Would you move back to the UK?

[justlookatthatbooty]

Been away 15 years.
Considering a move back. Part of me says, "No, Run as fast as you can in the other direction (Bali)" and part of me says, "Go for it, (not London tho) for 2 years max."
Considering rural such as Perthshire but know nothing about Perthshire whatsoever. Don't fancy being in narrow minded rough racist waters, esp for the DC;s (preschool age).

Would you move back to the UK, after years away? If so, why?

No, I would never move back. I miss TV and fish and chips and easy access to far to many flavours of crisps, but life in France suits me far too well:

• the food
• the markets
• the wine
• the education system
• the health system
• I can take my dog to restaurants, hotels and holiday rentals

Plus all the reasons Portofino gave apply to France too.

And I like being able to gloat over how crap David Cameron is but not be affected by any of the crap he has done

I am about to move back to London from Southern Spain after just over 7 years here. Me - I can't wait to get back, but I think that is more as a result of my relationship with DD3's father falling apart and the desperate loneliness I have felt for the past year.

I love Spain with a passion, but I can't stay here on my own with the children, I want to be back in London where my friends all are and my family are (relatively) close by. I have made some very good friends here, Spanish and Argentinian mostly really, , but tbh the majority of the English I have met (certainly in the part I am in) are vacuous, plastic and concerned only with their next tit job or botox, and how much money they spend on their designer clad toddlers and tweenies, which is extremely far removed from my feelings on life and children...!

We leave here in four weeks and I really cannot wait to be back in busy, cold, wet and windy London Town. My heart never left there really, and it's time for me to go back.

What is it you want to avoid by being in Perth rather than elsewhere?

Belgium is a lovely country, Fairyloo, and my point about the provisions is that it gives working families flexibility, not that you have to stick them in child care for 12 hours a day. You sound a bit small minded.

I could add to my list that there is no culture of presenteeism here - people leave work at a reasonable time. It is very common for people (mostly mothers, admittedly) to work 4/5ths so you can be off on Wednesday afternoons when there is no school for example.

To expand on my post a little -

1. in the UK we would both have to work. Here we can live a fab lifestyle on one salary and have one parent at home with the boys. Which I think has to be a bonus.
2. education here is uniformly good. All the local schools have excellent ERO reports (equivalent of ofsted). In the UK it's more patchy and we would probably have opted for private education.
3. public healthcare is mostly free. There is a charge for GP visits and prescriptions but meds are cheap (£1.50ish per item) and facilities are good. The hospital system is well set up and well run.
4. I used to work in the NHS. My first year here I didn't take any leave - it was such a refreshingly different system to work in I didn't realise I hadn't had a break until my first year was almost over. Obviously helped by fab climate and beaches on doorstep to frolic on at weekends.
5. climate. It's great here, I can drive around with the roof down all 4 seasons.
6. outdoors lifestyle. In the UK people would ask what we'd done over the weekend - I would talk about day hikes, walking trips, swimming / biking and be greeted with blank faces and comments like "what, was there nothing on tv?" Here it's the reverse and I am much happier with my boys growing up in that sort of environment. They do a lot of sport, running, team things and gym from a very early age. There are children's activity playgrounds everywhere with climbing walls, frames, slides, webs - very much an emphasis on getting out and exercise.
7. scenery - it's just lovely. I have amazing beaches on my doorstep and a mountain view over the bay. Ski fields are 90 mins drive away.
8. materialism - or rather, lack of it. There just isn't the material culture here, you don't have to have the latest toys and gadgets and expensive electronic bits. We haven't had a TV connected since we moved, the boys watch DVDs when we do want to watch something. 2 years of no adverts :)

In the UK I have family and friends - but they visit here, we visit there. Skype keeps us in touch, it's not as good as dropping in for tea but it can be as good as you try to make it. My lifestyle there was such that I worked a lot of weekends and evenings and rarely saw family even when there - I think I've spent more actual time with my father since we moved than I did before we left.

