in a flat round the corner - no space here and we are on different timetables (my dc had to go to school and their cousins were sleeping until about 10).

Just heard a rumour that the school is going to have a Vorschulklasse next year. I am thinking ds might be better off there, or at least it has opened a new option. I am going to ask at Kindergarten and see what they say. He was stamped (that is how it felt) as fit for school but the head also tutted about him being an august boy, and how there are often problems. dh wants ds to be "tested professionally" to see what is best but I am not sure what that would be or who would do it . Part of the reason is that we thought that dd1's teacher would take on an 1. Klasse and we were happy with that. But she (teacher) is now pregnant and I am not sure about the other two teachers - heard some nasty things about them.

And my time is up as the dc are getting restless (ie noisy and fighting) and we need to get out. Hope you all have a nice day - sunshine is here! We had great weather while my family was here...they flew back to 7 degrees and hail. In Spain, at the end of April. Something is seriously wrong.

waves to everybody else!

I can't keep up either; the DC are around too much at the moment! DD2 and DS were off on Monday and Tuesday and then of course everyone was at home yesterday, so this is the first day I've had to myself for nearly a week. I also managed to accept some work on Monday before realising that it was a schulautonomer Tag, but luckily it didn't take too long and the DC managed to entertain themselves while I was working (mainly with the help of the TV, it must be admitted).

DD1 had her "date" on Tuesday, but she hasn't told me much about it other than the fact that they went for a frozen yogurt, she paid and they haven't arranged to see each other again. I don't think it's the romance of the century but it's good that she's meeting classmates outside school; she only really plays with our neighbours otherwise.

platanos Glad you had a good time with your family; sounds like their weather has now reached us! (Only DD1 wasn't woken by the storms in the night.) 9th and 10th sound good - will PM you. I can also recommend a child psychologist in the 19th district if you do want to have your DS tested.

admylin It all sounds very complicated on the job front and must be a difficult decision for your DH to make. I've been trying not to show too much interest in DD1's date as a) she won't tell me anything if I ask, and b) I don't want her to feel like she's under too much pressure (I wanted to ask her whether it was a "proper" date, but managed to restrain myself!).

Lentil at car wash.

Nutella I'd like to see The Help but at the same time am a bit worried about it not living up to the book. I kept looking out for it at the cinema, but it was never on on the rare occasions that we were able to go. I'd also be interested in watching Call the Midwife Antique; my parents watched it but they didn't record it for us (the cheek).

hupa Austrians do small talk, but I'm hopeless at it if it's someone I don't know. There's an elderly man who lives near us who's always trying to strike up conversation, but he's incomprehensible and there are only so many times you can say "bitte?". I usually just nod and smile.

Tabitha Good luck with the house-hunting. I can't imagine ever giving up proper books despite my Kindle - I like the look and feel of them too much. Apart from DH's books, that is; I wish I could get rid of all his yellowing and musty old books...

MrTumbles Hope party no. 2 went well. I'm so glad that my ILs aren't typical Austrians in that they don't expect us to have a family party for the DC as well; one party is more than enough for me!

Just got back from doing the big shop, did quite well and got meals for 5 or 6 days atleast. Would be good if I didn't have to go to a shop for that length of time too!

Linzer good news that your dd is making friends. I've seen The Help and it does cut alot out of the book as most films do but it's still great and definately worth watching! The book was great and one that I'll read again for sure.

platanos good luck with the vorschulklasse. Is it mainly the kindergarden people who decide/suggest that a dc should go there or can you push for it as a parent?

Job news: so we've figured out now that the pay will be about 500? short of what dh gets now as it's a Ost-Tarif and he's on West now and also he's on a higher scale than they say is their top scale (not sure if that's true or just part of negotiations) so he's fed up now because if they really want him then they should atleast try to be honest and make the position attractive.
To top it all, three of the Gymnasiums that I liked are full, one isn't taking any more pupils for year 9 and 10 and the others will only consider a year 10 if the average is 1,7. Ds is at 2,2 at the moment. Still leaves dd with less options.
It's starting to look as if we'd stay put if he goes for it (even if we change the flat for a smaller, cheaper one).

