Wenn es im Winter stürmt und schneit, haben wir eine Flasche Glühwein allzeit bereit - life in Germany and Austria

[LinzerTorte]

As I couldn't find a suitable poem mentioning Glühwein, I composed my own. Please don't laugh.

All welcome - anyone living in Germany, Austria or anywhere else who would like to chat.

Sympathies on the early start yesterday, 5more - I hope you were able to sleep for slightly longer today. I also had to get up earlier than I'd have liked as it was DD2's first communion service at 9 am and I could have done with a lie-in, but I am well aware that I can hardly complain as a) 7.30 am is hardly early and would have seemed like a luxurious lie-in a few years ago, and b) my tiredness was entirely self-inflicted as I'd been out with a couple of friends the night before. Mind you, the fact that we had to wait two hours for our food didn't exactly help.

I don't think their nose needs to be really runny to use an aspirator btw; in fact, I found it more useful if they were congested because it wasn't overly runny IYSWIM. Am trying not to go into too much detail, but it probably wouldn't work quite as well if it was too hard/dry either.

Gator Hope your parka hunt was successful. Everyone here had padded coats and I held out for a while as I never used to like the look of them, but they've grown on me now and I have a lovely warm one from M&S. And have just bought another one for the girls (size 140, by which time I expect they'll be the same size) as it was only ?15 at Hofer and seemed like too much of a bargain to miss out on.

Still no sign of snow here, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Thursday/Friday. (Actually, I'm now slightly more concerned about the D&V bug doing the rounds at KiGa, as we could really do without that when we're travelling back.)

Glad it's not just me whose parents live in an inconvenient place. We also considered flying to Manchester, but couldn't fly direct from Vienna either and it would be virtually impossible to get back to my parents' by train (neither they nor my brother drive long distances/on motorways, and hiring a car seems like a lot of hassle and expense). It's bad enough from B'ham as the trains are only every two hours, so it can take us up to 5.5 hours just to get back from the airport (providing there are no delays, which there usually are). We would only be 45 minutes from Vienna airport too; just a shame about the lack of flights!

Oh 5more, I really feel for you at the moment & really hope you get some sleep soon. How is DS' cold? I'm not sure about, erm, dry matter. We've only used it on his runny nose so far. It's not always effective but works sometimes & only cost about ?3.

I found this lovely parka in Zara with a removable furry lining. Ooh it's lovely and warm! I wasn't so keen when I saw it on the website but in the shop it looked a lot nicer. I also treated myself to some new pyjamas (which I promptly leaked milk all over) so was very happy with my purchases! DS and DH had a nice couple of hours at home together and I had a quick sausage and Glühwein at the Christmas market on my way home.

Linzer We had a little snow yesterday morning but not enough to settle (the ground was too wet anyway). It was really frosty & a little icy this morning though. How did the communion service go? Did your DD have a nice time?

The PILs came yesterday and brought our Christmas tree! They are generally really lovely but were annoying me a little. MIL pronounces every time DS so much as squeaks that he is hungry/tired/has tummy ache - regardless of whether he actually does & PIL thinks I hold him too much & should just put him down and let him cry when he wants a cuddle. He also talks really louly & is then surprised when DS wakes up & screams & has to be rocked back to sleep again. They did bring biscuits though so all is forgiven! (Well, once they had left & I had had a glass of wine all was forgiven :) )
I had a bit of a whinge to my mum about it and she just said 'welcome to motherhood'

Gator, well done on finding a coat and more! I usually come home empty handed when I go shopping for myself! Your PIl sound nice and also very typical reactions to baby noises. Dd was 6 months when we took her to India and family had me going mad by saying she must be hungry every time she made a slight noise let alone cry. There was no way I was going to stop breastfeeding her though as atleast I didn't have to worry about her getting the runs like the rest of us.

Linzer, I admire you for going through with the confirmation thing - how many Sundays will you have to be at church or is it a one off (no idea about church rituals).

My parents also live 2 hours from an airport and miles from a station too so a pain to get to with dc and suitcases etc. Do you book train tickets online before you fly Linzer?

5more, how nice to drive back to UK in May, think of all the shopping you can carry back with you! I bet you're looking forward to it. How long do you think the journey will take door to door?

Well, this morning all the retired couples must have decided to do their Christmas food shopping as the supermarket was over run with them - but they were all in a good mood so very friendly. Probably partly festive spirit and partly pleased with themselves for getting it over with before the real rush. When will that be do you think? I might go to Real supermarket one night with dd as it's open until 10pm.

