Die Kaffeestube - German and Austrian cyber Kaffee und Kuchen

[admylin]

Kaffeeklatsch for anyone in a German speaking country or interested in German, Kommt herein und setz euch!

Gator wow, reading that I was thinking what sort of people do you know but then saw it's all a different culture thing maybe. I can imagine all of that might be the norm in Japan!

By the way tell us the name of this new spray thing please! I can tell mine is about to start and dh is due in June and he gets man hay fever which is very similar to man-flu so we need something strong and fast!

admylin She's Japanese but her DH is German. They are generally lovely, but a bit odd sometimes. If we meet them for a drink they will quite happily just sit in silence (which is something I'm incapable of). He is DH's work colleague so she and I became friends through them and it just happened that we got pregnant within a few months of each other. Not necessarily the sort of people I would be friends with normally, but they are nice enough (if that doesn't sound too nasty).

The pharmacist gave me 'Vividrin akut Kombi-Packung'. It's a nasal spray & eye drops & the active ingredient is Azelastin. It was quite expensive (about ?17!) but it worked for me straight away, whereas the tablets normally do nothing for me.
I'm normally a June sufferer too, but I think I might be reacting to a different pollen this year.
Actually, saying that, the only thing that has completely kept my hayfever at bay was pregnancy, but that won't really help your DH

Aha, that explains why I have also found a 3-step FB link to nohun, but not to anyone else on here. I also had a "people you may know" suggestion for someone who I have never even heard of, who lives in Spain and who has 5 mutual friends with me - in China, Slovakia, Germany and the UK (musicians move in very small circles, it seems)! Anyway, I worked out that I had met the first of my odd friend requests, although it seems strange to me that we only have one mutual friend, so maybe ploom's friend just tapped the friend request by mistake (easy to do on a touchscreen, I guess).

thatis hope your ds2 isn't coming down with anything. Did he sleep any better last night?

admylin The expense of living there is one of the things that puts DH off applying for a job in London, much as he'd like to (even more than me, I think). Even on the salary he's on at the moment, we couldn't afford a decent lifestyle in London like we have here - and the lecturers' salaries at UCL, Imperial College, etc. are significantly lower.

Gator Those sound like some very strange ideas! I have a Japanese friend here and she's never come out with anything like that, although we didn't meet until our DDs were 3 so I'm not sure if any of her ideas on the baby stage would differ. Is her husband German?

Thatis When I first read your post, I thought you meant that teaching in your own home would make it too messy! (That's what happens here...) Mine's hardly the tidiest, but I generally only need to tidy one room and I don't think the children notice anyway. A friend of mine told me that it's much more difficult to teach children in your own home and that they behave far better if they're taught somewhere else, but I wouldn't really want the hassle of looking for somewhere else to teach.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that one of the boys from the older group broke one of our plastic garden chairs yesterday - he was playing with the basketball when he was picked up and it bounced onto the chair and broke it (it was only a little children's chair, but all the same...).

I'm definitely running out of patience with the younger boys again and need to work on some more effective disciplinary strategies. (This isn't what I signed up for!) The frustrating thing is that the boy who started last month, who was very well behaved initially, is now starting to play up along with the other two - exactly the same thing happened with DS's friend, who stopped coming after about a month.

Talking of messy houses, I must get back to my tidying... my friend and her family are arriving on Saturday and will see the entire house, so I can't get away with just tidying the one room like I usually do!

X-posted.

gator I didn't really suffer from hayfever properly until I moved to Germany . It's not been too bad so far here this year, but we had a weekend break near Freiburg a few weeks ago which was utter hell, despite me having remembered to take my Nasendusche and buying Ceterizin from the Dienstapotheke. I've found Aerius to be quite good in the past (tablets), but all hayfever medication seems to turn me into a zombie. Spring comes a bit later here, but I've managed the last few years without medication and just relied on the nose douche. Our wonderful neighbours turned the three nearest birch trees into a car park a month or so ago - bit of a shame we're moving really!

x posts Gator - no need to answer my question!

Thanks gator I shall put that on the list and rush out to get it as soon as dh starts dying suffering with his hay fever!

