Would you move back to the UK?

[justlookatthatbooty]

Been away 15 years.
Considering a move back. Part of me says, "No, Run as fast as you can in the other direction (Bali)" and part of me says, "Go for it, (not London tho) for 2 years max."
Considering rural such as Perthshire but know nothing about Perthshire whatsoever. Don't fancy being in narrow minded rough racist waters, esp for the DC;s (preschool age).

Would you move back to the UK, after years away? If so, why?

Good point about friends/family not falling over themselves to spend lots of time with you when you move back. I've certainly found this. Not that I expected much, but many old friends have new groups of friends now and with everyone having moved out of London to various different towns it's so hard to get together regularly. I've got a bit depressed about it at times, but you just have to build a new group of friends for yourself - as they've done. You have to make an effort - join a gym, chat to other parents at nursery, parties, the park, etc. Unless you move back somewhere you and all your friends and family still live it's hard work to start with. But having said that, I have no regrets. I loved living in the US for six years, but I'm glad to be home. It's not perfect, it never was, but neither was life somewhere else.

hope it's not a case of grass is greener and I end up missing all this when back in grey England.

The grass is literally greener in the UK than anywhere else I've seen, except for Ireland. And you can sit on it without getting chiggers or suchlike. That's the silver lining to the grey clouds

Honestly, one of the things I really missed in the US!

We just returned to the UK from Dubai, because DS has got to an age where he needs to settle in school for GCSE's and we were unlikely to stay in Dubai till he had finished school.
Dubai was very good to us and I enjoyed our time overseas, but it is not a place you can grow old in and I wanted my son to have roots in the UK - it's so easy for 3rd culture kids to drift.
Despite what the Daily Mail would have us all believe and despite the very real problems for some people, the UK is still incredibly orderly and organised compared to many other countries and in our out of the way town, it is still England - even if there are at least 2 Polish shops in the town.
DS is at an independent school which offers so many more opportunities than his various international schools.
There will be a period of adjustment which I know will be hard and I have to start from scratch in finding local friends - oh and the weather is crap, but I know moving back was the right thing to do. We can always jet off to the sun again later when we are old and doddery and DS is keeping us in style - Ha Ha!

we moved back after living overseas with the kind of lifestyle that most of my family and friends could only dream about and it's been fine and kids are happy and settled. The UK can still be great if you have enough money to have a comfortable lifestyle. Saying that we may be moving away again and I feel really mixed about it. Overseas might seem more attractive in a few years when my kids are approaching their teens.

Yes, tomorrow if I could. Cannot stand the annoying Southern European lilt I now speak my own language in, apart from 25 billion other reasons including absence of bacon and schools going on strike for no reason whatsoever.
I'm only staying where I am for DH's sake.

After just over 10 yrs in Denmark we did move back to the UK (DH is danish). Now I have missed the UK the people/the stuff my family and all. But I moved out there when I was 20, I went to uni there, bought my first flat, got first proper job, met DH, got married so now at 30 - home is Copenhagan. DC will be born over here now and actually we now live further (in time) from my family than we did when we lived in Denmark.
Got a promotion and moving back in Oct 2012 - it feels like in a year we will be returning home and that these 2 yrs are the living overseas years.
Move back again? nope (but then I may feel differently if we moved back to Glasgow instead of London - I'm still a proud scot after all :P)

juneau: 'many old friends have new groups of friends now and with everyone having moved out of London to various different towns it's so hard to get together regularly. '

I found this when I moved back to the UK after 8 years with dh, who was from the US who didn't have friends or family here. We've been back 10 years and it has been a long slog to get build the network back up again.

But in 10 years, we have never really felt settled here. We would love to go back over seas. During that 10 years, my parents died, dh was very ill for about 5 years but OK now, and we had dd, now 6. We are seriously thinking about going abroad again, either until she is 11, or indefinitely.

My concerns are mainly for dd and whether she will be too rootless. And I'm concerned that if dh gives up his job, we will never be able to afford to come back whether we want to or not (we would be moving for my job, which is a lot less well-paid). I also wouldn't look forward to rebuilding the network for a third time - in my 50s.

It's probably madness but we tormented with the desire to live in a third culture. It feels normal to me and I'm like a fish out of water in 'my own' country.

