DH wants to move to Singapore for his work - I don't!

[Allboxedin]

He works as a programmer and says all the jobs in his sector are in London, New York or Singapore. He is fed up of London so keeps on about moving to Singapore.
TBH I am getting pretty fed up and have tried to make him see that it won't be eay to just up and go. We have one dd of 2 years and I am due again in 3 weeks.
The problem is that he never seems to settle and I just don't think he will there either. He has never been there and knows nothing about it.

I know it sounds abit silly but my husband is actually black and we have mixed race children, One of my main concerns is how they would be accepted over there.

Before I met DH I lived and worked in Korea for 3 years and so I have a feel of Asian life/work/culture ethics, although it's not Singapore and I have not been specifically there, it worries me it could be similar in many ways.
I used to travel a lot with my work so that doesn't bother me but then I was single. We are about to have our second now and it's a whole different story.

I honestly think he should go over there by himself for a few weeks to get a feel of things and then make a decision but he thinks we can all just up and leave and it will all be hunky dory - HELP!!

So sorry for the long rant. Any perspective would be helpful.

Thanks NY, good to hear different experiences.

begony, we have both raised the issue of weather for our dd1 as she suffers with asthma,allergies and eczema and generally reall feels the heat. I know air con is very expensive too!

I am not entirely sure what the package would consist of. Obviously I would not be able to contribute for a little while either being due our second child.

Out of interest how do salaries compare with those here in the UK?

Just wanted to add that HDB although is gov built and therefore can be classed like 'council housing' over here, most of it is far from the stereotypical council estate we have over here. Many of them are available for rent by foreigners and there are a fair few that are within the 'zone 1-2' like in London. You don't have to live like the expats of yesteryear with 6figure salaries, chauffeur, club memberships etc. Many Singaporeans have domestic help and they live in with you and usually have 1-2 days off a month. All for something like £2-300/month. My father's Neighbour is British - his mother was out there visiting him and the family when we were there earlier this year; I have white British friends who live 'out in the sticks' and commute to the city on the mrt.

They are by no means slumming it.

Re salaries doesn't it depend on what is average in your industry? You can easily find out things like that from industry salary surveys. A white Irish friend moved out there first on an IT job. He's now started an MBA with Wharton in Singapore. He's funding that himself.

Thanks DrCrab, you are right, I should have a google about salaries.

Agree thouroughly with drcrab.
There are expat families at vary different ends of the spectrum.
Its a very well planned city with lots of free entertainment , public parks and gardens, council run classes and activities.
Local coop supermarkets are as well stocked as posher expat versions. TransPort is extremely safe and efficient.
All things considered, on an equivLent budget i still say quality of life is better.

I suffer from psoriasis and its all gone. The skin can breath as always naked!As for asthma, you would need a good gp to keep things in check. Its common to suffer an adjustement phase as the mould spores in air con systems can aggravate allergies. A good local gp consultation is $25. A top paed fir expats about $80.

Thanks laptop, tbh we live fairly comfortably here in London, by no means like kings but we are not really struggling for money and DH is very opposed to any borrowing.
I have a frined who lives with her husband in Hong Kong and she has lived in Singapore also and said she wishes she could go back there to live. She seems very positive about her experience there.

do you have any idea yet of what your husbands wage will be and if schools/rent/health etc will be provided? Have a look at Expatsingapore message board - do a search and there are many threads about the cost of living.

living costs

emm... wouldn't bother reading by page 2 of that thread as it goes off at a tangent and starts debating the charms if Finnish men.

Good luck with everything. I was a property agent in Sg so don't hesitate to shout if you need specific info.

Thanks begony, will have a read of that - might have a look at pg 2 also if I have time
Thanks laptop. Will keep you in mind :)

Allboxedin. Before your husband decides to relocate you all to Singapore, I think that he needs to really research the employment market here. For a start you say that your husband is a programmer. From what I understand here in Singapore, many of the programmers/ IT workers brought in to work here hail from the Philippines and from India. Aside from having the relevant skills, they are hired because their expectations in terms of salary and benefits are a lot lower than someone from the USA, UK or similar. These people often leave any family they have at home to come work here for a few years, so they do not expect medical coverage for family, schooling or large housing allowances. This makes hiring them very attractive to employers here in Singapore. I worked in one of the largest IT Consultancies here in Singapore before I had kids and I only ever saw expatraites on the full package of benefits at very senior levels. The best way would be for him to secure work before he packs up and leaves. You may, as others have suggested, look at the expat singapore forum. I have seen a number of threads on there by people working in IT, looking to move to Singapore.

One of the reasons why we are leaving Singapore is due to the high costs of living here which just seem to keep rising and rising so please make sure that you do your research very thoroughly. Singapore is a great place to live for a while if you can have a great standard of living and save money. It can be a miserable place if you are on a tight budget. The other reason we are leaving is the heat. Whilst it is nice to live somewhere hot, the relentless 35-40 degrees with 90% humidity saps you of energy and after 13 years in Asia, I really have had enough of it.

Agree with desnatada. Unless you are going for the experience and the adventure (which doesn't sound you are and you have said you have a good standard of living in London) then you could be quite miserable if you are on the lower end of living compared to other expats from similar background. Generally people live it up, know we did and travel a lots around the region.

Hi,

Im not sure you if you have moved. i just stumbled upon this thread and thought id respond. I was in the same situation as you, however my kids are older 9 and 13. My husband woke up one day and decided to move out to Singapore. He was worried about the UK economy, hated the British climate and wanted a new change totally. I hated the whole idea, we had never visited, had no family there however he's got a few work colleagues which i imagine prompted his move.

I sadly left all i knew to move out here after so much persuasion. I must honestly say to you do your research thoroughly!
having lived here a few months i'd say it's a beautiful, clean and safe city.

My children love it but miss our big home as we have had to down size to a condo my husband is not on an expat package but on fairly good salary. We had a very good standard of living.

School fees has worked out to be a lot more expensive than we paid in the Uk having to add the expense of the school bus.

We do not own a car as husband realised it's too expensive here. Though he was convinced having a car here was totally unnecessary, i beg to differ. We had a very decent car in the UK. Having to commute by taxi sounds cheap as it can often start at 4.00SGD to 25.00SGD depending on where you commute to. Having to do your grocery shopping you would find you would need to do a fair bit of taxi commuting weekly. I have had to total it up monthly i realise i'm spending roughly 600SGD monthly in the last few months i've been here.
However trains and buses are very clean and reliable. Depends on how much you love the heat and humidity of commuting to and from public transport.

My children are in a British school with excellent facilities. Health care is paid by husbands work.

I have come to realise it's very, very expensive living here especially the grocery shopping and accommodation. Beautiful malls exist here in abundance with many of your UK stores, though with very high prices.

I have found no issue with colour as my kids are of afro/caribbean descent and mix quite easily. My DH has also settled into work easily.

Yes the heat and humidity sap all my energy . However i've never liked the heat.

Do your research but i do look forward to moving back to the UK.

You might enjoy the adventure if not on a tight budget.