Has anyone else noticed that grocery shopping is getting more and more expensive? I've just been for my usual stock-up shopping and it's about 20? more than it used to be.

Toddlers group was good thanks, although DC2 is most definitely my wild child - he will be 1 next week but I had to keep him away from the babies as he was being too rough, he was quite happy rampaging around with 4 little boys who are all due to start KiGa in Sept, and even made one of them (a nearly 3 year old) cry by pushing him over and taking a sponge football (which he then held on top of his head roaring like a lion) - you are supposed to have to helicopter an 11 month old to protect them , not to protect other children from them! Argh! Apart from the pushing incident the bigger boys seemed happy for him to play with him, and were very good with him - I have never been the mother of a terror before, my older 2 have always been very well behaved in public is this karma come to bite me for secretly thinking naughty kids are created by over indulgent parents? I am not sure how to nip it in the bud with DC2 as he's practically still a baby! I would be very firm indeed if he were 2, but as it is I just have to keep picking him up and distracting him when he attacks people (I really don't think he means any harm, he's too little to, it is probably just that he's only used to big kids)! Anyway it did tire him :) I am sitting outside now, as he is asleep in the car, and I am not moving him! Think it's going to rain... oh well. Dd will also be home off the bus any moment.

No Hun I did mean to ask before - are all the things on your housing list "must haves"? Did you have them all in the UK? I was thinking finding somewhere with everything you want at a reasonable price is bound to be expensive anywhere... We live in a tiny village way outside Munich because DH wanted a house - no way we could afford one in Munich or even places like Dachau that are further in. We live right by a playground, and have a (small) garden, and enough room inside - though I found the house big when we first moved it is not by local standards. We don't have anything else you mentioned at all though - nearest shop is 4km away and it's a tiny corner shop which closes for 3 hours over lunch, and Mondays and afternoons in summer! Not that you'd go there for a look around - it's smaller than my living room :)

Gator your friend is clearly barking, sorry :) I can say that as she's not a long term best friend I hope?

Ah I hear dd and assorted other children who have just got off the bus approaching!

Silken he slept a bit better last night than the night before, I think I can say he is properly night weaned, but he woke 4 times I think last night and was hard to re-settle, maybe he's teething again, he does only have 4 teeth.

sorry bits of my post make no sense - such as "finding all that at a reasonable price is bound to be expensive" - what? The post man arrived in the middle...

Btw Nohun, I forgot to mention before - the Alpro Soya chocolate milk is on offer at Real this week.

I found some vegan ice cream last week - Swedish Glace. I'm not sure I can tell the difference, so might have to try the other flavours too.

Mm, silken, Swedish Glacé ice cream is delicious! I haven't found it here yet, but it is in the UK. Yum. Thanks, Gator re the Alpro Soya chocolate milk bargain info! I don't think we have a Real here.

Thatis, DH had a 45 minute commute before, I'd prefer that to be shorter, so he is home sooner. And we only had a patio as opposed to a garden, but that wasn't so bad when DS was a baby. Now he is a toddler, I'd really like some handy outdoor space for him to run around in, kick a ball about, explore. But yes, everything else on my list, we had in our previous home. I didn't think I actually had a big list! We would even be ok with just the one bedroom. I guess I wasn't prepared for how expensive it is here, I thought everything would be cheaper! Though like I said before, we owned, and the mortgage came down and down as we overpaid, whereas here, we don't have that. I had it drilled into me when young to buy ASAP, not line someone else's pockets renting! Perhaps I need a pep talk to get me out of this mindset!!! :)

Gator, your friend's husband doesn't sound like the sort of person I'd like to be around. Poor wife.

Will finish reply later, DS wants me!

silken, I am not sure I understand what you mean re the Fb three-step link to me? Do we have other mutual friends?

Gator, hope the hay fever medicine works it's magic for you. No worries about the zoo, thank you for thinking of me!

admylin, I can't understand why it isn't law to pick up after your dog, or, indeed, why people don't just have a sense of community and cleanliness, and do it anyway. This is another reason I would like a home with our own garden, so DS can run free for a change, instead of me having to check every patch of grass ahead of him. Well, I'd do one sweep in the morning in case of foxes, then he is free to go!
I believe Frankfurt is one of the most expensive places to live! Typical! Oh well. Will suck it up!

