My son went to heaven

[LeeLeesmum1]

My beautiful son passed away January this year , my heart is so broken .
I handed my notice in at work and finished on the 18/12/22 , this was due to the caring responsibilities at home and my sons disability & illnesses progressing. My son took unwell that day and ended up back intensive care . He had his 18th birthday in there and passed away a few days later . Even tho he was disabled and had always known he would be life limited it all happened so fast and I still to this day cannot get my head around it . My husband has suffered severe anxiety and depression for years now and has now basically confided himself to the house , we have another 2 kids my youngest being 7 oldest 19 . I'm trying my hardest to work keep myself together keep them together and to be honest I can't do it anymore no 1 helps me no one cares how losing my son has affected me I'm just expected to keep going . I done a dog grooming qualification in April I honestly don't know how I got thru it but I did now I'm trying to build up something and again have had no help from anyone. We have no money my husband can't work my daughter doesn't live here we're getting 500 a month uc and that doesn't even cover the bills . I'm at breaking point i feel like getting in the car and never coming back 💔💔💔💔

What beautiful words for your son, they brought a tear to my eye. He was very lucky to have you xx

Liam sounds like he was brave and very special and you were lucky to be in each others lives.

Some people get really awkward around grief and I am sorry if you are surrounded by that.

Exercise is supposed to help depression, is there any way you can get exercising as a family to try and heal together? I know it will be really hard to get going but with a young DC you could try doing something for the three of you - even if it’s at home?

Can you see if you've got a "bereavement cafe" in your area? It's a good place to meet some people who will understand more what you're going through. Very sorry for your loss.

Liam sounds like he was a tough cookie. I do hope your memories of that smile give you some comfort in the toughest times. I'm sure having him at 19 gave you such a special bond too.

So sorry for your loss. Sending love and hugs ❤️❤️

I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds as if you have more to cope with than a person can reasonably bear. I hope you can find help soon.

So, so sorry to read this. You sound like a wonderful mother and my hearts breaking for what you have been through. I also lost a son and know the relentlessness of having to keep it together for the rest of the family. Try find the time for your grief...maby not healthy but I used to go for a shower ( to cry). I also keep an album on my phone of photos just of him that I can now, over a year on, look at for comfort. Really thinking of you and your family.

I am so very sorry that you are dealing with all this. I cannot imagine the pain. I don’t have much I can add to what others have said, but didn’t want to not acknowledge your post. I hope that you can get some help and support, and know that you are not alone in feeling like this. Try to take care of yourself.

So sorry for the loss of your son. You were clearly a wonderful and devoted mother ❤️.

You might find it helpful to contact the charity Care for the Family which gives bereavement support including telephone befrienders:

https://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/support-for-you/family-life/bereavement-support/bereaved-parent-support/

I'm so sorry for the lost of your wonderful son Liam. It's unimaginable the grief your suffering.

Life is so cruel, it makes no sense.

You cannot carry on shouldering this weight alone. I don't have answers but you but I hope you can keep posting and sharing your feelings with us here.

So sorry for the loss of your beloved son.❤I wish I could make your pain go away. Xx

Thank you so much everyone x

@LeeLeesmum1 is there anything we can do to help you grieve? Would you like to tell us about his favourite things? Lovely memories? Tough ones if it helps?
Anything you can think of, please let us know x

Im so sorry xxx

Sorry OP. It's CAP - Christians Against Poverty - not CAB! Thinking and praying for you and seeing again how supportive Mumsnet can be.

Rest in peace Liam 💙

RIP Liam. OP I'm very sorry for your loss. Clearly your heart is broken. You were lucky to have each other. The love you shared is special. You'll always be his mum. That's very special. Liam knew that too ❤️

I'm so sorry for you loss. I don't know what to say but wanted to offer you a handhold 💐 xx

I am so sorry to hear this.
I just wanted to say I'm not surprised you feel so fragile, grief is so hard.
I also wanted to say you sound like a wonderful, caring loving parent and so resilient. Try and reach out to some of the groups people have suggested. Take one day at a time. Care for yourself

I am so, so sorry

You sound like an amazing mum and he sounds like a lovely boy, I
Hope things become a tiny bit easier soon for your family

I'm so sorry @LeeLeesmum1 💔

Your DH, as an adult, can't leave everything to you but if that's what he expects, and he wont help himself (he needs to see his GP and claim PIP) tell him to leave. You have enough on your plate.

You all need grief support now. Please talk to your doctor/social services to see what is available. Even Mind sessions will help you cope/see a way forward. You should be a priority esp as your lovely DS was disabled ie you were all already managing with that which in itself can be stressful.

When my DH died, there was no grief counselling available for us. I took anti depressants for c12m. They def helped me because like you, I had noone, 2 kids, house and home to sort. It was quite frankly chaos for a while and honestly, that is fine.

Ref your business, call the local enterprise partnership and see if they have any financial support you can tap into. They may be offering IT support - social media site build, advertisement - or business planning support. Best of luck, as a dog owner, finding a good groomer is so hard so you'll def be needed.

Sending a big hug xxx

If your husband starts handing sick notes into UC, after 12 weeks he will be assessed for capability for work. If he is found incapable for work and work related activities you will get extra money for him.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your son Liam🌹 from what you have posted, he sounds like he was a wonderful young man with a beautiful soul.