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Original poster

Bad news today

336 replies

badnews943 · 10/07/2025 21:09

Had a nightmare today. Received news that I have type 3 breast cancer which may be in my lungs. I'm having a lung biopsy next week but the Dr seemed pretty certain.

I'm not sure what to think. Any advice or support?

OP posts:
Original poster
badnews943 · 30/07/2025 12:29

Words · 30/07/2025 11:39

That GP sounds like a strong ally which is exactly who you need on your side! I too need a cleaner but am procrastinating as my place is really bad and feel ashamed.

I know. I feel really lucky that I landed her.

Don't procrastinate over a cleaner. I cleared out some rooms as I had carpet fitted but had no energy to put anything back. I booked a cleaner and she just got on with it. There was carpet fluff all over the house and things stuffed in the bath, she didn't seem fazed. Go for it.

OP posts:
MrsKypp · 30/07/2025 18:32

Words · 28/07/2025 20:23

@Lifestooshort71 @Thatsthesizeofawatermelon

Speaking from my own experience, having recently been diagnosed with a life limiting condition as well as other serious and debilitating issues, I feel only sympathy with the OP.

It's very hard if you live alone with limited external support navigating all this. Some days I feel such loneliness and despair it's not surprising it comes out in irritability, cynicism, anger and frustration. Sometimes someone saying or doing the 'wrong' thing can really set me back, even though I know it was well meant.

Example : I have sudden severe hearing loss. It's been investigated and likely to be permanent. A friend sent a link to a newspaper article yesterday about a new treatment which only works if undertaken within the first 72 hours. Given this happened months ago, as he is aware, this wasn't terribly helpful, and it coincided with me breaking my new hearing aids so I just felt completely crushed.

I know many if not all have been or are still going through the mill but we can't all be saintly all the time.

I agree with this; well said @Words

MrsKypp · 30/07/2025 18:38

Really good you now have a supportive GP, @badnews943

The wait at the beginning is horrific. I remember it well. I had to wait about 2 months to start treatment, which for me was chemo first. I also had to wait weeks between scans and biopsies despite my cancer being very aggressive and my prognosis poor. The NHS is truly shocking sometimes.

Once treatment started at least I felt we were finally doing something.

Mine was late stage 3 and the highest grade. I had a good response to chemo, which I hope you have too. xxx

Original poster
badnews943 · 30/07/2025 21:51

MrsKypp · 30/07/2025 18:38

Really good you now have a supportive GP, @badnews943

The wait at the beginning is horrific. I remember it well. I had to wait about 2 months to start treatment, which for me was chemo first. I also had to wait weeks between scans and biopsies despite my cancer being very aggressive and my prognosis poor. The NHS is truly shocking sometimes.

Once treatment started at least I felt we were finally doing something.

Mine was late stage 3 and the highest grade. I had a good response to chemo, which I hope you have too. xxx

Thanks. I feel very lucky that my GP is so supportive. She's the right person for what I'm currently going through.

Yes, the wait to find out the full diagnosis and start treatment is awful. My sister is coming on Saturday, so I have a few days of company which will take my mind off things.

I'm really glad you had a good response to chemo. I've been imaging lots of vomiting etc and my Dr was telling me that they mitigate side effects and adjust it if you're feeling really bad. She also said that treatment should start pretty soon which I'm both dreading and eager to begin.

I've stopped looking anything up as it was terrifying me. I'm just watching TV and relaxing.

OP posts:
MrsKypp · 30/07/2025 22:02

@badnews943 I had no nausea at all on chemo, they've got great meds for that now. I had Aprepitant, Ondansetron and Domperidone. Not to say nobody gets nausea, but I was on various chemos and literally had no nausea at all.

I did have some other side effects and I found chemo awful. I am not going to lie. But there are so many different types of chemo and everyone's body reacts differently.

We are here for you. I wish I had known about Mumsnet when I started treatment, you are doing so many clever things in preparation for your treatment. x

SonK · 30/07/2025 22:44

Hello OP, I am really sorry about your diagnosis and I hope your treatment plan goes well x

I think you are very brave, and everyone else who has been diagnosed and is dealing with this ❤

By the way I live in Essex, if you live nearby and need any support let me know, I would be more than happy to help, and I mean it x

Original poster
badnews943 · 31/07/2025 17:05

@MrsKypp Thanks. Posts like yours give me some hope that the side effects will be manageable.

@SonK That's very kind, thanks.

Had another nightmare today as my oncology appointment was cancelled. Eventually established that they had double booked me.

I couldn't get out of bed this morning which was a concern. I eventually managed it in the afternoon and actually got some things done which I was pleased with because the other day it took me all day to refill the salt in the dishwasher. I was thinking about getting some granola bars and water to store near the bed in case it happens again, as I was starving.

