2013 ist schon da! A new Kaffeeklatsch thread for the New Year - living in Germany and Austria

[LinzerTorte]

All welcome - whether you're living in Germany or Austria, have questions about life in those countries or just want to chat.

Previous thread here.

ok I've made myself a cuppa so can finally post properly [bsmile].

I like the fact that there is a variation in when the dc can start school especially if there is any question of them not being totally ready but I do find the difference in age quite obvious in the 1. Klasse. Think it settles down in the following years - although dd can tell you the age range of her 6. Klasse, they all seem to be on a similar level with regards to learning. Agree with mrtumbles thats it quite common for the late summer born boys to wait a year altho ds didnt. Also agree that the only parents who put their kann kinder in school when they dont need to are the typical pushy parents. You know the ones who believes their precious dd is a child genius and could perhaps skip the 1. Klasse alltogether [bwink].

linzer - hope you get the tax return sorted out - I dont envy you either.

hupa - that sounds like a fun day the dc are having. Very sensible from the teachers to let the dc enjoy the snow while its there altho you're right - they'll be bloody freezing standing about.

oh platanos - pre teen girls!! what can I say?? They can be so cheeky at times and so stroppy if they dont want to do something then they can flick a switch and be so loving and fun and you wonder what happened! Thankfully we're getting 80% of the good with my dd (11) just now but god when she's awful she is really awful.

nutella - oh you have all my sympathy about the IL's. I have had my troubles with my IL's in the past and having seen how they have been to my BIL & SIL with their baby then I dont think they have learned anything. I think its good for you and DP to state boundaries but maybe your FIL was trying (cackhandedly obviously) to say the same thing. Maybe it would be good to set a schedule with them that they come over every Thursday afternoon (for example) then at least they wont pop in unannounced and as your ds gets a bit older and doesnt need fed quite so often then they can take him out for a walk etc. I imagine they are so desperate to spend time with you all but they're just not going about it the right way at the moment and if you can get some kind of plan that suits you then it'll keep everyone happy - especially you, dp and ds - and make life so much less stressful.

outnumbered - glad the dc are a bit better but think a trip to the doctor will probably put your mind at rest.

mrtumbles thanks for that explanation. I guess I could look up the cut-off date here, but it's not relevant for dd with a May birthday anyway.

outnumbered surely as a mum of three you know the one fail-safe way to get a little one to sit still? I used pre-recorded episodes of 64 Zoo Lane, at 10 min long it was ideal for five minutes of Rotlicht per side.

platanos that's really interesting to hear how your family has managed the multiple languages. I suppose any plan to stay consistent must go out of the window if you suddenly move somewhere you weren't expecting to end up.

I walked to work in my Uggs yesterday and they kept my feet very cosy, so at least I can cross off flat-soled winter boots from my list of stuff-I-think-I-need-after-reading-Katy-Says. I wonder if dh will let me hang some gymnastic rings from one of the beams in the living room...

Was that aimed at me, ploom?

IT'S NOT ME, IT'S MIL!!!

Just got back from the paeds. He's given us a prescription for ABs but said to wait and see how he is over the weekend. At least this way I have something here should we need it!

What can add even more to the big age spans in school classes is how academically struggling children have to sometimes repeat a school year. Just imagine a child who did t start school until it was 7, and then repeating 2 years... I did Abitur with a lad who was 21!

ploom how annoying about your car!!! My dad always very wisely says 'Auto fängt mit Ah an und hört mit Oh auf!' we have had do many expensive repairs with our bloody espace since we bought it 3 years ago. I really want a new car, but that will have to wait.

On my phone so can't namecheck properly. It's dh' birthday, and ds1 us so excited about it. But unfortunately he'll be home late again tonight so the boys won't actually see him. I had to promise ds1 that we'll have a little birthday party for dh tomorrow.

Right ds3 complaining about earache again so must give him some nosespray (if he let's me) and calpol.

Sorry to everyone I forgot to mention

Hupa I wouldn't say all teenagers are a nightmare but with dd we're going through a sulking teen stage at the moment, nothing is exactly how she wants it to be and everyone else has it better than her etc!
platanos did your dd end up saying sorry atleast? I wonder if it could be an influence from her friend (where she wa slast night)? Dd has lovely friends at the moment but she did have a friend who was a little diva and very cheeky to her mum and it kind of rubbed off on my dd too. Not for long thank goodness and that was in year 4 so she was 9 maybe.
Nutella it's good that your dp got it all sorted with his parents. Hope you can sort out some suitable grandparent time for your ds and it might mean some time off for you both later when you need it! It's just all abit early to be thinking that far on.
ploom how's dd coping with speaking? Great that she is able to eat though. I think my 2 are extremely sensitive types and ds is male anyway so took him longer to cope!
I can't get warmed up today and just want to go back to bed, don't want to go out either but I have to go to dd's dyslexia training later (then I'll post your dvd and book weissdorn) and get some shopping.
Hope everyone has a relaxing weekend.

cheas unfortunately ds3 doesn't care too much about tv!! He'd rather to something more active.