People talk about a lack of history here and they're right, the place was only colonized a few hundred years ago. However that's not the same as a lack of culture, there is abundance of that. I still take my boys to the shows, we just have to travel a little (day trip to Auckland - easier than a day trip to London from where we used to live!). There is theatre, music, arts, cinema - mostly in our home town, but with larger places a very short hop away.

It's a long way for European holidays, but Mexico, Japan, Malaysia much closer.

The nuts and bolts of our lifestyle is much the same in that I still work, the house still needs cleaning, the groceries still need to be shopped for. But I think we're all much happier here and I would hate to lose that by moving back to the UK. If the boys move back I might follow them, can't think of another reason I would though.

We are planning to return in the next few years.

I am a little torn, tbh. I would love to go back but there are things about the UK that aren't as good as Australia; just as there are things here that aren't as good as the UK. At the moment, I think Australia wins out, mostly, if I'm honest, because I don't have to fret about the (IMO) fucking stupid school place allocation system in the UK. Here it's easy - DS will go to the local, excellent, primary school, no problem.

DH wouldn't want to go back to the UK though so as long as we stay together, realistically it's not going to be an option. Unless DS decides he might want to go to Uni in the UK, in which case...

The thing that I think DS will miss out on is the European stuff - day trips to France, weekends or holidays on the Continent, that kind of thing. It's not quite so easy to "just pop over to Asia" as it is to the rest of Europe from the UK.

If Australia were only a few hours away from the UK instead of the distance it is, I'd worry less about it all, tbh. But there's not much we can do about that! Until someone develops a teleporter, anyway

We came out for 2 years. I am very much looking forward to returning in 18months.

It took a while for the gut wrenching homesickness to abate, now it's more a mild ache, but I love the UK. Love love love it.

When the riots were going on it really affected me. I really felt like 'that's my country the fuckers are wrecking. How bloody dare they!'

I know that 90% of the UK population would rather be here (Oz), but I like that. I like the self deprecating humour that we have. The fact we'll look at everywhere and see the positives - certainly here I only ever hear negative comments about every other country in the world.

(Belgium sounds lovely tho', we nearly went to a European country and kinda wish we had).

My children like it here, but talk about 'going home' (their words) a lot.

Sorry I really don't think 90% of UK population would rather be in Oz. I wouldn't and I know lots of people who were there temporarily and have returned (and one family who emigrated but have all apart from one daughter returned to the UK in dribs and drabs). Why? Climate - too hot. Poisonous stuff (would much prefer NZ for this reason). Too far away from Europe, most other places. Cost of living. Closeness to family. Etc.
BTW where I live in the UK being active is normal and watching TV all weekend isn't (pure MN land though). But then we just went on holiday to the US, near where a school friend of one of my DCs is originally from and was at the time. We bumped into them at the airport, they said how less active they had been and how much weight they had put one. We (grown ups) both lost weight, and we'd all walked a lot, as well as swimming every day, regardless of the heat. So it is a lifestyle choice.
I really think we are all here (pretty much anyway) privileged in having a UK passport, so we can live in the UK if we wish. There maybe other places that we prefer, suit us at present or our families more, but we do have a nice fall back position, cf. with being from Somalia at present (or wherever the next coup happens).

Been away 16 years and do not want to go back. Miss BBC (but can download programmes), Saturday Telegraph, Sunday Times, M&S ready meals, country pubs, irony, decent bookshops, theatre, Good Food magazine and being able to buy all the ingredients for a recipe.
If I had to go back would be concerned about cost of housing and poor standard of education.

been away 4 years (this time) and think this is it for us - we're not going to stay here forever but I can't think of anything that would bring us back to UK or Ireland voluntarily - everytime I go there it's just so depressing! no jobs, government seems to mess everything up and the riots were just the icing on the cake - completely senseless and ridiculous. Where i live of course has it's problems and downside but back in the Uk we'd both have to work to live and we'd be far worse off financially - we just have a nicer life here.

