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Original poster

Shit, shit, shit...

35 replies

resipsa · 20/07/2023 23:06

DH was diagnosed with bowel cancer (T2N0M0) in 2014 at 38. Surgery + chemo. All good for 9 years. 9 years. Until this week - revealed to me and GP several red flag symptoms stretching back to April. On 2WW. For CT and colonoscopy next week. Got 12 and 7 year olds. Trying to stay breezy and positive for him but FFS, can't do this again. Life is a bitch.

OP posts:
PoachedDregs · 20/07/2023 23:08

Life really is a bitch. What a shit time for you, I'm so sorry.

Happytohelp2 · 20/07/2023 23:10

I’m so sorry and really hope it’s not what you’re fearing. A day or even an hiur at a time. Try not to think further ahead than that. You are strong and as a family you will manage. Look for and take help from others too. Sending hugs.

Original poster
resipsa · 20/07/2023 23:12

Thank you. Just need to say it aloud to someone not connected to us all. Perhaps jumping the gun, especially seeing the heartache on this board but the anxiety is unbearable.

OP posts:
greenthumb13 · 20/07/2023 23:31

Will be thinking of you. Hoping for the best news possible 🙏

Beeonmyeyelash · 20/07/2023 23:31

Fingers crossed for you both.

Piyo · 20/07/2023 23:33

That’s really tough.

Praying for the best for you all. Life if cruel and shit but there are always glimmers of hope.

mulesrules · 20/07/2023 23:34

I'm so sorry.

mrsfollowill · 20/07/2023 23:40

Sorry - truly shite news for you - you just have to put one foot in front of the other and take each day as it comes. My dear dad had a massive battle with bastard cancer. My mum now has it at nearly 80 Flowers

tt9 · 21/07/2023 00:12

really sorry you are going through this.♡

RedDoughnut · 21/07/2023 10:28

Oh that's crap! Why did he wait? Did you suspect anything?
I hope the tests come around quickly and that things work out.

Original poster
resipsa · 21/07/2023 11:37

I have no idea why he waited. Probably hoped they would pass. Or petrified. He's talked himself into the worst case scenario already. Luckily he's on my PMI so had a consultation yesterday with the gastroenterologist who knows him and who has organised the scan etc. Not heard a thing from the NHS 2WW referral made on Monday. If you're on this board, you'll know what I mean - it's the inability to think forward or plan while you're waiting to find out. Kids now off for 6 weeks.

OP posts:
Original poster
resipsa · 21/07/2023 11:39

Thank you everyone for replying. I can't bring myself to make it real by telling anyone I know.

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 21/07/2023 11:41

Oh OP that's really rubbish, hope it works out OK.

MissyB1 · 21/07/2023 11:45

Fingers crossed it’s not you both fear 🤞

Has he been under surveillance since his treatment?

Original poster
resipsa · 21/07/2023 12:11

@MissyB1 Yes, but the frequency tails off after you hit the 5 year survival point. Can't recall when the last one was. Possibly 2021. He and my mum shared an oncologist for a while.

OP posts:
linelgreen · 21/07/2023 12:17

Think positive at least you are going down the private medical route. This will ensure he gets the best possible treatment with no NHS delays and no waiting for any tests/scans everything will be done quickly and you will always see your consultant not just a member of his team so he is in the best possible hands. Good luck.

Diminishingreturns99 · 21/07/2023 12:29

So sorry op. Awful just waiting and wondering as your mind goes to all sorts of different scenarios… and as you say your life is on hold temporarily. Wishing you and your dh all the best.

MissyB1 · 21/07/2023 12:41

resipsa · 21/07/2023 12:11

@MissyB1 Yes, but the frequency tails off after you hit the 5 year survival point. Can't recall when the last one was. Possibly 2021. He and my mum shared an oncologist for a while.

Aaah yes, same with my breast cancer. Now I pay privately for a mammogram and ultrasound every year.

But 2021 was only a couple of years ago and if his bowel was clear then hopefully that’s very much in his favour.

2bazookas · 21/07/2023 12:53

resipsa · 20/07/2023 23:12

Thank you. Just need to say it aloud to someone not connected to us all. Perhaps jumping the gun, especially seeing the heartache on this board but the anxiety is unbearable.

So sorry.

I really understand the need for partners to offload with no holds/screams/curses /fears/anger barred in a safe place that won't upset the family; and from experience, thoroughly recommend letting fly to Macmillan nurses (by phone or face to face). Don't bottle it up. Don't let DH bottle it up either; he needs a stranger to hear it all too. MY DH found his outlet online in cancer forums, still does.

I'd also say (from experience); because you've been there before you have deep-mine reserves of strength and resilience. Hold tight to that. Whatever's coming, you can do it.

tattygrl · 21/07/2023 13:01

Wishing you and your family all the very best, OP. Know that you're not alone.

Original poster
resipsa · 21/07/2023 13:12

Thanks again everyone. Sitting in M&S car park having a private moment before putting on game face. It's my non working day so everyone I see assumes it's an all fun Friday. Onwards...

OP posts:
Maiden2021 · 21/07/2023 13:15

Hugs

MissyB1 · 21/07/2023 13:17

Let us know how it’s goes -if you feel able to. Sending positive vibes.

threefiftysix · 21/07/2023 13:25

Tumours in the bowel are v slow growing so if he had a colonoscopy 2 years ago I'm sure he will be fine OP. Will keep everything crossed for you x

JenniferBarkley · 21/07/2023 13:35

Fingers crossed OP. He was very young the first time, was he tested for Lynch Syndrome? If he does have bowel cancer again I'd look into it as I think a positive result can indicate some treatments are more likely to be successful. We went through this three times with my dad. Best of luck Flowers