I agree on many of the concerns about going back to the UK - economic and political climate. I find it interesting though that education is regarded so badly in the UK. I live abroad and have worked in international schools in many different countries and can honestly say that the standard of education, in terms of provisions, dedication of teachers, upto date professional training, in many of these schools is lower than in the state schools in which I have worked. There are some exceptional international schools out there, but the education system in the UK really isn't that bad. Although, again I suppose it depends on which countries we are comparing it to.

I have read this thread with much interest! I would return to the UK in a shot if DH could find a job there. We have been living in Spain for just over 5 years and I can honestly say life here hasn´t got any better/easier, the only difference is that I no longer complain

I agree totally with what nello says in that the UK education system isn´t as bad as it is portrayed in the media. I can say that with conviction as I was a Secondary school teacher before we moved. What really upsets me is that many Brits have this bad habit of seeing the worst bits and not being proud of what is in the main a fabulous country. It´s so easy to slate life in the UK often without knowing what happens elsewhere.

Spain for example has one of the highest levels of school failure in Europe, certainly worse than in the UK. How can that be? Isn´t it some sun-drenched paradise where life is beautiful, and people are so friendly and happy 24/7?

Sorry, but to put it bluntly that is a load of rubbish. Same goes with the "ooh family life there is so much better...family this, family that" line. Let me dispel that myth. Children here are expected to start school the year they turn 3 and yes I am talking about "real" school, all day, every day. The average school day runs from 9-4pm and even 5pm and that´s not including before and after school club. That means that many children are actually in school from 7.30am ´til as late as 6+pm. Working hours here are ridiculously long, more so than in the UK, leaving minimal time for family life. Part time contracts are few and far between. Many working mothers have no choice but to put their babies into nurseries all day long, every day.

TwoPlusTwo where are you?

I would consider it with preschoolers if it was for 2 years max , as you say.
I would have to be very financially secure, though and be able to go and live somewhere nicely insulated from the depressing financial situation.

If Bali were my other choice I would take Bali in a heartbeat!

Loving being back in Sydney though.

We're in Australia now, after a stint in Singapore and we're SO looking forward to returning to England.

We miss the weather (do you KNOW how unbearable the heat can be for month upon month?) the culture, the beautiful countryside,being so close to Europe and so many other things we all take forgranted.

Australia, to me, feels a very superficial country and tbh I'm fed up of the "it's the best country in the world don't you think" attitude. This is usually from people who have only every been to Bali for a break.

I have spent a total of 14 and a half years living abroad, the last 13 years living in Asia. We are looking to move back to the UK and can't wait to do so. I get a bit annoyed at what a bad rap the UK gets. I know lots of people who have moved back to the UK over the past 3 years, who I thought were seasoned longterm expats who would never move back. Some of them wanted to move back, some of them were sent home. I've spoken to these people at length about the UK in my research (when deciding to move back) and not one of them has told me that they regret moving back. In fact they all say they would never move abroad again. One common thing they all said about the UK was "it's not better, it's just different". One thing I do believe is that the grass is not necessarily greener elsewhere.

One of the main reasons why we are returning is that as someone mentioned above, 3rd culture kids often end up drifting with no roots. We want to give our children strong roots. This includes having relationships with their family and our long terms friends and families. We want our children to have a home.

No, I want to move back to the UK. I think I have done my research well and I am pretty much moving back with the mindset that I've been there, done that and the grass wasn't any greener.

Desnatada - I was a third culture kid and I have extremely strong roots - UK is totally where I'm from if anyone asks, but I'm not gagging to get back there at all. I've spent my life in several different countries and I went back for university, postgrad and my first job and then was totally happy to get out of there again. it wasn't anything against the UK itself it was just that there is so much more out there than the UK. Some may call it rootless - I call it flexible and I don't think it has anything to do with how you grew up - my husband loves to move around as much as I do and he never left his home town until university!

I'm at home where my family are - I'm at home where I live now because this is where my husband and son are. We're all (husband, son and I) just as much at home where my husband grew up, where my parents now are or where my sister is - wherever family are is home.

We have very strong relationships with our families - talking to them on skype several times a week - they visit us, we visit them and we make more effort to keep in touch with the mundane everyday stuff because we're not around the corner physically. My parents made sure that we spent a lot of time with family growing up and that we knew about our roots.