No no no cheas (although I can imagine your MIL saying it). Had a friend here in mind who said it about her dd (who went to school at 5, nearly 6 - didnt last the first month & had to start again the next year). Glad your boots worked out & no I'm not sure your dh will let you hang anything in your lovely new house!

Happy birthday to your dh outnumbered. like the saying about auto - its oh so very true.

admylin - it is so cold outside I can imagine why you didnt want to go out. Dd is coping ok with talking - wonder if its because they've only done the top teeth?

ploom we have a family in our neighbourhood who moved here from oz 2 years ago, although he is German. They did everything in their power so that their middle son could start school, even though he was only about to turn 5!! Their argument was that in oz he would be already in s school too. He is now 6 and in year 2. Although he is the youngest by far, he is doing well I think. They are planning to do the same for their youngest.

outnumbered hope your ds's earache is better soon. Can he hold a warm cherry stone cushion to his ear? That always seemed to help my 2 when they had it.
Have a nice birthday celebration tomorrow. Good that your dh has the weekend off, mine goes in to check on his student whe is only half capable of being left in the lab by himself!

We put dd in school early when she was a kann kind as she was bored at kindergarden. She's managing OK but if she ever did have to go back a year it wouldn't matter as she'd still be with her age group. Ds is 14 and has quite a few 16 year olds in his class!

ploom that's good that they only did the top teeth. Wonder if ours will do that - it's all a mystery and we have no idea what's going to happen at the next appointment.

ploom that's a relief. Tee hee at your friend, though, that must have been a nice rush of schadenfreude when she had to tell you. MIL told me recently that she'd already asked a teacher friend of hers about it .

outnumbered of your non-tv-watching child. DD would happily watch tv all day if given the chance (only happens on long car journeys). It doesn't help that DH thinks watching tv is a real treat and wants to spoil DD by letting her watch and MIL bought various age-inappropriate dvds as soon as she realsed that DD enjoyed watching (this is not a surprise, MIL, most small children will stare a brightly-coloured moving pictures accompanied by loud music, and, while I'm on the subject, it's also really not surprising that she likes chocolate and gummi bears).

Thank you for that link, hupa! It has made things a bit clearer. I haven't even registered DS for Kiga yet so should do that before I start worrying about when he starts school! Did your DC enjoy their morning of rodeln?

Nutella It sounds like it was definitely a good idea to mention something to your PIL now rather than have it eat you and your DH up over time. As others have mentioned, this is the time when you could probably do with avoiding extra stress! My FIL used to make all sorts of comments too when DS was tiny and bf'ing for 2 hours at a time and I wish I had said something at the time as it used to really get to me and it's got to the point now where I'm so fed up with his comments that I've told DH I won't be going with him next time he goes to visit his DPs. That's a whole other rant though, I just wanted to say dealing with it now is better than letting it build up. As Ploom said though, they are probably just over-excited and have forgotten what it's like to be the parents of a newborn.

Ploom Hope the repairs aren't too expensive!

Linzer Good luck with your tax return. Hope you have a lot of coffee and Hobnobs to hand to get you through it.

cheas Were your Uggs waterproof in the end?

admylin Go back to bed. Go on. You know you want to....

outnumbered Enjoy the birthday party! How sweet that your DS was so excited :) How is the earache now?

DS is whacking me repeatedly with Meg & Mog so I should go. Sorry I couldn't namecheck everyone. Have a lovely weekend!

weissdorn I've been to the post office so there's a parcel on the way to you! Yours arrived today, so looking forward to watching it - thanks.
Also went to Lidl quickly and it was freezing, my hands were freezing just from pushing the ice cold trolley. I've got 15 minutes to warm up then off to drop ds off at table tennis. Then it's weekend endlich!

Dd has just announced that she'd rather like to get up really early and go into the city centre tomorrow with me. Not my idea of fun in these temperatures. I'll be thinking of you ploom with your early ski start too!

Thanks so much for the advice and links and apologies for the tardy reply, cups of tea and a keyboard are not a good combination...