600 Fb 'friends' is easy if you accept friends from school, friends from all the clubs you used to do as a child (I did a lot!), college friends, university friends, work colleagues from the various jobs you've had, friends you make through meeting people out and about, DH's friends, all my cousins, their spouses, people I've met travelling, and then the few from the couple of forums I've been on! Plus family, mine and the in-laws. Soon adds up! I like it. I like seeing what people are up to, having a nose through their photos, etc.

You're obviously more sociable than I am, NoHun! I think I have about five friends from each of primary school, secondary school, university and the two jobs I worked in (around five from each place, I mean) - I also did lots of afterschool activities, but mostly with other school friends and have lost touch with everyone else - and then maybe 10-15 from where we live now. None of my family nor any of DH's is on FB; DH isn't even on it himself and I don't think many of his friends are. I think a lot of Austrians are quite suspicious of it or at least not convinced that it's worth joining.

I'd actually lost touch with all my old primary school friends (we moved away from the area when I was 13), but paid to join Friends Reunited (back in the days before FB and when you had to pay) to contact my best friend from primary school. It was definitely worth it as we've stayed in touch ever since (it was over 10 years ago that we got back in touch); she's the friend who's coming to visit this weekend, in fact.

Linzer nice that you have managed to get in touch with your old primary school friend! I was best friends with twins at primary who moved away but I haven't found them.

NoHun I have seen dog walkers with poo bags so some people pick up but I'd say most people don't bother. Berlin is really bad for it so atleast where we are now in Hannover is a slight improvement. Anyway, it'd be much nicer for you to have your own garden, even if it's a small one. You could get a shared garden with a flat too. In Berlin we had a great garden with swing, sand pit and pool for the dc - great for the middle of Berlin.

thatis you are right it's impossible to find a palce with a list of must haves. We took over a year to find this place but have ended up in a flat that we don't really like and turned down better ones because one thing from our list was missing. Now I know better and will not be staying if dh is offered a permenant contract here, I'll start looking for something better straight away.

Hi folks, I have been on here before when we first started thinking about moving to Germany. But rl took over so I couldn't keep up with the thread.

We are now moving in August, and we're heading over to Frankfurt next week to look at housing. I have just a quick question. If we buy a house, assuming it's not a listed building, are we allowed to just knock it down in order to build a new one, or is it all regulated, and you can only demolish under certain circumstances? Does anyone know? It's just that we've seen a few fantastic plots with houses in need of renovation, but we would rather just start again.

Hi, lifebegins, nice to "see" you again. I've just had a quick google and there doesn't seem to be any real problems with demolition and new builds. People seem to recommend you check the Bebaubarkeit for the plot at the Bauamt before you buy and possibly try to get planning permission beforehand too. A friend of mine nearly bought a house which she was planning to demolish, but she didn't get planning permission to build the new house in the position on the plot that she wanted - she was very glad the sale hadn't already gone through.

nohun same thing as you had with Linzer, I guess. One of my friends is friends with one of your friends and your friend came up on my "people you may know" list as he and I have two friends in common (initials are KW, don't suppose that gives too much away, does it?)

I have a few friends with 600+ friends and quite a few with several hundred. I haven't added many people I went to school with, or anyone from university who I don't consider a close friend, so I can see how the numbers can quickly mount up. I still think though that, like Linzer, I'm probably not outgoing enough to make it to anywhere near 600 friends.

Lifebegins I´m afraid I don´t know the answer, but if it is, it will no doubt involve a great deal of bureaucracy. Hopefully someone will be along with more idea. Are you looking forward to the move?

Linzer I´m sorry you having such problems with the English groups. Are you tempted to give them up? Could you combine the groups, so you only have the problem once a week instead of twice.

admylin I´d love to move back to London, but it´s so expensive. I think without a highly paid job you´d notice a real drop in living standards between Hannover and London.

