Sitting with my Mum ... how ridiculously hard this is

[Twinkle71]

DM has battled bowel cancer for 4.5 years . Spread also to liver and lungs.
She is fading away day by day. I’ve moved into their house today to give Dad support.
She is yellow, puffy, confused, sleeping all the time. No mobility at all. Losing control of bladder and bowels. But has moments of lucidity, will manage to eat small mouthfuls of food and sips of water.
I have two teenage children at home with sickness bugs. I’m lucky to have a really supportive DH.
I feel so torn. I feel so guilty wanting this to be over.
How long can this twilight zone go on for? 🙏🏻

So very sorry. In the coming years you will have the knowledge that you did everything possible to make your mother's passing as easy as was possible. And that will bring you comfort.

So sorry for your loss Twinkle.

So sorry to hear. Take comfort you and family were with her as she passed, now at peace and free of pain.

@Twinkle71 so very very sorry for your loss. I am glad she passed peacefully and you were together.

So very sorry for your loss

Twinkle I have walked in your shoes. I know how hard it is and how you just want it over. My Mum had pancreatic cancer and it was bloody awful. I did have my sisters to share it though. We all moved back in with Mum and worked out a rota of 2 on and 2 off and did 4 or 5 hours at a time day and night. It drained us all and I cannot imagine how hard it must be if you are doing it all alone. They gave my Mum 4 months and she had just under 6 weeks. Use the time to talk to your Mum and tell her how much you love her. One of my sisters is a carer so she helped us know what to do. Turning your Mum every few hours so she does not get bed sores is important. Also we borrowed a special mattress that has sort of bubbles that blow up and down to help prevent sores too. Do you have anyone else who could sit with your Mum while you have a break? Keep checking she is not in pain and if she is tell nurses as they can give pain relief. I can remember about 4 days before my Mum died I felt I had had as much as I could take and sat upstairs and cried. I forced myself down to read to her. I am glad I did as I was so tempted to just go home for a couple of days but glad I did not after she died. Once your Mum is gone you will always be so glad you were there for her. You only have one Mum and I think caring for mine at the end helped me to grieve.

Sorry Twinkle just posted then read threads at end saying your Mum passed. SO sorry you had to go through what you did.

@caringcare the ops mum died read her last post. x

Sending my heartfelt condolences

I bet she could not be more proud. Well done , Twinkle, now time to focus on yourselves. Much love. X x

condolences to you all x

My condolences to you, may she rest in peace. 💐

I'm glad her passing was peaceful

I'm glad that her passing was peaceful

So sorry for your loss. Your mum was obviously so loved, that shone through your posts.

I'm so sorry for your loss, but you did amazingly well. She would be so proud of you and your dad x

Thank you all so much 🙏🏻
Now for the hard job of keeping my Dad going . 60 years they spent together. 😥

At peace at last. You have done a wonderful thing for your mother - you stuck by her side, even though it was so painful for you all. A lucky lady.

@Twinkle71 I keep talking about mum to dad. He was going to a friends house tonight and he asked me should I bring something I said no that is not what men do. Two of my siblings told him he should because him and mum used to go to this house and mum would have brought biscuits or sweets.

You are a wonderful daughter.

💐 so sorry for your loss Twinkle xx

Make sure you take some time to let yourself grieve as well Twinkle... sending and hugs