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Living overseas

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where's best to live in nz,and what do we need to know?

999 replies

AngryBeaver · 16/01/2011 20:57

My dh has been on at me for a year to move from the uk.He wanted Quebec,which looked gorgeous and romantic,but i wasn't sold on the winters and coudn't leave my mum.
He recentley said he wanted to move to NZ and i thought ,yeah if it's warm and a better life than here,let's do it.
So we've got fuck all money and 3 kids under 4.5 ...but we want to do it.
I don't know what's changed in me for me to agree ,but I hear th schools and hospitals are fab,and just want the best life for my lovely children.
I'm worrying though because I've read the houses are crap and cold.
We want sun,space and not too expensive (don't we all!)
We thought Tauranga,but that seems quite busy and we've read about boy racers.
We don't want Wellington as we've heard it's windy and weather not great.
Does anyone know about Nelson?Heard it's nice weather,but what's the reality?
We are going to put the house on the market this week,I am shitting myself,but I feel it's now or never.
Any help or advice,gratefully recieved

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Sibble · 26/01/2011 06:23

He was, of course, fine. He had a great day, has done his homework! I however, managed about an hours proper work all day and tomorrow he gets the school bus for the first time ever on his own as I have to go into the office for meetings and to interview new staff. Fat chance of me concentrating tomorrow either. DH has told me to get a grip as I wanted to get him a phone in case he has problems - deep breath by next week we will be fine. Although the 7.30am drop off at the bus stop, 8am drop at the holiday programme for ds2, and 4pm and 4.20 pm pick up on the way back may prove to be a challenge tomorrow - I fear 2 tired boys tomorrow night!

AngryBeaver · 26/01/2011 07:30

Thanks kiwi,I'm sure we'll sort it out.
Glad your ds enjoyed his new school sibbble, Intermediate sounds like a really good idea!Smile

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Shells · 26/01/2011 18:47

Sibble - well done. New schools are huge aren't they. I am dreading DS starting Intermediate (not for two more years). He tells me on good authority (his friend's brother) that 'you learn all about sex, mum'.

Oh great.

AngryBeaver - sorry your Mum is in such a bad way. We have English friends who live down the road from us and her Mum comes and stays for 3 months every (NZ) summer and its so lovely for the kids as they have a decent time with Grandma and she gets to escape the worst of English winter.

AngryBeaver · 26/01/2011 21:13

I was just reading in the NZ Herald about how expensive the uniforms are..it sounds quite outrageous!How do people afford that if the wages aren;t that great?

thanks shells,she looked like a bloodhound today.I did manage to find a really nice looking retirement village in omokoroa (Country Estate)..not that she is very old!Anyway,she took the piece of paper I'd written the web address on and said she'd look at it when she got home.
At least it's a glimmer of hope that she'll come with us...I'm probably kidding myself though

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buzzybee · 27/01/2011 00:03

angrybeaver, do a search on the NZ immigration website. I think you'll find there are a few options for parents which recognises just the issue you are going through. What it boils down to is that if you and your DH are the sort of people the NZ immigration service thinks NZ needs (skills etc) then they try and be accommodating to a certain degree around other family members to encourage you to come.
From memory your mother could:
Stay for up to 3 months in any 12 months under the standard visitor visa (visa waiver scheme).
Apply for a 3 year multiple entry visa whereby she can come and go as many times as she likes, up to a max of 18 months over 3 years.
Once you've been here 3 years she can apply to join you as family, with you sponsoring her (and agreeing to cover all her costs) with some sort of rule around "the majority of her family live in NZ" - which I think is usually judged to be "all or most of her children" but you might also be able to argue for grandchildren.

Hi sibble! All grown up and at intermediate school! I don't have that to look forward to for 4 years yet as DD1's primary goes through to year 8. Can't quite decide whether I think its a good or bad thing.

