My mother is dying from pancreatic cancer. It's spread to her liver.
She's bedridden. There's nothing of her. She's so thin and bony now. Even her lips seem to have vanished.
She's asleep 99% of the time. Very little morphine. She doesn't seem to be suffering pain it seems but I still wish serene oblivion for her. I can't stand seeing her this way.
She's not eaten since Sunday when she had one of those nutritious shakes.
She's breathing rapidly and shallowly with an open mouth. Has been this way for three days now. Can't talk. Hardly ever opens her eyes.
She seems to have lost her reflex for swallowing and even when I try to give her water using those little sponge swabs, her mouth doesn't respond. It's very dry and I keep trying to put water on her lips and tongue using the swabs.
I can't bear it. Watching my skeletal mother almost pant and then it sounds like liquid in her chest which she clears and carries on breathing quickly.
The nurses say she might have weeks left like this. In a sleeping state but taking nothing on board in terms of food or very little water.
It's so distressing.