I spoke to the BC nurse today and she's going to chase up Respiratory for me.

OP posts:
Enigma53 · 31/07/2025 17:23

@badnews943 I’m glad you made it out of bed, are you okay now? Having a stash of bottled water and some snacks nearby, is a good idea. After chemo, I always have water, fruit and some biscuits in my bedside table drawer. Also, In case you do feel a little queasy from chemo ( and you might not) I can highly recommend Queasy Drops sweets from Amazon. They come in a variety of different flavours and take the edge off.

Do you you still have your oncology appointment on the 4th, or has it been rescheduled?

Words · 31/07/2025 17:27

That's appalling @badnews943 . I am really sorry. What are they thinking?

Granola bars and water by the bed are a good shout for when you're too weak to get up but still get hungry.

Is your sister still coming on Saturday or has that been postponed?

Original poster
badnews943 · 31/07/2025 18:31

Enigma53 · 31/07/2025 17:23

@badnews943 I’m glad you made it out of bed, are you okay now? Having a stash of bottled water and some snacks nearby, is a good idea. After chemo, I always have water, fruit and some biscuits in my bedside table drawer. Also, In case you do feel a little queasy from chemo ( and you might not) I can highly recommend Queasy Drops sweets from Amazon. They come in a variety of different flavours and take the edge off.

Do you you still have your oncology appointment on the 4th, or has it been rescheduled?

I'm feeling a bit better thanks, just had no energy at all. I've ordered some granola bars to keep near the bed. Thanks for the sweets recommendation, I've put them in my Amazon basket.

My oncology appointment is going ahead, they booked two appointments for me and cancelled one.

OP posts:
Original poster
badnews943 · 31/07/2025 18:32

Words · 31/07/2025 17:27

That's appalling @badnews943 . I am really sorry. What are they thinking?

Granola bars and water by the bed are a good shout for when you're too weak to get up but still get hungry.

Is your sister still coming on Saturday or has that been postponed?

I know, I was really panicked but managed to sort it out.

Yes my sister is coming Saturday which is something to look forward to.

OP posts:
Wrenjay · 31/07/2025 18:40

Big hug. I hope you get better results than you are expecting. Take all the help that is offered: Macmillan etc. During treatment some therapies may be offered. Even if they are not your "thing" (hand or foot massage, meeting up with others in similar situation for coffee) accept them if you have the energy. It will help with your mental help. When you go for consultations about treatment take someone with you to take notes and keep them. I found this invaluable even a couple of years later.

Hoping for the best for you.

Original poster
badnews943 · 31/07/2025 20:53

Wrenjay · 31/07/2025 18:40

Big hug. I hope you get better results than you are expecting. Take all the help that is offered: Macmillan etc. During treatment some therapies may be offered. Even if they are not your "thing" (hand or foot massage, meeting up with others in similar situation for coffee) accept them if you have the energy. It will help with your mental help. When you go for consultations about treatment take someone with you to take notes and keep them. I found this invaluable even a couple of years later.

Hoping for the best for you.

Thanks. I've looked into holistic treatment they have on offer on the ward. I'm not up for it at the moment but if I have more energy at some point, I'll definitely take them up.

I'm not sure about bringing someone every time but it's great advice. My sister is coming with me this time so that's reassuring.

OP posts:
Original poster
badnews943 · 01/08/2025 11:10

My respiratory appointment has been moved to next week which is good news and my sister is coming up today. 😁

OP posts:
Sunshineandrainbows23 · 01/08/2025 12:49

badnews943 · 01/08/2025 11:10

My respiratory appointment has been moved to next week which is good news and my sister is coming up today. 😁

Hey @badnews943 That's really good news about your respiratory appointment and that your sister will be with you later. :)

Original poster
badnews943 · 01/08/2025 12:53

Sunshineandrainbows23 · 01/08/2025 12:49

Hey @badnews943 That's really good news about your respiratory appointment and that your sister will be with you later. :)

Show quote history

I'm tearful though and I'm never tearful. I was fine and holding it together until my Dr held my hand and it was such a humane gesture against all the clinical indifference that it opened a gate and I keep tearing up. I hope I don't embarras myself.

OP posts:
BodysBroken · 01/08/2025 13:06

The wait for results is just horrendous isn't it, and feels like such a long time.

If your cancer is stage 4, please know that many of us live well with it for a long time. I'm 3 years in and off to Mallorca on Sunday, having spent last weekend camping at a music festival. Once you start treatment you will find your new normal.

Please keep us posted. Hopefully it isn't stage 4, but if it is I will be happy to recommend the organisations that have helped me.

Sunshineandrainbows23 · 01/08/2025 13:17

badnews943 · 01/08/2025 12:53

I'm tearful though and I'm never tearful. I was fine and holding it together until my Dr held my hand and it was such a humane gesture against all the clinical indifference that it opened a gate and I keep tearing up. I hope I don't embarras myself.