AngryBeaver · 28/01/2011 12:01

thanks very much buzzybee,good news.I was panicking there for a while.
I've given her the information and found them a nice place to buy! Am leaving them to think things through now.
It's very difficult to make that decision.Apart from having other children and granchildren here,my gran is also here,in a Care Home,and looks forward to her visits(every other day)
I don't think my mum would be able to leave her..but she could live for another 15 years..how long do you put your own life on hold? Or is it your duty to stay?

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TechnoKitten · 30/01/2011 06:19

Bit late to this thread but my $0.02 :)

The best place to live depends rather on what you're looking for in NZ. We love Nelson but realise it's not for everyone. If you take a look at the Emigrate NZ forums there's a section called "Locations" which has a few threads on different areas, good places to live in each city, good points and bad points.

Parents and family left in the UK is always going to be a tough one. We've been here 2 years and keep in touch with regular Skype calls. Christmas morning we moved the computer upstairs to the living room and the children opened presents with all the family there via Skype - was good. (Then we spent the rest of the day with a chicken & stuffing & salad picnic on the beach which was also good!)

How long you put your life on hold again depends on what sort of family situation you're in currently. We talked to both sets of parents before leaving - FIL thinks we're mad not to have moved here years before we did, MIL is looking at moving here with us and my own father has visited twice for extended periods since we've been here. I think we have actually seen him more and certainly spoken more on phone calls and things than we did when we lived an hour away from him. My husband is an only child though so it's easier for him as he really only has his parents. I do miss my family but so far the benefits of being here have made me very happy about the move. My niece and nephew are growing up and doing their own thing, my brother and sister have their own lives and we keep in touch regularly. As far as the visas go, you can stay here up to 6 months on the regular visitor visa (if you're from a visa waiver country) in any 12 month period. The grandparent visa allows for multiple entries of up to 18 months total in any 3 years with each stay a maximum of 6 months (but no time limit between stays, so you could stay for 18 months and have a weekend trip to Oz twice in the middle to fulfil visa requirements).

Cost of living - DH thinks that when we moved here (2 years ago) the cost of living was approx 2/3 that of the UK, but the salaries were about 1/2 so it was in real terms more expensive here. Books, clothes & shoes definitely more expensive, food I think is about the same or cheaper (we use the local vege shop for fresh produce and pak'n'save for the rest).

Small size and limited economic future - that depends on what happens to the world when the oil runs out plus/minus global warming hits! I think NZ will be one of the more pleasant places to be :)

DS1 starts primary this year, can't decide if I'm looking forward to it or going to cry. Probably both :) Schools here in particular are excellent, there isn't a single one I wouldn't send the boys to. There is also something called One Day School where G&T children can attend and most schools are keen on sending the brighter ones along. For younger kids there is Small Poppies (the equivalent of ODS at a nursery age).

Generally for young children NZ is great. Playgrounds everywhere, most schools have at least 2-3 large climbing frames and a swimming pool. For older children/teens I think it can get a bit difficult unless you're very sporty. There isn't so much going on as the UK in terms of weekend activities/museums etc.

Healthcare I think is better than the UK although less is funded - prescriptions are cheaper, but many surgical procedures aren't funded on the public system so if you want them doing you need to go privately (and therefore need insurance). There is also a reasonably long waiting list for many things (over a year in some cases).

Sorry for the essay! In general while there is a lot that I miss about the UK (family mainly, M&S foodhall occasionally), there is nothing I would move back for currently. We have really settled here and the boys in particular are thriving. There is also a lot about the UK I'm very pleased to have left (mostly the politics/economical situation).

AngryBeaver · 30/01/2011 13:30

Never to late technokitten Smile,i'm interested in gleaning as much knowledge from as many sources as possible.It's a huge decision we're trying to make,and I appreciate everybody's input.
It's nice that your mil/pil? are considering making the move.Which part are you in if you don't mind me asking?

