Stomach, liver & Lymph nodes cancer

[MouldyOldey]

Hi. My mum has been ill for a while. They said it was cancer of the lymph nodes but that was the secondary one, so after having every test in the world (it feels like!) They have now said it's stomach & liver & possibly bowel as well (they want to check her bowel still)

I'm not sure what I want from this thread really other than somebody to talk to.

This is bad, isn't it? She isn't going to survive this is she? I feel like I can only ask her so many questions as I don't want to make her talk about it unless she wants to.

Is anybody there?

@MouldyOldey Yes, my garden is looking loads better thank you, he makes a much better job of it than I ever did!

Your mum being so brave, bless her, that must be so hard to watch. I know that chemo can damage organs but I don't know about it causing cancer. Every patient is different and you're right to trust the oncologist. At the beginning I was second guessing everything, now I try and have the confidence that mine is acting in my best interests, it's hard though. If you've found something she likes, then stick with that, it doesn't matter about a 'balanced diet' just getting a few calories in.

I agree, whatever gets her through and any food to tempt her is better than none. I know what you mean about being pleased, my DD25 used to praise me when I'd eaten something and would 'encourage' me to eat a bit more.

I used to like being out in the car to have a change of scenery so I'm sure your mum would appreciate coming along to an outing. It brought back some 'normality' to me and did lift me a little.

Hoping you're able to have some rest this weekend Xx

Fantasea Yes, I don't think that chemo causes cancer, I think that's the wrong words for what I meant.
I must sound like a complete idiot sometimes, the things I come out with! Thank you for putting up with me!!

Yes, a balanced diet kind of goes out the window doesn't it, as it should!

I'm glad about your garden... Mine is an absolute disaster, but it's good for the bees I guess

Does your DD know much about your cancer? (If you don't mind me asking)

I wish I could drive as that's what's causing half the problems for my mum, I can't drive her to appointments & all of our days out are having to work out how far she will have to walk from the bus stop/train station/where the nearest toilet is etc... If I had the money to get the driving done now then I would.

Hi Mouldy, just wondering with the transport issue whether the hospital could help at all with patient transport? I know that when my dad needed frequent transport and my mum was not well enough to drive him and I was at work each day the hospital provided a taxi- it might be worth seeing if they can help with this for your mum?

Thanks Snowdrops I got her to look into it & they said they could fund hospital transport, so getting in a mini bus & collecting others before it gets to the hospital but mums not keen 'What if somebody makes it late, & anyway it will be full of old people'. Mums words!

I'm glad your dad got a taxi

She generally uses taxis now but obviously they cost. I help when I can.
Everybody else in the family drives but they keep saying to her 'Just get a bus'... (They've not had to navigate the buses round here & don't know how often they are late, don't turn up at all or completely ignore the bell ringing & you have to keep pressing for the next stop!)

@MouldyOldey just wondering how your mum and you are today? Xx

Hi Fantasea Mum has had the liver biopsy so is just waiting for the results.

She is doing ok. Up & down but that's to be expected.

How are you? x

@MouldyOldey the waiting is the worst part, really hoping your mum gets her results soon. I'm ok thank you, I've been doing some housework today which was made me really tired, I forget I have to pace myself at times!

Hi Fantasea (stern voice) I hope you've been taking it easy a little more

I saw mum today. She still has to wait 2 weeks for the results. It seems sooo long already. She isn't in a great place at all now.
Because she is off all the chemo etc she said she almost feels like her old self which is cruel because she's probably going to have to go back on everything again

She is convinced that there was something they weren't telling her when they did the biopsy. She said they kept asking her odd questions & talking to each other in hushed tones.

But we just have to wait, don't we.

I just want to send you a great big hug @MouldyOldey
Have dealt with cancer in my family and the endless waiting for results always seemed to me worse than the treatments.
My very best wishes to your mum too!

Thanks Solosunrise That's really kind of you.

It is. It's worse somehow this time because everything might be back to normal or everything might be about to turn awful again.

@MouldyOldey two weeks is ages when you're waiting, it's so hard. I second guess everything, even the tone of a receptionist can set my anxiety soaring. I think it's the uncertainty and the lack of control which adds to it all. I'm thinking of you both Xx

Fantasea That's exactly what me & my mum are like! It's so hard to stop isn't it...
Expect the worst & try to hope for the best.

My siblings are more... 'It will be fine, stop worrying!'