Show quote history

Big hug xx Isn't it "funny" that we can hold it together until someone is "kind" to you and then the floodgates open. Tears are normal and they help release stress hormones, so don't hold back if you need to cry. I heard a Dr who treats people with Lupus say if you need to cry, then cry until you have no more tears. xx

I promise you won't embarrass yourself. The medics will be well used to tears. Why they keep a box of tissues on their desks.

PrincessFluffyPants · 01/08/2025 14:24

badnews943 · 01/08/2025 12:53

I'm tearful though and I'm never tearful. I was fine and holding it together until my Dr held my hand and it was such a humane gesture against all the clinical indifference that it opened a gate and I keep tearing up. I hope I don't embarras myself.

Show quote history

Just wanted to say, the wait is the hardest part, it really is. I have a Stage 4 diagnosis and I was genuinely relieved when the Oncologist told me because it meant that at last I would be starting treatment, even if it is palliative care. It was a long wait for me, just over 8 weeks from GP visit to the first Oncology and I was Scared (yes, with a capital S!) and frustrated with the whole process. I understood that I needed to have scans, and another scan, and another scan and another scan and blah, blah but it had to be done for a full diagnosis and prognosis. Tears were coming out of my eyes without warning, I couldn’t sleep, the whole caboodle. Another hand hold from me, and again to recommend the MacMillan Buddy system when you are ready.

MrsKypp · 01/08/2025 17:42

Bursting into tears isn't something we should feel embarrassed about. I burst into tears countless times due to the whole cancer business.

I think crying is a natural release; we need to let it out and crying is natural.

When I was shown my treatment plan (years of it, not months or weeks) I was feeling so horrified I couldn't even cry. I just kept hoping I would wake up from what must be a nightmare. But it wasn't a nightmare; it was real.

Lots of us here have been through cancer journeys of all varying sorts and we are here for you. xxx

Original poster
badnews943 · 02/08/2025 12:40

PrincessFluffyPants · 01/08/2025 14:24

Just wanted to say, the wait is the hardest part, it really is. I have a Stage 4 diagnosis and I was genuinely relieved when the Oncologist told me because it meant that at last I would be starting treatment, even if it is palliative care. It was a long wait for me, just over 8 weeks from GP visit to the first Oncology and I was Scared (yes, with a capital S!) and frustrated with the whole process. I understood that I needed to have scans, and another scan, and another scan and another scan and blah, blah but it had to be done for a full diagnosis and prognosis. Tears were coming out of my eyes without warning, I couldn’t sleep, the whole caboodle. Another hand hold from me, and again to recommend the MacMillan Buddy system when you are ready.

Show quote history

Thanks. I'm sorry you went through it. The endless scans and blood tests are a nightmare. At one point I was covered in bruises as they couldn't get a vein for a canula. 8 weeks is a very long time to wait for treatment. I'll look into the buddy system.

OP posts:
Original poster
badnews943 · 02/08/2025 12:44

MrsKypp · 01/08/2025 17:42

Bursting into tears isn't something we should feel embarrassed about. I burst into tears countless times due to the whole cancer business.

I think crying is a natural release; we need to let it out and crying is natural.

When I was shown my treatment plan (years of it, not months or weeks) I was feeling so horrified I couldn't even cry. I just kept hoping I would wake up from what must be a nightmare. But it wasn't a nightmare; it was real.

Lots of us here have been through cancer journeys of all varying sorts and we are here for you. xxx

I'm in that current state of thinking it's just a nightmare and I wake up every day and the realisation washes over me again. I was told that I'd have treatment for the rest of my life which was horrifying so I understand what you mean. I'm expecting the worst next week and am just dreading it.

The support is appreciated.

OP posts:
Enigma53 · 02/08/2025 12:50

@MrsKypp I’m with you. My treatment is also relentless and probably won’t end any time soon. I’ve got a new pain which I can’t get under control. I’m
so so scared. Paralysed with fear today, I can’t move from my bed. Scan on 11th.

@badnews943 how are you today? What time is your sister due to be with you?

Original poster
badnews943 · 02/08/2025 13:03

Enigma53 · 02/08/2025 12:50

@MrsKypp I’m with you. My treatment is also relentless and probably won’t end any time soon. I’ve got a new pain which I can’t get under control. I’m
so so scared. Paralysed with fear today, I can’t move from my bed. Scan on 11th.

@badnews943 how are you today? What time is your sister due to be with you?

💐Im sorry you're in pain and frightened. I hope the scan is good news.

My sister came yesterday, it's been amazing to take my mind of things.

OP posts:
Words · 02/08/2025 17:10

I've been thinking of you @badnews943