Wenn es im Winter stürmt und schneit, haben wir eine Flasche Glühwein allzeit bereit - life in Germany and Austria

[LinzerTorte]

As I couldn't find a suitable poem mentioning Glühwein, I composed my own. Please don't laugh.

All welcome - anyone living in Germany, Austria or anywhere else who would like to chat.

admylin the grades sound absolutely fine to me too. I have the opposite problem with my DH - dd says she is rubbish at maths and that her teacher has said she is (would they really have said this? ) and I tried to discuss this with DH but he won't engage on the subject and says he doesn't think it's a big deal, and she's only been in school half a year - I think if she is struggling now (or even if she only thinks she is and it is only her perception that she is rubbish at it) it is a big deal in the sense we need to get to the bottom of it, but he just won't raise any interest in addressing it. DD has been being really naughty and then announced the maths thing - she is only 6 so wouldn't know to come up with it as an excuse for the behaviour, and I think we have to do something, I am feeling really stressed about it. I wanted to go and see the teacher, but DH says she will get Zeugnis soon and then we'll know - not grades in 1st class but a written report - I have no idea if she will get this? Do they in 1st class? She (ironically) finds German fairly easy, and enjoys the other bits of stuff learning about the world/ health/ craft etc. they do, but maths is an issue.

We still have snow and DS1 has a new sledge, though he is a bit nervous of it atm. He seems mostly happy at the moment, but I had an irrational tantrum at him because the friend he had here this afternoon had wreaked slightly sly havok - I kept discovering things after he left, like a key wedged into the wrong key hole that I couldn't get out, a cup off apple juice in an unexpected place that the baby got into, etc. DS1 is only 4 so it is a bit much to ask him to keep his friends in line really so I felt bad for throwing a tantrum about it; my excuse to myself is long term sleep deprivation, but that is not the kids' fault and they shouldn't have to see the results in me! I hate myself as I remind myself of my mother, who is irrational and excessively emotional, tantrums and cries like a toddler and did all through my childhood (despite a professional scientific background and career ) and I'd rather shoot myself than turn into her!

On a jollier note DS2 is lovely atm, 9 months is a lovely age, a real little person - but arrgh the sleep never gets better and now I hear him again!

Hello, loads of sickness in the house over the last few days, me and dh included. The grades sound good to me, too. Don't feel bad, thatis, I am with you on the lack of sleep causing you to feel overly emotional about things you'd normally not bat an eyelid at. I am really struggling with that too. Speaking of which, I'm going for an early night tonight - it's half past eight here, but I can't keep my eyes open. Take care, all.

Jenny hope you all recover quickly. Times like these it's tough to be alone with no family around isn't it?

Thatis I bet you'r exhausted, no wonder. You could
try to do abit of extra work with your dd on here for maths.
www.uebungsblatt.de/mathe1.html One tip, some of the exercises you can put smarties out or jelly beans and suddenly the dc want to do maths all the time! That's how I got my 2 going with the numbers adding and subtracting up to 20. I used the 20 smarties and said when we'd finished they could eat them! 20 lego bricks worked too.

Hope everyone is keeping warm, thank goodness I don't have to go out today!

Thanks for the website admylin that is perfect! She can do all the sums when she does them slowly and concentrates (we use raisins when doing homework) but hasn't made the leap from counting out to doing it in her head or just "knowing" that 4+4 is 8 or seeing that then obviously 8-4 is 4... she works it out every time and says she is much slower than "everybody" else. It is hard to know without talking to her teacher whether she really is behind "everybody" or just behind her friends or something, not totally sure what would be average. I am worried she is already labelling herself or being labelled as bad at maths, as if she sees herself that way it will have a knock on effect.

Jenny hope the nasty sick bug leaves you all soon, thanks for the supportive comments.

The Probeschularbeiten on that site look good, admylin - even if you don't want to pay the ?1, you could still print out the first page. It's been nice not to have any Schularbeiten to worry about since Christmas, but they'll be starting again after the Semesterferien.

School grades - aargh! Have just had a friend on the phone to say that her DD is going to be getting 3s in German and maths in her Zeugnis tomorrow and that if she's very upset about it (although I think she knows about it already), then she'll come and pick her up from English early.

And then I had a friend over yesterday, who is quite worried about one of her daughters as she's not doing as well as the other two (she has triplets in DD2's class). Apparently she's getting 2s rather than 1s (although from what I'd heard, she only got one 2 in last year's Zeugnis) - I just don't get why 2 is seen as quite a disappointing grade here. She was also complaining about all the focus on grades in DD2's class, children going round trying to see what grades the others have got, etc.