Maybe you need to be in the UK to give your kids strong roots but that is not the case for everyone and your blanket statement that third culture kids end up "drifting" is not accurate. it was the best thing my parents ever did for myself and my siblings.

I won't be going back to the UK any time soon - I enjoy my summers there to spend time with the families but I'm always glad to be home for many reasons.

cosmos

where are you?

I am in Cape Town :)

Can I say what a really interesting thread this is. Really fascinating!

My DP moved to England from Holland when his DC were 8 and 6 and he thinks the UK Education system is brillaint compared to the Netherlands. His DS is now at International School in a different (European) country and finds that at 17 he is streets ahead educationally than most other nationalities (esp Americans)

As for the Belgian love-in DP, as a proud Durchman, would like to point out that the Belgians have crap coffee and roads :o

Yes I think I will move back to the UK at some point. But like Shangers said, home is where the heart is.

Interesting thread. I moved back to Uk many yrs ago so the question isn't really relevant to me but I must say I am amazed at how some expats have such a gloomy view of life in the UK.
My children are happy , well exercised , well educated (state) and have plenty of family time.
Do you all read the Daily Mail?

Mateysmum - just browsed through mumsnet and saw your comment from 2011 and very interested to see how you have settled back into UK life versus Dubai...please let me know as in similar circumstances/have similar decisions to be made...

We just moved back to the UK at Christmas after 16 years abroad, living in 5 different countries. I didn't want to come back, family issues forced our hand, but after a wobbly start we're loving it! We left the considerable comforts of suburban USA for a small house in London but I feel like I'm in heaven! I can walk everywhere: the gym, the supermarket, the post office, my kids' schools, I love the energy, creativity and the diversity of this city, not even NY comes close IMO! I'm blown away by the investment in the London academy comprehensives that I've seen, their state of the art buildings, stunning faciities and really excellent teaching and efforts to reach out to some of the most deprived communities. My 14 yo can't stop saying how much she loves school here and is thrilled by the sense of freedom her (free) bus pass gives her to roam around London.
The generosity of the state blows my mind! The willingness to invest in infrastructure (in the USA it's crumbling away), fabulous new public transport links (new projects being shelved in the state) make living here a pleasure.
It's not all perfect of course. Still can't get my head round the funny-money prices of houses in London and the weather stinks. It's not easy to make new friends, there's not the all-embracing community spirit of small-town America or the expat communities, but I'm really kicking myself for staying away for so long or at least wish my 14 yo could have been saved her two and a half soul-destroying years in a US middle school.

Gut response for me is, no absolutely not. But my parents are currently healthy and we are employed where we live. If either of these factors changed we might have to consider it. Hopefully not, though!

Like you say, GGIRL the question isn't relevant to you, and for me that kind of jibe /attempted insult "do you all read the daily mail" is what keeps me happily away from the UK!

Those of you who say you'll never return to the UK, what about when your parents start to get frail, and are no longer able to travel to visit you, and start to need care and support?

Interesting to read this thread again, and my previous response!

I've just returned from a 3w trip back "home" to the UK and it was possibly the hardest one so far to come back to Oz from. I took DS1 and DS2 over by myself, DS2 was 6mo and it was just lovely to be able to introduce him to all my family and friends and so on, so it made it harder to leave this time. Plus I kept thinking "Oh DS1 had this, this and this experience because we lived in the UK when he was this little, but DS2 is going to miss out on it" - it was a bit tough.

The thing I really noticed when I got back there though was how easy it was to walk everywhere if I wanted to! Since my Dad lives on the outskirts of London, and the house I still have is also on the outskirts of London, being able to just walk up to the shops without feeling worn out/saturated in sweat was such a relief! Sometimes it's the smallest things that make a difference.

Nothing else has changed though so I won't be moving back any time soon.

Lived overseas a lot as a child but now settled in (very) rural Scotland. I think mumsnet gives you a very skewed view of Britain which, less face it, is very, very varied country. We are not all fighting to get our children into good schools. Not all of us live in tiny houses or flats, longing to move but trapped by high prices. We don't all have to fight for our children's health / education / needs.

Rural Perthshire is lovely. Schools here are very good and there is no bunfight for entry. The weather is far better than the media allows. We had 3 months of virtually unbroken sunshine from Jan - April this year and had a good, dry summer last year. Proximity to Edinburgh gives you culture a plenty and London is only just over 4 hours from there by train.