wherever you are - expat support thread, new or otherwise, sign in here for support/advice/comparing stories etc

[ExpatAgain]

Well, a few of us seem to think this is a good idea, so here goes!

I'm 39, got 2 dc both at school (youngest just half-day though) am "trailing" my husband whose job moved him to Africa 6 months ago..

I love many things about it but am struggling right now as back to being SAHM something I'm not a natural for...Looking forward to developing closer friends here. we've also had lots of security issues which we need to do something about or move house again and dc have been much more homesick than I'd reckoned for.

On the good side, it's great to have ventured out of the UK, it's a fantastic outdoor life in summer, when everything works, i've got time to keep fit, see the kids more.

Hope some of you want to join me on here

[differentnameforthis]

Another in Australia here. Emigrated to Adelaide in June 2006.

Am soon to be 38, married & have 2 girls. dd1 7 & born in UK & dd2 almost 3, born here.

Up until 2/3 months ago, life was good. And suddenly home sickness hit me like a tonne. Completely. Unexpected.

Dh lived here for several years before leaving to live short term in the UK, but stayed there longer. We decided to come back after holiday-ing here & thinking it would be a better place to raise children.

It really isn't! Not in our eyes, not any more. So we are planning a return to the UK in 2ish years. Dh has never settled, so it fits well for all of us. I think from an education POV, dds will be better in the UK. Never thought I would return, but their education is paramount!

I have no regrets, we have had a great time, a great experience. But I don't want all that to override the important stuff.

[southofthethames]

Anyone out there in Bahrain? DH has had job offer and we are wondering whether to go there with him (it is not a permanent post but you never know with these things). And what is the security/political situation there like now?

[Kiwinyc]

One of the pluses about moving to the ME is that we think our children will get a better quality schooling where we're going - we would never pay for private here (not at primary school age) but as part of an ex-pat package Dh's company will be playing the school fees for the ME branch of a UK private prep school where we will be living so they will benefit from class sizes of 18-20 per class vrs 30 in London and generally more spacious surroundings and an educational ethos they wouldn't get in the UK unless you pay for it. They will stay in Brit curriculum for now but if we are still overseas when they are older we will probably push towards an IB international school.

We both (DH is a Brit) think that the UK education system is generally screwed up at secondary level, with constantly changing standards and levels of qualifications so neither of us want to subject our children to that.

I was educated in NZ and the US so i know you certainly do not need a degree from a British university to be successful anywhere.

[wordsonascreen]

Southofthethames

Dh's company has closed their Bahrain office ,repatriated all employees and have no plans to reopen anytime soon.

I would be very carefull

[samoa]

Hi All. Great thread. I have been an expat since I was 1 year old beause of my father's work. I have gone into the same line of work and so have continued the expat life. I just can't stop!

I met my dh when I was in Rome, and lucky enough he loves to travel too. We moved to a Pacific island together and returned to Rome 3 years ago and now we are getting ready to move to West Africa. We also have a 16mth old dd.

Although I enjoy the expat life it does get harder as I get older, harder to make friends, especially the last few years. I do miss my family quite a bit, especially since we are spread out around the world.

[idlevice]

I'm in Aus, been here for 4 years but will hopefully be back in the Uk by the end of the year. Dp & I used to be the most non-family type of people, him being brought up not by his biological parents & me an only child of two only children. We saw our family maybe 3 or 4 times a year & had good relationships but not the sort where we were phoning every day. But now having had our DS out here I am desperate to show him off to them properly & just let him enjoy their company, & goodness knows, have a bit of break from 24-7 parenting ourselves.

Aus has some very good points & I'm glad for the experience, as if we hadn't moved we wouldn't have had DS. I also thought I was a pretty relaxed laidback person but emigrating totally took me out of my comfort zone which was a right shock, & quite refreshing. I just hope I don't end up with the curse of the expat, where you want the best of both worlds and can't settle.

[southofthethames]

Thank you Wordsonascreen, those were my thoughts exactly. Have tried to dissuade him for applying for half a year now, but the recession in the UK isn't offering more attractive alternatives! The company is actually a Bahrain financial institution which had a London office prior to the credit crunch. When 7th July came, DH and I were each about 5 or 6 tube stops away from the actual blasts in London, so he thinks he has a lot of luck I guess. And also the argument that "London is just as dangerous" (but he commutes in nowadays,we don't live in the big smoke any more)! I'll feel a bit more confident if someone actually posts back to say the situation is very safe and reports are exaggerated...........else I guess we'll be living a military family lifestyle for a bit then!

[thumbwitch]

Southofthethames - there must be other places your DH can try for jobs than Bahrain or London? What attracts him to Bahrain? Would other places be as attractive to him?

[southofthethames]

I asked - the financial sector as you know is not in a great place at present (and he's not even one of the million pound bonus banker types!) It's not the country, it's the fact that the bank is based there. I'd love for a similar job to come up somewhere "peaceful" - Geneva/New York/Chicago/Tokyo/HK :-)...I even joked that had he got the job in one of these places, I'd be booking the flights already and making him follow us! Haha. I guess there are already a million other financial sector workers thinking the exact same thing as me - hence no more jobs.

[TheBride]

Southofthethames- what does he do in banking exactly? There is a lot of hiring in Asia atm. There may not be many expat packages around anymore, but there are jobs if you're prepared to be hired on a local contract

[Kiwinyc]

South - I've been told there are opportunities in Doha (Qatar) in Banking - it's next door to Bahrain but is completely stable and had no problems during the Arab Spring. Aside from that it's similar in distance from the UK, climate, etc. You still get the essential ex-pat package and the no income tax thing appeals to many. ;)

[bedubabe]

As Kiwi says try Qatar. They're hiring in various places (depending on what he does ofcourse). Personally I wouldn't go to Bahrain - it's a powder keg and had been for the last five years or so. No one who knew the area was surprised at the unrest.