Thatis How long is it until your DD gets her Zeugnis? I would probably wait if it isn't too long - depending on how much information you get in the Zeugnis, of course. We get grades here from the first year - I'd much prefer a written, ungraded report - although they only get an overall grade (plus a separate grade for religion) at the end of the first semester in the 1. Klasse.

Jenny Hope you're all feeling better soon - an early night definitely sounds like a good idea.

It's getting colder by the day here and was -14° this morning, so I postponed my planned run. I haven't needed to go out at all the last two mornings as DH has been at a seminar that didn't start until 9 am so he was able to do the school run. I'm hoping I'll get out of going out at lunchtime too, but I told the DDs to phone me if they found it too cold to walk back and I suspect they will.

jenny I hope you´re all soon feeling better.

thatis In Hessen the children in the first class only get a Zeugnis at the end of the school year, unlike the other years who also get one tomorrow. I think I would probably to try to have a word with the teacher. You could also have a look at the bbc bitesize site for some fun activites.

We´re off for our skiing weekend tomorrow, but it is so cold I´m not sure it´s going to be much fun. I think I might spend most of the time inside, drinking hot chocolate and admiring the scenery rather than freezing to death on the slopes.

Did you say you were coming to Austria, hupa? I don't think the temperatures are forecast to go up much - if at all - over the weekend (snow is forecast on Saturday and Sunday, oh joy), so staying indoors drinking hot chocolate sounds like an excellent idea. I've told DH that I don't mind us going on a skiing holiday in the Semesterferien next year as long as he doesn't actually expect me to venture outside.

I'm starting to get worried about the next Klassenfahrt at the end of February. They go to Harz where there should be snow and it'll be cold/freezing. They are meant to do some cross country skiing but now I think I'm going to have to go out and get thermals and goodness knows what else for dd.

Last year ds went but his stuff is far too big for dd. Any tips on what she really needs?

Linzer I don't get it either , a 2 or 3 is not that bad really. I feel sorry for the dc who come out crying for bad grades too and even worse I feel sad that alot of dc in the German system who have no chance right from the start. If the parents aren't behind them all the way supporting and helping with homework then they're heading straight for hauptschule really.

admylin This is what I pack for the DC when they go skiing (although I'm assuming she'd be able to hire skiing equipment):

normal underwear
long underwear/thermals
top/thin jumper
fleece/thick jumper (three layers are supposed to be good - she can always take one off)
normal socks
ski socks
skiing gloves
hat
scarf
ski jacket and trousers
helmet
ski goggles
skis and sticks
ski boots

Lip balm (containing a sunscreen) and sunscreen are probably a good idea too.

A friend was telling me yesterday that she always takes one of those hand warmer things to heat up her hands - apparently you can even buy heated gloves, but they cost around ?300!

admylin I can´t add anything to Linzer´s list and agree that layers are the key to keeping warm. You could have a look in C&A. I was in there the other day and they had reduced quite a lot of the ski wear.

linzer We´re going to Lermoos which is only a small ski area, but should be fine for a weekend. We can basically head straight down the A7 and therefore avoid jams around Munich and then it´s just over the border.

Hupa thanks for the good idea, I will have a look in C&A.
Linzer great list, the lip balm is a good idea as dd always gets dry lips. Must try to get her a couple of fleece zip up tops and the ski trousers atleast. I find this sort of trip a total waste of time and money but it's a pflicht trip so they have to go. It's just a huge expense for families who don't usually ski and don't have the equipment.

Fleece zip-ups are good - I had mine on this morning, as well as long thermals, a running top and a running jacket, and didn't feel too cold while I was out. My fingers are suffering again, however; they would have been fine if I'd kept the two pairs of gloves on, but I stupidly answered the phone (which involved taking off the gloves). After two minutes, they were bright red, slightly swollen and incredibly painful; it took the rest of the run for the feeling to return to my fingers. That will teach me to take my gloves off when it's -17°C.

Zeugnistag today (oh joy), although DD1 was slightly concerned that she won't get hers as her teacher was off sick (again) yesterday. I went past the school on my run and her car wasn't there so I assume she's still off sick, but surely they'd still get the Zeugnisse to the children? The girl who's going to be getting 3s in her Zeugnis is ill so not coming to English today after all; it's probably a good thing, as there'll inevitably be too much comparing.

