Die Kaffeestube - German and Austrian cyber Kaffee und Kuchen

[admylin]

Kaffeeklatsch for anyone in a German speaking country or interested in German, Kommt herein und setz euch!

admylin x-posted earlier. Could you not put a better light into your Gästeklo? We will have three bathrooms in the new house (one is an ensuite for the guest bedroom, so two in regular use). Hopefully we'll avoid those fights!

Silken I've thought about it but the wires are really mixed up and I don't want to get an electrician in when it should be the evil landlady who sorts it out.

In the big bathroom I tried to put up a light but it didn't work, only the light above the mirror goes on when I flip the switch so it's not much better than the small Gästebad. Strange!

One of the nice things about our holiday in Dhaka, MIL has a big spacious house with 10 rooms and 5 bathrooms! I wish we could move out of this place - as soon as possible. I should play Lotto amd Samstag maybe otherwise not much hope!

The teens are not fighting tonight! Dd has installed Skype on her laptop with help from her brother so she can skype with her friend and do homework together so all are happy and both got good grades in latest tests today so all happy. It's good for them to get an Erfolgserlebniss now and then!

Hello Everyone!

Sorry I have not kept pace with the thread and can't keep what has been going on with everyone in my head!

Am a bit frustrated today as believed I was going back to work on Fridays next Feb (long way off but childcare has to be arranged well in advance, which I had done) went in for a meeting on Wed - they want me back 2 days a week instead of one - different days - and from Sept instead of Feb as the lead teacher is going on maternity leave... said initially I'd consider it, if I could sort childcare - then it turned out they are wanting to still pay me only ?400, which was OK given it is tax free when I was doing one 6 hour day plus 2 hours preparation at my own convenience day, but absolutely not for 2 days! Since then have been emailing back and fore and decided it was not worth it and resigned, but they replied to the resignation email arguing black is white essentially (now offering me 8 hours contact time and suggesting I do my preparation during that time, while the students are busy working, which clearly is totally impossible as these are 6-10 year olds in an "Aktive Schule" environment where sitting in silence is never a requirement, not 6th formers doing 2 hour practice exams... plus requires me to pay for more childcare)! All the communication with them has to be done in German which is unbelievable frustrating for me as my German is good enough to understand what they say to me but not to express myself properly in a reply, so I am having to ask DH to re-write my replies to them - argh! So frustrating when you think you have something sorted and it all turns into a frustrating mess you wish you'd never started!

A few mums with kids at Gymnasium have asked me if I'd do Nachhilfe for a 10th class Prufung - does anyone on here do Nachilf? They are saying they would want me to speak only English so not being able to explain requirements of an exam syllabus in German etc. would be no problem. Would I have to set up as self employed with all the paperwork, tax and health insurance complications that would make it unworkable does anyone know?

Sorry that's all very me-me-me, just wondered if anyone knew? Very on my mind atm. Not even sure I really want to be working, even preparing for my VHS classes gets frustrating with Henry not napping reliably, and the house is a state all the time, but people seem to think I should want to work... whole different issue really!

Thatis that sounds an absolute nightmare with the school.

It's not particularly difficult to deal with working freelance here. No extra paperwork as you should be able to declare the income as being not from your main job, ie. your main Tätigkeit is Hausfrau (I assume?) and your Nebentätigkeit earns you a bit of money. Our accountant successfully made most of my income disappear this way last tax return . Of course the mums are very likely to offer you cash-in-hand especially if you um and er about the faff of tax returns and then you can forget it. I even taught a policeman for a while who made it quite clear he didn't "need a receipt".

The only thing I'm not totally sure about is the health insurance. DH is privately insured, which means I have to have freiwillige state insurance. I have to fill out a form proving my income every year so they can calculate my Beitrag. If you have family insurance it's probably much more straightforward.

Sorry, didn't make it totally clear: you do not have to register as a business, or as being self-employed. You would simply declare the income (profit!) on your tax return on the Anlage G (or whatever it is) under Einkommen von selbstständige (freiberufliche) Tätigkeiten.

ploom we're moving a week today. The architect told DH yesterday that the parquet will be varnished on Friday and needs 5 days to dry . We're not terribly amused, as you might imagine!

Thanks Silken I didn't know that was an option at all, very useful indeed! I knew I could be paid cash in hand, which is OK for a couple of one off things but not if it took off a bit to replace the income from school. We have public insurance - all of us on DH's, I thought me doing anything apart from a mini job and VHS (VHS have a status that somehow also allows you to earn about ?2100 tax free a year) would affect that and not be worth it.

Good luck with the move, that's come around soon!

