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Life-limiting illness

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Original poster

Stomach, liver & Lymph nodes cancer

87 replies

MouldyOldey · 24/09/2021 19:39

Hi. My mum has been ill for a while. They said it was cancer of the lymph nodes but that was the secondary one, so after having every test in the world (it feels like!) They have now said it's stomach & liver & possibly bowel as well (they want to check her bowel still)

I'm not sure what I want from this thread really other than somebody to talk to.

This is bad, isn't it? She isn't going to survive this is she? I feel like I can only ask her so many questions as I don't want to make her talk about it unless she wants to.

Is anybody there?

OP posts:
SergeiL · 16/05/2022 14:09

Hi @MouldyOldey

My mum had secondary cancers and had some heart scans. From memory, it was due to the chemo potentially impacting her heart. Is your mum on chemo?

Original poster
MouldyOldey · 16/05/2022 14:18

Yes she is SergeiL. Thank you for answering me.

She has had heart scans before but I didn't think she would need one today, she's gone into hospital in a lot of pain in her stomach.

OP posts:
lljkk · 16/05/2022 14:35

Sorry about your mom, MO. Cancer is a tough disease to deal with.
Remember that the vast majority of medical tests rule things out rather than confirm something bad. Hang in there. x

Original poster
MouldyOldey · 16/05/2022 14:44

Thank you lljkk. I know that's true but it's nice to hear it.

She's had a tough time with chemo since I started the thread but no major set backs, this is the first time really & she can't have anybody with her & she's so scaredSad

OP posts:
Original poster
MouldyOldey · 16/05/2022 16:04

They think it's either more cancer or a blood clot.

OP posts:
SergeiL · 17/05/2022 16:36

Oh so sorry to hear that. Hopefully, once they confirm what is is, they can work out a plan to keep her as well as possible.

Original poster
MouldyOldey · 17/05/2022 18:32

Thanks SergeiL It's kind of you to answer me.
There's barely any info coming from my mum & no visitors, so the days are seeming very long.

I had terrible nightmares in the small times when I managed to sleep last night.

I know that she was waiting to have a scan but I've not heard anything since 2 texts at 11am today.

OP posts:
lljkk · 17/05/2022 23:11

I hope you get some (good) certainty soon, Mouldy.

bloodywhitecat · 17/05/2022 23:23

I know that when DH had his stroke he then had scans of his heart as chemo can cause blood clots. The waiting in the wee small hours is just the hardest, I hope you have news (as good a news as possible) soon.

Fantasea · 17/05/2022 23:35

@MouldyOldey I'm a cancer patient and hope I can offer some reassurance with your mum's ECG. It measures the electrical activity of the heart to detect or rule out any problems there. As PP said, most tests are to rule things out and particularly in cancer patients, the treatments and disease are so complicated and impacts on other organs, you end up having a load of tests. I have ovarian cancer and have had 2 ECGs in A&E, once when I presented with abdominal fluid and another time with an infected rash on my legs. I wondered why both times. Another ECG I had when admitted one time was for when my heart was racing due to a drug in a drip not being administered fast enough.

It must be so worrying for you, not having any information and knowing how scared your poor mum is. Could you ring the ward and try and speak to one of the nurses in charge of her care that day? I would avoid the morning when they're extra busy with doctors' rounds. If you don't get the information you need, then perhaps try again when the shift changes around 8pm and ring again in the later evening. I hope you can get some better sleep and will have some information soon Xxx

Original poster
MouldyOldey · 18/05/2022 05:23

Thank you for sharing that Fantasea I hope you are doing well nowFlowers
That is really reassuring & I appreciate you telling me.

I phoned the ward after she text yesterday morning as she said she can have visitors. But he simply said 'No visitors, ring back tomorrow morning' so I'm going to do that.

She said that last time she was in, (for something else a few years ago) all the messages on the group chat were 'driving her crazy'. So I'm guessing my siblings have been told that as well, & nobody's talking now. I thought about text her just on her number last night but then I thought hopefully she's drifting around in a morphine bubble & I don't want to annoy her. (She loves morphine!)

Thanks bloodywhitecat We spoke before didn't we? (It's not letting me scroll back) how is your DH doing?

Thanks lljkk. I appreciate it.

OP posts:
Fantasea · 18/05/2022 08:02

@MouldyOldey thank you, I'm doing much better now. it does depend who answers the phone when you ring the ward, some nurses are a lot more helpful than others. Hope when you ring back later today, you'll get some more information.

Original poster
MouldyOldey · 18/05/2022 09:09

I'm glad to hear that Fantasea.

I did ring today but they said it's only one visitor today & her partner has that slot.

I sent a message on the group chat as I'm driving myself crazy with worry. She said she had a full body scan yesterday but doesn't know anything else.
Hopefully at some point today there will be some answers.

OP posts:
Original poster
MouldyOldey · 18/05/2022 10:41

Well she has messaged me separately, she is feeling better & is enjoying having a rest & the others on the ward are all nice.

I feel better having spoken to her.

