To go or not to go... NZ

[ThwopGoesTheMooncup]

Hi all- am quite confused and seeking wise advice.

DH is likely to be offered a job in NZ and we are in two minds about what to do. When he applied it was advertised as 18-24 month contract but now he has been told it is permanent. We have visited NZ and love it, and I have nagged encouraged DH to apply for work there, but this has happened rather quickly and we are torn.

On the one hand, it is a great opportunity (not just the location, it's a good job for DH). Our son is a toddler and we hope to have more children soon so there is nobody older to uproot. I would love to experience the lifestyle and I like a bit of adventure and to give my life a shake every couple of years.

Our parents are in pretty good health and certainly fit anough to visit at the moment. This might not be the case in a few years, and our son will be older, so I feel that if we are going to do this it must be now or it won't be until we retire.

BUT our families would miss DS (and us) dreadfully, and I would miss them. And I do not want to emigrate permanently. I know the fact the job is permanent doesn't mean we are stuck there (they will relocate us with a two year tie in) but it feels a bit different IYSWIM. And what if we love it?

Also I work in a professional job albeit part time and would have to give it up. This doesn't bother me massively as I was thinking of retraining in any case and I hope to have another baby soon. But that may not happen...

To add to all that DS was extremely premature and I am nervous about the antenatal/neonatal care although I suspect it would be very good as any developed country and the town we would live in has a NICU.

Thank you if you have read all of that. Aargh! How do we decide?

We are going through similar discussions as we also are emigrating to NZ. The plan is to go at the end of the school year in July 2011.

The way we look at it - it is only a plane ride away. We can always come back. We rationalise it by telling ourselves we are having an adventure as a family which we can look back on as something we did together when our children were young enough to want to be with us but old enough to remember and enjoy it.

In some ways I think your decision is easier than ours. We dont have jobs to go to and our DSs are older and it will uproot them from school.

I would say definitley go now so if you hate it you can come back, put DS in school in the UK and nothing has been lost. If you dont go you will always say to yourself 'what if we had gone?'.

Oh the other thing is we have never actually been to NZ. At least you have been and know you liked it when you visited and DH will have a job.

We will step off the plane with no job, no house, no possessions and no friends, contacts or colleagues.

Yes we are a little bit mad.

Thanks BeenBeta. Wow you are a little bit mad! I am too much of a control freak to do it that way. And you have never been! You are much braver than we are.

I think you are right about looking back in the future. I think you regret the things you didn't do rather than the ones you did. I think.

Do you know whereabouts you want to live?

We didn't do it, and I so regret it. I spent 2 months in NZ nearly twenty years ago, and loved the place. I would happily have had and brought up my children there. Now DH and I are too old to fulfil the visa requirements.

Our main reason for not going was family. My parents were old, not well off, and had never flown. DH wanted to stay near his brother and sister. In reality we would have missed them all awfully. Plus once the children are all in good schools it becomes a lot more complicated and disruptive.

Go now. You can come back in two years or so if you are homesick.

Thanks Butterbur that is interesting to hear. I don't want to look back in twenty years and regret it.

I think we will miss family dreadfully and vice cersa, especially me. DS is my parents' only grandchild and my mum looks after his while I work. I definitely could not say yes to a one way move, the thought makes me very panicky. But I feel really positive about doing it for a period of time and I feel that it is a good time for our family to do that.

Scary stuff though... If we say yes I think things will happen very quickly. Maybe it's better that way.

I had a chat a while ago on MN with a few people who had emigrated to NZ and elsewhere and what they all said was that there is a bit of danger in going somewhere with the intention of coming home after a year or so if you don't like it. I suppose it is the 'whinging pom' syndrome.

All of the people I have talked to say its best to give it two years to decide. The first year is like a holiday but then its the homesickness for friends and relatives and missing things you liked back home that begins to get to you. If you can get past that and see the positives then you wil likely stay and be happy.

I certainly thought about that a lot and think it is he biggest danger we face.

I think that two years is right, BeenBeta, and we would have to repay our relocation costs (eek!) if we moved back sooner. But haveing discussed it with DH I don't think that permanent emigration is what either of us wants. Although it does worry me what will happen if one of us wants to stay.