What a nightmare about the school, Thatis. I often sometimes wonder whether teaching is worth my while, as it's a lot of work for not much in the way of return. I've considered giving Nachhilfe, but just don't have time to fit it in. A friend of mine offers it, however, and says it's quite nice work (compared to teaching younger children) and that there's not a huge amount of preparation involved as the students bring their school books and she works from those as a basis.

Im starting to really want to go to work and leave all the flipping housework,

a dog who has now hurt her leg

a child who is always bored

and a dh who is always planning his next congresss

and gets extra days away
as he wants to go on the fecking motorbike,

sorry for the big moan

Problem is the housework is still there when you get back Cinders

It's a beautiful day here but I find I am increasingly in a terrible grumpy mood these days, luckily the kids can get away from me when it's sunny, I hate myself when I grump at them as its never them that are actually the problem - I think I need some time in an English speaking environment, to do normal things, not time away from the kids, and although people seem to push me to say I want to work I don't actually think that is the answer - might be if work was a desk job with adults who spoke English, and if working meant housework and shopping and cooking magically did themselves, but not teaching in an all German environment with all the housework, laundry, grocery shopping and cooking still to be done after work - how is that going to help?! Win the have a week in the UK coming up but my mother is expecting us to spend most of that with her, and I think what I'd like is the whole summer in a holiday cottage in the UK and only to tell my family we are there for a small part of that time lol!

Hello Linzer - I think you are probably right about teaching - in my case I don't know what else I can do here though. Nachhilf sounds OK - less preparation has to be good but afternoons will be tricky with 3 relatively small kids, will have to offer evenings or very cheap rates on the understanding my kids will interupt in the afternoons!

thatis that holiday cottage in the UK sounds good - can we join you!? I could really do with a trip to the UK but don't want to go and stay with relatives!

ooh maybe everyone on the thread could chip in and we could rent a huge sprawling place in the UK for the summer admylin :o

Sounds good to me too, Thatis and admylin! One of the other threads I was on all went camping together, but I'm sure something a little more luxurious would be affordable if we all chipped in.

It was a bit of a struggle to get the children to behave (i.e. be quiet and listen) at the first of today's lessons and I have the feeling the second group (the KiGa boys) probably won't be much better. I can't give up teaching the lessons though, as I've just ordered a couple of games to cut down on preparation time!

Maybe I should just put up my rates; that would get rid of everyone. The English teacher at school charges well over twice as much as I do (nearly ?12 as opposed to ?5 per child), her lessons are five minutes shorter than mine, she doesn't have to pick her pupils up and they're all collected on time afterwards - or at least, she doesn't have to hang around to make sure that they are. She also charges per semester so doesn't lose out if a child misses a lesson, whereas I'll be earning the princely sum of ?10 for this afternoon's lesson as one child has gone to his grandparents for a week. I've done it all wrong, haven't I?

Oh, and I think I married the wrong Austrian. I seem to be surrounded by friends and neighbours whose parents will come and look after their grandchildren at the drop of a hat, will stay for a week (or have them to stay) to look after them, etc. My ILs wouldn't even have ours for the two days that we went to Vienna. Grr.

I know how you feel Linzer and then one day they'll blame you because they haven't had the chance to get to know their grand children properly!

That would be great, a German thread holiday cottage! Should we go coastal or countryside? Have to have good access to a really good shopping place though and not too hard to get to/from an airport!

By the way you're a saint - I'd have given up on those English lessons ages ago!

I must say I have cheered up this aft, could be because I've told the kids I'm preparing my lesson but been on and off MN in between sorting the kids and a bit of lesson prep :) There are about 7 kids in my garden but it's sunny and they are not being too high maintenance.

But holiday cottage also sounding good - I vote coastal as there is lots of countryside in Germany and Austria but most of us are very far from the coast :o

I agree with admylin the lessons sound barely worth the hassle Linzer - at least any of us who ever consider it will learn from you, and even if we do try something similar charge lots and on a per course not per lesson basis!

There were some lovely sounding barns in Norfolk mentioned in the Guardian last year...

Ooh yes, Norfolk sounds good. I've only been there once - to a wedding, years ago. The reception was held on a boat on the Broads, which was lovely apart from the complete lack of alcohol. Barn for about 30, then?

That sounds terrible about the VHS thatis. I also do a mixture of tutoring and community learning classes which amount to 4 and a half hours a week at the moment. As dh is in Regensburg I am giving around 2/3 of what I earn to the babysitter! Our kids are roughly the same age, aren't they? 6,4 and 1 and it is difficult to find a time slot that works for tutoring. My sympathies.

Lol at 'married the wrong Austrian' in a rueful sort of way, Linzer. Why would they not look after your dcs for 2 days? Too far to come? My ILs told dh it was too much hassle to book a flight to see us. I mean it is a long way, very expensive etc. However, it wasn't too much hassle to book a flight to Madeira a couple of months later! I think it's punishment for us having moved abroad.