I'm ok not going to visit as long as there is some communication going on.

OP posts:
Fantasea · 18/05/2022 10:57

@MouldyOldey I'm pleased you've spoken to your mum, being out of communication is awful as you imagine all sorts of things. It sounds as though she's settled which is encouraging. Please let us all know if you have any updates, thinking of you Xx

Original poster
MouldyOldey · 18/05/2022 14:10

Thanks for the support Fantasea Especially with what you are going through yourself.

Mum was confused about the visiting situation as well but on the whole was much brighter. Just back to waiting now.

When I asked my siblings they said they hadn't bothered to ring about visiting & would see her when she comes out... I wish I could be as calm as they are!!

OP posts:
Original poster
MouldyOldey · 18/05/2022 18:54

Well she's allowed to go home. Cancer has spread to her liver & she's off the chemo now.

Apparently 2 other family members put their names down for visiting (so took up the 3 spots) didn't say anything on the group chat & then didn't even go. Nice family I've gotSad

OP posts:
lljkk · 18/05/2022 19:05

1 day at a time. I bet she's glad to escape. Flowers

Original poster
MouldyOldey · 18/05/2022 20:11

Thanks lljkk She said she is going to miss the food & the women she was in with.

She's in shock I think. She wasn't expecting it to be more cancer at all.

She has to see the consultant Friday. She was reading out all these test results to me over the phone & I had to keep saying 'Im sorry, I just don't know what it means'Sad

OP posts:
Fantasea · 18/05/2022 20:56

@MouldyOldey you're more than welcome, I'm happy to help Flowers. It's so hard when your family are so unsupportive and you're shouldering it alone. It must be a dreadful shock for your mum and of course for you. It's all very confusing trying to absorb all the information in hospital so perhaps she was hoping you'd be able to make sense of it which is hard anyway, but even more so when you don't have the information in front of you. Some of us on here may be able to help you with those when you can see them for yourself. I can understand your mum missing the women she was in with, those I've been in with have always been really friendly and chatty. Hoping you get some information on Friday with the consultant, only one day to get through until then, try and have some rest if you're able.

bloodywhitecat · 18/05/2022 21:01

I am so sorry to hear the news wasn't good. We did speak before @MouldyOldey, sadly DH died in Feb, he had a massive stroke in Nov and that put paid to any more chemo and we already knew his tumours were growing. One of the things that really helped DH was a second opinion, that opened a door to more treatment (that sadly the stroke slammed shut again), has your mum had one of those?

Original poster
MouldyOldey · 18/05/2022 21:19

Fantasea The distraction of my family being utter twats is probably doing me good!

It comes in waves doesn't it, like you almost forget for a second & then it washes over you again that everything has suddenly got worseSad
I've got a bag of cardigans that I've got together in the last 2 days that I'm going to give to her when I see her as she's always cold lately & they are too small for me now (I'm bigger than her)
I want to see her now & give her a hugSad

I'm hoping to see her tomorrow but obviously I won't if she doesn't feel up to it. I'm glad she's home & as ok as she can be right now.

bloodywhitecat I'm so sorry. So very sorryFlowers
I don't think mums had a 2nd opinion. She last had a full scan in January so whatever has happened has happened since then. I think that she thought she would have longer before it got worse.

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Fantasea · 18/05/2022 22:41

@MouldyOldey yes, it does come over you in waves and it's exhausting. I'm sure your mum will be pleased with some extra cardigans? My feet were freezing when I was very ill so perhaps some cosy socks would help her too? Hoping she's up to seeing you tomorrow.

@bloodywhitecat so sorry to hear about your DH Flowers

Original poster
MouldyOldey · 18/05/2022 22:51

Fantasea I've kept her stocked up on knee length socks for the past few months but thanks for the idea. She wears them with her dressing gown around the house & under her long skirt when she goes out.

I'm geatfull for any other ideas thoughSmile

I was going to order her a card (she likes cards) but I just ended up sobbing so I will have a look tomorrow.

Thanks for talking to meFlowers

OP posts:
waterlego · 18/05/2022 23:09

I’m so sorry to read that you’re going through this. And how annoying that you might have been able to see your mum in hospital had it not been for others taking those visitor slots and then not using them 😡 Hope you get to see your Mum at home soon.

My mum had a similar cancer. It wasn’t in her lymph nodes, as far as I’m aware, but she had a primary cancer in the stomach which metastasised to the liver. She had some chemo which we were told from the outset would be part of a palliative care plan, ie they knew it wouldn’t put her cancer into remission but they hoped it would give her a bit longer. It was incredibly gruelling for her but they did two rounds before she really became too frail for it.

She spent more time at home and then eventually went to a hospice. Overall, it was 9 months from her diagnosis till we lost her, but probably a year from the onset of symptoms.

I’m a Dr or nurse and I know cancer is complicated, so the situation could be very different for your mum, and I hope it is. If it is the worst case scenario though, I hope that whatever time your mum does have left is quality time, with minimal pain and with plenty of opportunities to spend time with loved ones.