Love the coat, Gator; it definitely looks nice and warm. Your MIL sounds exactly like mine; she was very good at holding the baby while I was eating but would usually decide after a few minutes that he/she needed feeding. It was at times like those that I wished I was bottle feeding as I'm sure she wouldn't have suggested making up another feed if the baby had only had a bottle half an hour ago! My parents do the talking really loudly thing - also closing doors really loudly, etc. It still annoys me now, although not as much, as they get up at around 6 am and inevitably wake the DC.

admylin Yes, we booked train tickets online and will pick them up from a machine at the station. Unfortunately we couldn't reserve seats so got my parents to do that for us.
Glad the shopping wasn't too stressful; there were lots of retired people at Hofer today but I didn't get there until 10 minutes after it had opened so avoided the worst.

The first communion service went OK; it was the first one (there are four altogether) and all the children had to go up to the front for part of the service. The preparation classes don't start until January as the Pastoralassistentin is ill; they'll be every week until the first communion in April and we'll only have 20 minutes to get between ice skating and the FC class, so I have the feeling it's going to be a bit stressful.

We'll have to go through this all again when the DC are confirmed (4. Klasse Gymnasium) - we were talking about it to the neighbours' teenage DDs yesterday, who said that everyone involved in the confirmation preparation is very strange and that it also involves weekends away. At least by that age they'll be able to get themselves to and from the classes, I hope!

My new contact lenses have just arrived - I had to laugh when I saw that I'd received "4 bløder kontaktlinser" in Norwegian (ø is pronounced like ö).

Sounds like you'll be busy with another load of appointments Linzer! It does get better as they get older and can go to places alone. Dd could go to hockey on the bus as it leaves from around the corner and goes to the end of the street where the training takes place. Only problem is, the bus takes 45 minutes to get her there and with me only 20 to 25 minutes in the car. Might try it in summer.

What do they actually have to do for communion lessons? Do you have to sit in the church with them for lessons or is it near enough to go home?

No, thank goodness - the class is divided into two groups and a couple pf parents volunteer to be Tischmütter for each group (DD1's group also had a Tischvater). One of my friends kept trying to persuade me to be a Tischmutter and claimed it didn't matter that I wasn't Catholic, but DH said it would be a really bad idea as the priest would be likely to find out and wouldn't be at all happy. Not that I was in the slightest bit tempted; I do enough volunteering for the class with the English lessons as it is.

Have just had to pick up DS from his friend's as he wanted to come home. He's so clingy at the moment and doesn't want to go anywhere (KiGa or other activities). He's stopped going to Turnen and tried out football instead but didn't like it, but I'm insisting that he carries on going to the ice skating lessons now that he's started the course and is making good progress. There are only another six lessons to go anyway, and it's also easiest (for me, admittedly) if DD2 and DS learn at the same time.

I need to help DD1 with her homework now and haven't a clue what she's supposed to be doing. The heading is z nach Zwielauten and she has added the note Übers Z nach zwielauten [sic]. Then there's a list of words, one group with z and another without, and she has to form passende Wortgruppen. Hmm, I may have to phone DH.

about your stupid contact lenses, Linzer.

I played Bach's Weihnachtsoratorium yesterday and at one point the Kantor corrected the choir's diction of two words: "kund" and "Fakkel". Luckily I had the text for that bit printed in my part, as when he started shouting the first word I heard it as if it were English and could only think "why are you using that word?"

ladder. My night out on Saturday reminded me of how much people swear in Britain compared with here. The only person here I ever hear using bad language is DS , although he must pick it up from somewhere (KiGa, obviously). And I don't mix much with teenagers, admittedly.

I do find that the use of the F word in German is getting more common. Dc were watching a music talent show thing the other night and one of the stars was constanly using it.
When I left UK years ago every swear word was beeped out on TV but I think they leave alot of them now - or do BBC still block them?
Snowing again here in Hannover. Had to go and get dd new boots at the weekend as the ones I got her in September were not waterproof (although they were meant to be winter boots) and she came home with soaking wet feet.

Hello everyone!

Glad you found a suitable coat Gator - I am wearing the cheapo bulky oversize nondescript thing I bought last winter, to do me for my pregnancy - glamorous I certainly am not in it, esp as it has mud on it from DS1's boots half the time... Maybe next winter I will have lost enough weight to justify the purchase of something nice... Hmmm, will think about that after Christmas I guess!

Linzer hope your travel plans go smoothly - there is snow forecast here/ in the Munich area today and tomorrow, but then it is forecast to get milder - so that should work out for you at least as far as the airport bit is concerned.