We're in the process of buying a house back "home" and everyone says "oh are you coming back" - my stock reply has become "no, that means we'll be away longer but we can't stand the idea of spending several weeks a year staying with you!" Who knows what it will be like when the parents are older etc but for the moment we;re where we want to be.

Shdiva - you know M&S on nanjing lu has frozen ready meals? not the same I know... I've also started downloading the Sunday times and Good Food magazine and books onto my ipad (bloody brilliant invention - don't know why I thought it was a stupid idea before!).... am with you on buying all the ingredients though - must be a lot better than 16 years ago tho!!

Where to live in the world is one of the toughest questions IMO.
I've been out of the UK for nearly 12 years and I can't imagine going back, but that doesn't mean I never would.

I loved living in Japan, but at times it was stressful and I found it hard being so far from home. We got few UK visitors and it was hard and expensive to get back.
Now we're in Belgium. I don't love it quite as much as Portofino , but it's a good country and has many advantages. I also love the fact that I'm in Europe, with european summers and lots of family visits.

I have visited Oz twice, but even during a year on a working holiday visa, I didn't feel the need to emigrate there. I believe it has many good points, but it too is a long way from Europe.

I don't know where we will end up next, but it's something I think about often.

I'd go back tomorrow. We're also in Belgium, I've been here 5 years and DH 7. Both my kids were born here and I agree totally that there are objective advantages to being here (my eldest has been very sick and I'd say medical care is near the top of the list from my perspective).

The fact is though, to me UK is HOME and I get big bouts of homesickness that no objective advantages can compensate. Miss my mum, my sister, all my friends, London, the theatre, the ballet, the countryside ... oh, and Waitrose. Really, I'd go tomorrow.

I think we will one day- apart from anything else, DH and I both feel that we should be there for our parents when they get old- they're fine now, but another 10 years might be a different story.

I spent much of the summer back in the UK and have mixed feelings about going back. I love it (especially London and the New Forest) but I also have a lot of doubts about where Europe is going. I'm not sure it's the best place for DS to think of as home.

Long term yes. I miss the scenery and the concept of a 24 Tesco.

But I couldn't bear to put my children in a shit school with ineffectual teachers. Can't afford public schools and don't want to live in a big city. Can't afford not to work but home educate instead.

We were in the UK for a week this summer and we loved it, but we did admit we were viewing through rose-tinted specs. My parents and their friends all live in half a mill houses in the middle of nowhere where unemployment is rife and 'good' jobs pay 14k a year... Quite a jump to that nice house. As visitors we don't get too angry about cctv intrusion, rabid council tax bills or endless rules.

Towards the end of the week we realised that the Tesco we'd been dawning over seemed to house the unemployed and socially 'lost'. Far too many young people in abject poverty with clearly no future.

I hate the UK drink/tv culture, but as others have pointed out, you've got a nerve blaming your behaviour on others. If you want to ride a bike or go for a swim there is nobody stopping you.

We are riding my horse tomorrow, swimming on Monday and skiing on Tuesday, our British friends will no doubt be on the lash. It's got nothing to do with postcode - and on that note, it's your family (husband and children) and your own soul which give you happiness and joy, not your postcode!

Is fecking kill for a decent Indian who'd deliver though.

Iteotwawki - I think I live in the same country you do judging by your description. There is no way I would move back to the UK now. We have been here almost 3 years and I can honestly say, apart from my family there is nothing that I really miss. Our life over here is lived outside most of the year and we have far more quality family time than we ever had in the UK. Schools are better, house prices are more accessible and our lifestyle is immeasurable improved.
I would also like to comment on Belgium. We lived briefly in Brussels for 18 months. It is a great country and is very family orientated. However I had issues with the fact that they do send their kids to school from two and a half and if you dont send your child at that age you are considered a bit odd. I thought it was a great place to live as an adult but not somewhere I wanted to raise my kids. I think this is because we lived in Brussels and the fact that my language skills are so poor!

No.

It's been too long, I left at 21 yo, I'm now 43. I think probably the UK I miss doesn'exist anymore due to the rolling on of time.

