Any ideas on how Ican help my mum .... very upset about us moving overseas

[shelscrape]

DH, DS and I are moving to NZ in January 2011. My mum is finding it very hard to come to terms with, bursts into tears whenever I talk to her. I was dreading telling her we were definitely going - I first told her about 18 months ago that it might happen, but I think she has tried not to think about it.

I feel like a complete cow that I have upset her so much. I've no idea what my dad thinks as mum is very dominant and is always the one on the phone, but I expect he is a wee bit upset too. Half of me says to scrap the plans to go, but I can't make all my life decisions just to make my mum happy.

Anyone else had problems with their parents coming to terms with a move overseas? Would welcome any advice at all on how to deal with this!

oh shelscrape, I do feel for you.

When I finally confessed to having an Australian boyfriend, she was all "Oh I suppose you'll be packing your bags and heading over there then" in a sarky voice; but she was right in the end.

However - when I fell pg with DS and it was definite that we were getting married and would be emigrating she did start to talk about coming over to visit - not by flying, because neither she nor Dad could handle the 24 hour flight for health reasons - but by boat. I don't know whether or not she was starting to quite look forward to it, but it seemed as though she was.

Sadly though, she never got the chance as she died from cancer just after we were married. It made life harder and easier - harder to leave Dad, even though he has my sis living nearby with her 3 DDs; but easier in some ways because Dad was much more "you have to do what's right for you and your family". We do use Skype, I also phone him sometimes (when skype is buggering around) and I and DS have been back to England twice already since we moved out here. I don't know if Dad will ever visit us here (his health problems still pertain and he won't be doing the boat trip by himself!) but at the moment we can afford to go back once a year, so it's not the end of the world.

I do feel extremely frustrated sometimes that we are so far away and would really prefer not to be, but things are the way they are and we all just have to make the best of it.