Are your children converts to Catholicism genuinely or just doing first communion because it's fun/ for the experience? I wonder how that will go when dd gets to that age - she does Ethics atm and loves the small group and the teacher so is happy, and also atm still wants to be the same as me, even though I have told her she can make up her own mind and she is quite switched on and does "get" the different belief systems/ not actually being able to be certain which is right.

Is your DS 4 or 5? I forget... My Ds1 is 4, and I am also having a bit of a dilemma about ice skating for him, as he loved the schnupper course, but has now (now we've bought him skates and paid for the "proper" longer beginner course) decided it is "too tricky" and he doesn't want to do it! I realised that in the one class he's been to since the schnupper course ended (and the volunteer who was on hand to hold his hand is no longer there) he skates very cautiously across the rink and never falls - dd has never really cared about falling on the ice and gets right back up, I think ds's feeling that he has to "do it right" and mustn't fall is holding him back (from enjoying it and from getting better faster), but don't know what to do about it - it's funny as he has great balance and learnt to ride a bike super early so I thought this might come more naturally to him than dd! Maybe it is the age...
At least he loves football training (my 2 have also given up on Turnen, but here it does seem to jump from a young children's free for all thing to very serious gymnastics training, with not a lot of middle ground) but I am happy they both do football (separately as boys and girls train on different days) as I really hope they'll stay involved in some kind of sport as they get older, just for the fitness aspect when they no longer feel inclined to spend hours every day haring about in the playground and on their bikes etc.

Am making shortbread for my English group tonight - the dough is just resting in the fridge - made mince pies last year but as I made the mince meat from scratch it is all a bit too much faff, and I have realised much too late I could just have ordered some ready made ones on Amazon! Still shortbread is super easy, and it is kind of British Christmasy isn't it??? Better get on with it before the baby wakes...

No swear words on British TV before 9pm admystletoe - we watch lots of British TV, wonder why my German is still pants The British TV is actually DH's choice most of the time, although he is German - he says German TV is almost all pants, and he absolutely hates seeing things that were made in English dubbed into German and can't bear to watch them that way!

That's true, admylin - I'd forgotten that it's not unusual to hear the f word on TV and occasionally on the radio here, and it really annoys me. Generally speaking, I don't think non-native speakers should swear in English as they just don't have enough of a feel for the language to know when it's appropriate - and it's never appropriate in the middle of the day when children could be listening/watching IMO.

5more Good news on the snow; thanks for the information!
We're bringing the DC up as Catholics (they were christened CofE in the UK too, but no one here needs to know that) as that's the "default setting" here and I don't feel strongly enough about it to stop them going to RE lessons at school etc. The parents of one of the girls in DD1's class left it to her to make up her mind so she was christened about six months before her first communion. All the Catholic children in the class (15 out of 20 in DD2's case) are enrolled for first communion classes more or less automatically, although I think you do have to sign a consent form (I sent DH to the FC parents' evening so am not too sure of the ins and outs of it). It would be extremely unusual for a Catholic child not to do the whole first communion thing, however, and it's virtually expected of them.

DS is 5 and was also complaining about ice skating being "too difficult" and about the fact that he kept falling over the first time. He's improved so much since he started that I think it would be a shame for him to give up now, plus a waste of money as it's quite likely we'll have to pay for the entire course. I do think it's good for him to do at least one sport, esp. in the winter when he doesn't play outside much, but he's so clingy atm that he doesn't want to do anything at all. DH would like him to do a skiing course in the Semesterferien and he initially said that he wanted to, but he's changed his mind now. There's no point forcing him if he doesn't want to do it and he'll learn at some point anyway (secondary school at the latest), but it does seem easier if you learn at a younger age. Well, that's my excuse for not learning to ski now!

5more I feel exactly the same as your DH about dubbed programmes and DH also thinks that most of Austrian/German TV is rubbish (the Volksmusik programmes on Saturday evenings are particularly bad), so we only ever watch British TV. I did find it good for picking up slang when we first moved to Germany though (pre-DC and before I found a job), when I used to watch daytime TV.

Linzer, we uesed to live in a small catholic village in south Germany and if only we'd just joined in and gone to the Kinderkirche atleast - we might have been accepted and felt more at home. I used to go down to the playground and other dc would gather their toys and go home when they saw us coming!