Italy has issues, I miss stuff and my sister being nearby.

But for better or worse I think this is my home now even if I regard the UK as home "proper".

I want half my ashes taken home though.

Scattered in a shopping centre probably :o

fastweb There's definite truth in that. I've only been away 12 years, but the UK I remember is not the UK which seems to exist now. :(

alpine pony

Isn't is odd feeling when "home home" feels more foreign than "home"?

I like going home home, but I cnstantly get jarred by how much of the experience feels like a visit abroad.

It took me a long time to settle here, I think having to go through that process to adjust to
iving atnhome would do my head in, cos the whole concpet of feeling like an immigrant in my homeland...freaks me out a bit. feeling like a forrin type here cmes under the heading of normal, cos I am an immigrant, but feeling like that at home ? That would just be too odd for words.

Plus DH would be in constant food/weather/lifestyle whinge mode driving me batty.

alpine pony

Isn't is odd feeling when "home home" feels more foreign than "home"?

I like going home home, but I cnstantly get jarred by how much of the experience feels like a visit abroad.

It took me a long time to settle here, I think having to go through that process to adjust to
iving atnhome would do my head in, cos the whole concpet of feeling like an immigrant in my homeland...freaks me out a bit. feeling like a forrin type here cmes under the heading of normal, cos I am an immigrant, but feeling like that at home ? That would just be too odd for words.

Plus DH would be in constant food/weather/lifestyle whinge mode driving me batty.

I think it depends where you live now and why you want to move back. We lived in the USA for six years and moved back to the UK two years ago. We'd always intended to move back here because we love being in Europe and travelling to the continent regularly, and I come from a big family that I really missed when we were overseas. Now that we're back and settled in a pleasant town outside London I have no regrets about our move. I was really settled and happy in the US by the time we left and I had a group of really good friends, but there were many things that we didn't like. Namely, the work culture (all work and no play, hardly any holiday time, absurd competitiveness that meant you couldn't take your paltry holiday or you'd be seen as a slacker against the others who competed to take as few days off each year as possible), the insane competitiveness of parenting/schooling/hot-housing of children in the area we lived (NYC), the distance and expense of coming back to Europe regularly, plus missing family and feeling our kids were missing out on having a close relationship with them.

The only real minus I can think of in terms of being back here is the cost of living, which is considerably more than the US. However, I prefer the mild English weather to the freezing winters and baking summers of east coast USA, and I feel the work/life balance here is better (although the UK is becoming ever more work-focused and family life being eroded as a result - for really good work/life balance you need to live somewhere like Scandinavia).

opps, sorry for double post, having touchpad issues. Think I have fat fngertips or something.

YES!!

It's cost us a fortune moving overseas and another fortune to stay here -

• visa restrictions so I can't work so on 1 salary not 2 as in UK
• higher cost of living: food, accom etc
• paying for education and health services

More importantly, it's not safe here, it's hideously car-bound and I miss (yes, really) having public transport nearby, esp for a long journey.

I hate seeing my kids being homesick, I want to be able to casually meet up with friends down the pub/in town (on foot, by myself, at night, oh joy!)

i apprecaite it all so much more now we're not there. hope it's not a case of grass is greener and I end up missing all this when back in grey England.

When things are not going well or you are feeling a bit 'low' in your adopted country, it is very easy to imagine that things would be much better back 'home' and that your problems would somehow evaporate (or feel much less weighty).

It is also easy to imagine that your friends/family (who drop everything when you are there for a visit), would occupy every spare moment with fun activities and intimate chats. What people often experience is that - in your absence - those people have built full and busy lives without you. So often you have to make more effort than you anticipated to reconstruct a life for yourself 'back home'.

Beware that you don't live in a romantic fantasy world when thinking of 'home' and the people there. Everywhere (even home) has its' gritty realities, aggravations, loneliness and day to day tedious tasks.

yes, you're right of course. But long-term friendship and family does count for something as does safety, good infrastructure, good services all of which we lack here.