Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Life-limiting illness

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

The calm before the storm

999 replies

Willowkins · 02/06/2018 12:55

I previously posted under the title: I'm not OK - about my lovely DH with stage 4 bowel cancer.

We heard a few weeks ago that DH has refractory disease - basically the chemo is not working. We see the oncologist this week for the results of the latest MRI and hopefully a new plan but it's not looking good.

I am sitting here in the sunshine and the birds are singing but I know we have dark days ahead. I'm trying to stay strong for the family.

Just needed to share with you good folks as can't really talk about this in RL.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
itshappened · 27/05/2019 21:19

I'm so so sorry to hear this and I wish I knew all the right things to say, and could help in some way.

The next few days/weeks will probably feel both extremely long and extremely short, at the same time. When my father died, I found myself wishing it over to stop the suffering, but equally wishing him to keep breathing because I couldn't bear the thought of him not being with us anymore. Just keep telling your DH how much you love him and talk about all the wonderful things you have experienced together. And try to get some rest when you can. You must be exhausted. If you can get support from friends and family, then I would suggest organising hospice shifts, so that your husband is not alone; but also so that you can get a break from time to time.

Fruitbatdancer · 27/05/2019 23:25

I’ve stalked both your threads for months now @willowkins (I have a dear friend in a similar position) no words except positive thoughts, strength and solidarity at this difficult time. Thinking of you xx

2stepsonthewater · 28/05/2019 00:00

Hi Willow. I'm just a stranger on the internet sending you love.
Flowers

Chasingsquirrels · 28/05/2019 07:26

Thinking of you both Willowkins and hope you both managed some sleep.

Aberforthsgoat · 28/05/2019 07:46

Delurking to say I’m so sorry to read this heartbreaking update. I dont know if it’s the right thing to say but I’ve really been rooting for you and thinking of you (and all on this page in similar positions) often.
I wish I had something more helpful to say.
Much love x

Frikonastick · 28/05/2019 09:47

All my thoughts are with you

Original poster
Willowkins · 28/05/2019 11:04

My brave, kind, strong, adorable, faithful, loving MrW died this morning.

It was quite quick in the end and I'm glad to say that I was with him.

I have lost my best friend. He fought so hard to stay with me and the YWs but he had nothing left

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and good wishes. The love and support I have got from MN has meant so much. I wish all good things for those of you who are still on this journey.

OP posts:
AhhhHereItGoes · 28/05/2019 12:00

My greatest regrets OP.
Sending you and the young Ws all the strength in the world.

PotteringAlong · 28/05/2019 12:02

Oh my lovely. I read your thread from start to finish this morning and have just seen this. I’m so so sorry for you and the YW’s Flowers

TailsoftheManyPaws · 28/05/2019 12:02

I'm so sorry to hear that, Willowkins, and hope that being there at the end will be some comfort to you.

Torvi · 28/05/2019 12:04

Willowkins I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Your love for each other shone through your posts. Sending love to you and your family Thanks

Knittedfairies · 28/05/2019 12:21

I'm so sorry.

BigcatLittlecat · 28/05/2019 12:36

I'm so sorry! You sound like an amazing wife. I truly hope that the next few days and weeks are not too horrific. Go safely with love.

yolofish · 28/05/2019 12:45

oh willow... I am so so sorry, you all fought so hard (I hate fought but cant think of another word), and so long. I'm glad you were there at the end. xxx

notapizzaeater · 28/05/2019 12:47

I'm so so sorry - hope you take comfort that you where there with him. X

JITSOG · 28/05/2019 12:57

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

I read earlier in the thread that you had been to church. I have prayed for you and your children. May God bless you with strength and shower you with support from those closest to you. Flowers

Frazzled2207 · 28/05/2019 13:08

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your children today x

allgoodinthehood · 28/05/2019 13:22

I'm really sorry you and your family had to go through this journey. Sending love .

Paddy1234 · 28/05/2019 14:04

Oh Willow - I am so deeply sorry for your wonderful family. I am so glad that you were with him to the end, in the months and years to come that will bring you much comfort.
Now bed down and embrace that lovely family of yours
Much love
❤️

GimmieTheCoffeeAndNooneDies · 28/05/2019 14:23

So sorry to read this.

resipsa · 28/05/2019 14:25

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and your children's father.

daciousme · 28/05/2019 15:42

So so sorry - sending much love to you and the family.

TwitterQueen1 · 28/05/2019 16:18

I am so sorry for your loss Willowkins Flowers

Steamfan · 28/05/2019 16:27

So sorry to read this. Much love to you all x

Wonkydonkey44 · 28/05/2019 16:55

So sorry to read this . I’ve been lurking here for a while. Lots of love Flowers