Well, I will be movingto NZ in 4 weeks time. All the reasons you give for not going Thwop are what put us off from doing it when we first considered it 7 years ago. Anyway, DS is now 6 and if we didn't go very soon we probably would never do it.

So, DH took a rather nice redundancy payout from his school in July and we are off to the North Island in the new year. I am giving up my job, so a lot less incometo start with while I takethe euqivalent professional exams in NZ, but I should be ableto work in my professional capacity by October.

yes, it is just a days flight away. My parents are in their earlu 60's and always holiday in the wee small islands in the UK which take over a day to get there, so the travelling time will be no further for them.

Our plan is to think of it as atwo year working holiday and if we really really like it will stop being a holiday and we will stay.

A lot of people ping pong between the UK and NZ these days. Some see that as a failure but I think it is a reflection of how the world has changed these days.

Why not give it two years and see how it goes? You may find that communication with your family is easier than you expect and they enjoy visiting- or even decide to join you. If the worst case scenario is that you love it and want to stay then that isn't so bad.

I had a baby here in Auckland and cannot fault the care I had. You may get consultant led care through the health service but if not you can pay a 'top up' to private dr care but within the normal hospital system. I did this and it was a great investment (about £2000 for the full package which included a C section for me).

Where are you thinking of heading?

That is a very good point about people doing 'ping pong'. The World is just a heck of a lot smaller now. People moving between countries with their work is very common as firms become more international in their outlook.

A fair few of our friends either are or have been expats for some time of their lives. Although we live in the UK, me and DW could do what we do for a living anywhere on the planet that has an internet connection. One of the reaons we want to go to NZ is to give our children a different perspective (and maybe even a dual nationality) but we fully expect that we and they might well want to come back to the UK or maybe go and live in another country for a while in the future.

Thwop I have to say that reading your post it really seems that you do want to give it a try so why not - what is the downside really? It almost sounds like you're afraid you might like it too much!
Of course you will miss your family but they will have the wonderful opportunity of visiting you in NZ. If you want to do it, don't let them make you feel guilty about it.
It sounds to me like if you don't take this opportunity you'll still have itchy feet - can you really say "no" and feel happy with your decision?
I have "ping ponged" between NZ and Europe 4 times in 20 years and haven't regretted it for a minute. Currently back living in Wellington.

I am v tired as I have just finished school for the year so am a bit incoherent.

We will have been here a year on 1st Jan.
I do miss family: both sets of parents too old/ill to realistically come over but my sister is coming in a month's time to stay for a fortnight. There are 5 of us on 2 teachers' wages so we are not likely to be able to afford going back much. Dh and I have taken mine and his parents' only grandchildren with us, which i feel guilty aabout.

But I am glad we are here, am in Northland like Shelscape will be. Lots of pluses, e.g. I finally have time to go to yoga classes(I am rubbish but that is beside the point) I can pick my lemons off the tree in my back gardensomeone offered to sell me half a sheep cheap the other day (to eat) . Dh has always had itchy feet so he is happy. I am fairly laid back and much the same wherever I can.

Personally I'd say go for it.
Sorry prob not much help but good luck whatever you decide.

Thanks all. I do think we are leaning towards giving it a go- I would hate to look back in a few years and regret not doing it. We are thinking of many things we will miss but that just makes me feel lucky that we are so happy and those things will still be here in a couple of years.

I think you are right about the ping pong. Neither of us sees it as a permanent move, we have said we can see us there in two years but not in ten. We have spoken to family who are supportive although they will be sad to be so far from us.

littlestkiwi We would be in Taranaki.

X post Horopu. Good to hear from someone who has taken the plunge!

2 of the boys from my class are moving down there - everyone says it is lovely but some of the people are a bit odd. Then again some of the people telling me that are a bit odd themselves. And I am down right weird.

I haven't been to Taranaki but my kiwi BF grew up there.

I would think about what sort of people you are- what do you enjoy doing? For me I like living in cities but doing country/beach stuff. So Auckland is fab as it is relatively cosmopolitan (as much as NZ is) but we live 15 mins walk from the beach and can drive to a lot of cool stuff quickly. I think the shift from town to rural would be as hard as shifting UK to NZ.

