Dad has acute myeloid leukaemia

[ilovearcticroll]

It's not a good prognosis for someone his age-no treatment unless he gets on a trial. Kind of expected him to get to his nineties like my grandparents and certainly outlive my mother who has numerous health problems.

Does anyone have experience of this and what it's like? Diagnosed yesterday. He had a blood transfusion today which should make him feel better (haemoglobin was 8 and should be nearly double that). Will hear about trial after they discuss his case, but otherwise this is an aggressive, fast moving leukemia.

Even though there's been lots wrong with our relationship, l feel sad. He loves us and is kind and supportive, even if not always in the way you'd hope!

Ah, bless my poor dad. He's got a lot worse and Doctor now suggesting 3-4 days. It's very sad, but he is finding it hard to let go of never doing the things he loves again and I think much longer would he really rough on him.
I'm going to see him and I think I have to accept this might be the last time.

I’m so sorry love.
Have you been? How was it?

Bless you, Wilma. No I haven't been yet. I am going to need to wait until Wednesday unless he gets worse because a long drive away and all the complications of getting home sorted.

He hasn't always been easy, but I know he loves us all desperately and want to provide comfort. Hopefully I'll get to do that on Wednesday, although I've quickly discovered that balancing the needs of everyone around a dying person isn't easy and I might have to take a back seat. He knows I love him and value him because I've told him.

I realise it looked from my other post

Posted too soon-it looked from my other post I was going to visit today, but just not possible ☹️

Was just wondering how things were with you and your dad, sorry to read about his deterioration. I hope that you get to see him and that things are peaceful

Ah, bless you JackRusselsAreCute. I don't think he wants much more, even though he's not in pain or anything. He's seen who he wants to, is not able to do anything and I can't blame him really.

Wishing you well over the coming days

and an unMNetty {{hug}}

Got a middle of the night call so have come to Dad today. Won't be long for him now and he was quite distressed so has had meds to sedate and settle. Now calm and sleeping. I do want to chat to him like they say, but it's a bit odd so I'm just holding his hand. Mostly-and then popping in and out. And posting here. Hope that's not too weird.

Sorry-it's not at all odd to chat to people in dad's position-I know that from so many sources. What I mean is it doesn't feel right for me at this moment!

He will know that you are there and - well I’ve been where you are - the meds will have him calm and sleepy. Touch his hand and tell him you are there. It’s not weird to pop in and out - it’s a dreadful situation when you don’t even want to nip to the loo in case something happens, yet you are just there waiting waiting waiting.

Love and strength to you and your family.

I just came across your thread today, I'm so sorry you, your dad, and all your family are going through this. My grandmother had AML, and the progression of the illness was shocking to us all. I'll keep you all in my thoughts, take care

Thanks, LordFrontPaw and Grucius. It's still calm here. Dad woke up in a different room because they've found a much bigger one as several family here, but I needed to explain to him where he is and who is here. It's not difficult, feels quite okay. I'm glad we all have enough space.

And I genuinely didn't think he would wake up and be able to talk. So it's nice.

And sorry for your loss Grucius 💐and FrontPaw. These are hard times that you've been through and I really appreciate your support

Make sure you don't forget to eat and drink yourself.

LordFrontPaw, you are so right to remind. And I would add, for anyone who is going through this, that try eating even if you don't feel hungry. I thought I would be sending back half the lunch today (hospice has chef, meals available for family too) but cleared a substantial plateful.

Also watch out for The Guilt that leaps on you when least expected.

Oh-that's helpful to know. Even if so far I don't feel guilty? Is it that kind of subversive, just when you least expect it and thought you were at ease with it guilt?

I have been surprised by the lack of it so far. I haven't been a terrible person, but I haven't been the ideal daughter either.

My 2 year old son had it, was treated and then relapsed. He then had a bone marrow transplant. He's now 14. It's a truly horrible disease with truly horrible treatment. Sending you lots of good wishes and love for you and your Dad x

My grandad died of this last year, diagnosed in jan and died in April. In the end I just wanted him to go because I hated to see what had become of him and knew that he hated it to. The first feeling I had when he passed was relief for him, the real grief came later. Much love and good wishes OP

Yes this - and the guilt of wishing it was over, the guilt when you find yourself having a laugh or enjoying something... which is silly because we know that our loved ones would say ‘don’t be so daft, you loon...’

It is good to have this in mind. I have grown used to unexpected waves of feeling and so guilt should not be an exception but still good to be reminded.

Ahh, thinking of you ilovearticroll