Things are very strained between my mum and I. She rang me up the other evening and said that the retirement village looked awful,that she wasn't some wrinkly to be written off etc and had been on the net and had a list as long as your arm,of negatives about nz.
These included, House crime and boy racer's as well as the cost of living compared to wages.
I am a little worried aas I hear more about this boy racing thing though I must admit.
Does anyone know how prevelant this is?

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AngryBeaver · 30/01/2011 13:33

edit..too late

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WhatSheSaid · 30/01/2011 18:20

Umm...boy racers...doesn't affect me at all, I don't hear any where I live but apparently there are some places where they are a problem.

Partially so many of them because you can drive at 15 here and insurance is not compulsory (so 15 year olds are not prevented from getting a car by high insurance costs). Pubs/clubs are very strict on ID so what do you do when you're 15 and can't get into pubs - you drive round at night at high speeds in your car...

They do keep talking about raising the driving age here so maybe that will happen at some point.

AngryBeaver · 30/01/2011 21:18

fucking hell!15????God,that's crazy...thinking back to when I was 15,Im not suprised there is a problem.Is it more around cities or in the 'burbs also?
Is there a drink driving problem over there?

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febes · 31/01/2011 00:10

The boy racers are more in the 18-25 age group though IME. The ones that have more money to 'pimp their rides'. Saying that I haven't been effected by them at all.
I learnt to drive at 15 but you start by only being allowed to drive with a parent or guardian until you have passed various tests. There not much in the way of public transport (although it has improved alot) so most people drive and have their own cars from an early age. Unlike the London where I had friends in their 30s who didn't drive despite many lesson.

TechnoKitten · 31/01/2011 10:12

There is a lot of discussion about raising the driving age or putting more restrictions on the provisional license. Because so much of the population is rural, 15 year olds driving was historically a good thing (got them to school, for example).

Drink driving is a problem here in that people don't seem as anti it as the UK. Particularly younger kids (teens to early 20s) don't think twice about hitting town for several drinks and then driving home. There is more awareness of it, we've been stopped before for random breathcheck (husband was sober driver as he doesn't drink at all but the car reeked!) and I think the message will get through.

Boy racers is something I've not really been aware of here but I don't think we have as many as other places. Christchurch in particular is infamous in that respect. Also not really noticed any gangs here though they are around in the rest of NZ.

As far as house crime goes, I know a few people that still don't lock their doors when they go out! The culture is less materialistic I think. Still there are a few worse areas and places where drugs are a problem, higher crime goes with that as with anywhere. It's definitely better than where we were in the UK.

We're in Nelson - top end of South Island, near the Abel Tasman national park. MIL can't wait to get here, she loves it. Sorry your family isn't so supportive / accepting. Retirement villages aren't the only option though - most houses here are single storey and you can get insulated & heated ones! I think your mother's possibly trying to come up with negatives to stop you going.

AngryBeaver · 31/01/2011 14:12

Well, I've just been reading a thread on the Expat New Zealand site called high's and lows...Wow.There are some unhappy people oon that thread.Far more negative veiws than I have read on mn.There are lists with sub-headings like;
Positives
Beautiful
Outdoor activities

Negatives
Racism
low wages
damp/crap housing
drink driving
rudeness
expensive
shit schools (first time Ive heard that!)
God botherers

and on it went...some of the stories were pretty awful.It gave me a pretty broken nights sleep tbh!
I'm not daft though and believe if you go somewhere,you have to be positive,and make the most of it.
Probably some of thesse people would be miserable wherever they went.
One woman sounded absolutley nuts,and I laughed as was reading it as she sounded so paranoid.I thought,all the posts after this will be like,'Is this a joke?', or 'You're talking nonsense' etc but the next PAGE of reponses bloody AGREED!!!