I hope the parquet dries extra quickly silken!

I hope the housekeeping fairy pays a visit cinders. She can come to me while she's at it!

Yy to a holiday cottage somewhere on the coast. I've never been to Cornwall, but I quite fancy Southwold or somewhere like that too!

I hope S ends his fascination with the bin soon. I am fed up of picking it up again!

Ugh to teenage fighting, admylin. I presume that's a bit like toddler fighting but lower pitched?

Hope the baking problem was sorted.

Hope you all have lovely Wednesdays.

No, just too much for them Jenny (DH would have driven the DC there and back). Apparently MIL agreed when DH first asked her but phoned back the next day to say they'd changed their minds. DH is convinced that she'd spoken to SIL about it, who'd persuaded her to reconsider. MIL isn't in the best of health, admittedly although she still seems to be running around after SIL and her DC but it's a little frustrating when she and FIL have spent years and years looking after SIL's DC after she went back to work. And surely they could have helped out too if our DC had gone to stay (they live in the same house). I'm not even going to start thinking about the house; I'm annoyed enough as it is!

What a shame about your ILs not wanting to visit. Do they expect you to visit them instead? In which case, it means you have the hassle and expense - and with three small DC, it's likely to be more hassle for you than it would be for them to visit...

Yep, I would also be really annoyed in your position, Linzer. Your SIL sounds like she enjoys being Queen Bee of the family and wouldn't want her position usurped. My MIL, while in rude health and quite comfortably off, doesn't like flying or being abroad, so is more than happy for us to make all the effort. She'll also probably be adding up how much time we spend with my family and compare to see if she is missing out. She used to be a lot more fun.

Are you going to be teaching again next school year? It definitely seems like more hassle than it is worth for you. If it weren't for those pesky kids...

Just waiting up to speak to dh when he gets up Wednesday morning in Regensburg!

Hi Jenny - yes, our kids are more or less exactly the same age, 6 4 and 1 here too, though the youngest only turned 1 at the end of April. He loves bins too, we've had to tie the cupboard where the bins shut with ribbon (in lieu of a proper baby cupboard lock :o) as he started foraging and pulled out old bretze from the food bin and another da a ready made pasta sauce carton and started snacking!)

The problem isn't VHS - they leave me to it and pay on a per course basis, set rate as long as enough people sign up for the courses to run. The problem is with an Elterninitiative Aktive Schule I also worked at for 2 years before my youngest was born, then took 2 years Mutterschutz - except it was only a 1 day a week "mini-job" so the employment protection laws don't fully apply. They now want me to come back for more hours spread over 2 days instead of 1, for the same money. The lady who set the school up and hired me in the first place has moved away, and the school struggles financially, so is run on a shoe string, although the committee who run it have the right intentions for the kids they seem to forget it is actually a job for the teachers and resent people expecting a realistic wage - it has always been all part time teachers, but everyone but the "Nature" teacher has left or been pushed (the original lead teacher was very good but older and too expensive so they got rid and hired a newly qualified teacher) since I joined them.

Cornwall sounds good - nice and far from my family ;) Or Norfolk, also fine :)

DD left on the bus over half an hour ago, but I'd better get DS1 to KiGa I guess, then DS2 and I have toddlers.

Hope your floors are ready in time Silken

My in-laws are good with the kids and willing to look after them, so we are lucky there I know - but I must say I would hate them to come and stay for a week to look after the kids! MIL is so judgy about housework I hate her even being in my house. We get to drop the older kids off at theirs for a couple of nights each school holiday though, and they would take the youngest too, I am just not ready to leave him quite yet (I don't think they'd be over impressed once they'd experienced his night waking either) so I know we are lucky. They ring up to complain if they haven't seen the kids for a few weeks though, and we have had to see them every weekend for the last 5 weeks for various reasons; MIL is expecting us there again on Sunday as it's Mothers Day (which IMO should just be called Grandmothers Day and be done with it, as apparently only the wishes of the grandmothers are relevant on Mothers Day) and I've really had enough of spending a full day of every weekend with them, and losing my one on only post 5.30am lie in of the week to boot, so am currently feeling they live a bit close!

Morning all!
Not had time to post for a few days as tooth number two has brought its friends grumpy and clingy so have had my hands fairly full & have been a bit down recently which hasn't helped matters. (Am still puzzled as to how people with more than one child cope!)

Norfolk sounds lovely - shall I bring the wine?

Hope all PIL & teaching issues are resolved soon & without too much stress & that the varnish takes on magic quick-drying properties.
Fingers crossed for some sunshine this weekend too - MIL is celebrating her 71st birthday by jumping out of a plane!

Waves to everyone. Sorry I haven't had time to go through & catch up individually. Hope everyone is well.