For those of you with hayfever it might be worth considering desensitisation. A friend of ours tried it and it made a huge difference. It´s too late for this year, but could help for next year.

I never realised buying a new kitchen could be so stressful. Dh have argued more in the last 3 weeks than we have in the previous 10 years. The room´s not big, we agree on which cupboards and work surfaces, but can´t agree on the layout. I´m beginning to think we should just put up with our old kitchen.

silken sorry crossed posts.

By the way, did you find there was much room to negotiate on the quotes for your kitchen? I´m not sure how it works in Germany and don´t want to accept the first quote, if they´re expecting to be knocked down. On the other hand I don´t want to appear rude if that´s not the done thing.

admylin I also quickly gave up on finding a place that ticked all the boxes; we just looked at anywhere half-decent within our price range in the end! Having said that, there's not a huge amount on the market here; we could possibly have been a bit fussier if we'd been looking in a bigger town.

Lifebegins Hope your house-hunting trip goes well. I don't know about Germany, but things are often very similar in Austria and I have a couple of friends here who've bought old properties and knocked them down to build a new house. You need planning permission for the new property, but it seems a fairly straightforward process.

hupa I'm really quite torn about the English lessons - I don't want to give them up, but sometimes feel quite tempted! I can't really combine the two groups of 7-8 year olds as I already have 6-7 in each group and I just don't have room for more than about 8 children. I also have a group of three 5 year old boys (the ones who can be a real nightmare when they're in the "right" mood) but they're not as advanced - either in terms of their English or in terms of maturity - so it would be difficult to put them in with one of the other groups.

We're thinking about desensitisation for DS; the paediatrician has mentioned that it's an option, but probably not for another year or two. It would involve regular injections and DS is terrified of them at the moment, but hopefully he'll feel differently in a few years' time.

I've never put my maiden name on fb so people I haven't kept in touch with from before I got married could never find me, which I guess limits fb friends as I've never looked for old school or uni friends either if we've lost touch! (That sounds wrong - I am not deliberately avoiding being found so much as indifferent about it and not wanting to have both married and maiden names listed). DH is not on fb but his dad and brothers are.

Lifebegins people seem to do that a lot but I would also check before actually buying in case there is some reason that particular application would be refused.

DH had an interview this afternoon which he is all excited about - his current job is relatively secure but he has been fed up since his boss left and the next boss up has been trying to push her management responsibilities onto DH (without any extra pay, but he has moved into management in past jobs and hated it, he prefers to stick with development). I hope he gets offered the job for his job satisfaction, but it's even further than his current huge commute, although he says he would probably drive, which cuts down the time (although he rather likes the hour on the train he takes to this job, public transport would be train, underground, bus to the new one, which is a bit much). He muttered a bit about moving but I'd hate to uproot the kids unless for very good reason and to a nicer place, as they are very settled here, and DD is so well known it's crazy, she knows everyone and the most unexpected people know her (and old man came round collecting for the Maibaum the other day and needed our surname for the donations list, and when I said it, he said "Ah the (surname,dd's first name)!" sand it turned out he had heard his granddaughter talk about her (as she has a very common name it's always used with our fairly unusual surname!)

Took the kids to the dentist this aft, they are a bit hyper now, best get them to bed I think!

Crikey, you have all been chatty today!

Hello lifebegins!

I hope you get the kitchen sorted out soon hupa. Surely the one who cooks most often should get the most say?

I am sorry your lessons aren't going too well Linzer. It is hard when you are teaching people you know. I much prefer strangers - though that might be because I am quite shy!

I think it must be very expensive to have a decent lifestyle in London, though that of course is subjective. I definitely wouldn't have a house as big as I do here in the UK or Germany. I know I am very lucky, but strangely enough, the only part I am attached to is our master suite and the laundry room. I struggle to find the time to clean the rest properly. It is definitely hard to find everything on your list. What don't you like about your flat, admylin? I hope you find something better soon, nohun.

I'm glad H is sleeping better now, thatis. I hope he continues to improve. He sounds like lots of fun, not wild!

Got to go and change a nappy now. Waves to gator and silken and everyone else I've missed!

Sorry for the x-posts!