A friend of mine phoned me yesterday quite upset as the teacher has suggested her DS repeats the second year. He really doesn't want to and she's now thinking about moving him to a different school. It's made me realise that we could have had far worse problems with DD2 - she's not doing amazingly well academically, but seems happy at school and neither of her teachers has suggested sending her to Vorschule/getting her to repeat the year, which has happened to a few other children we know.

jenny I hope you all feel better soon.

hupa Enjoy your skiing weekend and I hope you don't end up spending too much time on the Autobahn.

admylin Did you venture out in the end? I walked down to the bank & back through town yesterday and it was freezing! Even pushing the pram up the hill, layered up, hood up etc I was still freezing. I hate it when you come into the warm and it really hurts behind your ears for ages because of the cold. I tried some earmuffs on in Karstadt while I was out but they just looked ridiculous on me.

Thatis I hope the extra exercises help get your DD's confidence up a little.
Don't feel bad - I'm always amazed by how calm and lucid you seem considering you're surviving and looking after 3 kids on next to no sleep. I think a small strop every now and then is allowed.

Linzer Ouch! Are your fingers ok now? I'm staying in today. We've been out every day this week and are off to the ILs this weekend so we're having a nice warm day in the flat today. Plus my thighs are all bruised from lugging the meatball baby in his pram & his carseat up and down the stairs.
Zeugnis time sounds so stressful - it seems like a lot of pressure to put on children. It's like you said about the attitude towards sending them to school as if it were prison. I can understand why people are reluctant to send them to school earlier than necessary if that is the sort of pressure they are under at a relatively young age.

The new car is all shiny and lovely and really nice to drive! We've had an automatic for the past 2 years so gears were quite a nice change again, if a little challenging driving home up a long steep hill with loads of traffic lights.

The midwife at Rückbildung was an absolute cow to one poor woman this week. She has a 9 month old baby and was a little embarrassed already that she had left Rückbilding so much later than the rest of us. The midwife started telling her off in front of everyone for putting the baby on her back not her front, she'll never learn to crawl, other babies can stand by that age etc. Which may well be the case, I just think there are other ways to broach the subject rather than telling her off in front of the whole group and worse still, getting other women there to agree with her! It was awful - every time the baby moved after that or the woman picked her baby up the whole lot of them were wincing and making faces. I couldn't believe it. I think I was the only person there who spoke to her normally the whole time.
The only reason I went was to see if one of the other women who I quite like fancied going for a coffee at some point and she wasn't there! I felt like a teenager about to ask someone on a date, which DH found hilarious!

That group sounds like a nightmare, Gator. And how annoying that you'd made the effort to go and the other woman wasn't even there. I'm sure the mother who the midwife was having a go at was very glad that you were, though. FWIW DS had plenty of tummy time but didn't crawl until he was 12 months - and besides, you can't put a baby on its front the whole time. But I'm sure you've already realised that the midwife is talking nonsense. (And even if what she says has some sense in it, there's still no excuse for talking to people like that.)

My fingers have finally recovered, thank you, although sitting in a cold car for 15 minutes while I was waiting for the children to come out of school didn't help warm me up much. I like to get there early to get a decent parking space, but had completely forgotten about the madness of Zeugnistag. There were hundreds of parents milling round... could they not wait until their DC were home to see their Zeugnis? Or were they worried that something might happen to the precious Zeugnis on the way?

At any rate, as I've already said on Twitter, I only ended up picking up one girl. For one of the others, the excitement of getting her Zeugnis was obviously all too much and she wanted to go back home with her mum (who's usually at work at this time; I just knew that once she said she would be coming to school to take her DD's things home that her DD would want to go with her. Because of course I had no room for her things in the car. ). Another mother had phoned me in the morning to tell me her DD was ill, but it turned out that a third girl was ill too - I had to phone up to find out, as the mother had forgotten to tell me.

I was quite surprised that the one girl still wanted to come, but I said we could play games or do something a bit more fun today. However, when I showed her the games, she didn't want to play any of them and played with the DDs' Polly Pocket things instead. She didn't seem to want to talk to me either (although her English is fine as she's being brought up bilingually), so I just sat and supervised and tweeted. Her mother still instisted on giving me the money (even though I told her that I hadn't really done anything with her DD other than speak a bit to her and that she'd wanted to play on her own), as did the mum of the girl who didn't want to come - but on balance, I think I'd have preferred the extra 1.5 hours to myself.

hi all

Linzer, running in these temperatures... you are dedicated....or addicted?!?!Laughed at the zeugnistag madness! I had to pick up the dds from school as the Hort was closed today (for training, but 2 hours later saw the staff going home!) and lots of pieces of paper being waved around. Though apparently (dd's teacher corrected me) it is not a Zeungnis but a Schulnachricht- whatever. I've not looked at dd1s yet and dd2 had a KDL (Kommentierte Direkte Leistungsvorlage) where we sit with the teacher and go through what they have done in detail, and where dd2 is good or not so good. Much more informative than a mark.