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck]

Hello all! I'm in Brittany, France an d have been here for 5 years now. It was a choice (not work) to come here and everyday I change my opinion on it. Some days I hate anything and everything French, other days I can't imagine ever going back to the UK. I have 2 dcs, ds, 4.10 an dd, 2.11.

[alexpolismum]

Hello Gilbonzo! Whereabouts in Brittany are you? I used to live in Quimper before moving to Greece, and I loved it! It's a long time ago now, though!

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck]

I'm more inland, about 20 mins north-east of Vannes. Quimper is one of those places I keep meaning to visit but then life gets in the way...... How's living in Greece? My parents go to Crete every year and adore it but say the language puts them off making the move but that's just an excuse to gloss over mum's wussiness

[TabithaTwitchet]

Hello, thought I would join in I have a 3.5 year old, and another baby due any day now. We have been here since the end of last summer, and I'm really enjoying it, despite the language barrier and the shock of not working.
I do miss my friends and my job from the UK, but we are lucky that we can get fairly cheap flights back to the UK to visit, and friends and family can easily come and visit us too. Hoping the children will end up bilingual, it is a great opportunity for them, and we live in a lovely city.

[alexpolismum]

It has its ups and downs, but I do love living in Greece. For me, the language was a bonus! I couldn't wait to start learning it. But then, I already spoke other foreign languages (they're a bit rusty now, though, after all this time!) from my experiences in other countries, so I saw it as a challenge rather than a barrier.

English is not really a problem in Crete, though. There's a sizeable British expat community there, and there's even one village that's majority British now!

[southofthethames]

Thanks Bride - I asked about Asia (my first choice!) : he says there's nothing for his level, only like CEO or director, and then it's "outsourcing"/junior level, and he's in between those. Thanks Kiwi -Will see if Qatar has anything similar to what he does. We won't get an expat package but the Bahrain one is tax free. I am resigning myself to pretending to be the spouse of a war correspondent or a soldier in a warring country...! Thanks Bedubabe - that info is indeed valuable. You reckon it is going to continue for a bit? - that is the impression I get from what I can glean from the web (in English, of course, I don't read Arabic so no Arabic news will come up).

[TheBride]

South what your DH says is largely true. The problem with Asia (for us, not them) is that in contrast to the Middle East (I'm talking about you, UAE ) the skills transfer to the local population has been massive over the last 10 years or so. Yes, people still complain that locals are too "Yes Boss", work to rule, wont take risks, and lack initiative, but overall, a local person can be found to do most professional jobs. Expats are largely used to fill the gaps in more senior posts- perhaps posts where there only happen to be 5 people worldwide with the right experience, posts where you're predominantly dealing with Western clients, or jobs where they, for whatever reason, need a native English speaker to do the role.

[southofthethames]

TheBride - agree, DH and I discussed this situation a few years back, we visited Asia, and he had a look around the office and basically found nobody in it that wasn't junior. (Perhaps not unsurprisingly to us, a good number of people in areas like Singapore were SENIOR to their UK equivalents!) We're not desperate to go abroad - what with schooling and all that to consider.... it's just that the situation in Britain is a bit disheartening for someone who's already doing 12 hour work days to find your pay actually lower than last year (after accounting for inflation)......I am not concerned myself but I can understand how frustrating it is for him.
Sorry, expat friends, didn't mean to hijack your thread! Keep going with your posts - it's really illuminating to hear what one might expect. All your new locales sound great (easy when you're comparing it to a political powderkeg, haha)....hope you all have time to enjoy the stuff out there us lot still in Blighty don't get a chance to do, whether it be hitting the beach after the school run (envy!) or sightseeing in some of the other amazing places like Greece.

[Canella]

Hi Tabitha!! Another Bayern MNetter here!! Whereabouts are you? I'm in the very North of Bayern - nearly at the old Ost border!!
How's your german getting on? How have you found the locals? Its taking me longer than I thought to totally get to grips with the language (damn those cases!) but language classes really helped.

We've got a German thread going - you should join us. We were all new to the thread at some point.

[tadjennyp]

Hello, I've been living in the US in Oregon for 3 years now and moved here with dh's job. I am a SAHM with a 5 yr old dd, 3 yr old ds both born in the UK and a four month old ds born here. Where we live is absolutely beautiful and a wonderful place to bring up children but I doubt that my career as a German teacher can really take flight over here due to budget cuts etc. Two hours a week isn't cutting it! I can't leave the country at the moment because of visa issues so I'm feeling a bit trapped. Really looking forward to my parents visiting next week as they will be the first family to meet our new baby!

[thumbwitch]

Am vaguely wondering whether to go and gatecrash the German thread and see if I can understand any of it any more - but my German vocab is down there with all the other languages I learnt - no better than basic. I still understand the grammatical structure ok, just have no vocab.

On a plus note - I can say "I have forgotten everything" or "I can't speak XXXX" in all the languages I used to "know"

[LeMousquetaireAnonyme]

Ah ah ah! I am with thumbwitch with the language thing! I can't even remember my own native language when I spent too much time without speaking

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck]

alexplolis I wish I had your enthusiasm for languages. I just had a French lesson this morning and ended up in tears because I feel so bloody useless not understanding it all. It's been 5 years and I can still only manage basic conversation. I'm definitely not a natural linguist!