That doesn't sound ideal admylin, particularly if they're not being honest with your DH. What a hassle for you with the Gymnasien as well. Is there any way he can negotiate a higher salary by telling them that the job would involve him taking a pay cut? From what I've heard, rent in Berlin isn't exactly cheap either.

Our KiGa had virtually no involvement with the starting-school process; DS's Kindergärtnerin did say that she thought the Vorschule would be the best option for him, but only after I'd asked her. It's basically all decided on the basis of the two hours they spend at school in the spring being observed at various Stationen and then in a discussion with the headteacher. It does seem to be up to the parents a lot of the time, though; DS's friend would normally have gone into the 1. Klasse but his mother asked if he could go into the Vorschulklasse and it wasn't a problem. Another boy from their KiGa was supposed to go to the Vorschulklasse but his parents wanted him to go into the 1. Klasse, so he did (and ended up changing schools, but that's another story).

Am meeting a friend for coffee in a bit and then have another friend coming round for coffee this afternoon, so must go and do some baking now... I'm going for my default brownie option, as I don't have time to look for another recipe!

Linzer now I remember the system you went through with ds! It's a strange method really isn't it? I suppose if it also seems to be up to the parents a lot of the time, then platanos needn't worry about getting her choice of vorschulklasse.

Oh the joys of having dc in the school system! I'm so glad that I can see the end of it all sort of approaching us fast now. In 2015 ds will be getting ready to start his last year! Although, I wonder if it just transfers to worry about university even though they'll officially by adults by then!

Well, it could be different at platanos's school; so much here seems to vary from school to school. It is a bit of a strange method; the reason we wanted DS to go to the Vorschule was quite different from the reason we were called in to see the headteacher to discuss the Vorschulklasse - they didn't pick up on his writing skills at all (our main concern and also his Kindergarten teacher's, which she'd spoken to me about previously). Personally, I think KiGa should have more of an input as they're the one who sees the child on a day-to-day basis, how he/she is around other children, what their concentration is like, etc.

If DH's niece is anything to go by, the worries just continue when they go to university. They were about to send a taxi for her in the middle of the night recently... no idea what's going on now though; we're not officially allowed to know anything anyway.

Must go and check on the brownies, think I can smell something!

I'll pop Call the Midwife in the post for you on Monday, Linzer. Have a nice afternoon with your friends and enjoy your brownies -I'm tempted to start making some now too but I know as soon as I crack an egg or something similar DS will wake up. I don't think he's feeling very well at the moment so will only want to cling when he wakes up.

What a hassle, admylin! It all sounds so badly organised and almost secretive, but I suspect that is maybe to do with the way they organise things. How did you get on with the email?

Platanos Good luck with the Vorschulklasse for your DS. I think it's really positive that that is an option. Glad you had a nice time with your family. I'm trying to persuade mine to come over for my 'round' birthday this year but I don't think they will. Saying that, my brother arrives tonight, yay!

Good luck with the house hunt, Tabitha. Was it you who was moving to Wiesbaden? If it was I can ask around to see if anyone knows of anything available. we found our house through word of mouth (although I'm sure that's not normally how it works here.)

Hello to everyone else! Sorry I don't have time to post properly, I seem to have a million and one things to do this afternoon but I need food before I even think of starting so I'm off to find something tasty.

That would be fab, thanks Antique. No rush though, as we're in the middle of a Downtonfest at the moment and have only just started watching the third series. Have a lovely time with your brother btw.

The brownies turned out quite well in the end; friend asked for the recipe, which is definitely a good sign! Now I just have to translate/convert it (it's an American recipe)... Had a nice chat with her, although was a little at some of the things the teacher said to her at the parents' evening last week (she started off with "Well, your children aren't the best in the class"!).