It did get a bit more sensible after that,but it worried me a little.
One Welsh guy made me laugh,he wrote something like 'Stop moaning,If your house is cold,get central heating!It's good here and the right person could do well..I just drink beer and surf though.The people are ok,but some of the women could do with a shave...a bit like Wales really!' Grin

techno,Nelson looks lovely..I did say to dh I'd like to live there but doubt he'd get a job.Yes,my mum is desperately trying to come up with stuff to put us off,God hepl me if she ever finds the other thread !!Grin

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TechnoKitten · 31/01/2011 18:09

Maybe I should do my own list!

Positives
Scenery
Weather
Outdoor activities / watersports / beaches
Better work life balance
Better education (NZ rates higher than UK in league tables)
Less crime
Less drug problems
Better economical situation (UK being bankrupt in all but name)
Friendly natives ( :) )
Seasonal produce - cheaper & tastes so much better

Negatives
Distance & cost to get here / return trips
Distance from Europe for cheap weekends away
Fewer museums for the boys (Te Papa is great but means flying to Wellington)

Never come across racism, rudeness, boy racers, god bothers and the schools around Nelson are all good.

Damp/crap housing - you get what you pay for. We're renting a house which is insulated, double glazed, north facing & dry / warm all year round. Think we had the heat pump on 5-6 times over winter (which is only 6 weeks long here anyway). There is cheap crap housing in the UK too! Most housing here is built to withstand earthquakes (so timber framed/flexible) and the local climate (26? today).

I have heard rumours that the expat NZ forum is full of negativity or people who were unhappy with their move and I agree, I think they'd be unhappy anywhere. Try here and read the 6 month / year / 2 year etc anniversary threads, they are far more positive.

febes · 31/01/2011 19:28

AngryBeaver I went on that NZ expat forum once and I was horrified. It really isn't that bad in my opinion.

Positives
Larger sections and houses for your money
Outdoor lifestyle
Friendly people
Excellent schools (I'm a teacher and have taught in the UK and NZ)
Excellent Early childhood provisions
Yummy food- it grows really well in your gardens too

Negatives
Distance from anywhere else
more expensive toys and electricals

I have no problems with boy racer (and I'm in Chch), god botherers, drugs, crime (we leave our door unlocked when we go out, mostly because we forget) or gangs.
I think when you are here the crime seems quite bad because the media reports every crime as theres not that much else going on. In the UK you only here about the really horrific crimes in the news.
I think people are very aware of drink driving here much better than in SA where people don't even think twice. There are lots of checkpoints where they breathilise people.

AngryBeaver · 31/01/2011 21:32

Phew,thank you for that you two,a bit of comfort!!I think some of the people on there were really suffering financially.One woman said she earned $12 an hour and her husband waqs a sparky,they couldn't afford to buy their kid's glasses,another one worked in a call centre who complained of aggresive/weird/abusive colleages who bullied him into leaving by shouting'you take it up the arse'Hmm
A girl who said she'd lived ina lot of countries but had never met such unfriendly,disinterested people,then said she had struggled to buy internet for $30 per month,then got a bill for $800 because they'd charged for use over 200 mb.
But Iver heard loads of people on here saying that they skype all the time and use the net,so????
Someone else said that broadband was shit and 'good luck' getting it outside Aukland.
I dunno,Im just very glad I can read such positive ,balanced accounts on mn.

I feel relieved hearing that the boy racer and drink driving thing is not as widespread as it sounded.

Is it true the kiwi's are not keen on Brits,in general?

They said it was 'an undeniable fact',that if they hear the accent they cool off,but are definitely friendlier if they hear a Welsh/Scottish/Irish accent?
My dh is Irish,but my kids have a Lancs accent so am a bit worried they'd be picked on [although, theyre only 4 and 2 so will lose it soon enough)..am worried theyl be teased for having a pomm mum and paddy dad!

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febes · 01/02/2011 00:34

My sister has 5 british friends that she meet through her various anti-natal and plunket groups and they all love it here. I'll ask them when I see them this week if they have ever experienced that kind of thing.