5more, I've never figured out how to get UK television - even when we had a dish instead of cable we only had sky news, BBC world news and CNN in english. Now we have cable and only get CNN in th evening and BBC news all day. Must admit I'd be more of a telly addict if we did have better TV (your dh is right, German TV is pants) but at the moment it's so easy to switch the rubbish off and have an early night!

morning all!!

admylin - that was shocking treatment you got in the village you used to live in. I do think villages can be quite insular especially if people have lived there their whole lives but there lots of "outsiders" in our village so I dont feel quite so alien. We get British TV on the computer through a "Tor" - dont watch it all the time since its not on the main TV but i happily watched strictly and x factor. Agree german tv is on the most part really bad and I agree with 5more's dh and linzer - things in English should just be subtitled rather than dubbed. Altho I've seen some dodgy subtitles as well.

linzer - wonder why your ds is so clingy at the moment? He'll obviously get past it but its always a wonder how long it'll last. I keep meaning to phone to organise ice skating lessons - must add that to my list of phone calls I'm dreading.

5more - is the sleeping any better? you were up stupidly annoyingly early on saturday. Hope the shortbread works out - I love shortbread. Have great memories of making patterns on it with a fork as a child before it went in the oven. Have never made it as an adult tho - is it easy enough?

ladder - at the possible words the conductor was saying! it puts linzers blöder kontaktlinser to shame.

gator - I like the parka. I went out in a coat at the weekend that is older than my dd but it is my "oh my god its cold" coat so I only wear it a few times each winter and its long so not good for sledging etc. How's the milk getting on today?

So ds2 has been for his vorschul Gesundheitsamt thingy this morning and did really well. He is a really bright little thing and she was impressed that his German was like he'd lived here all his life and said he definitely should go to school in September even though he's on of the younger ones. I tried to discuss his poor listening and concentration skills but I dont think she believed me since he had listened really well to everything she said. She said he'll probably improve on them when he goes to school if there were any problems. He just needs to go back to the Augenarzt as his right eye isnt 100% perfect - yet another appointment to make. So this time next year they'll all be in school - crazy to imagine.

My MIL just phoned while I was typing this - dd got a 4 the other week in German (she got mixed up between perfekt tense and präteritum tense) but lied to Oma and told her it was a 3. DH didnt knwo this and told MIL it was a 4 so Oma is now in a strop with dd!!!! and dd is too frightened to phone Oma to say sorry. Obviously its not right that she lied but I can understand why - the last time she got a 4 in the 4th class, my MIL wrote a terrible email saying how disappointed she was in dd and went way over the top about it. They were on holiday at the time so I didnt say anything but I've just got it off my chest and said its not on that she goes on at dd like this about her school marks and she shouldnt be making her feel so upset and thats its up to us as parents to deal with. I did it all in a calm tone but feel much better for it. Also told her not to make dd upset about it when they come on Christmas eve. She is a very dominating personality so feel proud that I've stood up to her (for once!).

oh and its proper snowing here today! have done the snow shovelling but its snowed so much since that it looks like I didnt do any.

Meant to say about the flights - there are some really cheap flights from Memmingen - it is in the back end of absolutely nowhere but I can fly return to Manchester with ds2 in 2012 for 86 euros. Thats a proper bargain. ANd the parking is fairly cheap. Shame its still a 3 hour drive from us but since Frankfurt is 2 hours then it seems worth the extra hour since its so cheap.

Well done on standing up to your MIL, Canella. The e-mail she wrote sounds awful; I hope she listened to you and won't bring it up at Christmas. Good news on your DS2 - how old is he exactly? DS won't be 6 until the end of July so will also be one of the younger ones in the class; he's not great at concentrating either, but is generally quite bright so I'm not too worried about him as he still has time to "mature". Having said that, I am slightly worried about his writing, or rather the way he holds a pencil (his KiGa teacher has already pointed it out) - basically in his fist. He refuses to hold it any other way so I'm hoping it will sort itself out when he starts school.

admylin That's just awful. There's quite a small town mentality in the place where my ILs live but even there, I can't imagine it would be that bad. It's the kind of place where you're an outsider if you've "only" lived in the village (actually more of a hamlet) for 10 years. And it's even less multicultural than where we live, which is saying something. I was quite to hear my FIL use the n word to describe a black person in quite a "factual" way (he wasn't consciously being derogatory). DH claims it's not as bad in German as it would be in English, but whether that only applies to the insular arean where he's from, I'm not sure.

Ds2 will be 6 exactly one month later than your ds - 24 is a common birthday date in our family - me, ds2, my sister, my father, my cousin! So he'll be really young in the class.
They dont seem to correct them on how they hold a pencil at school. Ds1 doesnt hold his well so I bought one of those ones with finger "holes". Have you seen them? It has definitely helped.

Just watching Take That in concert on the iplayer - just as good as when we were there. I may be in my late 30's but I still have a crush on Robbie. I've been dancing about this morning while watching it!