Gator, that midwife sounds vile. This morning I have had 2 experiences with vile, mean people and just makes you think "why are you doing that? can't you just be nice instead? it's more fun!"

Thatis - be kind to yourself. Three children, and on your own for a lot of the time + lack of sleep is really, really tough. And I am sure you will not turn into your mother - you seem very reflective on what she did and what you do.

admylin - I am with you on the expense of trips and having to buy all this gear. About to download The Help to my kindle...always good to get a recommendation. I have little spare time and don't want to waste it on a rubbish read.

Get well jenny. And stay healthy and warm everyone else. I am about to put on loads of layers to pick up ds. dd2 wants to go to the park , not sure about it - she needs the movement but dd1 had her tonsils out 1.5 weeks ago and I don't want her to get a cold now.... it is hard to meet everyone's needs, as you all know! on the other hand we went out in these temperatures in Finland without thinking twice...

have a nice weekend!

Hope you didn't freeze at the park, platanos - the walk between the house and the car was enough for me today. Well, apart from my run obviously, but I just wanted to fit it in before the snow forecast for this weekend and the Semesterferien. I'm not that dedicated really!

Yes, DD2 also corrected me yesterday and told me it's a Schulnachricht. Well, whatever it is, I'm fed up with them. Sadly, I don't have two children with lauter Einser so cannot crow about them on FB. This means that friends cannot come and crow with me about the fact that they are also Einser-Mamas. I think I need a large before I kill someone.

You ladies are definitely the most supportive group on here. You always think of what the other thread members are going through and it makes for such a pleasant thread. You all deserve a large

We are much better, thank you. The baby still has a head full of cold, but at least there is no more vomiting at the moment. Phew!

What on earth is an Einser-Mama? I mean, really? Aren't we supposed to be proud of our children, no matter what? I hope you have had a nice evening, despite all of that Linzer. Your children are growing up bilingual so streets ahead of most of their peers anyway.

That's kind of what A wears for her skiing lessons too, though she wears a sleeveless fleece vest as it is often very sunny up there. I can't believe it's Pflicht though. What happens to those dcs of parents without much money?

That midwife sounds scary, Gator! Are they back exercises? Whatever it is, it is definitely not on offer here! Glad the new car is lovely.

Finland, platanos? Sounds exciting!

Hope you all have wonderful weekends and the weather is neither too cold nor too snowy.

Aww, thank you Jenny. I shall save my for this evening, as I didn't have one last night - DH has a cold and doesn't feel like drinking, and it diddn't seem worth opening a bottle just for my thimbleful. Glad to hear you're all on the mend now; sickness bugs are just horrible.

I think Einser-Mama is a made-up term (it means the mother of someone who's got 1s in their Zeugnis) as I saw it for the first time yesterday - someone I know posted on FB how proud she was of her two DC, who had got 1s, and someone else posted that she was an Einser-Mama and very proud too. I think the word should be banned, particularly if you use it to describe yourself. I'd also never heard of "lauter Einser" (all 1s) before I moved here, and it generally makes me want to strangle the person using it.

The thing is, I think that we (DH and I) should actually be far more proud of DD1, who has always worked much harder than DD2 to get her grades. She got a 3 in maths, which was a bit disappointing as she's generally quite good at maths (but she got 4s in both Schularbeiten due to not concentrating properly, so it wasn't surprising), and otherwise 1s and (mainly) 2s. We were especially pleased with her getting a 2 in German, as it's a subject she struggles with.

I think that, particularly at primary school, the kind of child who gets all 1s is the kind of child who generally doesn't have to work very hard for it. The other girl we know who's really struggling is the one who got 3s - and I know her mum does lots of extra work with her. I think anyone who boasts about their child getting 1s should be sent a child with dyslexia or other learning difficulties.

