I’m so sorry. My husband died of cancer 3 years ago, whilst my children were in primary school. Obviously it was tough, but we are here and we are okay. Unfortunately it’s a path that only gets easier by walking it yourself, but you will carry your children on their toughest sections, and you in turn will be carried by their love for you.
We are very open as a family, and have been throughout, albeit in an age appropriate way. I think that helped my children, knowing that they could ask or say anything, and that they were always being told the truth. However, my husband refused to believe he was going to die and make any preparations, and as a result my children don’t have any letters, voice messages or special mementos, which they now really wish they did. By the time he finally believed he was going to die, he was unable to speak clearly or write.
So if your husband is able to, I would really recommend capturing his voice and handwriting, buying each child a bottle to keep of your husband’s most worn scent (whether that’s aftershave, shampoo, etc - whatever smell is most ‘him’, in case it’s later discontinued), taking his hand prints and finger prints (also useful for memorial jewellery at a later stage), and any activities still possible that your husband particularly loves. In my experience, anything that you can do now, whilst your husband is able to participate, will be treasured later on.
And although this will inevitably be a challenging Christmas for you all, the fact that it is Christmas will enable you to discreetly capture a lot of these memories with your children in a way that’s associated with fun and happiness. Apologies that this turned into an essay, and again I am so sorry, and wish you all the most wonderful Christmas possible. Please feel free to message me if you wanted to ask questions of someone further down this road.