Canella, that's awful of your MIL writing that email. Germans do seem to think it's the end of the world if you get anything less than a 2 though. It's hard enough on the dc when they get 3s or 4s (my dd just got a 5 in maths test after getting a 1 in the last one!) without the grandparents making it worse. Maybe they're used to your dh - wa she one of those brainy ones who always got a 1?! Luckily my dh can't complain or nag too much about grades since we found his old report cards with plenty of C and D grades on it!

That is a cheap flight Canella. Is it in school holiday time? I can't find much in the way of bargains for us to fly in school holidays especially now the dc are older and pay full price on most airlines.

Linzer, does you're ds do alot of colouring in and drawing at home? You'd think he would sort of copy his sisters when he sees them writing and holding their pens. Ds was very bad at handwriting in the first class and the teacher told me to get him to cut things out and it was true, he is left handed so he'd never done much cutting out as I had the wrong scissors for him at home. So I bought him a left handed pair. Still took him until year 3 to get nicer handwriting and alot of sheets of Vereinfachte Ausgangsschrift!

Love your 'stupid' contact lenses, Linzer!
I'm always shocked by (English) swearwords here. I think, like you said, that if it's not your native language you should be really careful. I almost never swear in German as I'm just not sure. I used to laugh (privately) at the Germans at my last company saying 'fokk' all the time - they didn't quite seem to get that any cool points you achieve by swearing in English are instantly erased by the awful pronunciation! They would just use English swearwords in the middle of German sentences, 'twas very strange! I still do a good cat's bum face when they don't bleep out bad language in music here - DH thinks it's because most people wouldn't necessarily register it as swearing.

ladder The thought of the Kantor shouting the c word willy-nilly made me giggle :)

Good luck with the shortbread, 5more! (I'm with your DH on the German tv issue, btw - it's awful & the dubbing just makes it worse! Not that that stops me watching occasionally...)

admysteltoe How rude of those DC! I never realised that small villages really can be that bad. Did you live there for long?

Canella Well done on standing up to your MIL! Do you think she will take on board what you said? I would be really mad about the 'disappointment' business - like you said, that's for you as the parents to deal with.

The milk situation is slooowly improving. One side is still ridiculously lumpy & sore, but the other side feels almost normal. I'm still soaking through pjyamas, breast pads, bed sheets, you name it but I wonder if that is just the non-lumpy side emptying itself. Just the mega lumps to work on now - back to the frozen peas I think!

We woke up this morning to a good 3 inches of snow & it's still going! The weather forecast lied to me. It's very pretty, I just hope it doesn't affect the airport as my brother is arriving tomorrow!

Just interrupted Robbie to look on the ryanair website - for me and the 3 dc to fly in the Febuary half term it would be 120€ in total - thats not each! Granted you would have to pay for a suitcase but its still cheap. But i plan just to fly with ds2 since its the last year he can go out of school hols.

Yes DH and his brother were both very bright - 1's a plenty there. So she isnt used to anything less but she better get used to it.

Gator, it's taking ages to get your lumps sorted, hope they aren't painful anymore. How's the bottle routine going?

I think we just experienced a very bad village in terms of friendliness. It put me off living in a village for ages though. Must admit it was really hidden and far from any other civilization and I was glad when dh started his PhD and we moved into the student campus in the middle of town!

Is the snow settling where you are? It's been snowing all morning here but it's just melting as it hits the ground.

It was even funnier because the Kantor looked about 12 (very much in the GM mould) and I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying until he said that word.

Linzer I think "Neger" translates as "Negro" rather than the awful word, doesn't it? DH has used it in the past and been surprised at my horror - he seemed to regard it as factual, rather than derogatory (although afaik it isn't factual, is it?) He seems to worry more about using "schwarz", probably because of the "Schwarzer Mann" thing. I assume it is partly to do with living in the sticks and also not being exposed to the constant discussion about discrimination that we get in English.

Canella thanks for the tip about Memmingen, I shall have to google flights from there now. We used to fly Altenburg - Stansted (and Erfurt - Stansted until it was eingestellt), but it's so much easier to get to and from Manchester that we now fly from Frankfurt (not that we do much). (5more have you done the ferry crossing before? It takes us about 6 hours to get to Europoort, so I would guess you would need maybe 8 from Munich, depending on how quickly you can get onto the autobahn.)

This obsession with marks here is awful, isn't it? I hope your MIL has listened to you and won't spoil Christmas.

gator I love that coat. Quite tempted to get one myself, since I otherwise live in a fleece . Not sure where the nearest Zara is, though, Würzburg, perhaps?

Canella, maybe I should get you to search for flights for me! I've never found any that cheap. I'd rather fly from near home though so maybe that's why, Hannover is just too expensive. I did get some good deals when we lived in Berlin and could fly to Liverpool.