Also had a lovely morning with my other friend - my social life seems to be like buses at the moment - although it felt quite surreal discussing her starting chemo, buying a wig, etc. Luckily it does seem to have been caught at a fairly early stage so that's one positive at least.

antique Hope you managed to get something done yesterday afternoon. Have a great time with your brother - how long is he here for?

I get on really well with my brother but he said something which upset me. He said I have it good here, with no older relatives to care for, or worry about. Of course he is right in a way. But on the other hand I miss my family lots, do worry and feel frustrated because I can't do much when they are ill. Besides I don't have any family support. I am sure everyone here knows what I mean, and I don't think we "have an easy deal". Or do we? It might not be a particulary hard deal but it is just different....

linzer hope all goes well for your friend. Fingers crossed. Glad the brownies turned out fine. Niece sounds a bit precious?!

admylin are the cupboards empty yet?!?! Do you feel better now that you have made a decision about the job? As for vorschulklasse, as linzer says a lot of it has to do with the parents. Athough I could say what I want and probably get it, I am just not sure of what would be better. DS was only assessed at the school for one hour in february (in a group of 6). I had not really given it much thought because until this year, our school did not have a vorschulklasse - vorschulkinder went into an 1. Klasse but were treated differently. If children who had been seen as okay for 1. Klasse struggled (in the first weeks) they would be treated as vorschulkinder for the rest of the year. But that seems to be different now. I have made an appointment with the Kindergarten staff next week so will see what they say and take it from there.

Off to get ready for swimming. Then going out for dinner tonight with the daughter of dh's cousin who is in town. dh and her got on really well. She made me feel like a real mum when she came round for dinner once (on her travels of the UK) and after eating said: "I have not eaten so well in weeks!" She's in her late 20s and just got married - curious to see who the lucky man is. Especially as a few years ago, she was in Australia, got involved with some sect and her family were really worried about her. She then came back, and decided to become a physio. Huge sigh of relief from the family .

have a fun day, and may the sunshine be with you.

Huhu [mile] I'm jut checking in briefly as I've been meaning to or weeks. It's very emotionally draining at the moment and we are not the on,y ones who are quite concerned about ds1. we started the other med today, and also I am determined to stand up to that witch of that Autismusverein. I mentioned last feb I think that I was having problems with them....and it's just really resurfaced again . Basically, they are ok as long as I don't once and opinion or different point of view. And I am too much of an 'engagierte Mutter' to just accept everything others say and do with my dc.

admylin I'm sorry it didn't work out in the end for your dh. And I really hope that his current boss will continue trying to keep him as an employee.

patanos I know how both you and your brother feel. I moved home hn my mum was terminally ill, and my dad was - partly because of my mum's illness- on the brink of suicide. I am soooo glad that we did make the decision o MV back to Germany, being able o spend lots f quality time with my mum, bing there for my dad when he waned to give up. I wouldn't change it for the word. And I am pretty sure that my brothers often wished they lived a bit closer. But sometimes it was difficult being the only chid out of four actually physically there. With my own problems as you know. And I did sometimes feel like my brothers had the better deal. Although still, when it came down to it, and especially looking back now, I am eternally grateful for the time I had with my mum. Much much more than my brothers did. I know everything about how she felt, how she looked etc etc - so I an really understand why you would feel hurt y wat your brother said!

antique lots of fun with your db

linzer hope your friend makes a full revovery!

Charlie, the dog, had hs first day at school day. He slept for hours afterwards!! And dh has his left in a cast, because he tore a tendon bouldering last weekend. He has an mrt booked fr Monday to see f he needs an op. apart from that e erything s as chaotic as usual

Waves to everyone I - once again missed!!!

Sorry for all the typos!!! I guess it shows I'm not spending enough time on my iPad, as I've still not got used to the keyboard ...