The thing to remember is that you would be an expat, not a refugee. Very, very easy to pack up and go home if it turns out not to be your cup of tea.

We are ping pong expats. I am home now (DH couldn't be further from his country but we met and married when we lived in the middle), but we are thinking of going back to Hong Kong for a couple of years just because we can (and because we miss the incredibly low income tax rates - am in Oz where it's up to 50% plus a working kidney), and then back here before DCs start primary school.

Hi - we moved to Wellington almost two years ago. DH was offerred a job here and although we had never been to NZ before we took the leap.
We have a 6 year old (she was 4 at the time of the move) and a 3 year old. The move is not something we regret at all. We both love it here and have achieved our aim of a better life for the girls and a better lifestyle and home/work balance for us.
We do miss family, a lot, especially at this time of year. We are also financially not able to make a trip back to the UK until the end of next year. So it will be three years by that time.
However we have been able to find more support and help with babysitting and the like that we ever had in the UK. People are just so much friendlier and willing to help than in the UK. It seems to be part of the culture over here. If you want to make friends and feel part of a community it is so much easier over here.
I initially said no to my DHs suggestion of moving over here. My Nan said that you should always take opportunities given to you in life as life is too short for regrets. So we went for it.

Taranaki - oil?
Upsides are that it is quite wealthy due to the oil jobs, so some very good restaurants and the shopping and arts scene is not bad for a small city. Also I understand the schools are quite good. It's a bit isolated but there is an airport at New Plymouth with regulat connections to Auckland and Wellington. Great beaches and good overall outdoor life including local club ski-field in winter.
Downsides is that its pretty provincial despite the oil and can be a bit wet and windy in winter - west coast of NZ is much wetter than east coast.
I would say you'll love living there for 2 years but will probably have had enough by then so unless you move to a bigger city in NZ then you'll probably be quite happy to go back to the UK.

I have recently moved back to NZ from the UK and both my children are right now happily sunkissed with outdoor exhaustion on the couch.We live in a beautiful community where all the windows are wide open and everyone (young and old) says hello or waves as they go past.Most days we hang out at the park which overlooks the ocean or make huts and dams down in the little inlet that leads out to sea.We may head back to England at some stage but it is so worth it to try out different things in life and your children will love it...My sister is also in Taranaki and it is a very cool place to be, you have surf and snow on the mountain so you can choose your adventure, plus they have amazing cafes...

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. We have more or less decided that if the job offer comes we will take it, with a view to staying two to five years. I think we both feel that the 'what if?' will be too much if we don't. I was also thinking of what advice I would give to a friend with the same dilemma and I would be saying go for it! We are looking at the practical side of things now- renting our house out etc.

buzzybee I have looked into the weather- we are both Welsh so should feel right at home!

I don't know how we will get on living in a small town as we are in a big city now. But we have often talked about moving back to Wales and more rural lifestyle so maybe it will be a good taster.

Does anyone know if I might be able to get a work visa? I am not in an occupation that attracts points unfortunately so I guess it might depend on DH's visa.

if your DH gets into NZ thorugh the skilled migrant criteria you will get a work visa too. We got our visa's because DH is a teacher, I got one too even though they don't want people in my profession. So, while DH has to stay in his skilled job for a minimum of 2 years, I can arse around do what ever work I want when we get.

HAve a look at the NZ Immigration web site, loads a info there.

Yes, I got an unrestricted work visa with OH's work visa/permit.

I would recommend going straight for residence though. That way after two years you would get permanent residence and the right to leave NZ and return to live at any point. After 5 years you would also have the right to live in Oz too. A work permit would have to be renewed at least every two years and would tie your OH to one job. The renewals are not guaranteed and cost a lot of money - new medicals, police certificates each time. It may seem like a big commitment but actually it will just save hassle and you don't have to stay.

At the minimum go for a two year work permit so you get medical coverage. Anything less and you will need insurance.

I should have said I am not a licensed immigration official and this is just my personal opinion based on experience.

Oh go, NZ is wonderful, beautiful and just amazing. I would LOVE my husband to come home from work and tell me that we're off to NZ. My husband and I travelled out there before we had kids and we fell in love with the people and the places. Happy happy days. Go and enjoy the wonderful life you will be giving your children.