Potential new job still in progress, will check links out

Ploom how did it go with the car repair? Hope the ski lessons are a sucess?

Outnumbered hope your DS has fun at the birthday party. On the subject of the Australian-German family who sent their son to school over a year early - he may be fine academically but I would really question that decision socially - maybe he can get away with being a cute precocious little boy at primary - but at secondary he is going to be hitting puberty, learning to drive, allowed to drink beer and stay out later etc. etc. massively later than his classmates, and unless he is physically big and strong and physically advanced for his age the difference is going to be constantly obvious, no boy especially wants to be significantly and obviously smaller and younger looking than his friends - in some cases its just how it is and can't be helped, but to deliberately put your child in a situation where that is almost definitely going to be the case seems a little - well short sighted at best! I would imagine there is a huge extra potential for bullying, isolation and confidence issues... sounds like a minefield to me!

I was going to reply to the bra size after bf thing to say I am now a good 3 cup sizes bigger and 1-2 back sizes bigger than before kids - I bf each of the 3 for a year roughly - but I am also 3 dress sizes bigger so I don't think my data can be considered a valid contribution to the survey I am theoretically trying to lose the weight, so I guess I'll know the truth about the effect of BF if when that happens!

good morning!
we have had a surprisingly quiet night. had to change ds3 bedding twilce as the coughing has made him sick, but after that he slept calmly and quietly until 6.
ds2 is having a very 'autistic' phase with lots of meltdowns and loads of echolalia. although it can be quite funny (like when he tells ds1 things like 'when you have your own house then you can do things the way you want it' in completely inappropriate circumstances) it cian also be very annoying when he parrots everything.

*mr tumbles' I agree, it's short sighted, especially as he is SOO much younger than his class mates. people have suggested that ds1 could skip the first year. and my reply was always I rather have him bored at school for a bit than stand out even more. he is giving children enough reasons for bullying anyway, I dont need to fuel it any more.

anyway, chaos here. will try to post some more later.

Btw I'm surprising dh tonight. Have organised a babysitter and am taking him to the cinema - first time post dc I think. Any suggestions what to see?

Good Morning all :)

outnumbered I hope a good sleep ones DS3 a world of good! Sorry, The only thing i now that is on at the cinema is Les Miserables. Which I have heard is good... Depends if its your thing though... Hope you and DH have a lovely time at the cinema!

mrtumbles how is the sleep training going?

DP spent most of yesterday still stewing about the PIL; but we had a visit from some friends who were really lovely, and his father is at least as controlling as FIL. Anyway he said a few (funny) things about how he has had to have words with his dad (otherwise he turns up unannounced knocking on their patio door to be let in, he only lives about 1km away) and DP seemed just that bit more relaxed by having someone else in a similar situation tell him basically that he isn't a bad son.

This morning he looks much brighter, so hopefully a nice chilled weekend ahead for us.
The formula top-up we've been giving DS seems to be helping us all sleep much better. Think the longest block we have had was 4 hours, much better than last week! But the last two nights he has jumped from drinking 30-50ml to taking about 60 :o next week is the U3... He's going to be a little porker soon!

The last time I went to the cinema I saw Ritter Rost (with DS1) while DD and her friend watched Vampire Schwestern on the next door screen, the time before that we saw Hüter des Lichts... I go the cinema quite often - but always to see kids films :o Last time I went to the cinema with DH was one of the Matrix films in about 2004 I think :o Have fun outnumbered

Hello Nutella - cross posted, glad your friends were able to give you and esp DP some perspective on the FIL issue and help you both feel better about it!

Sleep training has mostly gone to pot as DS2 had a fever at the begining of a bad cold and is now left with a really bad cough, which makes it really not humane IMO! But the one thing that has stuck and is working is getting him to go to sleep in his own bed in the first place - he is in a bed now, he hated being put in the cot awake but he gets into bed happily (he shares a room with DS1) and falls asleep during stories, which the kids all listen to together in the boys' room, or sometimes I have to sit by his bed a bit longer after I've finished, but he goes off to sleep in bed which is nice and a huge improvement. He usually wakes coughing within a couple of hours though, and I comfort him and get him back to sleep but he wakes again by about 1am, after which I have reverted to sleeping with him, or sometimes getting him back to sleep in his bed but sleeping on the mattress near by as from that point of the night on he is coughing himself awake much more frequently and coming looking for me, so it doesn't feel worth going back up to the floor above where our room is, and it doesn't feel right to be strict when he is coughing himself awake rather than waking for no good reason/ just for company or out of habit. I will go back to being firmer about not sleeping with him once the cough has gone!