Its funny because I was in London when I went to anti-natal classes and there was only one british SA, Poland, USA NZ etc

I have a dongal (modem stick thingy) Which cost $70 and came with 3gig. We got it in the mid of December when we arrived and its still going strong. We use it for skype, email, facebooking, MN etc so not downloading much but I'm impressed by its speed no different to my lovely London Broadband. We also have a prepay sim card which we have used about $40 per month so far. The company is a new one called 2degrees. We haven't got a phone line in yet cause we haven't got jobs yet but I know that my friends pay $50 per month for wireless broadband through vodaphone.

WhatSheSaid · 01/02/2011 03:11

Angry well I was trying to keep it from you but yeah, I do spend a lot of time being chased around by angry Kiwis shouting "Go home, Pom" at me. Wink

NOT REALLY! Sorry, just being a bit silly there. Seriously, I have never ever experienced anyone giving me a hard time because I'm English. There's thousands of English people here. As for disliking English but liking Welsh/Scots/Irish accents, quite a lot of people can't really tell the difference between the accents - I've been regularly asked if I'm Irish. My Irish friend got free treatment at A+E because the dr assumed he was Scottish (freee reciprocal treatment as UK citizen).

(Hi to Febes - I think we were in the same antenatal MN group - Nov 2007)

ZacharyQuack · 01/02/2011 03:45

Hi AngryBeaver. I'm a Kiwi, living in Wellington and have been reading your thread with interest.

I think it's interesting but a bit pointless trying to form a picture of life in NZ by reading internet forums - you'll generally only hear the extremes.

It would be like trying to imagine life in the UK by reading MN threads.

  • Supermarket rage
  • Parking battles
  • Crime, bullying and vandalism
  • Breast vs Bottle feeding wars
  • Motorway madness
  • Pram insanity
  • Loud neighbours through shared walls

Is this your day to day life? Neither is most of the stuff you've read about NZ typical of the kiwi's life.

(NB. It's a gorgeous sunny day in Wlg today)

febes · 01/02/2011 05:27

Hi whatshesaid I was/am on nov 2007! What was your name then? I remember there was someone in NZ-must be you! Hows your DC typical threeager?

AngryBeaver · 01/02/2011 07:53

Grin...thank you for the perspectve,I needed that.
I'm still looking forward to the move (hurry up job offer) but I suppose I have to be realistic and not think of nz as The Land Of Milk and Honey. When dh first suggested it,I thought,yeah!!It's sunny and cheap and we'll be able to buy a massive house with 5 acres of land,and everyone's happy all the time and there's no crime!! Stupid,I know! But it's great that at least that bubble's been burst here rather than the other side of the world!

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WhatSheSaid · 01/02/2011 08:02
Grin

I also agree with ZacharyQuack, it's hard to get a fully accurate picture from the internet. You will hear good and bad experiences - the same as from any country. I've certainly never had anything nasty at me for being British. Instead I tend to get "Oh, you're from Manchester, you must know my cousin Dave, he lives in Manchester" Grin

Febes I was Annainnz. My 3 year old dd is a bit "threenager"-y at times but mostly not too bad. We have a dd2, born last July. Weren't you going to move to S Africa or am I thinking of someone else from Nov 07?

febes · 01/02/2011 08:12

I remember you! Yes we were going to move to SA but I changed my mind and I'm glad I did. It's so nice being home! I also have DS who is 20 months. Nice to 'see' you again!

Northernlurker · 01/02/2011 16:19

I think you are out of your mind to move to a country you haven't so much as visited. It is a very long way away. If you make a mistake the strain of it will be huge.
I also think it's selfish of you to expect your mum to come too. The feelings of family are an important thing to consider in this situation. As is what happens in a few years (or even months) when somebody becomes seriously ill or dies. You can't possibly know that you won't need to come back here at short notice so you need at the very least an emergency fund to cover that cost.Right now your mum can travel - great. But at any point she could develop an illness that means she can't. I know a family in that position. Family contact is limited to the rare occasions they can get enough together to come over because she can't go there.