Sorry, it's a bit of a sore point with me! It's just that I can't stand all the boasting, self-congratulating and idea that anything less than a 1 is a failure. One of the girls in DD2's class was in tears yesterday when she got her Zeugnis as she got a 2. One 2! (Plus eight 1s).

DH has just been looking at the weather in Sweden where he's going next week. -29°! It makes the weather here look positively tropical in comparison.

I gathered that's what it meant, it's just that my jaw was on the floor! FB is the spawn of the devil for for that kind of bragging. The teacher in me is much more interested in the 'value-added' score and how much progress a child is making. Do the reports give any descriptions of what the children are doing, or just the raw grade? That is such a lot of pressure for little ones.

You'll have to pack dh's thermals! -29C is cold. It has been that here a few times. Your nasal hairs freeze up fairly instantly!

Jenny No, just the grades. The report is basically an A4 certificate with the grade next to each subject and that's about it. Some schools don't start giving grades until later (I don't think it's obligatory until the 3rd or even 4th year), but the children at our school get grades from the first semester.

Was hoping for a quietish afternoon, with DD2 at a friend's and DS at a birthday party, but DS refused to stay at the party as he was the only boy (and I think he found all the little girls dressed up as princesses and with face paint on rather scary - he burst into tears as soon as three of them opened the door) so I had to bring him back home again.

Have just picked up DD2 from her friend's and had to endure lots of talk about how much her friend's family are looking forward to their holiday in the UAE next week, how pleasant the temperatures will be and how amazing the hotel is. They seemed to find the fact that I'm going to be a Strohwitwe next week quite amusing. Think I'm probably going to be more of a snow widow than a grass (or straw) one, however.

I'd find that birthday party scary too, Linzer! Are you coming across some very strange people lately? Your dh isn't going to be away all week, is he?

I had my fourth skiing lesson yesterday, which I really enjoyed. I nearly didn't bother going as S was sick all over my skiing clothes in the morning, but thank heavens for my tumble drier. Hope everyone else's ski weekends went well.

We had some friends over to celebrate the baby's first birthday this evening. I can't believe he is one already! He seemed pleased with his presents and enjoyed squishing his birthday cake through his fingers!

Settling down to watch Downton Abbey now. I hope the week starts well!

Happy birthday to your littlest Jenny!

It is minus 20 here and the bleeping car broke down on the Kiga run - on the only blind bend on the route too, aarrrgghhh! Tried to call the recovery service but reception was too patchy, then the mobile's battery died, by which point the baby was screaming hysterically so I re-tried the car and it started, so I drove it the mile home with engine light flashing - have to call the dealer in a second but have only just calmed the baby down and now he's asleep on me.

AAAARRRGH!

Gator yay for new car - hope you've got a good one not a dud like ours!

Thatis thank goodness you're alright and the car started again. Was it in the garage over night? There are 10 cars parked outside on our street and 3 of them had trouble the other morning, I watched them trying to help each other start engines and then the ADAC van was called. But minus 20 is really cold. Not that bad up here at the moment.

Jenny happy birtzhday to your ds! Enjoy him, it's an adorable age!

My dc have project week - the whole school has. Ds's year subject is Liebe und sexualität. They'll be discussing Verhütung, Das erste Mal and Anmache so the letter says that we got on Friday! Dd has to suffer a whole week with her form teacher who she doesn't really like much and her subject is paper. They will visit a factory where paper is made for the local Zeitung and probably do some paper making.

Linzer how long have your dc got off school? I don't get all these einser mamas and einser dc - although dd's best friend is one! She just has a photographic memory and reads her school book once and then just knows it all. She does suffer at the teasing though and mostly the boys call her names for always getting a 1. She hides her test papers as soon as they're handed out so no one sees her grade. Her mum doesn't boast about it though. Thos emums at your dds' school sound like a load of wierdos!

Jenny Happy birthday to your ds. I hope you had fun skiing.

Thatis What a nightmare. Cars always seem to know the worst possible moment to break down.

Linzer The other parents sound like a real pain. Luckily I´ve yet to come across an Einser-Mama. In fact the parents here don´t seem to dicsuss the grades much, but then again all the children will be going to the Gesamtschule, so maybe there´s not the pressure to be getting great grades from a young age.

Well we survived our skiing weekend despite the cold. It was more than minus 20 on the mountain, but we had enough layers on, so didn´t freeze. Other than that we had blue skies and sunshine and manged to avoid any traffic jams, so it was all in all much better than I had expected.

admylin I forgot to ask - Do you think your ds will be telling you about what he learns this week or will he be too embarrassed?