Gute Besserung to all poorly ones....there seems to be a lot of bugs going round.

Just a quick post to say thanks for the kind words on dd and teenagers. She is mostly good so can't complain but there are some aspects of her little character that annoy me . admylin- the girl she was with is an only child and rather sweet- I think dd was showing off a bit in front of her. She does have a cheeky friend but somehow that make dd more subdued and reasonable.

outnumbered have a great time. I have not been to an adult movie since pre dc so no use. colleague said latest tarantino film was good (I did not let on that I had no idea he had made a new one...wasn't reservoir dogs his last one? ). Maybe have a conversation about "wouldn't it be nice to go to the cinema soon?...what could we see?....". To answer your question I work at a children's organistion - it is the one I follow on FB.

on bra sizes- mine stayed the same but I went up a dress size so I guess that means they got smaller . But I have no words to explain the changes in shape and consistency.

ploom how did skiing go?

must go as we are out of milk and toilet paper and these are not things we can do without!

outnumbered what did you end up seeing last night? DH and I went to see Skyfall while in the UK - probably our first cinema trip since the last Bond - but then I can't face watching dubbed films when we can stay in and watch British tv! We have season tickets for the symphony concerts here, so we get out together once a month at least.

mrtumbles sounds like you are making some progress with your ds2's sleep. Lots of sympathy for the coughing, our nights were also always much worse when dd had a cough and I think you're right not to be too strict atm.

I was trying to tell to DH about the starting school early debate on here, but he got confused as your real name is the same as my mum's . Worryingly he seemed to be inclined to agree with MIL and not really understand the arguments against starting early/in Y2 .

I cut about 2" off DD's hair after her bath last night. DH hasn't said anything yet. Wondef if he'll notice?

Morning all,

Hope everyone had a good weekend. We went into Vienna on Saturday as DH had been given tickets to the Time Travel museum for his birthday (very good, although DS found the 5D film a bit scary); it was only just round the corner from our favourite Indian restaurant, so we went there for lunch and stocked up on takeaway.

After several reminders from DH, I've booked our flights back to the UK for the summer. I was pleasantly surprised by the price (especially considering that we'd given up on the idea of going back at Easter as I couldn't find flights to anywhere in the UK for much less than ?1000); it came to only just over ?400 (including luggage - for the flight over at least - and priority boarding). Now just need to book an airport hotel and a hotel in Oxford, as DH is planning on joining us there towards the end of our stay before we all fly back together.

It's snowing again here today, so the tree in our garden has had a temporary reprieve. DH is quite frustrated about it as everything was arranged (he'd taken the day off work, FIL had arranged to come, MIL had already cooked gulash for the tree men ), but there's nothing we can do about the weather.

Weissdorn I know what you mean about socialising in German. By the time I've worked out what I want to contribute to the conversation, it's usually moved on.

cheas I would also far rather stay in and watch British TV than go out to watch a dubbed film.
What did you end up going to see outnumbered? I don't have a clue what's on at the moment (the fact that our local cinema shows dubbed blockbuster-type films 99% of the time means we rarely go); it must be getting on for a year since I last went to the cinema.

Ploom Hope the skiing went well. Do you have your car back now?

Hello! We ended up watching Skyfall. I let dh choose (as long as it wasn't going to be Django Unchained ). The dubbing used to really bother me, although I find it much worse on tv shows for some reason. We really liked it. No big surprises, typical Bond, but it was fun. There were a few German romantic comedies on as well, but dh didn't fancy it

We really must go out to the films more often. When we go out for dinner, I am always slightly disappointed as the veggie choice never wows me, so I think in the future we'll use our babysitter nights for the cinema.

Yesterday was hard work. Ds1&2 are having an intense phase, ds3 still not well but refused a daytime nap and was in a foul mood all arvo.
Got ds3 still at home with me today and Judy put him down for his nap. Fingers crossed he'll actually sleep today!

linzer I am also currently trying to work out if we can afford to go to Wales in the summer. Last year our friends from Swansea came to stay here and we'd really like to go and see them. My friend is trying to see if we could get into the student house next door to them for cheapish. They have 2 children, and one if them also has autism - 5 children, and three of them with autism, is just a little bit much for one house I think . I think we would try to drive over which I will probably regret later

I can't remember what else I was going to write. But ds3 seems to be quiet upstairs so I'll make the most of it and have a little snooze myself

I hope everyone has a good week!